Pieces of Me
by the.terrorist
Summary: Yoh/Anna. Everything tumbles down as the truth is finally revealed. Lost and confused, she turns to the only person she knows she can trust. With him by her side, she realizes that everything really will be alright. He loves her, she knows. But will that be enough?
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: Shaman King © Hiroyuki Takei. That goes for all the future chapters, okay? _

–

**And they say that **

**A hero could save us,**

**I'm not gonna stand here and wait,**

**I'll hold to the wings of the eagles,**

**Watch as we all fly away.**

—_"Hero" by Nickelback_

–

"We won't be able to keep this a secret for much longer," the woman who went by the name of Kino Asakura said, breaking the silence of the room. "She needs to find out."

"No, she doesn't," a man around her age answered in a firm voice; his name was Danzo, and he was one of the elders of the Asakura family. "She is not ready to face this."

Kino raised an eyebrow. "And you know that how?" she inquired.

"She's sixteen," he replied. "Still too young. Still too foolish. She may be intelligent, but I am sure she is not capable of understanding something of this magnitude – at least not yet."

"Anna is anything but foolish," the woman snapped, defending her student. "You know it."

"Just because she seems more mature than the majority of _kids_ her age, doesn't mean she is not foolish," he said.

"Anna is not a kid," she hissed angrily, not pleased at all with the way Danzo was talking about the girl. "She – "

"You need to start noticing her flaws, Kino," he cut her off. "She is far from perfect."

"I am not insinuating that she is perfect," she said, shaking her head. "I never did. But she is Anna, and I know her. She _will_ understand." She paused for a moment, rolling her eyes, before continuing: "And even if, by some miracle, you turn out to be right, you cannot change the fact that this secret can't possibly be kept for much longer."

Danzo sighed. "It's been ten years, Kino. If she hasn't discovered it by herself yet…" he trailed off, leaving it to her to make connections and realize what he meant by that.

"Then it's bound to happen very soon," she repeated, stubbornly holding her ground. "My student is very smart, Danzo. Keeping a secret from her is basically impossible, and that's not necessarily because she can read minds. Somehow, she can feel it, can see right through you."

"Right," he mumbled sarcastically. "She hasn't seen through us until now, Kino. Nor has she sensed anything off." He shrugged innocently. "Maybe you're just overestimating her?"

"It is hard to sense something off when you have no clue what that something might be," the woman replied calmly. "Anna has been led into believing that her family has left her, and she has no reason to question that. If she had, though, I am completely sure that the truth would have been out by now."

"But it seems like you did a far too great job by playing with her mind the way you did," he added in an almost mocking tone. "Right?"

Kino glared at him. "That's not what this whole thing is about, Danzo, and you know it."

"Maybe it isn't," he said, shrugging. "But if she were as smart as you're trying to make me believe – "

"Enough is enough," Kino snapped, wanting to put an end to this conversation before she lost her temper and lunged for his throat. "I know you are a member of the council and, believe it or not, I respect that.

But this child has been put in my care. I have raised her, taken care of her and turned her into the woman she now is. If I decide it is time for her to find out, she will, regardless of what you – or any other person, for that matter – have to say about it." She paused for a second. "I have already called her here. And I _will_ tell her everything."

–

–

–

_A/N: Hey guys! I'm baaack and so is Pieces of Me. Gosh, I've missed this story. Like, really. I didn't even realize it until I decided it was time for me to start re-writing it._

_I surprised myself by both planning and writing a lot in advance, and I truly hope that, by doing this, I'll be able to update regularly (or, well, as regularly as possible). Anyway, as you have already noticed, this was just the prologue. The next chapter will be posted in a few days._

_P.S: Just for you guys to know: things will be a hell of a lot different then they were in the first version of the story. Not only because I don't want to bore you guys by making you read the same thing twice, but also because it's better this way. Everything is more organized and mysterious and, well, it's like I initially planned for it to be. I hope you'll like it, too!_

_Now, please review! :)_


	2. Photograph

–

**I used to think**

**I had the answers to everything**

**But now I know,**

**That life doesn't always go my way…**

—_"I'm Not a Girl, Not yet a Woman" by Britney Spears_

–

A soft, quiet sigh escaped her lips as her blue eyes lazily scanned the classroom for a moment, before dropping back down to look at the cell-phone in her hands, checking the time for what seemed like the millionth time that day. She was sitting in a chair at the back of the room, her back leaning against the wall; her chin was resting on one of her palms – a clear sign of absolute boredom – while her blonde hair tumbled over her shoulders in soft waves.

Kyoyama Anna was bored. Bored with the lesson and _amazed_ at how some of the students could still be paying attention to what the teacher was babbling about.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like she was _unable_ to do so; but the subject was definitely not one of her favorites, the teacher had long since been labeled crazy in her dictionary, and the simple fact that this was basically the last week of school before winter vacation wasn't helping any.

Besides, she had already finished with all of her final exams, and she'd always felt rather tired – or simply lazy, if you wish – after that. Not that she would _ever_ admit that to anybody.

"Are there any other opinions on this matter?" As the teacher's voice reached her ears once more, she was unable to keep herself from sighing out loud. "Come on, you're the ones who proposed this book."

"Well, there could be other takes on it, of course," Pirika stated from next to her, making her turn her head to gape at her. Well, _almost_ gape at her. For some reason she had yet to find out, the Ainu seemed to be in an extremely good shape today. Not only did she actually participate to PE (which she usually didn't, for this semester's unit was swimming, and she was _terrified_ of damaging her hair), but she was also very active in classes. "There could be – "

"Err, Pirika," Ms. Hideyoshi interrupted her, "Why don't we let someone else speak his mind, too?" she suggested, seeing as the 'stimulating conversation' she'd mentioned at the beginning of the class had so far occurred only between the two of them.

The Ainu blinked. "I would, if the others actually talked," she replied sincerely. "I mean, I can't shut up when it's silence all around me." Anna almost scoffed at her words. The blue haired girl was so much like her brother, sometimes it felt like he had never left – like _they_ had never left. But those were rare occurrences, as the blonde didn't allow herself to day dream very much.

Yoh was gone, whether she liked it or not, and dreaming about the opposite would certainly do her no good.

That didn't mean she didn't miss him or wasn't worried about him, though. The last time she'd heard something about him was when she'd met Mikihisa's adoptive children – Seyram and Redseb – and that had been over a year ago. The worst part of it all, though, was that they had described, in detail, not how they had met them or what their opinion about him was, but actually how he had gotten _hurt_ while protecting the two of them.

It was probably the very first time someone's words had scared the hell out of her, and the very first time _anybody_ could have seen it – in her posture, in her eyes, on her figure…everywhere.

Ever since then, she'd been on the edge, waiting for something she couldn't quite name – a sign, perhaps. A sign that he was okay, that he was _alive_. Truth to be told, she had always been worried about his safety, but scenarios like these – scenarios in which he didn't come back home, to her – had never crossed her mind at the beginning.

_Because she knew she could trust him. _

Yoh might be childish and laidback, but he knew when it was time for him to get serious; his bad habit of always putting his friends' well-being before his own had him at a disadvantage sometimes, but it was also something that gave him more strength when he needed it. When fighting, he was always focused and determined. She had trained him well and was pretty confident in his abilities. Damn it, he had promised to come back home, and Yoh had never let her down before.

Surely, he wouldn't do so now, right? No, he wouldn't – she had no reason to doubt that. _But still… _In a sense, Redseb's story made her realize that nothing could have prepared him well enough, that not even all the training in the world could have ensured that he would be completely safe and that he would eventually come back to her – and as the Shaman King, no less. It made her understand that everybody who participated to the tournament was very well prepared and that, in the end, it all came down to one little relative thing called _chance_.

Yoh could be strong enough to beat Hao on his own, but one small shift in the events, one moment of carelessness, one second of weakness would be more than enough to take him down.

Which was why, for the past two months, she'd done nothing but continuously worry. And worry and worry and worry. And it was getting so damn annoying!

"Miss Kyoyama," the teacher announced, snapping her out of her thoughts. The blonde looked up at her, a questioning glint in her blue orbs. "Tell us _your_ opinion," she encouraged.

Resisting the urge to groan out loud, Anna chose the easy way out: "I don't have one." She hadn't meant to sound rude or uneducated – she was merely being sincere.

"Oh, come on." Too bad Ms. Hideyoshi already knew her pretty well, and was therefore aware of that. "Who _doesn't_ have an opinion on Romeo and Juliet?"

"Me," she answered bluntly, without hesitation, earning a few laughs from her colleagues.

The teacher smiled. "Anna, have you even read the book?"

"I've tried," she said. Because she had. When she was younger, Kino made her read classical literature, claiming that a queen had to be well educated; being a person who enjoyed reading, Anna had never objected to the woman's decision, nor did she ever think that she was asking too much of a ten year old. Until she had handed her a book named 'Romeo and Juliet'.

As the obedient apprentice she was, Anna had tried her hardest to accomplish that task, too, and to read the goddamned book. She'd had three attempts – all of them failed.

Then later, when she came to live with Yoh and got enrolled in high school, she'd tried again. I didn't work this time, either. Unaccustomed with the 'I can't and that's it' kind of situations, the blonde had somehow come up to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, her age had something to do with her inability of at least _scanning_ through the novel – perhaps she was too young to understand and enjoy such a complex story. Turned out, her age had absolutely _nothing_ to do with it.

The guilty one here was Shakespeare, for writing such an absurd novel. That, she found out only a few months earlier, when in the middle of her final attempt to read Romeo and Juliet, she felt this bizarre urge to laugh at the stupidity of the things written there.

It freaked her out, of course, and that led her to the final conclusion: she couldn't _possibly_ read something like that. Never, ever.

"You've tried," the woman repeated, amusement written all over her features. Anna didn't quite get what was so funny about this situation, but she dismissed the thought. Who the hell cared, anyway? "Tried, but didn't manage, right?"

"Kind of," was her only reply.

"Don't mind her," Pirika joined in, waving a hand in the blonde's direction. "She doesn't have a romantic side."

The girl threw a sweet smile in her direction, which she answered with one of her famous death glares, then launched into another of those long, boring conversations with the teacher; and, just like that, things went back to normal and the class continued to follow its normal course.

It seemed like an eternity until the bell finally rang, and Anna found herself up on her feet and out of the room faster than she thought possible, with the Ainu hot on her trail.

Upon reaching her locker, the blonde stopped to leave her books, unintentionally giving Pirika a chance to start talking. "Me and Jun are going shopping today," she said, sounding excited about it. "We haven't told Tamao about it yet, but I'm sure she'll have no problem with it. Do you want to join us, too?"

"I can't," she replied without hesitation, but didn't elaborate as much as the girl would have liked.

She raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Kino called me last night," Anna explained, knowing that she couldn't get away without doing so. "She told me to go to Izumo as soon as possible. Apparently, she has something to talk to me about." Which, now that she thought about it, could very well be equivalent to the standard: _'you've got some training to do'_. It wasn't uncommon for her to do such things – for some reason or another, she'd been pretty interested in her training lately – so the blonde didn't dwell too much on the matter.

A small whine escaped Pirika's lips. "So you're really leaving?" she asked, pouting lightly.

"Of course," the other girl answered. "I'm leaving right now, actually," she said as she closed her locker and turned to face her friend. "I just need to find Jun so that I can take her car."

"And have yourself arrested 'cause you don't have a license," the Ainu supplied, rolling her eyes.

Anna shot her a glare, but chose not to comment on the matter anymore. The way she saw it, just because she didn't have a certificate to prove it, didn't mean she couldn't drive – especially since everything she did was relatively perfect – but Pirika's opinion was different, and she knew better than to start an argument with her.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "See you later," she said, waving lightly, before turning and starting to walk towards the exit.

"Hey!" Pirika yelled and ran to catch up with her, not wanting to lose her through the crowd of students. "When are you going to be back?"

"I don't know," the blonde answered without stopping or turning to face her.

"Call me?" she asked hopefully.

Anna raised an eyebrow and glanced at her over her shoulder. "No," she replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, then continued on her way, leaving her pouting friend behind.

Muttering a few curses and unintelligible phrases under her breath, Pirika turned around with the intention of making her way towards her own locker, only to find herself face to face to a skeptical looking Tamao. Not having expected something like that, she gasped and almost jumped; she was even about to throw the girl a glare, but then she realized that the gesture was too much like a certain blonde she knew – one that had just successfully managed to annoy the hell out of her – and refrained from doing so.

The last thing she needed right now was to involuntary act like Anna, really.

"Don't do such things, Tamao," she said, exhaling heavily in relief. "You scared the shit out of me!"

The younger girl offered her a sincere apology, as sneaking up on her hadn't been her intention at all, but quickly changed the subject, eager to find out whether her assumptions had been right or not. "Did you tell her?" she asked.

In response, Pirika only sighed loudly and briefly shook her head, before walking past her towards her initial destination, knowing that the pink haired girl would follow her. "I didn't actually have the chance to do so," she said, feeling the need to give her an explanation. "You know how she is."

"It can be pretty difficult to talk to her sometimes, yes," Tamao admitted. "But still, that isn't an excuse for your behavior. In a way, she has a _right_ to know."

Pirika rolled her eyes. "I'm not really obligated to tell her everything – or anything at all, you know?"

"I know," the girl answered. "But common sense shouldn't have allowed you to keep this a secret. Because she is your friend. Yours _and_ theirs. And his fiancée…" she trailed off, knowing that her point had already been made.

As expected, the blue haired girl turned to face her, placing her hands on her hips and allowing a small frown to take over her features. "Are you trying to make me feel guilty or something?"

Tamao shook her head. "No, I'm not," she said. "But it's good if you do. It means that you acknowledge your mistake."

"It wasn't a _mistake_," the Ainu scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Hmm," her friend nodded, but not in agreement. "Then what was it?"

"Well…" She hesitated, not entirely sure of what she could say in a situation like this. "It's not like I _planned_ on not telling her," she finally started, "but it's not the end of the world, anyway. She misses him, you know? All of them. So it will be a nice surprise," she said, nodding to herself.

They were silent for a moment, until Tamao decided to point out something known by both of them. "Anna hates surprises. She like, totally _loathes_ them."

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes. "If she doesn't thank me for it, then _he_ definitely will."

Tamao couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her lips. "Yeah," she agreed, smiling. "And she will most likely take both you and his 'thank you' on a one way trip to the cemetery."

–

–

–

"Anna!" Keiko greeted warmly upon opening the door, revealing her future daughter-in-law. "How are you?" she asked as she quickly ushered her inside, claiming that the weather was far too cold for her to spend another second out there.

"I'm fine," the blonde answered, tucking a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. "Kino called me," she wasted no second in explaining. "She said she wanted to talk to me about something."

The woman nodded, placing a hand on the girl's back as she led her further inside the house. "I know," she said in quiet, soft voice. Anna frowned lightly upon hearing her, but decided not to question her on the matter – it was none of her business, now was it? "She's kind of busy right now, though. Talking to Danzo. Remember him?"

Of course she did. How could she ever forget such a person? The only elder of the Asakura family that hadn't agreed to her engagement with Yoh and that was still strongly opposed to it; he had never liked her – whether that was because, when it came to him, she had a hard time controlling what came out of her mouth, or because she had been chosen over his precious granddaughter to marry the Asakura heir, she didn't know. Although, if she were to guess, she'd go for the latter. But, whatever. As long as Yoh was hers, it didn't really matter.

"Yes," she finally said. "I do."

"She won't keep you waiting for long," Keiko assured her; she paused for a moment, before rolling her eyes and continuing: "Knowing those two, they're probably fighting by now, anyway."

Upon hearing that, Anna couldn't stop the small smirk from spreading onto her lips. It was no secret that Kino was very protective of her, which often led to heated arguments between her and Danzo – the blonde was still easily amused every time she thought back to when she'd had a chance to attend to such a fight. It was a sight to behold, what more could she say?

"Are you staying the night?" she asked as they entered the living room, snapping her out of her reverie.

Taking a seat on the couch, the blonde silently contemplated her question for a moment or so, before finally answering: "I think so." It was already dark outside and snowing pretty heavily – no matter how independent she might be, Anna knew better than to venture out on such conditions. Especially when she learned how to drive by herself – and _maybe_ by watching TV, as well.

"Good," Keiko said. "The weather's gone bad – I was actually worried about how you're going to make it here."

"I can manage," the blonde replied quietly, unused with such behavior. The woman had always been very caring and affectionate with her, but once Kino took her away to Aomori and then sent her to live with Yoh, she didn't see much of her. And it wasn't like her son was any different in that regard, but still, it wasn't the same. Yoh loved her as her boyfriend, as her fiancé, while Keiko…well, truth to be told, she liked to believe that the woman loved her as a mother. And, now that she thought about it, that was most likely true – after all, Keiko had always acted as such.

On the other hand, Anna couldn't say the same thing about herself. Sure, she loved Keiko, in her own way, but not _that_ much. She didn't consider that woman her mother, no matter the fact that she really, really should. For some reason, she just couldn't – there was something inside of her that told her that someone else already occupied that position.

And while she knew it was the stupidest and most annoying thing ever, Anna was also aware of the fact that she couldn't do anything about it.

Secretly, though, she didn't even want to try and do so.

"I know you can," the woman replied, sighing quietly as she realized that she should have known Anna would say something like that. "Redseb has been whining for hot chocolate ever since this morning," she continuing, changing the subject, "so I'm going to make some. Will you be okay on your own?" she asked, even though she knew she really didn't have to.

The blonde's answer only served to confirm it. "Of course."

However, she didn't have the chance to spend much time alone – despite the fact that she really, _really_ wanted to – because Redseb came running into the room only a few minutes later, screaming for her as if his life depended on it. "Sissy!" He was up on the couch and hugging her before Anna could ever register what had happened, but her arms seemed to act on their own accord as they wrapped around him, returning his embrace.

She had never been a fan of kids, but she had to admit that she liked these ones. She wasn't sure whether that was because she could find certain similarities between them and herself – like the fact that they had been abandoned by their father, for example – or because they could be pretty damn cute when they wanted to, but that wasn't exactly relevant.

Both Seyram and Redseb liked her, as well – that much was obvious. When they first met her, they had been really cautious around her, probably not knowing what to make out of her presence, but when they found out she was Yoh's fiancée, they instantly opened up to her. It was as if they associated with safety _everything_ that had to do with him. That's the reason why, every time she saw them, Anna really couldn't help but wonder just how much he had done for them and how much they loved him for it.

"Look what I found, Sissy!" he exclaimed as he pulled away from her, settling more comfortably on the couch, in front of her and showing her the picture.

Anna frowned, unable to see what exactly he was referring at. "What is that?" she asked.

"A photo!" he said as he thrust it in her hands; the blonde rolled her eyes at his eagerness, but didn't comment as she took said object and quietly began examining it.

A young girl, with bright blue eyes and blonde hair tied up in two ponytails, was held in the arms of a brown haired man, whose eyes – she noticed – were the same unique shade of blue as the little girl's. Next to them there was a woman, with warm brown eyes and curly golden hair, smiling up at the girl.

There was nothing really special about it, just a family portrait kind of picture, and while Anna couldn't help but wonder banal things, like where the hell Redseb took it from and what exactly he planned to do with it, she couldn't shake off the feeling that she had seen the scene before – somehow, somewhere, sometime. For a moment, she could have sworn she'd seen the figures moving, but then she realized it was just her imagination. It was incredible how insecure a simple picture could make her.

"Redseb, where did you get this?" she asked, averting her eyes from the photo and locking them with his.

"I found it," was his only answer.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course you found it," she said. "But where exactly did you?"

"Err," he stated unintelligently, rubbing the back of his head in a way that reminded her of Yoh more than she would have preferred. "I _might_ have taken it from Kino-sama's room," he finally said after a few moments of hesitation, grinning guiltily.

"Are you insane?" she hissed as soon as his words registered into her brain, shock flooding her eyes. "Do you have a death wish or something? Go put it back!"

Seriously, she'd always known that Redseb's open personality and childish naïveté would get him in trouble sooner or later, but she would have never imagined he'd be so stupid to go look through somebody's stuff – and through Kino's, no less – and be so proud of it that he thought showing it to others would be a good idea.

"I will, I will!" he said, rolling his eyes. "Geez, calm down, will you? Just look at it for a moment."

The blonde threw him a glare. "I just did," she snapped, extending her hand with the intention of handing him back the photograph. "Now go do as I tell you!"

Crossing his arms over his chest, Redseb stubbornly shook his head, refusing to take it from her. "Look at it," he insisted, watching her with stern – or whatever word would fit the situation better – light blue eyes. It was in that particular moment that Anna realized that he wouldn't give up, no matter what she said or did to him – that child was way too stubborn for his own good, and he was starting to piss her off. Anyhow, she decided to comply – who knew, maybe she could still save his life.

Throwing him once last glare, the blonde let her eyes wander back to the photograph in her hands. "What?" she asked, annoyed, as she struggled to find whatever seemed so uncommon to Redseb, so that he would finally leave her alone.

The boy let out an exasperated sigh. "This girl looks like you, Sissy!" he exclaimed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Is that you?"

It was a while until Anna answered. Of all the things he could have told her, this was definitely one that would have never come to her mind, and it took a few moments for her brain to process it thoroughly. "You're an idiot," was the only thing she could muster saying at that point.

I mean, yeah, the girl in the picture _had_ blue eyes and her hair _was_ blonde, but that didn't mean it was her. Besides, Redseb knew her story – he knew she'd been abandoned and that she had no memories about her family. If only he had thought a little harder, he should have been able to make connections and realize that she did not own any pictures from when she was younger.

But he didn't, which resulted in him wasting her time. And if there was something in this world that annoyed her _more_ than Pirika when in a particularly hyped mood, that was somebody wasting her time for nothing.

"Hey!" he yelled, offended, and snatched the picture from her hand. "All I did was point something out to you!"

"Something stupid," she countered.

He glared. "And what _makes_ it so stupid?" he asked, as if silently challenging her to find an answer.

"Redseb, I don't have any pictures from my childhood," she said, rolling her eyes. "You should have known that."

"Uh-uh," he said, shaking his head. "You _think_ you don't have any pictures from your childhood," he corrected. "But what if, by some miracle, you do? What if – "

"Stop right there," the blonde ordered, holding a hand up. As much as she cared about him, she was under no obligation to put up with his childishness. "You're being delusional," she deadpanned, rolling her eyes. "I think you've been watching too much TV lately. So just return this picture to its place and stop messing with other people's things."

"But – " he tried to speak, only to be interrupted again; all the blonde did this time was speak his name in a stern voice, but that was more than enough to make him shut up.

Without another word, she stood up from the couch and walked past it, intending on going to look for Kino. Whatever she and Danzo had been talking about must over by now, and even if it wasn't, to Kino, she was much more important that that old hag. Besides, she had school the next day, and she could always use that to her advantage; the woman had never agreed to her skipping classes without having a very, _very_ good reason for it, so she was certain that, if she reminded her about that, she would become her top priority in a matter of moments.

However, Redseb's voice stopped her before she even made it out of her room. "Sissy?" he asked, albeit a bit hesitantly. She didn't say a word, but she turned to face him again, silently giving him permission to continue. "Can you give her the picture for me?" He smiled sheepishly and extended the hand that held said item.

"If you want to die," Anna answered calmly, shrugging. She had no problem whatsoever with doing what he was asking of her, but she knew Kino wouldn't be very happy upon finding out that someone had looked through her stuff, and she would definitely _not_ take the blame upon herself.

On the other hand, it seemed like Redseb wasn't aware of that – or maybe he simply didn't care, knowing that Keiko would defend him at any time, in any situation – because he only shrugged and extended his hand further; with a sigh and a slight roll of her eyes, the blonde walked forward and snatched the photo from him, then turned around and exited the room.

The Asakura compound was huge – too huge for her to say she liked it _and_ mean it – and she had no idea where Kino actually was, but wandering through it was better than sitting there and listening to Redseb's stupid rambling. How the hell something like that came to his mind, Anna didn't know. Heh, she wouldn't even bother with trying to find out; after all, she wasn't an idiot and she couldn't think like one even if her life was on the line. And still…

His words seemed to haunt her, really. Every time she recalled them, this funny feeling curled in the pit of her stomach and her mind seemed to just go crazy with all the possibilities he might have been implying through those words. Her rational part always won, but the other one was strong enough that Anna caught herself looking at the picture in her hands more than once.

Who were these persons? Did she know them? Her heart was screaming at her that she did, that she did and that they even meant something to her, something very important. But her mind was telling her otherwise, and while she could easily come to the conclusion that that was because she didn't have any memories from when she was younger, Anna knew that couldn't be it.

After all, if she had truly been happy in her early childhood days, if she had truly had somebody that cared about her, somebody that really meant something for her…if she had all that even with her mind-reading powers, then why would her parents abandon her? Over the years, the blonde had thought of all the possible reasons for which they did something that: they didn't love her, they couldn't put up with her powers, the way other people viewed them was much more important than their own daughter…she'd thought of everything.

It was the only way she could have put up with this. And, now that she thought about it, the only way she _ever_ dealt with problems. Stop, clear your head, sort through all the possibilities, push aside the least probable ones, bring forward the most plausible ones and start thinking – that was what the whole process was about. It had always helped her.

And if she now allowed herself to listen to her heart, to trust the theory her mind had developed, all that would go to hell. There would be no more reasons, no more logic, no more anything. Only the confusion and the hurt that was now so familiar to her. And she didn't want that. She'd lived through it once and that was more than enough.

The photograph had nothing to do with her – the most plausible possibility, right there. End of story.

Shaking her head as if clearing it of any unwanted thoughts, the blonde hid the picture in the pocket of her uniform, determined not to let herself be tempted to look at it again, then continued on her way. It was a while until she finally heard her mentor's voice, but she didn't quite mind. What she did mind, however, was that, despite the fact that they were both speaking rather loudly, she could not understand a thing from what they were saying.

_" – she has no reason to question that,"_ she heard Kino say. _"If she had, though, I am completely sure that the truth would have been out by now."_

Who was 'she'? What was she supposed to question? What truth were they talking about? Involuntary, Anna found herself asking those questions and actually being rather interested in the answers. It wasn't her business at all, she knew, and she was aware of the fact that Kino wouldn't be pleased – or proud of her in any way – if she found her eavesdropping, but she couldn't stop herself from taking a few steps forward so that she could hear their conversation better.

_"But it seems like you did a far too great job by playing with her mind the way you did."_ She recognized that to be Danzo's voice and a deep frown appeared onto her features as his words registered into her mind. Really, what were they talking about? Kino said something harsh in reply, something she didn't quite catch, before giving him another chance to speak. _"Maybe it isn't. But if she were as smart as you're trying to make me believe – "_

_"Enough is enough,"_ Kino snapped, making Anna flinch the slightest bit. _"I know you are a member of the council and, believe it or not, I respect that. But this child has been put in my care. I have raised her, taken care of her and turned her into the woman she now is. If I decide it is time for her to find out, she will, regardless of what you – or any other person, for that matter – have to say about it."_ What child? Find out what? Have to say about what? What the heck was going on? _"I have already called her here. And I will tell her everything." _Called…who?

As far as she knew, the only person Kino had called here was…was her. Not that she considered herself to be extremely important, but her mentor wasn't the kind of person that would do two things at a time. She told her to come here was because she had something to talk to her about, to show her, to teach her – she would never push those things aside just because she had something else to take care of, especially when that something else was planned.

No, that wasn't like Kino at all. But the woman didn't have any secrets towards her, either, now did she? So it couldn't possibly be her they were talking about. And if it weren't –

Her thoughts were abruptly cut off as the door slid open, revealing none other than Kino Asakura. The blonde had enough sense of self-preservation to keep herself from yelping at the sudden appearance, but, as she stepped back, the ridiculous high-heeled shoes that were recently made a part of her uniform gave her away, alerting the woman of her presence sooner than she would have preferred.

Kino recognized her immediately. "What are you doing here, Anna?" she asked, and the blonde swallowed heavily as her mind raced to find a suitable explanation for her presence; before she could open her mouth to speak, though, the woman interrupted her: "Didn't Keiko tell you to wait for me?"

"Yes," the blonde admitted, nodding. "She did. But…" she trailed off for a moment, still not knowing what to say. Then she remembered the item she now carried in her pocket. "Um, Redseb found a photograph in your room," she finally spoke as she took it out. "And I thought I should give it to you. In case you needed it for something," she explained.

The old woman was blind, but even so, she knew perfectly well what photo her student was talking about. The photo she had taken out the night before. The photo that had, in a sense, helped her decide what to do. The photo she had been given so long ago, along with the little purple box. _Her_ photo.

She sighed. "Keep it," she spoke with an air of finality around it, before turning around and starting to walk away. "It's yours anyway." She ignored the shocked gasp that escaped the blonde's lips as she continued: "Follow me, child. We have something to talk about."

–

–

–

_A/N: Hey, guys! I hope you enjoyed the second chapter. _

_And a couple of things about this chappie that I wanted to clear up:_

_1. Regarding the book thing… well, we do that sometimes. Aside from the compulsory books or texts we have to study, we vote for two others which we'd like to talk about. This usually happens at the end of the semester or before vacations, when no one is really in the mood for serious teaching. We don't get graded for it or anything, so it isn't necessary to study the books thoroughly. And the reason why I chose 'Romeo and Juliet' isn't because I have something against this book. It just doesn't seem like the kind of novel Anna would enjoy, which is why I wrote such a scene, in the first place. _

_It may seem a little weird to you that I focus on such little things, but that's exactly what I have to do. The story is basically about Anna discovering herself, and little nothings like these are really important. Most of them will make a hell of a lot sense later on, as well._

_2. I'm not sure I got it right with Redseb's eye color. Wikipedia says they're brown, but the picture displayed right next to it shows they're blue. So, I was a bit confused about that._

_Now, review, please! :)_

_P.S. Special thanks to **Smart Angel**,** sasusaku4ever**,** yehey**,** caramel **and** Keitorin Asthore** for reviewing the last chapter!_

**_Here is the list of changes_**_** that I have made to the anime/manga in order to write my story:**_

_1. The plot is more anime-based, because the manga follows a way too complicated course of events, and my story is already complicated enough. At the end of the anime, Hao is killed, and the Tournament suspended. The gang returns home and everything goes back to normal. Then the Tournament starts again after a few months. _

_2. I also need Jun and Ren's father to be alive, and a business man. Of course, he can still be a shaman and a proud Tao, but not to the level shown in the manga. Who the gang actually fought back then was their uncle. To avoid confusions – if they ever come up – let's just say that their father's name is En and their uncle's Yuan._

_3. Redseb and Seyram were taken in by the Asakura family after Yoh saved them, and are now living happily._

_4. Mikihisa also spends more time with his family._

_5. And the Asakura family has a council._

_6. Anna's eyes are blue. _

_Remember, every change has a purpose!_


	3. The Truth

–

**Far away, long ago,**

**Glowing dim as an ember**

**Things my heart**

** Used to know,**

**Things it yearns to remember…**

_—"Once Upon a December" by Aaliyah_

–

She couldn't understand. No matter how hard she tried, she just…she just couldn't.

Her brain refused to wrap around the idea that Redseb had actually been right, that the picture really _did_ have something to do with her; it registered Kino's words, but was too overloaded to even try to analyze them. There were too many thoughts, too much confusion; millions of questions were running through her mind at a dazzling speed, leaving her unable to think, to speak, to coordinate her actions. It felt like an out of body experience and that worried her more than she ever thought possible.

She had always hated feeling out of control, and it seemed like that was exactly the state she found herself in right now.

Desperate for something to anchor herself to, she looked down at the photograph in her hands. And, strangely enough, that was all it took for every fiber of her being to calm down. The questions stopped forming and the turmoil in her head slowly began to settle down, until everything became just a low buzz in her subconscious.

With each step she took, she began feeling more confident, as if whatever was about to happen was inevitable and she was doing the right thing by not being stubborn and opposing to it; the effect it had on her was almost equivalent to hearing Yoh say his typical phrase: "Everything will be alright". And that really _was_ something.

She had no idea why, but looking at that photo, seeing those people, gave her that sense of security and comfort she silently yearned for. In some sort of way, it made her feel like _home_. And it was the weirdest thing ever, for nothing – and no one – had ever managed to do something like that. Which made her wonder: just what exactly did that photo represent for her?

Anna didn't even bother to find the answer to that question – she knew she didn't have it. Only Kino did. And it took every ounce of her willpower not to stop right then and there and demand for explanations. Instead, she continued to follow her through the corridors of the Asakura mansion until the woman finally stopped in front of a closed door; sliding it open, she entered the room and the blonde followed her silently, wordlessly, mimicking her actions as she sat down at a small table.

One could say she did all that unconsciously and they wouldn't be wrong, for the blonde wasn't entirely aware of her actions. Her mind was elsewhere.

She now knew for sure that the person Kino and Danzo had been talking about was her and that the picture she now held in her hands had very much to do with their conversation. Actually, everything was connected, in some sort of way. The reason why she was told to come to Izumo immediately, Keiko's rather strange behavior upon her mention of her mother's request, the way Kino seemed to know exactly what picture she was talking about, despite her inability of seeing it… The blonde could even go as far as saying that all this was somehow planned out.

And while that frustrated and annoyed her up to a considerable extent, Anna could certainly see the good part of it all, as well. It meant that she wouldn't have to stay confused for long, for Kino was more than ready to give her all the explanations she needed. _…Right?_

"I – I need answers," the blonde spoke first, her voice soft and quiet. She was sure the woman in front of her had long since been aware of that, but she found herself unable to keep those words from escaping her mouth. She had never been a patient person and this confusing situation wasn't helping any.

Kino nodded, seeming to understand perfectly what her apprentice was going through, and folded her hands together on the table. "And you're going to get them," she replied shortly.

There was no delicate way she could say this, she knew. The situation was far too complicated for her to do two things at a time: explain everything _and_ be careful so that the blonde wouldn't get hurt in the process. That didn't mean she didn't wish for that to be different, though, and that was one of the many reasons why she took so much in opening her mouth to speak.

"I'm going to start from the very beginning. But first, you need to know something," she announced with a sigh.

Whatever plan she might have had regarding how to spin the information so that Anna could absorb it more easily was messed up by Redseb (and she made a small mental note to punish him for it later), causing everything to turn 180 degrees. Well, almost. Certainly, she had to reestablish her priorities – and she didn't know to what extent that was a good thing.

Regardless, there was no going back now. She might as well get it over with. "Your family didn't leave you because they wanted to, Anna." The only response she got came rather late and consisted in a gasp and a breathy 'what?', but she continued, nonetheless: "Unfortunately, the situation was for more complicated than just that."

At that point, all Anna could do was frown. Frown and stare in shock at the person in front of her. What was she talking about? Had she gone nuts, or what? Was this some kind of joke?

Her parents had left her – of that, she was absolutely sure. True, she had no idea why exactly they had done so, but that wasn't such relevant information, seeing as she'd managed to live without it for so long. The point was: they had left her, ditched her like yesterday's old newspaper. And she had known it all along.

Because, unlike other persons, who would have hidden this from a child, Kino hadn't done something like that – knowing her, it had probably never even crossed her mind. She had told her the truth from the very beginning, regardless of how much of an impact it was bound to have on her six-year-old mind. Anna was, of course, grateful for that.

Being told the truth later – and living a lie in the meantime – would have certainly hurt a lot more. Not to mention that she would have probably held it against her even now.

Thankfully, though, the blonde was 100% sure that the Asakuras had never lied to her – at least not when it came to this, to her past. So why was Kino currently fighting to change her mind? Why was she telling her the exact opposite of what she'd known for all her life?

No, this couldn't be. This had to be a dream, a hallucination – the kind of illusion that disappeared as soon as someone pinched your arm and brought you back to reality.

It _had_ to – there was just not other option, no way any of this could be true. Because if there really was a God out there, he knew for sure that her life was complicated enough. And she'd done nothing wrong for him to punish her to that extent. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for her to realize that she was just fooling herself. Or trying to, anyway.

Her gaze fell on the picture in her hands once more, that feeling of security quickly coming back and enveloping her whole.

_"Your family didn't leave you because they wanted to, Anna."_

That man, that woman, that little girl…could it be…?

_"The situation was for more complicated than just that." _

No! This wasn't possible, this couldn't –

_"Keep it. It's yours anyway."_

And still…

_"It's yours."_

…What was going on?

"Anna," the woman spoke up, brining her back to reality. "I understand what you're going through. I know you're confused and maybe even scared."

That was the reason why she would have preferred things to be different. If the incident with the picture hadn't happened, she would have been able to provide her with all this information in a much more systemized way, a way that would have helped the blonde assimilate everything more easily. Because she only liked it when things were in perfect order – Kino knew that.

"I'm going to try to clear things up for you, but for that, I'm going to need you to cooperate," she said. "I'm going to need you to pay attention to every word I'm saying, because each and every single one of them is important – another piece of this puzzle. I never give additional information and you know it."

"But…" the girl trailed off, not even sure of why she'd spoken. "I… What do you mean they…they didn't – " Had the circumstances been any different, she would have probably slapped herself for sounding so pathetic. But, right now, Anna couldn't bring herself to care. "They – "

"We'll get to that part, too, I promise," Kino said. Her voice was uncharacteristically soft and patient – just what the blonde needed at that point.

Even so, it took every ounce of her willpower and confidence to nod. Because she somehow knew for sure that nothing good would come out of this. "Okay," she said, her hands unconsciously clutching at the photograph, just like a child would clutch to his mother's hand when in need of protection and strength.

Kino noticed that, of course, but chose not to comment. The girl had always been strong and independent, ready to face whatever life might have prepared for her, but those simple words she had uttered earlier were more than enough to make her break down. Unfortunately, they represented only the beginning – there were still so many things that needed to be said…she didn't even want to think about how her apprentice would feel once all this was finally over.

One thing was for sure: at that point, Anna needed all the support she could get, so if holding a picture close to her would help her in any way, then so be it.

"What do you know about the Kyoyama family?" she finally spoke, deciding to stick to the initial plan and start from the very beginning.

It was incredibly hard for the blonde to focus on what her mentor was saying, for her brain was still working to process her words from earlier, but she tried to do so as best as she could, knowing that there was no other way she could clear the confusion she felt. Of course, the fact that she seemed to be speaking in another language wasn't helping at all.

"The Kyoyama family?" she asked, an almost incredulous edge to her voice. Anna had never been excessively interested in whatever matter that regarded the Asakura family adopting her, but she remembered that, as a child, she had been rather curious – about everything.

One time, she'd asked Keiko about her name, and the woman had said that she had been the one to choose 'Anna' simply because she liked it and thought it suited her, and that 'Kyoyama' came from Mt. Osore (the mountain she had been abandoned at), as they had the same kanji. She had never thought that such a family actually existed, much less that she was a part of it.

But then again, she had never thought that she actually _had_ a family, in the first place.

Her simple answer reminded Kino of what she already knew – that Anna didn't know anything about her family – so she didn't waste time in continuing: "I am certain you have heard about prestigious families in the Shaman World – like the Asakuras and the Taos. Am I right?" The girl nodded. "Well, the Kyoyama family is one of them, as well."

"…What?" was the only thing Anna could muster saying at the point. In a matter of seconds, she had evolved from the abandoned child who had been given the name of a freaking mountain, to the member of a prestigious family, and that was something that was kind of hard to assimilate, even for her.

"You heard me right," Kino said, nodding slightly. "However, conflicts are everywhere. People think different, act different; they have different perceptions over good and bad. Undeniably, there had been people who agreed with Hao's plan."

The blonde blinked in surprise, her attention momentarily taken away from the issue with her parents. "You mean…there were shamans who truly wanted a world without humans?"

Sure, she had known that Hao had a lot of followers, but she had always tended to believe that those people were with him because of certain advantages that he offered them – whatever those were – and not because they whole-heartedly agreed with him and his intentions.

"Yes," she said. "There still are. And even though, with Hao dead, their goal is now impossible to achieve, they still aren't on good terms with the…" she trailed off for a moment, unsure of what term to use, "…let's call it the good side." She could tell Anna wasn't particularly happy with it, for it probably sounded too childish for her taste, but she labeled that as unimportant.

As long as she got the main idea, it didn't really matter.

"The prestigious families of the Shaman World have always suffered more than the others because of this conflict, and your family was not the exception to this rule."

It seemed impossible, but as soon as those words were out of her mouth, the atmosphere in the room changed for the worse. Right in that instant, Anna knew she wasn't going to like what she was about to say. Her curiosity got the best of her, though, and she realized that she wouldn't dare to stop her, even if she could.

"These people…there people threatened to kill you, Anna." Her breath was literally knocked out of her lungs as those words registered in her brain; her frown deepened and her eyes were flooded with shock in a matter of seconds. "They even went as far as _trying_ to kill you, despite the fact that you were only five years old at that time."

Not that she would ever admit it to anybody, but the blonde had no idea what Kino was talking about and, truth to be told, it was starting to freak her out. She searched her brain over, trying to find the slightest evidence that would verify the woman's words, but she found none. How was that even possible, she didn't know.

And yet, despite all that, there was something inside her that managed to anticipate her next words, just as it had done before. "At that point, your father did the only thing he could have done: he left you. He brought you here, to us. It was the only way you would have been safe."

Strange as it may seem (considering the fact that this is Anna we're talking about), the blonde was totally oblivious to the valuable piece of information she had just been given, as her ears seemed to have only managed to pick up two words: _your father._

Despite the fact that she was still troubled by what Kino had told her earlier, up until now, things had been rather easy to handle, for the woman had only given her basic, vague information about her family – information that didn't have any kind of effect on her. But now things had gotten personal – too personal for her to know how to react to them.

Although she had always known this conversation would get to a point when Kino would finally clear things up regarding her abandonment, she had a feeling she _still_ wasn't prepared to hear it. And she was unable to keep herself from snapping at her master. "Are you trying to tell me that I had a family all along? That they loved me? That all they wanted was to protect me?"

It seemed almost unbelievable. Not even an hour ago, she was thinking about how much she and the Munzer brothers were alike when it came to their family issues, to their life stories, and now she was here, sitting at a table facing her mentor, facing the woman she had trusted with all her heart, demanding for explanations, demanding to know more about…about _her_ family.

_Family_…that word felt so good, even when it just crossed her mind. Her parents didn't hate her. They didn't leave her because they thought she was a monster. They didn't leave her because they didn't love her. Actually, they didn't even leave her for real. None of the things she knew about them were true. Her life was nothing as it seemed.

And to think Kino was probably just getting started… Whether she wanted or not, the blonde couldn't help but wonder just how many other secrets were going to be revealed tonight. She couldn't help but wonder if she wanted to hear all of them, in the first place. Because what had once been just a pessimistic feeling had now become reality; she now knew for sure that they would ruin everything she had learned to be the truth, everything she had learned to call 'her life'.

"Yes." Kino's answer only served to confirm her thoughts. "Your parents loved you – a lot. They still do." With a sigh, she stood up and walked towards a nearby piece of furniture; she pulled a small, purple box from one of the shelves and then made her way back to the table, placing the box on it and retaking her seat as she did so.

"The only reason why they left was because you were in danger – you _still_ are," she said. "Ever since the Shaman Tournament has started, danger is already all around us, so you may have not realized it yet. But now it's always over. A new Shaman King will be chosen soon – if not has already been chosen. And with this obstacle out of the way, I can assure you that these people will start looking for you again. Knowing them, they won't stop until they have found you."

She paused for a moment, unsure of how to bring this up, then continued: "That's why I'm telling you this now – because I want you to be aware of the fact that you're not safe. That you need to protect yourself and allow _others_ to protect you."

The blonde didn't like the sounds of that, she knew. Having always been such an independent person, Anna was having trouble letting others take care of her (and that included doing her favors and things like that). She had never, _ever_ asked for anything, even though she must have been aware of the fact that none of the Asakuras would ever say no to her.

With the bank account her father had provided her with, she could have bought anything, could have traveled anywhere, could have done basically everything she wanted to, could have obtained everything she wished for. But she never did. All it was ever used for was clothes or other kind of necessities.

And sure, she didn't know it was her father's money that she was spending, but Kino had a feeling that, even if she _did_ know, things wouldn't have changed.

Because Anna's opinion went like this: if she wanted to buy or do something that was not absolutely necessary or vital in any way, she would have to do it with her own money. Supposedly, that was the only money she had the right to spend as she wished. Same went for the protection matter. The way she saw it, the only person she could rely on was herself.

And that was probably the worst concept one could have when involved in a situation like this.

"Your parents did everything in their power to ensure that you would remain safe for as long as possible," she continued and, to prove her point, handed her a piece of paper that had previously been lying on top of the box. She waited until her apprentice's blue eyes raised to meet hers, a questioning glint in them, before explaining: "Your real name is not Anna."

To say that she was shocked would be an understatement; words couldn't even begin to describe what she was feeling at that point – there was shock, hurt, confusion and a bunch of other emotions she couldn't even identify. And they were all mixed up in a way that truly made her wonder whether she would _ever_ be able to make some sense of them.

Her real name was not Anna? Then this meant that… Frowning, she looked down at the paper in her hands, letting her eyes scan it once more.

The blonde had no idea why things seemed to make more sense now, after Kino had uttered those six words, but they did. Only now did she realize that what she was holding in her hands was not a random piece of paper, but her birth certificate.

_Annalise Kaitlyn Kyoyama. Born on January 14, 1986, at San Francisco, CA.  
Name of father: Anthony Kyoyama  
Name of mother: Lindsee Kyoyama_

Trembling, she placed the document on the table and brought one of her hands up to run through her hair, her mind racing. How was this even possible? How was Kino – and the entire Asakura family, at that – able to keep such a secret for so long?

Because finding out that her parents' reasons for leaving her were totally different from what she'd imagined was one thing; being told – and proven, no less – that even her identity was a lie, nothing more than some kind of cover up story, was another. And it hurt much more than she ever thought possible.

"Everybody called you Anna, though," the woman continued, attracting her attention. "That's why your father chose it."

"Chose it for what?" she asked, not even bothering to keep her frustration out of her voice. "What are you talking about?"

"Going by your real name would have been too dangerous, even with this remote location and you having no idea who you truly were," she explained. "To be honest, I had wanted to change your name completely. But your father refused – he said that, despite the fact that he wouldn't be able to raise like he should, you were still his daughter, still his Anna, still a Kyoyama."

She paused for a moment, silently contemplating what her next move should be, before sighing quietly and pushing the little purple box towards Anna. "Inside, you will find all proof you might need," she said. "I'd prefer you didn't open it right now, though. I still have a lot of things to tell you and spending half of the night here isn't an option."

The blonde seemed to have not heard her. "What's in here?" she asked, her voice soft and quiet, as her hands touched the top of the box lightly.

"To be honest, I don't really know," Kino answered sincerely. "Your father left it for you, so it wasn't my business to look through it."

At the mention of her father, Anna's head snapped up in shock. "You mean, he knew about this?" she asked, almost incredulously.

To her, it was almost unbelievable and seemed downright impossible – what kind of parent would agree to something like that? What kind of parent would let someone else talk to his child about such a delicate matter, when he could just as easily do it himself?

After all, the truth was already out, anyway – would it have really made a different if it hadn't been Kino who told her all this? _Yes_. Yes, it would have – but for the better, not the worse.

"Did he know I would eventually find out?"

The old woman was blind, but she knew Anna like the back of her hand. She had heard the frustration and noticed the slight trembling of her voice – and she knew exactly where that would lead them. "Don't you dare break down right now," she warned in a stern voice, knowing that she couldn't allow something like this to happen. "Don't cry, you hear me?"

"I'm not crying!" the blonde replied, angrily running her hands through her blonde locks and gripping them tightly, as if searching for something to anchor herself to, something to bring her back to reality and keep her there. "Just answer my questions, damn it!" she snapped, unable to stop herself.

"Watch your language, Anna!" the woman scolded, almost shocked with the way she was acting. "What's the matter with you? I thought you were stronger than this!"

She could definitely see where she was coming from, yes, but she had never seen her lose control like this. And not that she had a problem with it – after all, Anna was only human, no matter how cold and uncaring she might seem sometimes – but it was the last thing they needed at that point.

"How can you ask me to be strong when you're telling me that my life has been built on a big, fat lie, huh?" But it seemed like Anna would have none of that. "How can you ask me to be strong when everything is tumbling down in front of me and I can't do a damn thing to stop it?"

"Anna, I know it's hard, but – " she tried to interrupt, only to have her cut her off.

"You know nothing!" she hissed before she could stop herself. This wasn't like her, she knew. She had never disrespected Kino in any way (and that included yelling, hissing, defying and all those other things she was doing right now); the fact that she now found herself simply unable to stop was not a good thing at all.

She'd once read in one of those old psychology books she was so fond of, that people tended to feel a lot better after they cried or talked about their problems – whether that meant screaming, fighting with someone over it, or simply having a normal conversation with a random person. Only now did she realize just how right the authors of those books were.

Because, for some reason or another, she felt somewhat better with each and every word that came out of her mouth.

"You don't know how it's like to live all your life thinking that your parents have ditched you like yesterday's old newspaper! You don't know how it's like to have to tell yourself every day that it's alright, that you don't really need them. And you certainly don't know how it's like to find out one random day that all that's a lie, that all they ever did was _love_ you!"

In the back of her mind, Kino had always known that, sooner or later, something like this would happen and that she had no way or preventing it. Unfortunately, though, she did not know how to deal with it. "Maybe I don't," she answered. "But that doesn't give you the right to release your frustration on me."

"I'm not," the blonde replied, her resolve breaking at the sound of her mentor's soft, understanding voice. She had a feeling she had never received this kind of treatment from her. "I'm not," she repeated. "I just…I just can't understand any of this… Why can't I remember anything?" she asked, a small frown forming on her features, as she looked up at the woman in front of her.

To be honest, that question had been bothering her for a while; she truly didn't know why she was only voicing it now – perhaps the timing felt right? She didn't know. Regardless, it had been on her mind ever since she managed to make the connection between the picture Redseb had found and the information Kino had provided her with.

Because the girl in the picture looked about five, almost six years old, and as far as she knew, everybody had memories from that age, no matter how vague and incomplete they might be.

She, on the other hand, didn't. So how was that possible? It was a simple question – as simple as it could ever get. Judging by the look on Kino's face, though, Anna immediately realized that the answer wasn't as banal as she had imagined. No, just like everything else she had learned about today, it was twisted and complicated.

It was a while until Kino finally spoke, and when she did, her words were far from what the blonde had expected. "The situation was complicated – complicated and very dangerous. Your father was terrified of these people hurting you, but he was also worried you wouldn't be able to understand his decision – which, at that point, really _was_ impossible – and that you would suffer. Because of his absence, because of the confusion you would have undoubtedly felt…" she trailed off for a moment, sighing quietly, yet heavily.

"There were many other factors that influenced the decision he eventually made, but I can assure you that they all revolved around you – around your safety, your well-being, your happiness."

Anna knew for sure that her mentor wasn't one to beat around the bush, no matter the situation, so her small speech only succeeded in freaking her out, in making her wonder just how much more there was to this story. The only thing she was sure of was that she wouldn't like it – at all.

"The reason why I'm telling you all this is that I need to make sure you understand the complexity of the situation. Because if not, there is just no way you could see this clearly, rationally."

Scratch 'freak her out' – it was beginning to scare the hell out of her. "What…what did you do?" she asked in a small voice, almost fearfully, as if aware of the fact that her mentor's next words would change everything.

"I…" Kino started, but ended up trailing off, unable (probably for the first time in her life) to find the right words. She remained quiet for a few more moments, before clearing her throat and finally confessing: "I made sure you couldn't remember anything, Anna."

Her breath was literally knocked out of her lungs as her words reached her ears, and she gasped, not even bothering with concealing her shock.

Her whole life had been slowly tumbling down ever since she entered this room; the things she had known to be real, to be true, turned out to be just lies, lies which, when put together, formed one big cover-up story that was supposedly meant to protect her. _Alright_. She could probably handle that – once everything had settled down and she was able to think clearly, that is.

But finding out that they had messed with her mind, too? That they had taken away her memories, her most precious things? No, that was too much. They had gone too far.

"Sorry, what?" But maybe she had just heard her wrong…?

Kino sighed. "In order to make this less dangerous and less painful for you, we decided to…"

"To erase my memories?" the girl cut her off, her voice rising to a point it almost sounded like a shriek.

"Block them," she corrected, not quite liking the term her apprentice had used. After all, she only used her powers to ensure that Anna would not remember anything about her 'real life' at an inappropriate time; she did not erase anything – she could have never done such a thing, even if she had _wanted_ to.

The blonde frowned deeply, finding herself, for the umpteenth time today, to understand what Kino was telling her. "But…but why?"

Yes, that was the question: why? Why was that necessary? Why hadn't they told her the truth from the very beginning? That would have definitely not endangered her in any way, would it? She believed it wouldn't have – after all, it wasn't like she would have gone around telling everyone who she was and what had happened to her.

"Because you would have suffered," Kino stated.

"More than I did upon finding out that my parents had 'left me'? More than I do now?" she asked incredulously, staring at the woman in front of her with shocked-filled, deep blue eyes.

Kino nodded. "You were just a child back then, Anna," she explained. "You could have never understood something of this magnitude, no matter how smart you were. Your mind could have never wrapped around the idea that your family had left you, even if you'd known that it had been for your own good. And you would have suffered…a lot.

"Blocking your memories and making you believe that your family had abandoned you…it made you stronger, more independent. Not to mention the fact that it helped you focus of the present and future – not on your past, like you would have done if you still had your memories. In other words, it helped form the person you are today." She paused for a moment. "I'm not saying it was the best choice, for I'm not entitled to make such statements. But it has definitely helped you."

"It has definitely helped me," the blonde repeated after a few moments of silence, nodding to herself as realization hit her. "It has helped changing me, turning me into this person I am now. It has helped _you_ raise me just the way you wanted to. It has helped _you_ make me the perfect bride for your grandson, for the future Shaman King. Hasn't it, Kino?"

It barely registered into her mind that this was the first time ever that she addressed her mentor without using the honorific. At this point, it didn't actually matter.

Because she now knew why she had never felt like she knew herself well enough. Why there had always been times when she found herself wondering why she did this or that. Why she had always been insecure, even though she had never showed it to anybody. Why she had sometimes felt uncomfortable with herself, with the things she did or said. Why everything about her person had always seemed incredibly unfamiliar. It was simply because this Anna everybody knew was not her – _not the real Annalise_.

And maybe it was wrong of her to blame it all on Kino (given the fact that the woman had made it clear that she had taken the decision along with her father), but she couldn't find a way to stop herself. There were two options: either she needed someone to accuse, or she was simply much too confused to think clearly. Both of them could be correct – it wouldn't change a thing.

"It has," Kino answered, having no problem at all with admitting it. "But it was all for the best, Anna."

_All for the best…_ Try as she might, she just couldn't understand the meaning of those words. Sure, she was alive. And sure, she was safe. Sure, she had lived without worries and had always been under the protection of the Asakura family – be that Kino's, Yoh's or even Mikihisa's. But she now found herself wondering…was it worth it? Was this relative safety (because she had been through her fair share of dangerous situations) worth being away from her family, from her, dare she say, loving parents? Was it worth turning into another person, living someone else's life?

She believed not. And, at this point, she highly doubted anything could make her change her mind about it. "Will I…will I ever remember?" she asked, her voice soft and quiet. "Will I ever have a chance to get my old life back?"

Unfortunately, Kino's answer didn't offer her much hope on the matter. "I don't know."

–

–

–

_A/N: Sorry for the long wait, guys! I was super busy with school and all that; getting in the mood for writing was simply impossible and I didn't want to post a crappy chapter just for the sake of updating quickly. Summer vacation is almost here, though, so I promise you won't have to wait this long for a chapter again._

_That being said, I'll begin to ramble now…_

_1. Wondering what's up with Anna's name? Well, I thought it would be interesting to add something like this to the story. It's just one more detail that covers what really happened to her. Besides, I've always wanted her to have a full name. I chose 'Kaitlyn' because it sounded all American (to me, anyway) and because I thought it might suit her. _

_Then I started developing the idea of having 'Anna' coming from a bigger name. I didn't want it to be Japanese in any sense; I didn't want it to be common, either. I wanted something sophisticated, something that would show that there's more to her than an abandoned child. So, after hours spent searching for the perfect name, I came across 'Annalise', and I instantly fell in love with it. _

_Then I chose her parents' names according to hers. It's much like how Hana's name was formed: **An**thony and **Li**nd**se**e = **Annalise.** Yeah, I'm obsessed with details. Ignore me when it comes to this._

_2. As you probably already realized, Anna still has her Reishi in this version of the story. (Cause I realized that I could connect it to something else, yeah). So why didn't she read Kino's mind instead of standing there and waiting for her to talk? Because she respected her. Because Kino could stop her from doing so (I mean, if the Taos can do something like this, why couldn't she?). And because it would have been way too hard – and not interesting at all – to write such a scenario._

_3. I have no idea how the birth certificates look in Japan or in US or any other country. I tried to find a model on Google, but all it came up with was some copies of president Obama's birth certificate. And they all had so many things written on it and seemed so complicated, that I eventually gave up and decided to write only the essentials – the child's and her parents' names. _

_4. Do they make us wear heels in school? Not in the high-school I'm studying at (and thank God for that). But we do have a school which does. Truth to be told, I don't know if the heels are actually compulsory and stuff, but it seems to me like they're the only kind of shoes that go well with the uniform the students have. _

_5. Does Anna still have a brother in this story? Yes, of course. And he'll play a huge role later on. _

_Umm, many of you already know this, but for those who don't: I have a blog, which I use for ramblings and teasers and stuff. So if you want to know what's gonna happen in the next chapter (or if you simply want to check on me, make sure that I'm still alive, when, for some reason, I can't update quickly enough), check it out! _

_And now, I wanna know your opinion on this chapter really, really badly. So, review, please!_

_P.S. Special thanks to **carameL**, **asakura yohanna**, **elpatolocosisi**, **yehey** and **.Fashion Monster.** for reviewing the last chapter!_


	4. The Box

–

**When the chips are down,**

**And it seems like it's so hard for you to move ahead,**

**Just know that I'm by your side**

**There ain't no ifs, buts and maybes,**

**I'm gonna stay down and ride for you, baby.**

—"_Ride for You" by Danity Kane_

–

"And this is the newest member of our gang," Pirika explained enthusiastically as she held forward a rather small kitten, a huge grin plastered on her face.

The furry creature stood tall and proud in her hands, regarding the group of three in front of it with a curious expression. Its fur was all a very light brown, with the exception of its ears, tail, paws and nose, whose color was a dark chocolate brown; its wide eyes, the most striking part of its aspect, were a deep shade of blue.

Ren and Yoh exchanged knowing looks, seeming to agree on something that was better left unspoken for now, but the latter extended his hands towards the kitten, silently signalizing for the girl to give it to him, nonetheless. However, things weren't exactly left unsaid for long, as Horo-Horo voiced them only a few moments later.

"Anna knows, right?" he asked slowly, almost hesitantly, as if afraid of the possible answer.

True, he hadn't seen the blonde in question for two long years, but that didn't mean he had forgotten how violent she could get when provoked – and how she had a tendency of letting her anger out on everybody within a mile's radius, at that. And, really, he wasn't sure a _kitten_ was on her list of favorite things.

"Poor guy," Ren mocked, not having the slightest intention of letting such an opportunity slide. "You really are traumatized, aren't you?"

As expected, Horo-Horo reacted in an instant. "Why you – " He tried to curse, but his sister cut him off before he had a chance to.

"Guys!" she exclaimed, annoyed at how they still seemed to have the habit of picking up a fight out of everything. She had hoped they had matured – if only just a little. But it looked like that was too much to ask for. "Can't you get along for like, five minutes? You're like two little kids, I swear!"

"Hey!" her brother complained loudly, pointing an accusing finger at her. "Don't you dare try to change the subject!"

The Ainu rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm not trying to change the subject," she said. "As proof, I'll answer your question: no, Anna does _not_ know about it. Yet."

"Whaaat?" he exclaimed, shocked beyond limits. "Do you have a death wish or something?"

"Stop it!" she hissed, resisting the urge to smack him over the head. "Anna's not that bad." She sounded more like she was trying to convince herself, rather than her brother, but that wasn't because she was not sure of what she'd just said. Anna was not as mean and as evil as people thought; she could actually be quite nice when she wanted to.

The problem was, Pirika – just like her brother – didn't know whether she was very fond of pets. And if she were to choose, she would go for the second option – which wasn't good.

"Besides," she continued, in hopes that she would find something rational to hold on to, something that would ensure that the kitten wouldn't be sent back to where he came from the moment Anna's eyes landed on him. "I don't see why she'd have anything against him."

She paused for a moment, titling her head to the side as she carefully studied the kitten; it was curled comfortably in Yoh's lap, purring loudly as he stroked his head affectionately. "He kind of looks like her, actually," she concluded as she gazed deep into his blue eyes. "He could have been her brother in another life or something."

Upon hearing that, Yoh was unable to keep himself from laughing out loud. "Just don't tell her that when you're trying to convince her to let us keep him," he advised.

Not that he totally disagreed with her. Because Anna did have blue eyes and, contrary to popular belief, he knew she did like being held into his arms; and she was sassy and pretentious, always ready to get her claws out whenever she sensed danger. Not to mention how affectionate she could be when in a particular good mood – her _own_ kind of affectionate, of course.

God, how he missed her. It was almost unbelievable, really. At first, it hadn't been that hard to be away from her, seeing as he and Anna had never been the kind of couple that would be forever wrapped up in each other's arms, but, as time passed by, the need to see her – or at least hear her – became almost unbearable.

For the last few months, he'd done absolutely nothing else but think of her – how she was dong, whether she'd changed and to what degree, whether she'd let her hair grow, like she seemed to intend back then when they left, whether she spent at least half of the time he did thinking about him…

He'd even wanted to call her once, but then he changed his mind. The news he had to give her – the news she would undoubtedly ask for – were not suited to be given on the phone. Because, really, he'd rather have her hug him wordlessly than listen to her say: _"I always knew you could do it."_ He'd rather have both of those, actually.

Pirika's voice brought him back from his thoughts. "I was hoping you'd help us with that," she said.

"With what?" he asked, not quite understanding, at first, what she was talking about.

"With convincing her to let us keep him," she explained. "I mean, I would gladly try to do that, but I'm not sure about the outcome. With my luck, I'll probably catch her in a bad mood, and I don't wanna die so young. Neither does Tamao or Jun, for that matter."

Yoh grinned. "Or me," he added with a chuckle, even though he knew things weren't really as bad as she was making them seem.

"Oh, come on!" the Ainu exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "You're like, three times bigger than her. She can't do anything to you, I assure you."

"Nah," Ren joined the conversation, sarcasm tainting his words. "She can only kill him – that's all." Upon hearing that, Pirika scoffed and rolled her eyes, but decided not to keep arguing on the matter, therefore giving him the chance to speak again. "Regardless, I don't understand what you're still doing here, Yoh," he said.

Said boy frowned in confusion. "What do you mean? This is where I live, Ren. Where else was I supposed to be?"

"In Izumo, you idiot," he replied, rolling his eyes. "It's been impossible to talk to you ever since we left Patch Village – and we all know why."

"Yeah," Jun spoke, nodding in agreement. "So why don't you just go to her already? I bet she's dying to see you."

"Guys, don't do this to him," Tamao interfered, knowing that, if they kept this up, it wouldn't be long until Yoh gave in. Obviously, he missed the blonde, so the idea of going to her surely sounded appealing to him. But she had a feeling Anna would rather see him in one piece. "It's practically a snow storm out there. He can't drive all the way to Izumo in such conditions."

Knowing that she was right, Yoh opened his mouth to speak, to tell his friends that he would rather wait until she came back and surprise her somehow, but a strong wave of something – a feeling he couldn't quite explain – washed over him before any sound could come out. It was a mixture of pain and confusion, and a name he knew all too well tagged along – _Anna._

Something was wrong. Something was wrong and she needed him. Compared to that, who the hell cared about snowy roads and what not?

He made up his mind in an instant. "No, they're right," he said, standing up. "I'll go."

At the mention of his decision, there were different reactions from his group of friends – some of them sided with Tamao and insisted that he was crazy, while others proceeded with teasing him about his relationship with the blonde – but he waved all of them off and made his way out of the room as soon as possible.

Outside, the layer of snow had doubled since they arrived; it was dark and snowflakes were still falling heavily from the starless sky. Tamao had been right – these weren't the best conditions to drive in. But he couldn't bring himself to care; he needed to get to Izumo and see his fiancée – he needed to make sure that she was alright. The rest were purely details.

"Are you sure you want to leave, Master Yoh?" Amidamaru asked worriedly as he materialized next to him.

"Yeah," he answered confidently. "I'll be fine. I _have_ to go there."

The spirit smiled lightly. "You miss her that much, huh?" he inquired, though he already knew the answer to that question.

"Of course I do. You know that better than anyone. But it's not only that," he confessed. "I don't know why, but I have a feeling she needs me."

–

–

–

Anna sat on the bed in her old room, staring at the little, purple box in front of her, but not quite daring to touch it.

Truth to be told, she was rather curious about what it might contain, but at the same time, she was also slightly scared. More than enough information had been revealed to her in less than two hours and she had yet to process all of it; she was genuinely afraid of what other secrets would be waiting for her once she opened the box.

She briefly considered putting it aside and going through it the next day. A few good hours of sleep would undoubtedly do her good; maybe when she woke up, she would see this situation in a different light, would be able to understand everything a lot better. But it didn't take long for her to realize that, with all the thoughts that were currently swimming through her mind, falling asleep would be an impossible task. So she decided to put the tough act back on and get it over with. After all, she was Kyoyama Anna. She didn't get intimidated by a freaking box!

With that thought in mind, she reached out and brought it closer to her, swiftly lifting the top and throwing it aside. There were several items inside, including an envelope and what seemed to be a couple of photos, but what caught her eye first was a much smaller, transparent, crystal box, with a bow on top; she remembered having seen something like this before, when Jun had dragged her to Tiffany's to supposedly help her with choosing a Christmas present for her mother.

She couldn't tell what was inside, though, so she carefully opened it, involuntary gasping as she laid eyes on its contents – a clearly platinum bracelet with seven round diamonds scattered at regular intervals on it. _'This thing must have cost a fortune,'_ was the first thing that came to her mind once the shock vanished from her system.

Sure, she was well aware of the fact that her family was rich, as Kino had made it clear that it was one of the most prestigious families of the Shaman World, but she was still having trouble believing it. Perhaps it was because she had never felt particularly wealthy.

Don't get me wrong, she had always had everything she wanted when it came to material stuff, but the truth was, she had never wanted much, in the first place.

For all her life, she'd believed herself to be an orphan, she'd thought that the Asakura family was the one providing her with money, so she had always been careful not to overstep, not to wish for more than she could have. The last thing she wanted was to take advantage of how good they were treating her and disappointment was a feeling she wasn't particularly fond of.

She was a rational person – maybe a lot more rational than her age should permit – and, therefore, her life had been built on rational things, too.

Sure, there were dreams, and sure, most of them had much to do with money, but they were the kind of dreams that were, in a sense, actually plans for the future – things that she could achieve by herself, using only the resources she had. But it seemed like those resources included far more money than she had thought until now.

That, she realized when she put the little box aside and turned her attention to the other item – the envelope.

At first, she had thought that it would contain a letter or something akin to that. (It is probably safe to say that she had hoped so, even though she would never admit it). But what she found was a shiny credit card and a bunch of papers that explicitly said that it had an unlimited line of credit.

Which, honestly speaking, was most likely the best thing that had happened to her that day. That wasn't because of the standard reason, though; the fact that her parents, even though they had been forced to leave her, cared for her enough to give her that, mattered more to her than all the money in the world.

Releasing a quiet sigh, she turned her attention to the remaining items in the box – the pictures. Just like the one Redseb had found, they looked rather old, but were in good state.

The little girl – her younger version – appeared in both of them: in the first, hugging a Golden Retriever that was about three times her size, and in the second, along with a brown-haired boy who seemed to be around her age. The picture was taken in a car, as they were both sitting in the backseat, glaring at each other for some reason she couldn't truly understand.

Anna's hand slowly traced the outline of the figures; for a moment, she could have sworn she'd seen them moving, but then she realized it was just her imagination. She wondered who that boy could be, and her inability of finding an answer to her own question caused another wave of frustration and annoyance to wash over her entire being.

This was about her life, damn it! Even though she might not know exactly what had made her parents take the decision of leaving her, she should at least be able to recognize the members of her family, her old friends and the people she once used to know.

But she didn't. And, really, she was not sure for how much longer she would be able to stand this situation – stand being so confused, so frustrated, so insecure, so utterly hopeless.

Her whole life was in pieces – a complete mess, consisting of only small periods of time, at the end of which everything changed drastically. Come to think about it, she seemed to have had a happy childhood, after which her parents were forced to leave her with the Asakuras; then came the period in which she was trained by Kino, followed by the one in which she left to live with Yoh, in Tokyo, the first Shaman Tournament, the time he had killed Hao…well, basically all that had happened until the present time. But everything was so wrong, so out of place…

The gravity of the situation was only now settling in. She couldn't even remember the last time she had felt so much pain; actually, she couldn't even remember the last time she had simply felt so much – the last time she had allowed such intense emotions to course through her veins. Aside from the loneliness that had always been there and the empty hole in her heart, she had denied every other feeling that crept inside her. Because she had been taught that feelings meant weakness and because she fully agreed with Kino when it came to that.

As frustrating as it was, she now found herself unable to shut everything out, like she usually did. And she hated it when this happened – when she was totally out of control and so damn confused that her head was starting to hurt. It had only happened to her once before, but the experience had been intense enough to mark her; thankfully, though, it had a good part to it, as well – the fact that it provided her with the knowledge of how to cope with this kind of situations.

Standing up, the blonde made quick work of putting everything inside the box again, before closing it and placing it aside. She crossed the room and opened the closet, her eyes frantically searching for a change of clothes; she didn't live there, but she often visited, seeing as Kino seemed to be particularly interested in her training nowadays (which, now that she thought about it, could be because of another secret she had yet to tell her about), so she must have left behind some pants, a shirt, and maybe even a pair of shoes.

It didn't really matter – anything was better than the uncomfortable skirt and heels she had been wearing all day. At least when it came to this, luck seemed to be on her side, for she quickly located a pair of dark, skinny jeans and a comfortable-looking, oversized hoodie; it took her a bit longer to find a pair of sneakers, but she eventually did.

Then she got dressed, discarding her uniform in a heap on the floor, and grabbed her car keys, before quietly exiting the room, careful so that she wouldn't wake up anybody. She, once again, made her way through the maze of hallways, until she reached the kitchen – the backdoor proved to be really useful, especially since it represented a much quicker exit.

Outside, it was snowing heavily; she had barely taken two steps on the frozen path that led to the front yard, and her hair was already home to several big, fat snowflakes. The cold night air soothed her, helping immensely with her headache, and the wind played with her blonde locks, caressing her face. The nature was still, the surroundings were quiet.

That's why she loved taking walks in winter – everything was just so peaceful. But she knew that, in this particular situation, it would take more than that to calm the turmoil in her head.

Once she was out on the gates, she headed towards Jun's car, which was parked a few meters away, on the side of the road. She unlocked it and quickly slipped inside, but didn't make a move to start the engine; instead, she reached out and grabbed her backpack from the passenger's seat, hastily unzipping it and beginning to rummage through it.

"Come on," she muttered to herself, slightly annoyed, "I know I bought one last week. It has to be in here somewhere." And it was. Moments later, she finally found what she was looking for; clutching the nearly untouched pack of cigarettes in her hand, she threw the backpack in the backseat, and opened the glove box, from where she retrieved a lighter.

Then she proceeded with getting out of the car and locking it, before slowly beginning to walk away, though not before stopping and lighting one of the cigarettes. It was obviously a temporary solution – just a little something that helped her calm down, that kept her relaxed, but at the same time, focused and collected, until her walls rose around her and she was able to think coolly again. That was all there was to it – when she was not feeling like this, the idea of touching a cigarette sounded almost repulsing.

She first started smoking when the Munzer brothers made their appearance and informed her of how her fiancé was doing. The day after she returned from Izumo, she found herself alone in the Inn. She hadn't slept at all the night before, her mind was clouded with negative thoughts and worry was constantly attacking her system.

It wasn't long until she got to the conclusion that she simply couldn't take it anymore – she needed something to help her calm down. In her search for a sleeping table – or another kind of sedative that could be used to shut her brain off – she came across a pack of cigarettes. Jun never got to see it ever again.

At this point, though, she wasn't sure whether it was the smoke itself that calmed her or the psychological effect it had on her – the knowledge that it _should_ calm her. But it didn't matter.

She finished the cigarette quickly. Taking one last drag, she threw it on the ground and stepped on it, burying it into the think layer of snow beneath her feet. She was just about to reach down into her pocket and retrieve the pack, hell bent on smoking another one, when a bright light caught her attention.

Mainly out of curiosity, the Itako turned her head to look in the direction from where it came. Truth to be told, she was rather surprised when she saw the black car heading her way. Izumo was a quiet place, calm and peaceful; its inhabitants lived a rather simple life, so not many cars haunted its roads, especially at night. But then again, who knew whose car was that?

Anna shook her head and turned her attention back to her pack of cigarettes. It wasn't her business, anyway.

Turned out, it kind of was. That, she realized when the car suddenly came to a halt right next to her.

–

–

–

Lightening struck across the dark-grey sky, followed by the low, distant rumble of thunder. Big, heavy droplets of water fell from the ominous clouds, hitting the roof and windows with a surprising force, creating a loud, rhythmic sound.

A beautiful, blonde-haired woman stood in front of a window, her forehead pressed against the cold glass as she silently watched the storm unfold.

"The spirits are unsettled today," she remarked, her voice soft and quiet, without turning away from the outside scenery.

"That's strange," her husband commented from beside her, though his attention remained focused on the computer in front of him. "It's usually calm around here."

The woman sighed. "Yeah," she murmured, "Usually."

"It's probably just the storm, honey," he told her. "You have nothing to worry about, I assure you."

"It's not the storm, Anthony!" she exclaimed, annoyed at how he brushed it off so easily. "It's something else…it's…" she trailed off, unable to find the words that would explain what she was feeling at this point. In the end, she gave up and resumed at telling him the one thing she was certain of: "I can't stop thinking about her."

He didn't need to ask who 'her' was – they both knew perfectly well. And it was enough to make his shut his laptop and turn his chair around so that he was facing her.

"Me neither," he admitted with a sigh, knowing there was no point in hiding it from her anymore. "Come here," he encouraged as he extended one of his hands towards her, an offer she couldn't pass up. She closed the small distance between them and sat on his lap, cuddling close to him.

Instantly, his arms came to wrap around her. "Do you think she has found out?" he inquired quietly, his lips pressed against her curly hair.

"I don't know," she answered, a little hesitant. "She's been gone for so long… Even if she did find out, why would the spirits be unsettled because of it?"

"She's still a Kyoyama," he pointed out. "No matter how far away she is, that won't change."

Not knowing how to answer, Lindsee only shrugged and buried her head into the crook of his neck, relishing in the sense of comfort and security his embrace offered her.

"You know," she spoke after a few moments of silence, "sometimes I wonder if it's normal for me to miss her so much. She's practically a woman now and I haven't been a part of her life since she was like, what? – five." She paused for a moment, drawing in a shuddering breath. "What kind of mother am I?"

"The kind of mother that is ready to do anything in order to keep her child safe," her husband replied firmly. "We're not bad parents."

"Right," she scoffed, pulling away from him. "We're not parents at all."

Anthony smirked. "It seems to me like you're forgetting something…" he reminded her, resisting the urge to laugh as she scowled at him.

"I'm not forgetting anything," she said, rolling her eyes. "Chris…he's never home. He's always off with his friends, doing God-knows-what. The only times when I get to act like a real mother to him is when I feed him – and that's only because he's totally hopeless in the kitchen."

"You think we're giving him too much freedom?" he asked seriously, tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear.

"No, of course not!" she exclaimed. "He's turning eighteen in a few months – we can't control him like that anymore. And I don't want to. It doesn't bother me that he spends more time with his friends than he does with us. If only someone could assure us that they were safe…" she trailed off for a moment, then shook her head. "But no one can – that's the problem."

"It's not your fault, Li," he said, gently cupping her cheek with his hand.

"I know," she replied. "But I want this to be over."

"It will," he assured her. "They've already chosen the new Shaman King. Maybe this kid will make a difference."

"I hope so. Because I want my daughter back. And I'm ready to do anything in order to get her."

–

–

–

_It was him. _

Those were most probably the only three words that were running through her mind at that point. It was him. It was Yoh – her Yoh.

He had changed, of course. He was taller and more muscular, though he still had that lean, slender built. His hair was messier than it used to be and his features seemed more mature – he looked more like a man than a boy now.

The fact that he had a car only served to prove that his appearance wasn't the only thing that had gone through some changes over the years; after all, if he was now able to drive (with a license, of course, because she was the only 'special case' around) meant that he wasn't as lazy as he used to be, right? Probably. But it didn't actually matter – at least not at that point.

Because he was there. He was alive, in once piece, and, by the looks of it, back home. He was right in front of her, his warm, chocolate-brown eyes shining with happiness and his stupid, signature grin – that special one he had plastered on his face whenever he caught sight of her – in its place.

And she was unable to stop herself from running to him and throwing herself into his arms.

She knew it was way out of character for her to do something like that, but she just couldn't bring herself to care. He was there and that was all that mattered.

Wrapped up in his arms, able to feel the warmth his body gave off, feeling safe, protected, at home and truly content for the first time in so long…it was too much – almost overwhelming, in a sense. But the good kind of overwhelming, the kind she wouldn't have a problem with feeling every single second of every single day.

Not even the issue with her family seemed as important as it did minutes ago. With him there, she knew everything would be alright, and that wasn't necessarily because she found this specific phrase of his particularly reassuring. It was because she knew _he_ would make it alright – she knew he would do anything in his power to make her happy, no matter what that would entail. So if she told him right now to find a way to clear the confusion that had clouded her mind, he would do it – of that, she was absolutely sure.

She would never ask anything like that of him, of course. But the simple thought that there was someone out there who really did love her and trust her, someone who would never lie or hide things from her, someone who would never play with her feelings, with her life the way others had done, made her feel immensely better.

Add here the fact that that someone was actually there, keeping her close to his protective figure…

It was almost unbelievable, wasn't it, how he always seemed to appear right when she needed him the most.

And that's the exact moment Anna realized that she could never, ever live without him.

–

–

–

_A/N: Sorry for the long wait, guys. The next update will be faster, I promise; and since I already have a good part of chapter five written, I can say I'll keep my promise, for once. _

_Today's ramblings sound like this:_

_1. My mom says I love animals more than people. It might be true. That being said, you will never, ever get to see me referring to an animal by using 'it'. _

_2. I know, I know. Anna would never smoke, no matter what, so I kind of made her a little OOC there. But as I was writing the chapter, I started wondering: how does she deal with problems? I mean, she never speaks to anybody about them, never cries or does any of the things other people do in order to relieve some stress. I also wanted to find a way to emphasize just how much this affected her and to make sure that whatever I found could be used in the future for a certain something. All in all, I just couldn't say no when the idea popped into my head. _

_3. Will I write about Yoh's feelings towards killing his brother? Yup, I do have such a scene planned, exactly because it will be something that would affect his relationship with Anna. Although I won't focus solely on that… but it will be mentioned, no doubt about that._

_Check my blog for teasers and updates on how things are going. Also, I have posted a picture of the bracelet and the box Anna has found on Flickr. The links are on my profile. _

_The action and the Yoh x Anna scenes will start next chapter. I have a tendency of writing faster when I get enough feedback, so review!_

_P.S. Special thanks to **elpatolocosisi**, **yehey**, **carameL**, **cm21**, **asakura yohanna**, **Asaka** and **.Fashion Monster. **for reviewing the last chapter!_


	5. Home

–

**I just wanna feel I belong,**

**I just need the strength to be strong,**

**Show me a way, would you show me a way?**

—_"Is Anybody Listening" by Danity Kane_

–

He couldn't believe how much she had changed. It was almost as if a totally different person was standing – or rather _had_ been standing – in front of him.

She was taller, thinner, her body perfectly proportioned; her hair was a lot longer than it used to be, reaching down to her mid-back, and what he remembered to have once been a dark golden blonde was now much lighter. He noticed something different about her facial features, too, but he couldn't really put his finger on it right now. Hell, even the type of clothing she chose to wear seemed to have changed.

But he could tell her by her eyes – by those deep blue eyes he had fallen in love with.

It shocked him when she suddenly launched herself at him, even though he couldn't say he _hadn't_ seen the utter relief that had flashed across her face as soon as her eyes fell on him. Not that anybody could blame him – usually, he was the one who initiated this kind of actions, no matter the nature of the situation they happened to find themselves in.

Regardless, it didn't bother him at all – he actually kind of liked it. Because, besides the joy he found in the fact that she'd actually hugged him without him having to beg for it, this sudden action of hers also provided him with something else: the knowledge of how much she'd missed him, of how worried she'd been about him.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like he particularly enjoyed the thought of her staying up late at night, unable to sleep because of him and the turmoil he'd caused in her head (because he knew that, in her case, that was the only way her worry – or any other feeling, for that matter – materialized), but it was nice to be proven, every once in a while, that Kyoyama Anna was most definitely _not_ an Ice Queen, that, despite popular belief, she _did_ have feelings, and that, even though she never showed it openly, she loved him with all her heart.

And Yoh was certain that, if anybody saw them now – saw the way her head had unconsciously buried itself into his chest, the way her tiny hands were clutching at the back of his shirt, the way she was practically _clinging_ to him – they would instantly realize just how deep, how genuine and how strong her feelings for him were. And vice-versa, of course, since his hold on her was probably doing nothing to hide the desperation he was feeling, the desperation he was hugging her with, as if he wanted to never let her go, to keep her there forever.

Wrapped up in his arms, she seemed much smaller than he had initially estimated; he didn't know whether that was because of the way she was currently curled up into him, but he had a feeling she would barely reach his chin if she lifted her head up. And God, was she frail – at least when compared to him, of course.

Though he believed she could still punch the hell out of him if she wanted to.

For some reason or another, that thought made him chuckle, and she pulled back to look at him, a questioning look in her eyes. It didn't last for long, though, for it was soon replaced by something akin to curiosity – curiosity and fondness, if that didn't mean crossing the line with his assumptions.

Her deep blue eyes ranked over his features, just as his did over hers, both trying to take in the subtle changes that had occurred over the years they'd been apart. It was a quiet, but meaningful moment, in which words were not needed, like so many others they used to share.

Yoh had always loved those times, seeing as it was only then that she allowed him to study her features thoroughly, to look into her eyes as much as he pleased, to stare at her all he wanted; it was only then that he could focus solely on her, that he could pretend the world around them didn't actually exist; it was only then that he could freely contemplate just how beautiful she was and how lucky he was to have her without having to worry about her reading his mind and slapping him for it.

Because he knew that, in those moments, she was just as captivated as he was; in those moments, she didn't need to read his thoughts, for she could see them all reflected in his eyes, along with his feelings. And she loved that – he just knew she did, despite the fact that she had never even mentioned it to him.

Usually, it was one of his friends that destroyed the magic of the moment – which resulted in them getting their asses kicked – but today, it was him who did so.

Don't get me wrong, it hadn't been his intention at all; even though he knew that was impossible, he had to admit he wouldn't have minded at all if they remained that way forever – for sure, Anna would have never done anything to pull away and neither would he.

The gesture was completely innocent and involuntary – he only reached out to tuck a stray lock of blonde her behind her ear, stopping for a moment to caress her cheek in the process. And that was all it took to snap her out of her daze and bring her back to the present.

The rather light – because he knew she could do _so_ much better – hit to his chest he received only moments later told him that his feisty Anna was back and more than ready to give him an earful for all the worry he'd probably put her through – even though they both knew perfectly well that it wasn't his fault at the very least.

"You're an idiot," she stated, her voice just as soft and perfect as he remembered. "You didn't call, you didn't write, you didn't do _a_ _thing_ to contact any of us!" She paused for a moment, probably waiting for some sort of reaction from his part, and then added, quite bluntly: "And I hate you for that."

"I'm sorry," he replied in an instant, grinning, uncaring of the fact that he didn't really have anything to apologize for. Many of the things he did and said went by the formula: 'As long as it makes her happy, nothing else actually matters' and this was one of them. After all, saying those two words didn't hurt at all, so why be stubborn and argue with her?

"Yeah," she replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Cause that totally makes up for it."

Yoh grinned down at her as a particular thought popped into his head. "Does that mean you've missed me?"

"Don't be delusional," the blonde scoffed, rolling her eyes once more and pulling away from his embrace.

For some reason or another, it was only then that her clothing fully registered in his mind, and he frowned, not quite able to make connections and understand just what the hell she was doing out there, in the middle of the night, when it was snowing and freezing, clad in only a pair of jeans, sneakers, and a hoodie that looked about three times her size.

As much as he would have liked to, he was unable to keep from expressing his worry openly. "What are you doing out here? Aren't you cold?" He stepped forward as he said this, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and share his body heat with her, but she noticed his intentions and immediately took a step back, avoiding him.

"I'm fine," she answered as tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, looking down at her shoes.

Yoh's frown deepened as his mind registered the icy coldness of her voice. Had he done something wrong? Before he could question her on that matter, though, she changed the subject.

"Why are you here?" Her sentence sounded more like a demand than a question. "And where are your stupid friends?"

"They're home," he replied after a moment of slight hesitation, forcing himself to relax. "The girls told me you were here, so I came to see you," he further explained.

Upon hearing this, Anna raised her head to look at him, her gaze cold and penetrating. She studied his face for a moment, before speaking in a blunt, icy tone, "That was stupid."

Again, he felt a pang of painful confusion, and again, he barely resisted the urge to ask her just what the hell was wrong with her.

Fortunately, he knew (from personal experience) that he would promptly be rewarded with a slap if he dared to question her behavior, and he really didn't need this right now. Besides, this was Anna we're talking about, and she had always had these weird mood-swings going on – mood-swings that any other girl was entitled to have, but that seemed to be ten times worse in her case.

Why in the world he had expected things to be any different when he came back, he didn't know. It was obvious that she hadn't changed the slightest bit.

"I think we should go inside," he said after a few moments of silence, still concerned about her well-being. Maybe he was just being over-protective; maybe she really was fine, as she had said. But even so, he believed it was his job to take care of her. "It's late and cold. And you must be tired – the girls told me you just left earlier today." He paused for a moment and frowned as he remembered the current time, then corrected himself: "Well, yesterday."

Anna looked at him for a moment, as if silently contemplating his suggestion, before nodding slowly. "Yeah, I guess we could go inside."

Yoh gave a nod of his own, and then silently began to follow her as she turned around and began to walk towards the compound.

He decided not to let her know about the strange feeling he'd had earlier that day – it was way too soon for something like that. If he had guessed right and something really _was_ wrong, telling her would probably only serve to make her feel pressured. And he didn't want that. He was curious, yes, but he wanted her to tell him what had happened because she trusted him and because she knew he would do everything in his power to help her, not because he already knew about it and all she had to do was confirm his suspicions and give him more details.

Besides, it was pretty obvious that she was in no condition to hear about it. There were a million little things that could justify her behavior – like the changes that had inevitably occurred over the years, her inability to know how to handle this type of situations, or even his disappointment regarding the fact that she was still as cold as ever. They had been away from each other for so long, that he could very well be the one who was overreacting. Maybe she had been like this all along; maybe it was his memory of her that was softer than the real Anna.

But then again, maybe not. Maybe something really had happened to her. That thought made his heart clench painfully in his chest, but he knew it was a likely possibility.

Whatever the cause, though, Yoh knew there was only one thing he could do at this point: wait. Wait for her to get better and to talk to him, or wait for him to get used to her presence once more.

He was absolutely sure that Anna would never hide important things from him, and it was that knowledge that had always put him at ease; because, as long as she told him all about her problems, he could get down to business and solve them for her.

And she knew that. _He_ knew that. _Everybody_ knew that. He would do anything for her – anything. And this time would be no different. He would just have to wait and see.

The house was quiet when they entered it, but it wasn't like he had expected it to be any different. He had known, from the very first moment he'd made the decision of coming here, that no one would be awake by the time he arrived in Izumo. And although he missed his family quite a lot, he probably could have cared less about that.

As long as he got to see his fiancée, nothing else mattered. Because that was just Anna for him – his everything. Time hadn't changed that at all.

Silently, he walked her to her bedroom, relishing in the comfort her simple presence offered him. He was just beginning to contemplate the idea of stealing a kiss form her, no matter the painful consequences, when they arrived there. She made no move to actually enter the room, though. She took a hesitant step forward, but then abruptly stopped, her hand coming to rest on the doorway as she stared ahead of her. Even though he was much taller than her, Yoh couldn't tell what she was looking at, and he automatically frowned, finding himself unable to recall a time when he had seen Anna so…so vulnerable.

"Anna?" he spoke quietly, confused as to why she was just standing there, doing nothing. "Are you okay?"

His voice seemed to snap her out of her thoughts. "Yes." But her answer sounded more automatic than anything else, as if she hadn't even thought about it beforehand.

It occurred to him then that she had once been much more successful in hiding this kind of things from him.

Finally moving, she quickly walked into the room and grabbed a small, purple box from her nightstand; she seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then she crouched down and stuffed it under the bed, as if determined to never get it out of there. He briefly wondered whether it was that box that she had been staring at, but he didn't dare to question her on that matter.

She stood, unmoving for a moment, before bending down and picking up her discarded clothes and shoes from the floor. Then she turned to face him, her emotionless façade in its place. "I'm going home," she announced, her voice void of any emotion whatsoever.

"What?" was the only thing he could muster saying at that point, and that only after a few moments of heavy silence. "Anna, it's two in the morning. Aren't you tired?"

"No, I'm not," she answered. "I don't know why, but I can't sleep. I might as well do something productive with my time and drive home."

The brunet blinked, flabbergasted with her logic. "Anna, I came here because I wanted to see you, to spend some time with you, and you want to leave?" he asked in an almost incredulous tone, having serious trouble believing that the girl who stood in front of him now was truly the one he had left behind two years ago.

She only shrugged in response. "I planned on leaving early, anyway," she said. "School starts in a few hours and I can't afford to miss any classes. You can stay here, spend some time with your family, and we'll see each other later," she suggested, rather hastily, though it sounded more like an order to him.

"But Anna…you're a part of that family," he reminded her gently, hoping that she would realize just how silly she was being.

"You don't know what you're talking about," she whispered, more to herself than to him, shaking her head lightly.

And, suddenly, he felt like he'd had enough. "What wrong with you?" he blurted out, furrowing his eyebrows.

Despite her seemingly vulnerable mood, Anna's eyes flashed with annoyance as she heard that. "Why do you care?" she snapped icily, before pushing past him, no doubt intending on leaving.

However, Yoh reacted quickly and grabbed her upper arm, effectively halting her movements.

"Let me go!" she hissed, only a little shocked, making an obvious effort to keep her voice down and stop herself from hitting him. And even though, in the past, he would have been frightened and would have wanted nothing more than to run away, right now, he didn't even flinch as her harsh tone reached his ears.

Instead, he remained still, his hand still gripping her arm, his eyes locked with hers. When he spoke, his voice was calm and even, meant to show her that he had changed and that, when he well-being was involved, he couldn't care less about her stubbornness (and violent nature, for that matter). "We have to talk," he told her.

"Anything you have to tell me can wait," she retorted quickly, yanking her arm from his grip in one swift movement.

A small, sarcastic smile appeared on Yoh's features. _Of course_ she wouldn't give a damn about it anymore! What had he been thinking? "Now it can, can't it?" he asked sarcastically.

Anna glared at him. "What the hell do you want from me?" she spat.

Yoh pressed his lips together firmly in an effort to keep from telling her something he would regret later. It was almost incredible, the effect this girl had on him – ten minutes spent with her, and she was already sending anger through his system. His – Yoh Asakura's, the pacifist's – usual very calm system.

"You never asked who won the tournament, Anna," he said quietly, his eyes softening instantly upon seeing her shocked expression.

He didn't intend on boasting about his achievement; he wasn't that kind of person. But at this point, he would do _anything_ to keep her next to him.

"…You did it?" she breathed after a few long moments of silence, her eyes searching his.

Yoh smiled at her. "Of course I did it," he answered, his hand reaching out to tenderly brush against her cheek. She flinched, like she always did, but didn't make a move to pull away. "I promised, didn't I? And when did I ever disappoint you?"

There was something terribly wrong about the way her eyes watered when he said this. Anna was most definitely not what she seemed – despite her cold exterior, Yoh knew that her emotions were rather volatile. But he also knew that she had very rarely had trouble controlling them.

In a way, though, she had a right to slip up every now and then; after all, she was only human, and he was well aware of just how much effort she'd put into training him. But it was right because of that, that she had always been so confident in his abilities. She trusted him, no matter the fact that she kept denying it.

Surely, she'd known he would be able to win the tournament way before he had even realized he had a chance. So why was it that the inevitable news brought such a reaction out of her?

No, he told himself. The problem had to run deeper than just this.

But she was gone long before he could reach a conclusion, long before he could even start analyzing this situation properly.

Truth to be told, he had expected her to retreat. After all, she had never been fond of showing her emotions to the word, as she thought that was a sign of weakness.

What he had no expected was her to run out of the house without another word, without looking back, without even saying goodbye, completely ignoring all his attempts at making her stay.

Just what was going on with her?

–

–

–

Asakura Mikihisa roused slowly as an unsettling feeling washed over his being, forcing him into consciousness. Instantly, his hand shot out to his wife's side of the bed, only to find it empty, aside from her still-warm pillow. Frowning, he sat up, his eyes eagerly scanning the room for her presence.

He wasn't home often, but when he was, he liked to have her by his side. She felt the same, of course, so times like these – times when he woke up alone – were quite rare. That was the reason why the current situation confused him so much.

In spite of the dark, he found her easily. She was standing by the window, gazing outside at the cold December night; her fluffy robe was wrapped around her to keep her warm, and her long hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. Her posture and her expression immediately clued him in on what was going on – she must have something on her mind; she only looked out the window when she needed to think.

With a sigh, he threw the warm covers off him and stood up, making his way towards her; he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face into the crook of her neck, paying little attention to her gasp of her surprise and the way her body tensed at his action.

"What's wrong, Keiko?" he asked, concerned about the things that might be haunting her mind.

At the sound of his voice, the woman relaxed and placed her hands on his forearms, leaning back into his embrace. She was quiet for a moment, before answering with a simple, "I can't sleep."

Mikihisa resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her reply. "I gathered as much," he said dryly.

At that, Keiko sighed. She should have known she wouldn't be able to hide this from him. "I'm worried about Anna," she confessed. "I mean…I know she's strong and mature and all that, but still… Finding out, all of a sudden, that your life has been built on a lie…it can't be easy. And I'm scared that…that she'll do something stupid."

"She won't," he told her firmly, without hesitation. "You know her. She may be a lot of things, but reckless is not one of them. She's upset, for sure, but not to that extent – not enough to have her judgment clouded."

Keiko remained silent after hearing that, knowing perfectly well that her husband was right. Anna had had a hard life, but she had always managed to make it through every problem she'd encountered; without a doubt, she would be able to make it through this one, as well, regardless of the fact that it would be much more difficult.

That wasn't what she was so scared of, though. It was the consequences that this would have, the marks it would leave in the blonde's heart, the way it would affect their relationship.

"Do you think she'll hate us for this?" she asked quietly after a few moments, her voice soft and fearful.

"Keiko," Mikihisa sighed, shaking his head. "Of course not. She's a rational person. Once everything settles down, she'll come to understand that we never really had a choice." He hesitated for a moment, before continuing, "Besides, it isn't like we could have kept this secret for much longer."

"I heard Kino say that, too," she remarked. "But I don't understand. I know we couldn't have kept this a secret forever, but still…why now? Why so suddenly?"

Mikihisa sighed upon hearing that, taking a moment to think about his answer. "The situation is…complicated," he finally said. "More complicated than it's been in years. As you well know, Anna is in danger, and we figured she needed to know that. Otherwise…who knows what could have happened?"

"Miki…you're not saying that…?" she breathed, trailing off at the end as she found herself unable to finish that sentence.

"She's in danger, Keiko," he repeated. "She's always been in danger – you have to accept that. But at least now she knows it. At least now she knows that she has to be careful, because someone out there is looking for her. At least now she will be able to sense when something is wrong, and to actually _understand_ what that means."

Keiko's hand tightened on his arm. "I'm worried about her…" she whispered, her voice pained.

"I am, too," he soothed, his arms tightening around her. "But I trust that she will be able to take care of herself." He paused for a moment, a small smirk making its appearance on his features as a particular presence invaded his senses. "If not," he added, "I trust that Yoh will take care of both of them."

Keiko frowned upon hearing that, turning around in his embrace to face him. "Yoh?" she questioned, confused as to why he suddenly brought him up.

"You can't feel it, can you?" her husband asked in response, still smirking.

Her eyes widened. "He's here?" she asked in an almost incredulous tone, already preparing to slip from his embrace and rush out of the room to greet her son.

"Shh," he hushed her, tightening his arms around her in an effort to get her to relax again. "Yes, he's here, but don't try to do anything. Right now, she needs him more than you. We'll see him in the morning."

"But he's alright, isn't he?" she immediately asked, her voice turning from excited to concerned.

Mikihisa's smirk grew into a smile. "He's _more_ than alright," he told her.

It didn't take long for her to catch on. "He did it?" she asked, her eyes shining with a mixture of surprise and pride.

"It seems so," he answered with a nod.

"I always knew he could do it!" she exclaimed, a happy smile spreading onto her features, all of her worries seeming to disappear in an instant. "He just needed someone to force the laziness out of his system. And, honestly, I don't think anybody else but Anna would have managed to do that."

"Me either," her husband agreed, shaking his head. "I still can't understand what makes her so special, but you're right."

"He loves her," she told him, a soft look in her eyes. "That's what makes her so special. I honestly think he would do anything in order to make her happy." She paused for a moment, before adding in a worried tone, "I hope Anna won't do anything stupid, like breaking the engagement."

Mikihisa furrowed his brows. "Why would she do that?" he asked.

"You know her," she said, rolling her eyes. "Now that she has found out that we have no right over her, she will probably do anything in her power to sever every bond, to become even more independent than she already is. That's what worries me the most."

"I agree with you," he confessed, nodding. "I believe she _will_ try to rebel. It's much like her to do something like that, now that I think about it. But I highly doubt it will have anything to do with Yoh. She loves him, too, you know?"

Keiko was silent for a few moments, as she contemplated his words. Then she sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, nestling into his embrace.

"Yeah," she answered, finally content. "I know."

–

–

–

Later that day, Anna found herself at school, thinking back to all the events that brought her there today.

After she had finally gotten over the unexplainable joy she had felt upon seeing Yoh alive and in one piece, things slowly began to come back to her, reality seeping through the walls of the small bubble she'd created around the two of them, until it slowly destroyed all of it. Unwanted thoughts began to invade her mind once more, making it almost impossible for her to focus on what her fiancé had been saying.

It soon become clear to her that what she needed was not someone to hug her and tell her that everything would be alright, like she'd seen in movies. She wasn't like any other girl out there; she preferred to deal with problems on her own, and it seemed like this time was no different. When she got to her room and she saw the little box on her nightstand, she knew she wouldn't be able to stay there any longer.

She was glad that Yoh was there. She was glad that he was fine. She was glad that he had finally come back to her. But, at that point, she couldn't handle being in such proximity with him without breaking down and spilling everything. And she couldn't afford something like that to happen – she barely knew what was going on herself, so telling him about this would probably only make her look like a crazy mess – and a crying one, at that.

Finding out that he had won the tournament was a shock to her. That wasn't because she hadn't trusted him or because she hadn't believed he would make it; it was because the tournament had never crossed her mind, in the first place. Despite popular belief, it seemed like the fact that he was back was more than enough for her.

And God, his words… _"When did I ever disappoint you?"_ Really, she was glad that she had managed to dash out of the house before she could burst into tears right then and there, in front of him. The whole situation was kind of weird. Her emotions were so out of control, that even though she knew perfectly well that she could confide in Yoh, that she could rely on him for anything, his words still stung.

But then again, who could blame her? She'd trusted everyone until now, only to have them all betray her. But Yoh would never… She knew he would never do that. He was an Asakura, and yet, the thought of him having known about her family had never even occurred to her. And, in her case, that was what absolute trust looked like.

The way home was long and annoying. Traffic was horribly slow, so she could barely get past 80 miles per hour. Her foot itched to press on the gas pedal, but all she could do was brake and tap her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, roll her eyes and groan.

When she finally reached her destination, Anna wasn't too surprised to find that her otherwise clean house had been turned into a complete mess.

Despite the early hour, Ren and Horo-Horo were hanging around, the latter obviously hung over, and she barely gave them the chance to greet her properly and ask about Yoh, before she barked out an order: the house was to be sparking clean by the time she got back from school.

Then she made her way upstairs, took a long, hot shower, and changed into her uniform. She refused to move fast, knowing she had time to spare, and even straightened her hair, the process helping her take her mind off things for a few minutes.

She walked back downstairs after almost an hour, and felt a surge of satisfaction pulse through her veins upon seeing that they had all already gotten down to business. That disappeared when she reached the bottom of the stairs, though. For some reason she couldn't understand, they all froze in their tasks and looked up at her, their eyes almost fearful.

Horo-Horo was the only one who moved, but when she turned her gaze towards him, he froze, as well.

Part of her enjoyed this situation, liking the way they still respected her presence and the fact that they hadn't forgotten just how easily she could send them to hell and back. The other part just wanted to blend in, to be normal, and for once, not to have them fear her. More than a little disturbed by its presence, Anna quickly pushed the latter away.

"What's going on?" she demanded to know, her eyes narrowing as she watched them.

Pirika smiled nervously and joined her hands behind her back, rocking back on her heels. "Nothing!" she said, almost too brightly, causing the blonde to raise an eyebrow.

No one hid things from her – hadn't they learned this already?

With a smirk and a slight shake of her head, she opened her mind to them, their thoughts instantly invading hers. It was one in particular that caught her attention – Horo-Horo's.

**Goddamn it! Stop fussing around, you stupid animal! Do you wanna die? Really? Ow, that's my skin!**

That was quickly followed by an outward wince, and then a series of images of a small, blue-eyed kitten attacked her from everybody.

Anna sighed and rolled her eyes, too tired to cause a scene. "Pull it out, will you?" she said, her eyes boring into Horo-Horo's. "We wouldn't want you to asphyxiate the damn cat."

**Shit! I forgot she could read minds!**

"Yeah, it seems so," she answered dryly.

"Anna!" Pirika exclaimed, running to her side and grabbing her arm. "Everything has an explanation, so calm down, okay?"

The blonde stared down at her, taller in her heels, her blue eyes curious as she realized just how scared her mind was, desperately searching for a solution that didn't involve having the kitten killed.

Really? They thought she would kill the kitten?

"Do I look like I'm about to attack all of you, Pirika?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

The Ainu's eyes widened. "N-no!" she exclaimed, frantically shaking her head. "That's not what I meant!"

**She's gonna snap…**

Her head snapped up to look at Ren, surprised that he, of all the people, would come to such a conclusion. He wasn't one to make assumptions, she knew, so where the hell did he get the idea that she would start yelling soon, huh?

**Uh-oh. I wonder if it's time for me to run out of the room**, Horo-Horo thought as he slowly pulled up his baggy shirt and took the kitten out, holding it to his chest in a protective manner.

"Look at him," Pirika whined from beside her, tugging at her arm in an effort to regain her attention. "He's so small and helpless. I couldn't leave him outside, in this weather, all alone… And I know you don't want a pet, but you wouldn't dare to throw it out, right? I mean, poor little thing…"

No sooner had she finished speaking, that her brother's thoughts invaded her mind again. **I knew it! She ain't gonna let us keep it! Damn, I should have made that bet with Ren…**

Anna wasn't sure whether she wanted to laugh, burst into tears, or start yelling at the scene. What was the matter with everybody? Did she really look like she was even capable of doing something like that, of sending an innocent creature to death, just because?

Then it hit her. Of course she did. In their eyes, she was ruthless, heartless, an Ice Queen.

And that was because she had _wanted_ to look like that. She had worked hard to keep her façade up, to keep her reputation intact. Why? Because she'd thought that was the right thing to do; that was who she was and there was nothing she could do about it, right? Only now did she realize just how stupid she had been, just how much she had been fooling herself.

But regardless of that, Anna had been unable to understand where the sudden anger had come from. Even as she sat here, thinking about it, she still couldn't tell. Generally, she didn't give a damn about what other people thought or said about her. There was just something different about this situation – something that made her want to scream out and throw them, not the kitten, out in the snow.

Because they didn't know her. They didn't know her and they didn't have the right to act like they did.

It was probably her need to stay independent and unpredictable that made her agree, that made her tell them that there was really no problem, that _of course_ they could keep the kitten.

A small smirk made its appearance on her face as she remembered the way their mouths had dropped open in shock. Ha! Served them right for assuming they knew her!

Then her smirk disappeared and she sighed, running a hand through her blonde hair.

She would lie if she said she wasn't tired, because she was – physically and emotionally. Between the issue with her family and Yoh's return, her brain had trouble choosing which of those to focus on, resulting in a million of thoughts scattered all over. She was confused and scared and didn't know what to do. Even worse, her emotions were all over the place.

She wanted to go home; she wanted to leave and never come back again. She wanted to be alone; she wanted to talk to somebody. She wanted to think; she wanted to busy herself with anything that would keep her from doing exactly that. She wanted to forget that this had ever happened; she wanted to find out more about it.

It was no wonder her head hurt as if someone had just hit it with a rock.

She just hoped everything would go back to normal soon.

But she had a feeling that was too much to ask for.

–

–

–

Yoh arrived back home later that evening, after a seemingly never-ending series of hugs and questions from his mother. The woman had insisted that he should spend another night there, but Yoh had declined (many times), knowing that there was no way he could handle being away from his fiancée for so long.

She was not alright – that much was obvious. Her behavior had confused him a lot more than usual, which always led to worry from his part. She seemed a lot colder than he remembered, but even so, Yoh was certain that those were tears in her eyes when he told her he'd won the tournament. There was no way he could have imagined it.

After many, many hours spent thinking about it, he had come to the conclusion that it had been the way he'd told her that teared her up, and not the actual news. …Although he couldn't possibly fathom what it was about his words that managed to affect her so damn much. After all, she'd always known he would never, ever let her down, hadn't she?

Yoh sighed. Women were just so damn complicated. And, of course, the fact that they seemed to have a personality disorder with all their mood swings didn't help at all; to make matters worse, those had always seemed to be worse in Anna's case, and that was once again proved to him when the guys told him that she had actually allowed them to keep the kitten, without putting on a show or hurting anybody.

There was not a doubt in his mind – he _had_ to find out what was going on, or else he'd probably go crazy.

Once he managed to escape his friends, he found her quite easily. He remembered perfectly her favorite spot for thinking – from a window in her room, she could easily climb out on the roof. And there she was, looking like a freaking goddess in the late afternoon sun. Even after all this time, he was still amazed by how beautiful she was; that blonde hair, those blue eyes, and that smile that, although rare, could win over an entire army…

More than once, Yoh had found himself thinking that he was quite lucky that she seemed so cold, so entirely unreachable. Otherwise, the entire male population in Tokyo would be after her. Not that it wasn't, even like this. Because she was just…different. She was something else, something special. Amongst the dark-haired, dark-eyed population of Japan, she was like a bright spot of color.

He had always wondered where exactly she was from, since it was obvious she wasn't Japanese. Of course, he'd never had the guts to ask her; he wasn't even sure if she knew. How in the world her parents could have left her was beyond him. Why would somebody ever want to abandon such a perfect creature?

Shaking his head to get rid of those thoughts, he opened the window and easily climbed on the roof, taking a seat next to her. She obviously sensed his presence, because she tensed the slightest bit, but didn't bother with acknowledging him. It was as if she couldn't care less about the fact that he was, more or less, invading her privacy right now.

This struck him as odd, adding to his growing pile of questions.

"Hey," he greeted after it became clear that she wasn't going to even turn her head to look at him. He wasn't sure what he wanted to tell her; he just wanted to hear her speak, to ensure – somehow – that she was alright.

Her reply didn't take long in making an appearance, but her voice was cold and emotionless. "Hi."

Yoh frowned a little upon hearing her, clearly remembering that she only used to use this tone when she was mad at him. But he had just come back – what could he have possibly done to annoy her?

"How was school?" he asked instead of voicing his insecurities, wanting to chew on the matter a little more before daring to reveal it to her.

But that small, innocent question was more than enough to set her off. She turned to face him, annoyance written all over her features. "It seems like I need to remind you, Yoh, that you have no right to judge me or my actions," she told him calmly as she locked eyes with him.

It took him a few moments to understand what she was talking about. "I'm not judging you," he eventually replied, slowly and carefully picking out his words. "It was just a question."

"Good," she answered instantly, turning back to gaze at the red horizon.

They were both quiet after that, Yoh struggling to find an explanation for her unreasonable anger, for her weird behavior. He felt like he was walking on eggshells with her; every word he said could set her off, and while he had dealt with such things in the past, he wasn't entirely sure he could handle them just as well now that he had been away from her for so long.

He'd expected their reunion to be different, really. He'd loved the hug, of course, and the few comfortable moments they'd shared, but then…then it was nothing.

She was acting as if he hadn't just fulfilled the promise he'd made to her what seemed like a lifetime ago, as if she couldn't care less about the fact that he'd made it home alive. Everything with her was as if he had never been gone, in the first place, or as if his return wasn't such a big deal at all.

And not that he was a spoiled brat in need of some pampering, but he had to admit that, sometimes, he would enjoy receiving a little more attention from her, a little more recognition for his efforts.

With a sigh and a slight shake of his head, Yoh tried to chase those thoughts away, knowing that growing frustrated with her behavior would help very little with the current situation. What he had to focus on right now was finding out what was wrong with her; but since he had far too little information, he decided to try to accomplish the next thing on the list – make her loosen up a little, remind her of who he was and what they had.

"Pirika told me you allowed them to keep the kitten," he said, trading the previous subject for a (hopefully) lighter one.

"This has never been about me giving them permission for anything," she answered. "This isn't my house, and their life is their own; they can do whatever they want with it."

Saying that he wasn't shocked by her words would be a lie. What she had just told him was something that Anna had always either ignored or refused to acknowledge, but now it seemed like she'd always known it and accepted it wholeheartedly. On top of that, having her tell him that was, for the lack of a better word, weird.

"Yeah," he eventually said, drawing out the word in his skepticism. "But still…it surprised me," he added after a moment, shrugging.

"She was right," she admitted, even though she didn't need to. "It would die if she abandoned him now."

At that, Yoh couldn't help but chuckle. "Since when do you care about such things?" he asked, smiling.

He had meant it to be nothing more than a teasing remark at how, beneath that cold façade, she was still soft. Anna, however, took it to a whole new level.

She turned to face him, anger blazing in her eyes. "You know, you all act like I'm some kind of monster that will murder all of you as soon as it gets the chance," she snapped. "And you know what? You can breathe again. Because I'm _not_ going to do that."

Once again, Yoh found himself frowning at how easily irritated she was today. Just what was going on with her? "You're taking it the wrong way, Anna," he said, one of his hands reaching out to touch her.

"Whatever," she muttered, coldly shrugging it off her shoulder.

"Anna – " he tried to speak, but she cut him off.

"Drop it, okay?" she snapped. "It doesn't matter."

His mouth snapped shut instantly at the sound of her cold voice, and he bit his tongue in order to keep himself from replying.

He was trying to help, but this was obviously getting him nowhere. Whatever was going on, she definitely didn't want to share it with him, and although he understood her need for privacy, he couldn't help but wonder why. Didn't she trust him enough to confide in him? Or was this just one of those days when she'd rather be left alone?

Deep inside, Yoh knew that this problem had to run deeper than simply that, but for some reason or another, he chose to hang onto the hope that things were less complicated than they seemed.

He was just about to open his mouth and announce her that he would leave, when a movement from her part caught his attention. She fidgeted slightly with her hands, looking almost anxious for some reason he couldn't understand; then it suddenly stopped as she seemed to make up her mind, and she reached down her pocket for something. Moments later, she pulled out a pack of cigarettes, and Yoh was left to watch in shock as she lit one and brought it to her lips with trembling fingers, her eyes fixed on the horizon, yet her mind obviously elsewhere.

He could see now – something was truly wrong with her. The Anna he knew would never touch a cigarette; furthermore, she would punch anybody who dared to light one in her presence.

He also couldn't help but notice that the pack was almost empty. Had she smoked all that in one day?

No, this couldn't be. This had to be a dream – some kind of nightmare. But as seconds passed by and she continued to smoke, seeming to be totally unaware of his presence, Yoh realized that this was reality and that this was really his fiancée who was in that state.

And, suddenly, he couldn't shut up even if he wanted to.

"Okay," he spoke, determined to find out what was going on. "What's the matter?" he questioned as he placed a hand on her knee, silently telling her to turn to face him. She did – an eyebrow raised, annoyance shining lightly in her blue eyes.

"What do you mean?" she asked, before taking a long drag out of her cigarette, unknowingly giving the answer to her own question.

"This is what I mean," he replied, rolling his eyes. "You never used to smoke before."

Anna shrugged, seemingly uninterested in what he was talking about. "That was before."

"You know, out of all the people that could have taken up smoking, you were the last I would have thought of. Actually, no, scratch that. I'm not sure I would have thought of you at all."

The blonde ignored him, keeping her eyes downcast and her attention focused on her cigarette.

"I thought you were stronger than this, Anna."

He had to admit, it required a lot of courage and lack of self-preservation to say something like that to her, but he didn't regret it. As long as it served its purpose and opened her eyes, not even the beating he would probably get mattered. To his utter astonishment, though, she failed to react to his words.

The slap he'd been preparing himself for never came, and, for a moment, he could have sworn he'd seen the slightest hint of a bitter smile on her face. But it was gone as soon as it came.

Her answer, however, rang loud and clear through the stillness of the night. "Yeah. Me, too."

–

–

–

Later that evening, Anna found herself in her room, with her laptop in her lap, searching information for the latest project she had been assigned. The teacher had given them a choice – they had to either turn the paper in that week, or after the winter vacation. The rest of the gang had obviously chosen the second option, and so had she, until someone decided to mess up her life.

Right now, she needed something that would help her get her mind off things, and this seemed to have a copious amount of potential. Unlike the majority of people her age, she had never had trouble focusing. Once she was into something, there was no way out, and not even torturous thoughts like the ones that had been haunting her all day managed to get through.

Well…that, until her so-called friends decided it was time to interrupt her. At first, she'd thought the knock belonged to Yoh (because she knew he hadn't taken the news of her smoking very well, and that he would therefore try to talk her out of it), but when the door opened without her permission, she realized it didn't. Instead, it was Jun who pocked her head inside her room, a small smile gracing her features.

"Hey, Anna," she greeted, entering the rest of the way and closing the door behind her. "What are you doing?"

The blonde raised a skeptic eyebrow. "Why do you care?" she asked, and with a slight roll of her eyes, turned her attention back to her laptop.

Jun had always acted rather friendly towards her (except for that one time when she tried to show off and kill Yoh), but Anna had never truly understood why. The rest of her 'friends' had already gotten used to her cold attitude; it was only Jun who continued to act like she didn't truly know her, like she didn't notice her outbursts and didn't care about her mean, sarcastic remarks.

Sometimes, that was weird and unsettling. Most of the times, though, it was just annoying. Why couldn't she just take a hint and leave her alone, like everybody else?

"The entire gang wants to go to a club," she announced, ignoring her behavior yet again. "I suppose you want to come?"

Under normal circumstances, she would have said yes without a second's hesitation. Ever since she had learned to control her mind-reading ability (which she had _no_ idea how it happened), she had grown rather fond of crowded places. The knowledge that she could tell what x, y, or z was thinking without having it affect her in any way made her feel safe and superior, and she liked that.

But these were not normal circumstances. The loneliness that had been eating at her ever since she left Izumo was unbearable, and she knew perfectly well that mingling with a crowd would only serve to intensify it; she even knew exactly how it would happen: she would look around and realize that, even surrounded by all those people, she was still on her own, like she had always been.

She had been through that a million times before, and although she now knew how to cope with it, why torture herself like that if she could keep it from happening?

"You suppose wrong," she answered, not even bothering to look up at her.

Jun furrowed her eyebrows in a mixture of amusement and confusion. "When have you ever refused to go to a club, Anna?"

"You know, you've already gotten your answer," she snapped, finally raising her head and locking gazes with her. "What are you still doing here?"

This time, the girl's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "You don't have to be so standoffish all the time," she told her. "The world isn't full of people who will continuously try to be nice to you."

"Do I look like the kind of person who would _want_ people to be nice to her?" Anna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Jun agreed. "But you look like the kind of person who would _seriously_ take advantage of that."

"Well, yes." She nodded shamelessly, knowing perfectly well that she was talking about her borrowing her car whenever she needed it. "That works best for me."

Jun rolled her eyes, but made no move to give up. Instead, she walked further inside the blonde's room, determined not to leave without having gotten at least one proper – and educated – answer from her.

Although irritated, Anna didn't pay her much attention, knowing that wasting her energy on her was pointless. Because, in a typical spoiled-brat fashion, Jun always did what she wanted, regardless of the circumstances. So she looked back at the screen of her laptop, hoping that she could just ignore her presence and go back to finishing her essay.

She wasn't that lucky, though, because after a few moments of silence, she heard Jun shuffle something next to her. "Hey, what's this?" she asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Whatever it is, it's most definitely _not_ your business," she answered simply.

The sound of a paper unfolding filled the otherwise quiet room, and then, after a second, Jun gasped.

By the time she looked up, it was already too late.

–

–

–

_A/N: I honestly cannot believe this had taken me so damn long. I know I said the next update will be quicker, and I'm very, very sorry that I didn't manage to keep my promise. It's just that…it's hard to write Yoh x Anna, you know? I'm not entirely familiar with these characters and their behaviors, for this is the first Shaman King story I've ever written (properly, that is), so it's kind of hard at the beginning. _

_I've learned my lesson, though: __never give information about the next chapter unless you're absolutely sure of what you're saying__. Because of that, I can't tell you guys when the next update will be. I just hope it won't take me this long. But even if it does, remember that I would never give up on this story, and be patient with me and my slowness. _

_Now, please review! I really want to hear your opinion on this!_

_P.S. Special thanks to __**marcella karma eater**__, __**majrocks**__, __**.Fashion Monster.**__, __**Lady. Zayriah**, __**carameL**__ and __**elpatolocosisi**__ for reviewing the last chapter! _


	6. Winter Wonders I

–

**You love me for who I am,**

**Like the stars hold the moon**

**Right there where they belong,**

**And I know I'm not alone.**

—"_When I Look at You" by Miley Cyrus._

–

_Although irritated, Anna didn't pay her much attention, knowing that wasting her energy on her was pointless. Because, in a typical spoiled-brat fashion, Jun always did what she wanted, regardless of the circumstances. So she looked back at the screen of her laptop, hoping that she could just ignore her presence and go back to finishing her essay._

_She wasn't that lucky, though, because after a few moments of silence, she heard Jun shuffle something next to her. "Hey, what's this?" she asked, sounding genuinely curious._

_Anna rolled her eyes. "Whatever it is, it's most definitely __not__ your business," she answered simply._

_The sound of a paper unfolding filled the otherwise quiet room, and then, after a second, Jun gasped._

_By the time she looked up, it was already too late._

The Tao mistress stood there, with her birth certificate unfolded in her hands, staring at the small piece of paper with a mixture of shock, wonder, and amazement.

Try as she might, the blonde couldn't help but frown upon seeing her expression, not quite able to understand _a thing_ from what was currently going on.

She had seriously intended to leave the box, along with all its contents, back in her room at the Asakura compound, but it seemed like the damn certificate had gotten misplaced, and therefore ruined her plans. She had no idea how that could have happened, though; she could not remember tucking anything in her pockets, or in her backpack.

The only rational explanation she could find was that she had grabbed it, by mistake, when she had hurriedly gathered all her belongings in her haste to get the hell out of that house, but as she thought better of it and took into account the fact that her room was – and had always been – far from messy, even that became improbable.

Anyhow, it didn't really matter, she told herself. It had happened, and there was nothing she could do about it now.

Well…nothing other than get Jun to calm down and to silently leave the room before she made a scene and alerted the entire house.

Although, now that she thought about it, why would she do that? It wasn't like she could actually _understand_ what that certificate meant, right? The only one who truly knew all the details of her past – better said, of that _lie_ her family had come up with – was her fiancé, and Anna was sure he would never, ever tell anybody about it without her permission.

Which meant that, if things came down to it, she could always fool the girl, mess with her mind until she couldn't understand a damn thing and gave up. After all the time spent with these meddlesome girls, Anna was actually proud to say she had become an expert in that. At least, that's what she had thought. Until Jun opened her mouth and completely shattered her hopes.

"Oh my God, Anna," she gasped out, her hand coming up to cover her gaping mouth. She looked entirely too shocked, and for a moment, Anna feared she might fall off her feet. As if to confirm her suspicions, the girl sat down on her bed only a few moments later, her right hand still clutching on the blonde's birth certificate. "Now I get it," she whispered, more to herself than to her friend, as she slowly shook her head. "How could I have been so damn stupid? I should have known! It was all right there, right in front of me!"

There was no way Anna could have understood what she was talking about, but that was okay, because she didn't really care. She should have been curious, she knew, since it looked like it concerned her, but at this point, she was just too tired. She had had enough revelations for one day; she wasn't sure she could handle another one, no matter what that one would be.

Rolling her eyes, she reached out and snatched the paper out of Jun's hands, hastily folding it back until it looked just as crumpled as she must have found it. Important or not, that document was responsible for turning her life upside down, and if there was no one else she could take her anger out on, then it would have to do.

"Just pretend you've never seen this and the two of us won't have any type of problems, alright?" she declared with an air of finality around it, as she reached over and opened the drawer of her nightstand, placing the certificate inside, before promptly slamming it shut. She didn't have to turn around to witness the shock swimming in Jun's eyes, because she could feel it in the gaze that burned holes in her skin.

It was then when she realized that, whatever realization she had had, it must have been pretty important, if she was _this_ passionate about this whole thing.

"Anna, you can't say something like that to me!" Jun exclaimed, refusing to believe that the blonde would let such a matter go so easily.

"Yes, I can," she countered calmly, rolling her eyes once more. "Now, if you were so kind to leave the room at last – "

"For how long have you known?" the girl interrupted her, sounding more serious than she had ever heard her.

Try as she might, Anna couldn't bring herself to ignore her. "I just found out, okay?" she said, not even bothering to conceal her annoyance. Then she frowned and immediately shut her laptop, setting it aside, as she now had something else, entirely more important, to focus on. "What's your problem, anyway?"

Jun was pale, her eyes glazed over, and her hands shaking lightly; she didn't look good at all, especially considering the fact that, in Anna's eyes, this girl was exceptionally strong. In all the years she had known her, the blonde could not remember a time when she had seen her as much as sneeze or cough. And although she wasn't as cold as her brother, who seemed to be downright emotionless, Jun didn't get affected by every single little thing, either. Something must be of very great importance in order to get a reaction out of her, and Anna had never witnessed something like that.

…Until now. And for the life of her, she couldn't understand what exactly could have brought her in this state. After all, why would she give a damn about the fact that her life had just been turned upside down?

"Anna, don't you realize?" she breathed out, looking up at her for the first time since she had seen the certificate. Her eyes were shining with more emotion than Anna had ever seen in them, and what shocked her the most was that, among surprise, despair, and pain, there was also happiness.

It was more than a little disconcerting to see that, and her frown deepened. It was her who had just discovered that her entire life had been nothing more than a lie, and yet, Jun was the one who seemed to have reacted the worst to the news. She opened her mouth to speak then, even though she had no idea what she could possibly say, but she was cut off by her friend.

"This explains everything, Anna," she said.

The blonde rolled her eyes upon hearing that. Jun was right – it did explain a lot of things, but all of the while, it also messed them all up. But how could _she_ know that? What exactly did it explain to her? How could she say something like that, when she didn't even truly know her?

"Jun, I – " she tried to speak, but was interrupted once again.

"That's why Dad behaved that way when he met you."

En had met her the year before, when he came to Japan on a business trip. Jun was already living with them at that time, so whenever he decided he had some time he wanted to dedicate to his daughter, he came to the inn. To be honest, he was not what Anna had imagined, so she hadn't known what to make out of him at first.

She had been well-aware of the fact that both of his children had had a rough childhood, courtesy of his training regime, from what she had managed to understand over time and from Yoh's stories, so it was only normal that once she saw Jun hang onto his every word and call him 'Daddy', she might have cocked her head to the side and looked at them weirdly.

He didn't seem like the type of man who would ever hurt his children, so Anna could only assume that he'd had a very good reason for which he'd done everything he'd done, which was a pretty easy thing to do, since she wasn't truly interested in that, anyway. After all, things weren't always supposed to have an explanation, right? Right. She'd learned that a very long time ago.

That didn't mean she wouldn't have liked to know why he was acting so damn weird towards her, though. There were subtle glances and unspoken words, his whole demeanor changing when it came to her. He didn't treat her like he treated Pirika; he treated her more like he treated Jun. And that annoyed her, of course, for she was unable to understand why exactly that was. Sure, she knew Pirika might come off as a bit too excited and eager, her chatter bordering on annoying, but her finicky behavior and snarky comebacks couldn't have been much better.

Regardless of that, Anna had tried to ignore him for the most part. She had managed to keep herself from snapping at him the entire week, only to lose her composure on Friday, when he called her out on driving without a license. She was just coming back from school, driving one of Jun's cars, because it had been raining that day, and Pirika had refused to go by bus.

He was talking with his daughter at the gates, next to his own car, and she parked behind him, because that was the spot she always parked in.

It had stopped raining sometime that afternoon, and Pirika had insisted that they should ride with the top down, because 'it was just cool like that'. Anna had relented just to make her shut up. Personally, she hated the way the wind messed up her hair, but she understood that, sometimes, compromises had to be made.

Having a rather good view with the top down, En had noticed that she didn't have her seatbelt on (because, even today, Anna believed they were suffocating), and promptly made a comment about how they were made to be worn. Jun chimed in almost instantly, proclaiming that that wasn't Anna's biggest issue, since she didn't even have a license yet.

It was then when he snapped, if it could be called that, and practically threatened her – in a mannered and evasive way, of course – that if she continued that way, something bad was going to happen. Anna couldn't remember for sure what she had told him then, how exactly she had reacted, but it definitely hadn't been nice, because she hated being bossed around.

Whatever had happened in the ten seconds interval of time, it had strangely managed to amuse En, who then proceeded with letting her know – calmly and amusedly – that she'd better have her license the next time he saw her. That freaked her out the slightest bit, but it didn't stop her from glaring at him, which, strangely enough, had only seemed to amuse him even more.

It had been weird, this behavior of his, and even as she thought back to it now, she still couldn't understand it.

She had no idea what things had begun to make sense for Jun, because it definitely wasn't the same in her case.

"Look, I know you're surprised," she started calmly, slowly, as if testing the waters. At this point, she would like nothing more than to yell at her and kick her out of her room, but for some reason or another, Jun still didn't look very good, and as much of an Ice Queen as she was, Anna wouldn't want her to fall off her feet. "But I doubt that your father has anything to do with this," she told her, shaking her head.

"Yes, he does," Jun insisted. "They know each other, Anna! They've known each other for like, forever! Hell, I know them!"

"Them, as in for…?" the blonde prompted, raising her eyebrows in slight curiosity.

"As in for your family, Anna!" her friend exclaimed, taking both of her hands in hers. "Your mother, and your father, and your brother – "

"Wait a minute!" she interrupted her, instantly snatching her hands away from hers. "I have a brother?"

"Yes, you do!" she replied, nodding excitedly. "Ren practically grew up with him!" She paused for a moment. "Well, not really. But they know each other really well, and – "

"Alright, too much information," Anna cut her off once again, bringing a hand up to rub her forehead as she reclined back against the pillows.

Finding out that she had a family that loved her more than anything in this world was one thing. Finding out that the people who she had known for almost her entire life actually _knew_ about that family was truly more than she could take. Who would have thought, right? Jun, daddy's little girl, and Ren, the spoiled brat who she had always thought to be too arrogant for his own good…

Who would have thought that she could actually have a connection with them?

"You knew about this?" she asked as she met her gaze once again, her voice having an almost accusatory edge to it. "You – "

"No!" Jun immediately denied, shaking her head. "Of course not! I…I thought you were dead. We all thought you were dead. Your father…he never told anybody…" she trailed off for a moment, looking down blankly, before recovering. "I mean, I guess my father knows, but he didn't – "

"I get it," the blonde interrupted her rambling, raising her hand in the air slightly.

Biting down on her lower lip, the Tao mistress inched closer to her friend; she contemplated grabbing her hand once again, but eventually decided against it, as she doubted her action would be well-received.

"This must be so hard for you," she murmured softly after a moment of silence, fidgeting slightly. "What are you going to do now?" It was almost incredible how such a short, simple question could hold so much meaning. Jun actually doubted the fact that Anna had already found an answer to it.

But the blonde managed to surprise her once again – not only with the promptness of said answer, but also with the simplicity of it. "Nothing," she said.

The girl blinked, drawing back in surprise. "Nothing?" she echoed.

"Nothing," her friend repeated, meeting her gaze steadily, confidence emanating from her being.

"I don't get it," Jun confessed, her voice a little guarded, as she shook her head lightly.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "You don't have to."

"Anna, I know this situation must seem very complicated right now, but things will clear up eventually," she reassured her softly. "And hiding away like this really isn't like you."

"I'm not hiding away," she denied. "I just don't care. It's as simple as that."

For a moment, Jun watched her skeptically, unsure of what to make out of her behavior. Then she wisely decided not to press on the matter anymore. It was obvious that the blonde was still shaken up and rather perturbed because of this whole situation; it was only normal for her defensive walls to rise back around her.

"Come on, let's go to that club," she insisted softly, convinced that a distraction was exactly what she needed at this point. "Or at least let's go to my apartment. We'll talk things out." She paused for a moment, then smiled slyly. "Or we'll drink 'till we can't think straight."

"No, Jun." The blonde shook her head, stubbornly holding her ground. "I want to be alone."

"But, Anna…" she protested lightly, her tone dangerously close to a whine.

"I want to forget about this," she re-stated, her voice firmer. "And not just for a night, as you seem so fond of doing." She sighed, running a hand through her blonde locks. "I want to be alone, Jun."

Biting her lip once more, the girl nodded and stood up, hesitation showing clearly in her movements. Anna never looked up again as she slowly made her way across the room, as if expecting her to stop her any moment now. Of course, in the back of her mind, Jun knew there was not a chance in the world for the blonde to do that.

But there was something inside of her, a switch that had been turned on the moment her eyes fell on the birth certificate – a switch that seemed to contradict everything she had known of her. Because that little girl that had remained engraved in her memory, a little girl with long blonde hair, a brilliant smile, and the cutest pout she had ever seen, was nothing like the Anna she was used to seeing every day now.

"If…" she started, rather hesitantly, her hand already on the knob, "If you ever need me – for anything – you know where to find me."

Anna wore a small smirk on her face as she finally looked up at her. "Don't worry," she assured her. "I won't."

And as she watched the door slowly close behind her so-called friend, the blonde knew that her words were probably the truest she had spoken in the last 24 hours. She wouldn't need her – she wouldn't need anybody. She would get through this on her own, just like she had always had, just like she had promised herself she would from the very beginning.

This – no matter how painful – was just another obstacle in her way: an obstacle she would eventually overcome, just like she had overcome all of them.

–

–

–

The following morning found Yoh calmer, less worried about his fiancée. Of course, in the back of his mind, questions still lingered, some distinguishably more irritating than others, but at least he could now rest peacefully in the knowledge that she was by his side and that no one could reach her there – much less harm her. A natural-born optimist, Yoh also knew that, in the end, things would be alright.

And since Anna was stubborn enough not to tell him anything until she felt like it, he decided there was no point in dwelling over the matter anymore.

She looked better, anyway. The night before, despite her perfectly put-together appearance, she had seemed…disheveled. Her thoughts and emotions had been all over the place, and although she had hidden that perfectly, Yoh had noticed it immediately. He was no stranger; after all these years, he could see straight through her façade, sometimes without even wanting to.

For him, it was as though it was not there, in the first place. That was the reason why, the moment she made an appearance downstairs that morning, he had been able to tell from a distance that she was alright.

She was dressed in the navy uniform their school imposed, her long blonde hair cascading over her back and shoulders. As expected from her, she did not acknowledge anyone when she stepped into the kitchen, immediately heading to the sink to fetch herself a glass of water. Sipping from the refreshing liquid, she turned around and gracefully leaned back against the counter, studying her surroundings just like she had always done – with a bored expression on her face, but a hidden spark of interest in her blue eyes.

Unconsciously, she brought a hand up, moving a rebel lock of hair away from her face, and it was in that particular moment that Yoh realized what he had been missing all along. It wasn't Japan. It wasn't this house. It wasn't his crazy group of friends, and it most definitely wasn't the lazy, calm atmosphere of this place. It was her. It was Anna.

"Hey, look!" Pirika's overly-excited squeal brought him back from his thoughts, forcing him to unglue his eyes from his fiancée's figure and fix them on hers. She was holding the kitten – which seemed to be the newly-found center of her attention – close to her chest, smiling down at him. "Look what he does! Kitty, give me a kiss!" she encouraged, and was immediately rewarded with an upward tilt of his furry head.

Yoh laughed, and from the corner of his eye, he saw Anna raise an eyebrow at the scene unfolding before them. With a slight shake of her head, she emptied the remaining contents of her glass in the sink, before moving away from the counter, making her way out of the kitchen.

"You're already leaving?" Pirika called after her, a small frown present on her features.

The blonde's answer was noticeably quieter, but still easily heard, even through the ruckus Horo-Horo and Ren was causing. "Yes."

"Why?" the girl prodded as she skipped to the doorway, the kitten still clutched tightly to her chest.

"I have some things to solve," she replied simply.

"I'll come with you!" she announced brightly, already preparing to hand the animal over to her brother.

Anna's voice, however, cut her enthusiasm short. "I have things to solve on my own," she stressed out.

The Ainu rolled her eyes. "Geez," she muttered sullenly. "You could have just said you don't want me to come with you."

Grinning, Yoh stood up and started to make his way towards the two girls, the action going completely unnoticed by his still bickering friends. Stopping in the doorway, he watched as his fiancée continued to button up her coat, completely unfazed by her friend's commentary.

"I don't want you to come with me," she stated bluntly, without as much as a moment's hesitation.

Pirika scowled. "That was just mean," she told her, earning an uncaring shrug from the blonde. With yet another roll of her eyes, the girl turned around and made her way back to the boys, leaving Yoh and Anna alone in the hallway. Smiling softly at his fiancée's obvious display of disinterest, the Asakura took the remaining steps in her direction, his hands in his pockets and his posture relaxed as always.

If she noticed his approaching presence, she did not show it, did not even look up as he came to stand right in front of her.

"Can I come with you?" he asked, both hopefully and amusedly.

Anna raised an eyebrow, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder as she finally raised her head to lock gazes with him. "What makes you think you're special?"

Yoh's smile grew wider. "The fact that I have been standing in front of you for," he paused, pretending to check his watch, "approximately ten seconds and you have yet to send me away."

"Great," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You've become smarter."

It was hard to tell for a person who did not know her, because everybody would assume that she was only being sarcastic, but over the years, Yoh had grown accustomed to the subtle glow of amusement in her eyes, and he now knew that this was her way of teasing.

Without another word, the blonde turned around and walked out on the door, leaving it open for the now-grinning Yoh to follow her – which he did not hesitate at all in doing.

"Can I ask you something?" he questioned as he shrugged on his coat, watching her from her corner of his eye.

"You just did," was her short answer.

Yoh smiled. "I was thinking," he started, then trailed off, knowing that would attract her attention. As expected of her, Anna looked up at him, an eyebrow raised. He resisted the urge to laugh – he could bet she had no idea how predictable she was. "Everybody is going to visit their families on Christmas."

"I'm not coming with you to Izumo," she stated almost immediately, her voice firm and serious, losing all touches of amusement and playfulness.

Upon hearing that, the brunet frowned, finding it quite strange that she had dismissed the idea so quickly. From what he could remember, she didn't use to have any problems with visiting the Asakura family every once in a while. Actually, he could have sworn that, most of the times, she'd liked the idea of spending a few days with them – they were, after all, the only family she had.

"I wasn't going to ask you to," he defended, deciding not to press on the matter any further. "I just wanted to know if you were willing to go somewhere with me."

Anna raised an eyebrow, her curiosity spiking uncharacteristically. "Somewhere?" she asked as she slowly came to a stop and turned to face him, a questioning look in her eyes.

"Anywhere," he clarified, shrugging. "You name it; I'll take you."

Lightly cocking her head to the side, she looked up at him, her expression unreadable. "Why?" she asked quietly after a moment of silence, and it was in that particular moment that she suddenly felt like a child to him, the pure innocence that resounded through her whisper almost too much for him to bear.

Anna was a strong woman – that was clear to everybody. But deep inside, she was nothing more than a scared child. Yoh was one of the few – if not the _only_ person in the world who knew that. And sometimes, he believed that was a much bigger responsibility than others could ever even fathom.

"There's no specific reason, really," he admitted, smiling sheepishly. "I just want to spend some time with you – that's all."

"Can't we…?" she trailed off for a moment, averting her eyes from his. "Can't we spend some time together here?" I'm just…I'm not in the mood for traveling…anywhere," she confessed as she looked back up at him, her cold façade falling apart under his gentle gaze.

Yoh smiled, reaching out to grab her hand. "We can do whatever you want," he told her.

Anna remained quiet as she looked down at their intertwined hands, seeming to contemplate something in that silent way of hers; when her gaze returned to his a few moments later, it was steady and confident.

"Let's do it," she said firmly. "Let's go."

Her fiancé frowned. "But you just said – "

"I changed my mind," she interrupted him, the simplicity she approached problems with making him smile once more. Taking a step closer, he reached out to tuck a rebel lock of blonde hair behind her ear, stopping to caress her cheek in the process.

Strangely enough, Anna didn't protest at the action, only continued to look up at him with those beautiful blue eyes he had fallen in love with so many years ago.

"Can I ask you something else?" he questioned softly, steadily holding her gaze.

"What?" she prodded, appearing to be completely unfazed by their proximity.

Yoh licked his lips, inching even closer to her. "Can I kiss you?" he asked.

This time, his only answer was a cocked eyebrow, accompanied by a familiar flicker of amusement in his fiancée's eyes. Her free hand soon came to rest over his own, and she smiled lightly, but before she could say another word, he bent his head and pressed his lips to hers, swiftly silencing her.

The kiss was light, gentle, almost as if he were afraid that taking it any further would hurt her somehow; had she been a different type of woman, she would have probably thought she had imagined the feather-like touch. He pulled away a few moments later, their eyes fluttering open with the action.

Saying that Yoh had not expected the weak punch to the stomach he received only a moment later would be an understatement.

"Ow!" he complained as he rubbed the spot where she had hit him, laughing. "What was that for?"

"That was for you getting ahead of yourself," she answered simply, flipping her long hair over her shoulder. "Because I never answered your question, Asakura."

–

–

–

A week later, Anna was starting to think that making the decision of going 'somewhere' with her fiancé really hadn't been her worst mistake, despite the label she had so quickly placed on it. In fact, she was starting to think that it hadn't been a mistake, in the first place.

There was only one reason for which she had agreed to this, and that reason was Yoh. He _deserved_ this. After everything he had been through – after everything _she_ had put him through – he deserved to be allowed to have his way at least once.

Of course, being a pessimist by nature, Anna had never even thought of the fact that this trip away from Japan might actually be just what she needed at this point in her life. But standing here now, the warm wind caressing her face, nothing in front of her but the endless ocean and the cloudless sky, the blonde felt like her problems were too far away to reach her.

There was no denying the fact that it had surprised her that he had chosen such a quiet destination. Only for a moment, though. Because then she realized that, when Yoh promised her that they would be alone, he had been serious. He knew she always felt more comfortable when it was just the two of them, and he had probably also missed this calm and quiet intimacy that existed between them, especially after spending almost two years with his loud friends. People may think and say whatever they wanted, but Anna knew her fiancé's true feelings for her – he _loved_ her. He really did.

A quiet sigh escaping her lips, the blonde leaned forward towards the railing, resting her forearms on the cool metal as her blue eyes carefully scanned the gorgeous view before her. Night had already fallen over the surroundings, and the once baby-blue sky was now darker, the stars shining brightly above her. In the horizon, a thin stripe of fiery orange could still be seen, blending smoothly in dark red, then purple, before disappearing in the blackness of the sky. The water was calm, the waves rippling lightly; the smooth sound they made, along with that of the wind, was the only soundtrack around her.

Just by looking at it, admiring its subtle beauty, the scenery calmed Anna immediately. How in the world could Yoh know her so thoroughly when she never told him anything was beyond her.

Strangely enough, just as that thought popped into her mind, she felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around her small figure, bringing her closer to their owner's well-built chest. She did not need to turn around to see who it was, and that was not necessarily because the two of them were alone on the yacht he had so thoughtfully brought her on.

It was because she would recognize those arms anywhere – those arms that provided her with the embrace of a man who loved her more than anything in this world, a person who she knew she could always rely on, someone who would protect her from everyone and everything. And every single time they wrapped around her, everything inside her just…melted.

She couldn't resist them – she couldn't resist _him._ Not when she needed his reassuring presence so damn much.

Straightening her back, she allowed herself a brief moment of weakness and leaned back against him, placing her head on his shoulder, her hands coming to rest on his forearms.

Yoh pulled her even closer, kissing her tangled, blonde locks. "I was looking for you," he said, his warm breath fanning against the sensitive skin of her neck, sending shivers up and down her spine.

Anna closed her eyes. "And you found me," she replied simply.

"Yeah, in the end," he retorted, and the child-like tone of his voice caused the faintest of the smiles to pull at her lips. Slowly turning around in his arms, she met his steady gaze, locks of blonde hair flying over her shoulders as the wind propelled them forwards. His hands, previously sprawled on her stomach, slid over the soft material of her dress until they rested on her hips.

"Where was I supposed to be, Yoh?" she asked amusedly, her blue eyes boring into his soft brown ones.

He chuckled lowly. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he admitted, and gazed at her for a moment more, one of his hands reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear. Then he grabbed her hand and carefully led her away from the railing, heading towards one of the sitting areas on the deck.

Although unsure of his objective, the blonde followed him wordlessly, taking a seat on the overstuffed mattress as he did the same, their hands still intertwined.

"I have something for you," he declared as he shifted to face her, a special glint in his warm brown eyes.

Anna raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "You're full of surprises nowadays, aren't you?" she said.

"Nah," he denied, shaking his head. "I just wanted you to have this." Reaching down into his pocket, he pulled out a black, little velvet box, wordlessly holding it out to her.

After a brief moment of hesitation, the blonde took it from him, her hands shaking lightly with the realization of what was about to happen. Was this what she thought it was?

Swallowing heavily, she gathered her courage and opened the little box, the air leaving her lungs in a sudden rush as her eyes caught sight of what exactly it contained. Nestled between dark-red silk, there was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had ever seen – a stunning diamond ring that looked as though it should be gracing the cover of a bridal magazine, rather than be held in her hands right now.

Making a conscious effort to keep her mouth shut, the blonde turned to her fiancé, a questioning look in her eyes.

In return, he simply smiled at her, undeniably happy with her reaction – rendering Anna speechless was a true achievement, one he very rarely had the chance to make.

"But…" She attempted to speak, but ended up trailing off, not even knowing what to say. She tried again a moment later, her voice slightly raspy, heavy with emotion. "But we're already engaged," she said, glancing back at the ring in her hands. The moonlight bounced off the flawless stones, and she resisted the urge to pull it out of its confines so that he could admire it better.

"I know," Yoh replied, his tone light, just as happy and carefree as always. "That's why I'm not down on one knee, asking you to marry me. I just wanted to make everything more official." He shrugged, before reaching out to touch her, gently titling her chin up so that her gaze would return to his. "I love you, Anna," he confessed, the pure confidence and sincerity in his voice enough to take her breath away. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you – really badly."

Anna was quiet for a moment, her brain having trouble processing his words. Swallowing heavily once more, she looked down at her lap for a brief moment, then back up at him.

"I know that," she whispered. "I don't need a three karat diamond to – "

"When we were younger," he interrupted her, "I promised you that I would work hard and win the tournament, so that I could offer you an easy life. Remember?" He paused for a moment, waiting for her nod. "Then why are you making it so hard for me right now?"

The blonde shook her head, averting her eyes from his. "I'm not sure what you understood by 'easy life', but I certainly didn't mean expensive cars, and jewelry, and trips around the world… I don't – "

"I know," he said, gently cupping her cheek, coaxing her to meet his gaze. "I know money doesn't mean a thing to you. But if I can give all that to you, why wouldn't I? Let me spoil you," he encouraged. "Let me put the world to your feet."

"I don't deserve that," she whispered back almost automatically, her eyes involuntary filling with tears.

Yoh shook his head, kissing her forehead tenderly. "You deserve so much more," he told her, sounding more convinced than she could ever remember hearing him.

Anna tried to argue, to remind him of the fact that he really had no idea what he was talking about, but he didn't give her a chance to do either of those.

"Now, tell me," he encouraged, titling his head towards the box she held in her hand. "Do you like it?"

Biting down on her lower lip, the blonde could only nod, not trusting herself to speak. Taking the little box from her hands, Yoh pulled the ring out, and she finally got the chance to see it better. The band was composed of a single row of diamonds, and the center stone shone in the moonlight as he slowly slipped it on her finger.

He softly kissed her hand, and she threw her arms around his neck, managing to hide her face from his view right before a tear fell from her eye, slowly following a path down her cheek. In an instant, Yoh's arms came to wrap around her waist, bringing her closer to him. His head buried partially in her long hair, he kissed the side of her neck, and it took everything for her not to start crying right then and there.

It was amazing how much this man cared for her, and how obvious his feelings were. It was unbelievable that she had once doubted them. Because, aside from the fact that he always took care of showing her just how much he cared, that he was constantly showering her with love and attention, that he treated her like a princess…aside from all that, he was also incredibly understanding.

Despite the way she treated him, he never once complained. He would sigh and drop the matter they were discussing, then go off and do something completely unexpected and incredibly sweet – just like tonight. Anna knew that, ever since he returned, he had been suspicious of her strange behavior, and that those suspicions had been confirmed the moment he saw her smoking, but never again had he touched that subject. Had she known him any less, she probably wouldn't have realized that the reason behind that decision of his was her – the fact that _she_ was not comfortable with the subject.

No matter the circumstances, everything was always about her. He loved her more than anything in this world, she knew. Just like she loved him. She just happened to have a much more complicated life and a terrible inability to deal with the problems it threw at her. And because of that, she didn't deserve him. She was way too messed up, and she was afraid that, one day, he would finally realize that, and leave her.

And in spite of all of her independence and self-sufficiency, Anna was not sure she could make it without him. He was all she had – the only solid thing she knew she could grasp at any moment.

She would give anything to be different, to be able to give up her stubbornness, to get rid of that cold façade, and to show everyone just how much he meant to her. But she couldn't…and that hurt the most.

–

–

–

Later that night, the blonde stirred lightly in her sleep as an uneasy feeling started to invade her senses, slowly luring her out of her blissfully unconscious state. Slowly opening her heavy eyes, she blinked a few times in an effort to chase the sleep away, before squinting slightly into the darkness, trying to make sense of her location. It was only a matter of seconds before memories began to flood her mind, just as she became awake enough to feel him – his warm skin against her cheek, the slow, rhythmic movement of his chest beneath her, his strong arm around her waist…

Suddenly, a frown appeared on her features, annoyance beginning to blaze lightly in her still sleepy eyes. What could have possibly been so important to pull her out of her sleep when she was wrapped around him so completely? The idea that her problems – whatever those happened to be – could reach her even like this, even when she had him by her side, was almost terrifying, and she refused to consider it, no matter how much of a coward that made her. But she was awake now, and there was little she could do about that.

Gently slipping out of his embrace, careful not to wake him, the blonde quietly pushed herself into a sitting position, holding the sheet close to her naked chest. Instinctively, one of her hands rose to touch her hair, trying to tame the curly mess it probably was, while her blue eyes carefully scanned her surroundings, searching for anything that might have had something to do with her sudden awakening.

She did not find it in that room. Instead, she became dimly aware of a dull pain in her chest, of a mixture of worry and anticipation pooling uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach.

Licking her dry lips, she frowned lightly into the darkness. Something was wrong. Her mouth felt bitter, her heart was clenching – painfully and repeatedly – in her chest. Something was terribly wrong, and for the life of her, she could not figure out what that something was.

A soft, feathery-like touch trailing up her spine brought her back from her torturous thoughts, and she turned her head to look at the man lying beside her, only half-surprised to see his brown eyes open and set on her figure. After all, Yoh had always been too perceptive for his own good.

"You alright?" he asked sleepily, and although his gentle, worried gaze warmed her insides, it was not enough to fully drive the unsettling sensation away.

"Yeah," she answered with a quiet sigh, before slowly lowering her body to the mattress, the sheets rustling slightly as she settled on her side, her back to him.

It was only a moment later that she felt his warmth slide closer to her, his legs tangling with her own. His warm breath tickled her as he lightly kissed her shoulder, causing her skin to erupt into goose-bumps; slowly, his large hand ran up the length of her arm, soothing her, while he buried his face into her hair, inhaling her sweet scent.

The action distracted her, as did his presence, but for some reason or another, the painful clenching of her heart persisted.

"You're quiet," he observed, his fingers playing with an unruly lock of blonde hair that was draped over her shoulder.

Anna closed her eyes, swallowing heavily against the sudden onslaught of emotions his simple action awoke inside of her. She was completely vulnerable like this – with her thoughts and feelings all over the place – and while she knew Yoh would never take advantage of that, she was not particularly happy that she had to deal with him in such a state.

Regardless, contemplating this was useless right now. They were both awake, and she knew for a fact that he wouldn't go back to sleep until he found out what exactly had her awake at this time of the night – and she wasn't sure she had the necessary strength to fool him.

"That's not exactly a revelation," she answered, her voice slightly raspy, as her eyes scanned the wall in front of her aimlessly.

"I guess not," he chuckled, kissing her shoulder blade once again. "What's on your mind?"

The blonde heaved a sigh. "I have my own problems, Yoh," she admitted.

Yoh's hand ran up and down her arm once more. "Share them with me?" he encouraged silently, hopefully, but she remained silent despite his indirect plead. Breathing out a soft sigh, he gently brought his arm around her and cupped her cheek with his hand, forcing her to turn her head so that he could see her expression.

Confused, her blue eyes sought his in the darkness, and the unconcealed vulnerability they showed only served to worry him more.

"Why won't you tell me what's bothering you?" he asked, his voice soft. "We can figure it out together."

"There's no figuring it out." Her quiet whisper surprised both of them. "It doesn't have a solution."

He shook his head. "Every problem has a solution," he said.

"Then don't worry," the blonde told him as she shifted slightly, placing her hand over his own as it continued to rest gently against her cheek. "I'm going to find it myself."

Admittedly, Yoh did not like the sounds of that. Anna had always been too rebel, too independent, never letting anybody in unless absolutely necessary. In time, he had managed to break down some of the protective walls she had built around herself, but a few still remained, standing tall and proud against every attempt he made at destroying them.

And even though he had just returned, even though he had known all along that he would have to regain her trust on a certain level, Yoh was getting tired – tired and desperate.

She was not alright – it was painfully obvious. Something had happened in her life, something that had managed to shake her down to her very core, and he had not been there to witness it, much less protect her from it. Of that, he was guilty. But he wanted to make things better, to solve this somehow… Didn't that count? Not in her eyes, it seemed.

Yoh was not sure if she was doing this intentionally, or if her defensive mechanisms were so strong that they had become instincts, instincts so primal that she had no control over, but Anna was rejecting all of his attempts at helping her, at solving this situation. They had not gone through this – whatever this was – together, so she refused to let him in on it.

But as she titled her head upwards and lightly touched her lips to his, Yoh suddenly knew. She was not doing this on purpose – she couldn't. And that worried him. Because a stubborn Anna he was used to – he could handle. But a hurt, broken one…he wasn't so sure. Regardless, it seemed like the choice was not his anymore.

And as he kissed her back, he realized that the choice had never been his, in the first place. Because there was just no way he could ever pressure her to do something she did not want to do, to tell him something she did not want to say. But that was alright, too. Because hey, this was Anna. And he would wait for her forever if that was what he needed to do.

–

–

–

_A/N: Hello, everybody! Long time no see, huh? Well, yeah… It's a good thing I refused to make any promises regarding this update, because __they would have been broken a veeery long time ago. _

_So, what the hell took my so damn long, you may wonder? Well, first of all, I must say this chapter was not easy to write – at all. And I don't know why, but for a long while, I just wasn't able to get in the mood to at least attempt to write it. The 'miracle' happened a few weeks ago, and this is the final result. _

_Truth to be told, I had envisioned this chapter to contain a lot more scenes, but once I started writing it, I realized that, not only would it have turned out to be gigantic, but also, it would have taken much longer for me to finish it. So, I decided to end it here. I'm sure none of you are bothered by that, since there was more then enough Yoh x Anna in there, now wasn't it?_

_Anyway, I am not sure when the next update will be. I wish I were able to stick to a stricter posting schedule, but that's just not me, and the last time I tried, it turned out to be a total disaster. Always remember, though: just because my updates are slow doesn't mean I have given up on the story. I would never give up on any of my stories, especially not this one. _

_Please review! I would really like to hear your opinion on the way this whole thing i__s heading! _

_Also, also! You can find pictures of the ring on my profile. _

_P.S. Special thanks to __**HPCS2**__, __**.Fashion Monster.**__, __**elpatolocosisi**__, __**zanessafan4ever**__, and __**Miranda**__ for reviewing the last chapter!_


	7. Winter Wonders II

–

**When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms**

**The whole world just fades away,**

**The only thing I hear**

**Is the beating of your heart.**

—"_Breathe" by Faith Hill_

–

The moment Anna stepped inside the small café that morning and caught Pirika's overly-excited gaze, she knew it would be a long day. The girl was up to no good when her eyes sparkled like that. Stopping for a moment to take in a deep breath, she advanced towards the two girls seated at a low table in a corner, strands of blonde hair sliding off her shoulders with her movements.

There was hardly a person in the entire world who could force Anna to subject herself to the type of torture universally known as 'girl talk', but she was a smart woman – and she knew better than to allow these girls to trap her at home.

Sometimes, she missed those quiet times when they would be too afraid to approach her, much less grill her for information, but she supposed that letting them in – as involuntarily as the action had been – made her less scary than she used to be all those years ago. Her firmness, her seriousness and her confidence were the three things that drove people away from her, but these girls had managed to look – and see – beyond them, and now they seemed to know that the blonde was not a real threat unless provoked badly.

They probably also believed that sticking their noses into her personal life did not fall in the category.

"Tell us!" the blue-haired teenager demanded as soon as she had taken a seat at their table, a bright, excited grin lighting up her features. "Where did you go? And what happened there?"

Anna rolled her eyes. "You don't need to know all that," she replied simply.

"Oh, come on," Pirika whined, but Anna ignored her in favor of watching Jun, who seemed to believe she was in dire need of a cigarette, judging by the way she blew the smoke into the air surrounding them.

"You are not tempting me," she informed her with a hint of smugness in her voice.

Jun laughed. "Damn, girl!" she exclaimed. "You're pretty relaxed, aren't you? What did he do to you?"

Pirika chose that particular moment to let out a dramatic gasp.

"Oh my God," she spoke slowly, accentuating every word, "I am going to faint." Then she promptly yanked the blonde's left hand away from her phone and across the table, the light glinting off the precious stones that adorned the object of her attention as she slowly studied her ring finger.

Jun grinned from where she sat beside her, pleasantly surprised. "Now, just what do you have to say about that?" she demanded.

Anna snatched her hand away. "It was long overdue," she lied, trying to hide a smile.

"Please," the green-haired girl scoffed, still smiling. "If my boyfriend gave me that…" she trailed off, rolling her eyes, "I'd jump on him! But of course, you wouldn't be yourself anymore if you weren't taking everything for granted."

Anna rolled her eyes. "Save it," she advised.

"Oh, God, I am calling Jeanne," Pirika announced, one hand sprawled over her heart, the other clutching her mobile phone, as she stood. "I am sorry, Anna, I know you think this is none of my business, but I am totally calling her!"

Jun watched her scramble away from the table with an amused smile on her lips. "I guess it's a good thing that you get along well with Jeanne," she observed as her gaze returned to the blonde sitting across from her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied offhandedly, "I get along well with everybody."

Jun laughed. "Sure," she quipped.

They fell silent after that, and her smile slowly disappeared as the weight of the news she carried began to press on her shoulders.

"I…" she started after a long period of hesitance, "I talked to my father. I told him some well-deserved things for hiding this from me."

Anna merely looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"He asked about you," she continued, hoping to catch her interest, "How you were doing." She bit her lip as she received no response. "I told him you were managing. That you're a strong girl. He said he was sure you would find a way to deal with this."

"And the reason why you're telling me all this is…?" Anna prompted, both eyebrows raised in feigned interest.

Jun sighed. "Anna, I – "

"I thought I'd been particularly straight-forward when I told you I don't give a damn about this," she stated, voice ice cold. "When I told you I don't want to hear a single word regarding this subject."

"I thought you were joking," the green-haired girl remarked daringly.

"I don't joke," she snapped.

"Anna, you can't possibly hide from this problem – "

"I'm not hiding," she said. "I'm ignoring it – purposefully and deliberately."

Jun shook her head. "It isn't right."

Her chair scraped lightly against the floor as she stood up. "No one – not even you, daddy's little girl – has the right to tell me what's right and wrong," she stated, surprisingly calm. "And if you want us to continue to have a cordial relationship, you might want to consider understanding that, or at least putting it to the forefront of your mind when you wish to speak to me."

Those were the last words she told her before she left, and her blonde hair was the last she saw of her for the rest of the day.

–

–

–

_Darkness had consumed her surroundings. Screamed echoed in the silence. The atmosphere was heavy, agitated, but her vision was dwindled. It was as though a black veil had fallen over her eyes. _

Her pale, delicate hand gripped the pillow underneath her head tightly. Her lips pursued, her brows furrowing.

_Tires screeched on the pavement. She could almost smell the burning rubber, but the accompanying image remained missing._

A small noise of discomfort escaped her lips, somewhere between a gasp and a sob, a sharp intake of breath, as though she was rasping for air. Her grip on the soft material of her pillow tightened.

_Screamed resounded through the heavy air again. People shouted unknown names, letters she could not make out._

A thin layer of sweat glistened on her body in the faint light that came in through the window.

_Then a loud gunshot ripped through the agitated atmosphere, and everything stopped. The world stood still. The darkness, if possible, became even darker._

Like a newborn baby, she sucked in a chocked breath as she abruptly regained consciousness, sitting up in her bed in a sudden, brusque movement. Locks of blonde hair fell forward, over her shoulders and into her eyes, her chest heaving as it struggled to provide oxygen for her lungs. Frantically, her blue eyes ran aimlessly through the dark bedroom, searching for something – _anything_ – that be blamed for her accelerated breathing and the adrenaline pulsing through her veins. They found nothing. Everything was in perfect order, the room quiet and safe, like it had always been.

It took her a while to come to and understand that the reason for her anxiety was simply another nightmare. As that realization sunk in, she allowed herself to exhale a relieved breath, her hand coming up to run through her hair, pulling it back from her face. Closing her eyes for a brief moment, she attempted to get her erratically beating heart under control, one of her hands still keeping her hair gathered at the nape of her neck.

It had been a while since she had last had a nightmare, she concluded, despite the fact that she hadn't been sleeping entirely well lately. And what a weird nightmare this had been… She had seen nothing, and understood nothing of what she had heard, short of the gunshots.

Her brows furrowed as she tried to make sense of what had happened. Her throat felt dry, and she swallowed in an attempt to soothe the strange itch. As her breathing slowly regulated, she became aware of a sharp pain in her chest, and the shock of it forced a whimper out of her throat. Squeezing her eyes shut, she hunched over, one of her hands resting over her forehead, keeping her hair back, the other over her chest, curling into a fist above her heart.

"What is wrong with me?" she hissed to herself in the darkness as she angrily threw the heated blanket off her, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, standing up. A light wave of dizziness hit her from the quick movement, and she had to place a hand over the wall to stabilize herself. She stopped for a moment, annoyance blazing in her eyes as she closed them, taking a deep breath to calm herself down.

Then she straightened and swiftly crossed the room to the attached bathroom. The lights hurt her sensitive eyes as she turned them on, but other than squinting lightly, she refused to let the discomfort affect her. Grabbing a hair tie from the counter, she pulled her thick hair in a high ponytail, showing little regard to the tangles that had resulted from her trashing.

Closing her eyes once again, hands resting on the cool counter, she tried to chase the unsettling sensation away. Heaving a sigh, she reached for the tap, letting ice cold water pour into the sink. The coldness brought her shallow relief, even as drops of water slid down her neck to cool down her heated body. Another sigh escaped her lips as she reopened her eyes to look at her reflection in the mirror. Her gaze was defeated now. This had happened before – and she knew that the uncomfortable feeling in her chest would not disappear at her mere wish.

"What is happening?" she whispered to herself. "What does this mean? Why is nothing coming out alright?"

Nothing changed when she was back into the darkness of her room. Her heart continued to clench painfully in her chest, sending jots of pain through her body, and tears – of annoyance, of frustration, perhaps even of discomfort – began to prickle at the corners of her eyes. Leaning against the wall, her head thumping lightly on the cold surface, she licked her lips, her hands trembling in agitation.

She was out of her room before she could even fully comprehend the course of action her body had independently taken. Even then, she did not stop. She continued on her way, feet padding softly on the bare floors of the hallway.

There was a slight moment of hesitation as she stood in front of his door, her hands hovering over the wooden surface unsurely, but she pushed all insecurities aside as another jolt of pain shot through her body.

The door closed soundlessly behind her, and her eyes fell on the man sleeping peacefully on the bed. She almost felt bad for waking him.

Swallowing the uncomfortable lump that had formed in her throat, she made her way across the room, climbing on the bed with him. As soon as she slipped underneath the covers, his warmth engulfed her, and although every fiber of her being yearned to relax, her mind would simply not allow that.

Yoh stirred when he felt the mattress dip slightly with her weight. A furrow appeared between his eyebrows, and he directed his half-opened eyes towards her.

"Anna?" he whispered, confusion sounding clearly in his sleep roughened voice. "What –"

"Shh," she hushed him as she curled up beside him, her hand tracing his jaw. "Don't talk."

She pressed her lips to his then, and every worry in the world seemed to dissipate in an instant.

–

–

–

The sun had barely risen above the horizon when Yoh stepped out of the bathroom that morning, freshly showered and ready to start the day.

His internal clock had been adjusted quite dramatically during the tournament. Times when he now slept through the morning were few, and that was not always because he did not feel tired. There was just something inside of him that would not allow him to do that anymore, something that would constantly remind him that he was now responsible for the entire world.

During their little 'escapade', his fiancée's reassuring presence had chased that something away – or at least it had made its effects less strong. But then again, she herself had been different back then – calmer, more open. And with her relaxation, came Yoh's peace of mind. He knew that, as long as there was amusement glowing in her eyes, a subtle smile flittering its way across her features from time to time, and a calm aura surrounding her, she was alright. Not entirely, but enough not to have whatever was bothering her on the inside, show on the outside, in her demeanor.

The night before had changed his perception of things – and with good reason.

Yoh had honestly thought that she had managed to find a solution to her problem – although that was highly improbable while they were on their trip, that was what her behavior had indicated. But that behavior did not include her climbing into his bed in the middle of the night, desperate to feel his arms around her, practically _begging_ him to make her forget about something he knew absolutely nothing about.

Releasing a quiet, almost inaudible sigh, he slowly made his way towards where she lay tangled in the sheets, crouching down next to his bed, watching her sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, she had woken up and pulled his shirt on – a shirt he had haphazardly discarded on the floor the day before – and was now sleeping peacefully, her blonde locks spread all over his pillow.

Yoh was not stupid. Despite everything, he had known, from the very beginning, that something was wrong with her, and never once had he doubted it, no matter how she behaved or what lies she fed him.

Reaching out to touch her, he hesitated, his hand freezing in mid-air for a brief moment, before continuing on its course. He tenderly touched her cheek, the softness of her skin something that he had yet to grow completely accustomed to, and then gently brushed a wavy lock of golden hair away from her face.

What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to act? How was he supposed to make her open up, to trust him again? How, when it was obvious that she had no intention whatsoever of at least _trying_ to do so? He could be there for her, alright. He had been there for her all along. He could close his eyes and play stupid, fool her into believing that he had not caught on. If that made her happy, he could do it. But what was the point, when it would not help her in the least? And what else could he possibly do?

With yet another resigned sigh, he removed his hand and promptly shoved it into his pocket, standing up. Casting one last glance at the sleeping figure on his bed, he turned around and headed towards the exit.

The door closed quietly behind him, the almost inaudible sound it made failing to reach the blonde's ears.

–

–

–

When the blonde woke up, the sun was shining brightly into sky. Her eyes blinked open, her long lashes brushing against her cheeks with the movement, and she frowned in displeasure as she realized just how strong the light was. A soft sigh escaped her lips. Winter was supposed to be dark and gloomy, not sunny.

Closing her eyes and rolling over onto her stomach, her hand blearily reached out to touch the space beside her, only half expecting to stumble across another warm body. Her silent wishes were not fulfilled, and she was startled by how much disappointment ensued. Yoh was almost always up before her now, and to expect any differently was stupid – and quite childish, in her opinion.

He did, however, enter the room only moments later, carrying a glass of orange juice. Feeling rather lazy, she resumed at watching him through sleepy eyes, not moving a muscle.

A grin spread on his features at the sight of her, and she almost smiled back.

"Hey," he greeted as he took a seat on the bed, one of his hands coming to rest behind her; he placed the glass on the nightstand beside her, before bending down to press his lips to hers in a good morning kiss. She accepted the offer immediately, titling her head up to receive it better. "The girls are looking for you," he stated when he pulled back, straightening.

Anna frowned. "Why?" she asked.

Yoh shrugged. "They said they wanted to start getting ready…" He trailed off, shrugging. "Or something."

An annoyed huff of air left her lips as she rolled her eyes, partially burying her head into the pillow.

The brunet laughed. "Come on," he said, brushing a blonde curl over her shoulder. "You know there's no way of escaping them."

"Sometimes, I think they actually believe I'd enjoy wasting an entire day looking into the mirror," she muttered, more to herself than to him, making him grin.

"Well, I suppose not every girl can look as perfect as you do when you wake up," he teased.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Flattery will get you nowhere," she let him know.

Yoh laughed. Then his smile slowly disappeared as he watched her, and memories of the night before began to flood his mind.

"I know that…" he started, and the seriousness in his voice, such a drastic change from the playful tone he had used earlier, made her look up at him, "I probably won't get an answer, but I have to ask. Last night… What was that, Anna?"

The blonde sighed and resignedly pushed herself into a sitting position, tucking her hair behind her ear as she faced him. She knew what he was doing, had realized it from the moment she noticed just how carefully his words had been selected. He was giving her a chance to back out of this predicament; but perhaps more importantly, he was expecting her to do exactly that.

And she was about to take complete advantage of that, but when she opened her mouth to speak, she found that she couldn't. She could lie to everybody, and hide from the entire world for as long as she wished – but being in the same room with Yoh, having him look at her the way he was looking at her now, disarmed her completely, and the only thing that kept her from breaking down crying into his chest was a strange mixture of pride and stubbornness that she had been tripping over for so many years.

She couldn't tell him – she couldn't, and she wouldn't, because she didn't _want_ that. But taking what she needed from him was too easy; Yoh would give her everything she asked for. Giving something in return, however, was harder, and it needed to be done. She had to give him _something_.

"I missed you," she said, her blue eyes searching his brown ones, as if begging him to understand, to stop pushing her further than she could go. "I did."

"I know," he answered evenly, unfazed.

She swallowed, averting her gaze for a moment, before continuing, "I find your presence to be… awfully reassuring." She struggled to push the words out. "You know this."

Yoh nodded. "And you need to be reassured of… something," he pressed.

_Yes,_ she wanted to say, _I need to be reassured of the fact that you are here, that I am not alone. _Instead, however, she simply leaned in and touched her lips to his in a gentle kiss. Her fingers traced his jaw-line as he slowly responded. His hand trailed up her leg and gently dragged it across his lap, before slowly inching its way upwards, under the hem of his shirt.

"I want to help you," he murmured against her lips, his eyes closed and his forehead resting against hers. His other hand cupped her cheek, his thumb drawing slow, gentle circles over the soft skin.

Anna hesitated. "Yoh, I…"

_"Yoh!"_ a loud shout from outside the room interrupted her, followed by a loud bang on the door. _"I asked you to look for Anna, not lock yourself in your room!"_

The blonde huffed an amused breath as she saw Yoh rolling his eyes uncharacteristically, dropping her forehead against his cheek. "I guess you were right… there _is_ no way of escaping them."

–

–

–

"What do you say?" the blue-haired Ainu prompted as she twirled in a circle, an excited grin playing on her lips.

She was wearing a simple, white dress with puffy sleeves and an intricate pattern on the back that left her skin exposed; the material reached down to her mid-thighs, and her legs were clad in a pair of golden, high-heeled shoes.

Yoh did not miss the way her gaze lingered more on Tao Ren, than on the girls that were supposed to give her an answer, and he grinned. He may be clueless, but his friend was even worse; she had been trying to catch his eye ever since they returned, and by now, he seriously began to wonder if she had a chance at all.

"Isn't it cute?" she encouraged.

"It's too short," her brother muttered underneath his breath, scowling.

"It is not!" Pirika answered with a defiance that had always been characteristic to her. "It's from Paris. Anna bought it for me."

"No," Tamao interfered. "She bought it and never saw it since. There's a difference."

Her voice was still soft and her participation was still rather hesitant, but she seemed to have gained more confidence in the time that he had been gone.

"Oh, come on," the blue-haired girl scoffed, rolling her eyes. "She has too many clothes, anyway. Remember when I used to say she has no style? Wow, misunderstanding of the century! I mean, she knows what to buy and how to wear it and – " she paused, turning to face Jun. "Have you seen her new shoes?"

Jun frowned. "What new shoes?" she inquired. Then she shook her head, raising her hands in the air in order to stop Pirika from continuing. "Wait. When did Anna go to Paris?"

"Last spring, remember? Oh, wait," she said, realization dawning on her. "You don't. You were on your own 'escapade' back then." She smiled. "Vlad used to be really sweet."

Jun rolled her eyes, pouting uncharacteristically as she leaned back into her seat. "He still is," she claimed. "But his father is _exploiting_ him! I mean, how long has it been since his last visit? Forever!"

"Stop whining," Ren grouched, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes," a new, feminine voice agreed from the doorway. Yoh leaned backwards just in time to see her rolling her eyes at his antics, before her attention returned to Jun. "If you miss him that much, then maybe you should be the one to pay him a visit this time."

Jun eyed her suspiciously. "You just want to get rid of me," she concluded after a moment.

"What was your first clue?" the blonde challenged, but refused to hear her answer, choosing instead to exit the living room.

Her footsteps sounded up the stairs a few moments later, and Yoh took that as his cue to follow her.

He found her in her room, facing her open wardrobe. Her long hair was pulled up in a thick ponytail, the honey strands curling in perfect ringlets; had he not witnessed the process firsthand while on their trip, he would have thought she had worked for hours to style it in that manner. She was still dressed in her outdoor clothes – a pair of blue, washed out jeans, simple black boots, a stripped, long-sleeved shirt and a matching scarf around her neck – and he found that she was even more beautiful like this, warm and cozy.

"Hey," he greeted, smiling at the sight of her barely-concealed scowl. "What are you so mad about?"

Anna spared him an exasperated look over her shoulder. "Take a guess."

He tried not to laugh. "Well, Pirika said it was tradition…"

"And you listen to Pirika," she concluded. "Because she and her brother have proved to be two very smart people…"

"I heard you went to Paris last year," he changed the subject, lest she slapped him for laughing.

"Yes, with me spare fiancé," she announced, turning so that she faced him fully, her arms crossed over her chest. "You know, since I couldn't be sure you would return alive, and a girl has to be prepared for everything…" she trailed off, rolling her eyes. "I'm sure you understand."

This time, he did laugh. It felt good to be around the Anna he knew and loved – the Anna who responded to everything with biting sarcasm. She was clearly annoyed, and it was a refreshing change from the vulnerability she had shown earlier that day.

Grinning, he crossed the room and closed the distance between them, leaning with one arm against the closet as he towered over her considerably smaller form.

Far from being intimidated, she looked up at him, an eyebrow raised.

"And if we spend a little time there and then sneak out?" he proposed.

She seemed surprised, but nonetheless pleased that he had figured out what was bothering her, and had so quickly found a solution.

"Just the two of us?" she asked, eyeing him with suspicion. "None of your stupid friends?"

"Just the two of us," he promised.

"Okay," she agreed, and all traces of discomfort seemed to disappear from her system like magic.

Yoh smiled. "Okay?"

She nodded. Then she frowned up at him, feigning annoyance. "Kiss me," she commanded.

Yoh grinned, and took his sweet time in landing his lips upon hers.

–

–

–

"What's up with Kyoyama?" Ren blurted out, finally unable to contain himself anymore. The question had been haunting his mind ever since they returned from the tournament, but between dealing with Horo-Horo, his hyperactive sister, and then his father, he had been unable to find the right time – and person – to voice it. Up until now, when, by some miracle, he found himself alone with his sister.

Said person frowned upon hearing him speak, not quite understanding the meaning of his words. "Anna? What's up with her?"

"That's what I'm asking, stupid," he grumbled, rolling his eyes.

Jun scowled at him. "Don't call me stupid!" she complained, giving him a hard smack over the arm. She received no reaction whatsoever from his part, but since that was to be expected, she paid little attention to it. "I know what you're asking," she continued, "I just can't see why you are. I don't see anything wrong with her, really."

"Not _wrong_," Ren clarified, shaking his head. "I didn't say _wrong_."

His sister's frown deepened. "Then what do you mean?" she asked, confused.

It took him a moment to answer her question. Truth to be told, he didn't exactly know what 'was up' with the blonde, which was the reason why he had decided to ask his sister, in the first place. He had thought that maybe she could it feel it, too – that something that he felt, but that he couldn't put into words properly.

"I don't know," he eventually admitted. "She's just… different."

It was Jun's turn to roll her eyes. "Duh, of course," she scoffed. "People change, Ren. She's not that much of an Ice Queen as she once used to be – that's probably what you're trying to tell me. The problem is, you have to use more words, and actually _form_ sentences – "

"Shut up," he hissed, ending her attempt at teasing him with an icy glare. "And I don't mean different meaning… _different_," he added after a small pause, his own frown marring his features.

Jun raised an eyebrow at his words, clearly not understanding what he was trying to tell her – and seriously starting to question his sanity by now.

"I mean, she _is_ different, in a sense," he continued, carefully choosing his words. "But what makes her so different is actually the fact that she seems quite familiar." He paused for a moment, then shrugged lightly. "Well… in a way. What?" he demanded, raising an eyebrow as he noticed just how pale his sister had gotten.

"Nothing," she answered, quickly – perhaps more quickly than she should have.

Ren had always been ridiculously smart, which was the main reason why she had been so shocked upon finding out that the Asakuras had managed to keep Anna's identity a secret for so long, without having him realize – or at the very least suspect something.

Same went for her. Only that, unlike her younger brother, her attention had always tended to be divided in ten different directions; mysteries such as these were not her domain.

But Ren… he was different. For some reason or another, he was now starting to make connections, and she was not sure on what level that was a good thing. Although Jun did not agree with the blonde's decision to continue to keep everything a secret, it was not her place to question her choices. Besides, she was her friend; it was her duty to support her.

"It's just that… you sound… stupid. And it worries me, really," she lied smoothly, shrugging her shoulders lightly.

He simply looked at her blankly. "You're an idiot," he stated in his usual blunt manner. "I'm serious."

"I know you are," she answered, sounding guarded, yet sincere at the same time. "That's what makes it even scarier."

Ren rolled his eyes, but decided not to press on the matter anymore. Jun knew something – there was no doubt in his mind that she did – but for some unknown reason, she refused to share it with him. It was rare for the two of them to keep secrets from each other, but he would not pressure her into telling him something she did not want to say; she was human, she had a right at privacy.

Besides, why would he do something like that, when he could always simply learn about it on his own? Kyoyama wasn't that hard to read, after all.

–

–

–

_A/N: Gah! I can't believe it's been so long! Forgive me? And in return, I shall try to get the next chapter out faster! _

_And now that we got that out of the way… well, an idea occurred to me! As you have probably already noticed, there are a lot of things that are – or will be – different in this story, so I decided to make a list and post it in the first chapter, so that everybody can refer back to it in case the plot gets confusing. Pieces of Me is kind of AU-ish, and for everything to work well, I need to make some changes; instead of making up even more new characters that will make everything even more confusing – and downright unappealing – I prefer to use what I've got. And to change what I've got. Haha!_

_Anyway, the list is up along with this chapter, so if you're interested, you can check it out. If you're not, then keep in mind that it exists. _

_Also, I've posted pictures of Anna's and Pirika's outfits on my profile. Initially, I said I wouldn't do so with this story, but I couldn't help myself. So, check them out! _

_Review, please! I've hard quite a hard time with this chapter, so I'd really like to hear your opinion!_

_P.S. Special thanks to **Maria**, **Left Eye**, **chromate**, **anly**, **PrincessLazyPants**, **Rie Mizuki**, and **Teri** for reviewing the last chapter!_


	8. All Fall Down

–

**Lost till you're found, swim till you drown,**

**Know that we all fall down.**

**Love till you hate, strong till you break,**

**Know that we all fall down.**

—_"All Fall Down" by One Republic_

–

The entire female population at school seemed to be abuzz with the return of the boys. They had always been popular, Anna recalled, especially Yoh. His tendency of falling asleep in classes and getting detention afterwards had earned him a reputation somewhat of a 'bad boy', while his laid-back mannerisms, his careless nature and clueless actions made him, the blonde supposed, 'cute'.

She believed the majority of the girls who were infatuated with him to be superficial, and thus never bothered with paying them attention unless they overstepped their boundaries.

Regardless, showing up with her hand held in his had disarmed most of the fans his new car had attracted.

"Oh, and the history teacher is just –"

Pirika took it upon herself to put everybody up to date with everything that had happened in the past two years, from new teachers to new formations. She was already in the middle of her monologue – and the occasional ruffle with her elder brother – when Yoh and Anna arrived. The blonde would have been thankful for that, because her fiancé had taught her to be thankful for the little things she encountered in life, but her head was swimming with thoughts, and her heart could no longer take another feeling on – not even if that feeling was happiness or contentment.

"And what in the world did you tell the principal, in the first place, to have you back like that?" she demanded, snapping her fingers.

The blonde already knew the answer, so she tuned her out. Apparently, they had all agreed to tell him that they had attended high-school in the USA in the time they had been gone, and Ren had whipped up false documents to prove their words. Anna was appalled when she found that her innocent, naïve fiancé had come up with the idea, but she soon recovered; she doubted he even knew what he had suggested.

Regardless, she knew better than to blame either one of them. After all, with the exception of the exigent Ren, they had all most likely learned more in the tournament than they would have had by sleeping through classes and barely passing exams.

The bell finally rang, and students began to crowd at the entrance of the school, eager to enter the building and continue their chatter in a warm classroom. Despite the snow that had piled over the surroundings – and that was still falling gently from the sky – everybody seemed to have chosen to gather outside. Anna herself preferred the peaceful scenery, even the cold, before the stuffed, too crowded atmosphere from the inside.

The blue-haired girl's chatter never faltered as they stood up from the benches they had claimed and started to make their way towards the building.

Anna took a moment to herself before she did the same. The truth was, she was not looking forward to this. There were questions marks floating all around her, and as comfortable as she had become in the presence of her fiancé and that of her so-called friends, she didn't quite feel ready to take on the world.

Taking a deep breath, she stood from her seat, smoothing down her skirt as she did so. Yoh was waiting patiently for her a few steps away, his signature grin plastered on his face. She couldn't muster a smile, but what unnerved her was that she didn't find the strength to even roll her eyes.

She took a step, and then stopped. A strong wave of dizziness hit her before she could make another sound, and her memory blacked out in an instant. She could barely register the feel of his arm wrapping around her waist, stabilizing her. She felt as though she was chocking for air for an eternity, when in fact, the whole ordeal couldn't have taken more than a second.

Yoh led her backwards to sit on the bench, asking her worried questions she couldn't understand, jumbled words she couldn't decipher.

Then everything came back to her in a rush. The world was suddenly in sharp focus once again; she could feel one hand on her leg, another titling her chin up, coaxing her to look at him. She allowed him that, but kept her eyes closed as she answered him breathlessly, "I'm fine."

"Anna, what's wrong?" he pressed, and she opened her eyes to see him crouched down in front of her. The campus was completely empty. "What was that?"

"I don't know. Dizziness. I'm fine," she repeated with a shrug.

Only that she wasn't fine. She was feeling lightheaded, and the pain in her chest, the hitch in her breathing, hardly showed any signs of receding.

"What do you mean dizziness? That's not normal!" He sounded almost hysterical, and although she knew she should reprimand him for that, her tone was resigned when she answered.

"I'm fine, Yoh." Straightening her posture, she took a deep breath, trying to reign in her heartbeat.

She looked down when she heard her fiancé sighing. There was a stubborn look in his eyes that ruined all of her plans to end the conversation.

"Anna, do you have something to tell me?"

"What?" What was he insinuating? She frowned. "I am not –"

Her speech was interrupted by a low buzz. He kept his hand on her leg as he pulled out his phone from his pocket, before heaving a resigned sigh and standing up; stepping away, he only answered the phone when he was out of earshot, and even then, the blonde could tell he was trying to keep his voice down. Any other time, the distance would have bothered her. But not now.

Letting her guard down, she hunched over, resting her elbows on her knees and driving her hands roughly through her thick hair. She closed her eyes for a minute, and focused on taking deep, even breaths. Once she felt that she had calmed down, she pushed her bangs out of her face and straightened, her eyes automatically sliding in Yoh's direction.

He was still talking on the phone, and he seemed as worried as he had been moments ago – distressed, even. As if sensing her gaze on him, he glanced back at her, his eyes showing a mixture of concern and – suspicion? Anna frowned. When had he stopped believing in the words that she said?

Sighing, she looked down and tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. It was as though the entire world was upside down that day, and quite frankly, she was already growing tired.

In the distance, she heard Yoh end the call, before footsteps began to approach her.

Resuming his position in front of her, he titled her chin up with his fingers. "Look at me," he encouraged. His eyes were warm and steady as she met them. "You know you can trust me, right?"

Anna frowned. "Yes, of course," she answered, without hesitation. "Why –"

"Can you promise me you'll never hide anything important from me? You're allowed to have secrets, I understand that, but please," he begged. "If it's important, you have –"

"Yoh!" she exclaimed, interrupting him. "What the hell is all this about?"

The brunet sighed. "Nothing," he said. Upon receiving a deadly look from his fiancée, he continued, "Nothing, really. I just… I needed to make sure." With yet another sigh, he stood up, holding his hand out for her. "Let's go get you something to eat or to drink – something to make you feel better. Then we'll come back to school. How does that sound?"

Anna pushed all the questions regarding his behavior away from her mind as she nodded, slipping her hand in his and standing up.

There was no more room in her head for doubts – not when they concerned the only person she knew she could trust with all her heart.

–

–

–

Pirika met them at the café after class, while the brunet was still trying – and failing – to figure out what had happened with his fiancée.

He had bought her some coffee and the color had returned to her cheeks, but she was still guarded and her reactions were still rather languid. Her entire demeanor was softer than usual, as though there was something on her mind that refused to let her concentrate on anything else.

Quite frankly, he was worried – much more worried than he let on. But he hid that for the sake of her well-being, because she didn't look capable of handling him and his curious inquiries at the moment.

"I was wondering where you two went!" the blue-haired girl complained, flopping down in a seat across from them with a pout on her face. "Skipping classes on the first day? Seriously?"

Yoh grinned at her observation, watching as his fiancée rolled her eyes, clearly discontented with her presence.

"I have something to do," he announced, and her blue eyes rose to meet his. "Will you be okay?"

She nodded, and allowed him to kiss her cheek before he rose from the table and made his way out of the small café.

As the door opened and the cold air hit his face, the hint of a smile pulling at his lips disappeared, and Yoh felt uncertain.

It had never occurred to him before, but for a moment, those blue eyes… He shook his head, dismissing the idea as soon as it came. Anna wouldn't lie to him. Anna knew she could trust him, and she had always done so. That was why she had opened up to him and that was why they had reached the level they had reached in their relationship.

And in the end… In the end, it wasn't even plausible. There were too many details, too many coincidences, too many aspects he couldn't – and wouldn't – doubt.

–

–

–

The moment her fiancé left the room, Pirika turned to face her with a wide grin on her features and a cheerful sparkle in her eyes.

"Aww, you two make me feel warm and fuzzy inside!" she exclaimed, barely holding in a squeal.

Anna remained silent, twirling the paper cup in her hands.

The blue-haired girl frowned at her lack of response, hardly used to such treatment. Having contrasting personalities, the two of them had not seen eye to eye on more than one occasion; however, the blonde had always spoken her mind loud and clear on the matters they disagreed on. She had always responded.

"Anna… what's wrong?" she asked, leaning forward in her seat, worried now. "You've been acting weird ever since they came back, and –"

That prompted a reaction. Her jaw tightened, and her blue eyes snapped up to meet hers. "This has _nothing_ to do with their return, and don't you dare for a second even _think_ about saying this in front of Yoh," she warned in a low voice.

"So you do admit there _is_ something," Pirika pressed.

Anna nearly snorted. "Of course there is. I wouldn't be upset without a reason."

She sighed. "I'm not going to ask you to speak to me about it. Of course, I'd love it if you did, but… but why don't you tell Yoh?" she advised. "He'll understand, no matter what it is. He loves you, Anna."

In response, she received a flat stare. "Pirika, how about you mind your own business?"

"Okay," she mouthed in annoyance, raising her hands in her defense and leaning back in her chair.

Silence covered them like a thick, tense blanket for a while, until the blonde shuffled to reach for her scarf.

"Are you coming back to school?" Pirika ventured as she watched her wrap the material around her neck.

Anna shook her head, slipping her coat on and preparing to stand up. "No. I'm going home."

"I'll walk with you," she said, springing up, as well.

Her voice was resigned when she answered, "Fine."

As the two of them walked out of the small café, the blonde felt thankful for the cold air that enveloped her body and the biting wind that whipped around her face. Although it had stopped snowing, the sky was still clouded over, and the temperature seemed to have dropped even further.

"Have you seen Haru and Daichi today?" Pirika inquired as they slowly made their way along the sidewalk, hands hidden in their pockets.

"No," Anna answered.

She laughed. "They are insane," she said. "I nearly died of laughter in homeroom."

The blonde looked wary as she raised her gaze from the pavement. "What did they do?"

"You don't want to know," Pirika laughed. "Seriously, I can't see how you managed to stand them for two weeks."

"I had experience with you," she supplied.

"Well, I suppose Yoh has always made idiotic friends, but come on, we're not that bad!"

"Your brother is."

"And Ren, too," she agreed, smiling. "I swear… If he wasn't so cute, he'd be _such_ a jerk."

"He is a jerk," the blonde deadpanned.

Pirika rolled her eyes, smiling brightly. "Yes, well – Hey, there's Jun!" she exclaimed, her grin widening as she caught sight of her across the road. "Jun!" she yelled, waving to catch her attention.

Anna rolled her eyes, coming to a stop as they waited for the Tao mistress to cross the street and join them. Truth to be told, she was still not on very good terms with her. It bothered her that she knew about her problem, that she had the certainty that she was not alright. It bothered her that she couldn't lie to her. Jun could see right through her without even making an effort, could name the cause of her behavior and could tune in with her feelings perfectly. It was as though she could read her like an open book, and the blonde felt rightfully vulnerable around her.

Not only that, but the woman had made it clear that she was _not_ of the same opinion as her, that she did _not_ agree to how she had chosen to handle the situation, and because of that, Anna had to admit that she was rather wary of her presence. She wanted to help, and that made the more dangerous. Who knew when she decided that helping her would mean telling Ren – or worse, Yoh – her secret?

"Hey, girls," she greeted, smiling widely. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I, for one," Pirika started as the large building that housed their classes came into view, "am going back to school. Anna, here, is skipping the first day because she's cooler than the rest of us."

The blonde rolled her eyes as her speech brought a laugh out of Jun.

"Is that so?" she said, amused.

"Totally," the blue-haired girl answered, nodding. "Well, I'm off! _Please_ knock some sense into her and make her understand that Yoh loves her," she added in an exasperated tone, sending her friend a pleading look. "I would appreciate that like you wouldn't believe."

With that, she was gone, turning her back to them and rapidly walking the remaining distance to the gates that separated the large campus from the rest of the world. A tense silence fell over the two remaining women with her departure, and Anna briefly wondered when the last time she felt such murderous intent towards the younger Ainu sibling had been.

She was unable to find an answer in time, however, because Jun spoke after mere moments, "You didn't tell him, did you?"

The blonde pretended not to understand what she was asking. "What?"

"Yoh," she clarified. "You didn't tell him about your family."

Anna nonchalantly tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Of course I didn't."

Jun heaved a sigh. "Anna, what the hell?" Although her words were harsh, she sounded more exhausted than annoyed – as though she was tired of trying to bring her on the right track. "He's supposed to be your fiancé."

"Well, the simple fact that he's my fiancé doesn't give him the right to know everything about me!" she snapped, even when she herself didn't believe her words. "I am not obligated to tell him every single little banal thing that happens to me just because he put a ring on my finger!"

"Why do you always see everything as an obligation?" Jun demanded, coming to an abrupt stop. The street was nearly empty now that the bell had rung and snow had started to fall yet again from the sky. "Have you heard of unconditional trust, unconditional love? He deserves to know about this because he _loves_ you! Because he cares about you and because his biggest objective – in case you haven't realized it yet – is to make you happy. To protect you and to give you everything you need, everything you want, everything he can!"

"I didn't ask for that, Jun!" she hissed, glaring at her. "I never did!"

"It's not about you _asking_ for something, woman!" she exclaimed, desperate. "It's about loving somebody so much that it seems like giving them everything is the only option you have! And it's very hard to love somebody who doesn't appreciate an ounce of your efforts, Anna! It's very hard to love somebody who so openly states that they can do just fine on their own. It's very hard to love somebody who doesn't _want_ to be loved!"

Anna blinked up at her, stupefied. "Where did you get the idea that I don't want to be loved?"

Jun rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Every fiber of your being is screaming it, Anna. Every action, every word… What you need is somebody who would treat you impassively, who wouldn't care about your problems; somebody who wouldn't bug you, who wouldn't push for details, who wouldn't go out of his way to please you. Somebody who would shrug at your refusal to share your life with him. Somebody who would treat you with the same indifference that you treat him. Yoh isn't that person. And sometimes, I wonder why you're holding onto him so desperately. Unless, of course, all you do is put up a façade. But either way, one thing is clear: you don't _deserve_ him, Anna. And you can get mad at me and not talk to me for the rest of our lives, but that right there, is the truth."

With that, she turned around and stormed off in the opposite direction, leaving the blonde to gape after her, scandalized. Her words rattled her; when was the last time someone had spoken to her like that? Regardless, all Anna did was clench her jaw and turn away.

"What is her problem?" she hissed under her breath, ignoring the way her words resounded in her head over and over.

–

–

–

The next time she saw Jun was that evening. She was in her room, lying on her bed, finishing up a chapter she had started to read the day before, and the Tao mistress, contrary to her manners, entered the room without even waiting for a response to her knock.

Anna glanced up from her book, her expressionless façade cracking slightly as annoyance flitted across her eyes. "What do you want?" she demanded, returning her gaze on the pages before her.

There was nothing of what the woman had told her that had been news to her. Anna knew perfectly well she didn't deserve Yoh. He had always been way up high, while all she ever did was bring problems. She had worked to become worthy of him – had worked hard in every aspect. In a certain measure, she liked to believe she had achieved her goal, but not entirely. Yoh would forever be too good to her, and she had come to terms with that.

That, however, was not to say she would allow Jun – or anybody else, for that matter – to come to her and scream that into her face, not when they knew nothing of their relationship and nothing of her life. No one understood – and that was the exact reason why Anna was so reticent, so dismissive, so unwilling to let them help. It was easy for them to tell her what to do when they couldn't see the whole picture, when they couldn't see what was happening in her heart.

"I want to talk to you."

Heaving a sigh, the blonde shut her book and stood, making her way across the room to retrieve it to its original place. "Make it quick," she said. "I don't have time for you."

Jun rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall. "I thought you might want to know what happened, what it was with everything you've been feeling for these past few days. Because you _have_ been feeling discomforted, am I right?"

It surprised her that she had caught on that, disconcerted her even, but Anna wasn't going to make the same mistake twice – she wasn't going to let her guard down around Jun again. Perhaps she was a good friend, but rather than dealing with her advices, she preferred to make it on her own.

"Oh, so you know about that, too," she remarked, nodding sardonically. She kept her back to her, pretending to be interested in another book. "You know everything, don't you?"

"Remember your brother?" Jun asked, ignoring her. "I told you about him."

Anna shrugged, slipping the book back in its place. "Well, it's the only way I could remember him."

"He had an accident. He was almost killed, actually."

Jun watched carefully for a reaction – a reaction that never came. Anna never gasped, never turned to face her. She never demanded to hear more. The woman shook her head disbelievingly. How could she be so cold?

"Right, sorry." Blinded by frustrated annoyance, she missed the way her entire posture had stiffened. "I forgot you didn't give a damn."

The door slammed behind her loudly as she exited the room, but the sound barely registered in the blonde's mind.

She stood frozen for a long time, her mind unable to wrap around the news she had been given. She was unsure of how she should react. She didn't know what to feel, what to think, what to do. The rational part of her told her that she shouldn't care. She didn't even know the man Jun was talking about. She didn't know how he looked like, how he was like – she didn't know him. So, why should she care?

But in reality, it was more complicated than that. Unreasonably, she felt scared. She felt curious and apprehensive. She had no way of finding out what had happened, and that was driving her crazy.

Slowly, as though in a daze, she pushed away from the bookshelf. Sinking down on the bed, she let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. Her heart clenching painfully in her chest, despair pooling in the pit of her stomach, she curled up against the headboard, running a hand through her hair.

Of course, _that_ was what she had been feeling for so long now. A foreboding. Even with him miles away, she had known – she had known he was in danger. She had known something bad would happen. And that morning… what Yoh was talking about on the phone…

A lone tear escaped her eye, trailing down her cheek, unnoticed. Her breathing suddenly became heavy, her heartbeat irregular. Her hands were trembling.

How complicated was this situation? But more importantly, what had happened to her brother? Who had hurt him? Anna didn't know what pained her more, but something was tearing her apart on the inside.

For the first time since she found out the truth, Anna cried. She buried her head into her arms and cried. Silent sobs wrecked her body, endless tears slipping from her eyes, while her hands clenched in her hair. Her chest felt heavy, her heart was clenching so hard at times she was afraid it might burst.

At some point, she was unsure how much later, after she had slipped down so she was lying in bed, there was a soft knock at her door.

"Anna," Yoh's voice carried through in the room, a voice so familiar and soothing that she almost lost her grip on the last bit of control she had left.

But she didn't want his presence – not now. "Go away," she breathed, squeezing her eyes shut and burying her face into her pillow as pain rippled through her.

There was no one who could help her now.

And for the first time in a long while, she actually wished there was.

–

–

–

Anna asked to drive the following morning on their way to school. She wanted to keep her mind off her current predicament so badly that she could hardly find any other activity to throw herself into. If she stood still for a mere second, every torturous thought would come back to haunt her. The night before, she had swallowed almost half a bottle of pills in order to fall asleep, and yet, she had been the first to awaken, when the first rays of sun were barely spilling over the horizon.

It was pure chaos, the rhythm she had been living at for the past few days, and she was truly afraid that there would come a time when something inside of her would snap – when mundane tasks such as driving or writing homework would no longer prevent reality from catching up with her.

Turned out, driving kept her a bit too busy that particular morning.

"Seriously," she muttered, making a small noise of discontentment in the back of her throat, "Why couldn't get a proper car – with a proper gearbox?"

Yoh laughed from beside her as he stretched lazily in his seat. "Hey, at least it isn't orange."

"Why _isn't_ it orange?" she asked.

"Well, I thought you'd kill me," he confessed, still shaking with laughter. "And if you didn't kill me, then you certainly wouldn't like it very much."

With a roll of her eyes, she came to a smooth stop before a traffic light.

Yoh continued to gaze at her without restrictions, the amusement and carelessness in his eyes gradually replaced by worry.

"Are you okay?" he eventually asked, his voice soft – soothing.

"Sure," she answered as nonchalantly as she could, turning her head briefly to look at him. "Why?"

Confusion and suspicion flooded his eyes, but his voice remained even. It was obvious to him that she had enough problems as it was.

"I tried to talk to you last night, but you didn't answer the door."

"My head hurt," she said. "I went to sleep early."

He seemed to accept her explanation. "Your eyes are red," he observed after a moment of silence.

"I accidentally slipped mascara in this morning," she lied smoothly.

Yoh smiled. "In both of them?"

The blonde's hand tightened on the steering wheel. He didn't sound patronizing or sarcastic, but rather, simply bemused at her attempts to fool him.

There was no comeback from her part as the light turned green and she turned left to reach their destination. The rest of the way was spent in silence. It was only when she had pulled in a vacant parking spot and was preparing to exit the car that he spoke, grasping her hand before she could open the door.

"Look at me," he whispered, and immediately, her eyes were drawn to his like a magnet. "I will always be here for you when you need me."

Her eyes searched his for a long moment, before they abruptly looked away, the burning sensation that manifested upon her realization forcing her to blink rapidly. She felt his lips touch the soft skin of her hand when she gave a silent nod, understanding. How could she not? The meaning was clear.

–

–

–

The feel of a cool hand sliding gently over his forehead greeted him as he slowly returned to the world of consciousness. His eyelids fluttered open, revealing two slightly disorientated blue orbs, and he blinked once, twice, in order to clear his blurred vision. Turning his head to the side, he was met with warm amber eyes and golden blonde hair.

"Mom," he rasped, his voice hoarse from disuse.

Her entire expression softened at the sound of his voice; her eyes filled with tears, and she had to bite down on her lip to contain her sob. "Sweetie," she whispered, brushing unruly locks of dirty-blond hair away from his face. "How are you feeling?"

It took him a moment to pinpoint the sensation running through his veins. "Like shit," he answered.

"Shh," she murmured, smiling. "Your father is outside."

Had he had the strength, he would have rolled his eyes. Instead, he swallowed, his brows furrowing at the itch that ensued.

"Do you want some water?" she offered, as though able to read his thoughts.

Christopher nodded, his gaze trailing after her as she crossed the room to pour him a glass of water. He pushed himself into a sitting position in the meantime, holding back a curse when he felt his sore body jump with pain at the movement.

"Careful," she warned, handing him the chilled glass. "You don't want to reopen that."

"I bet I don't," he muttered under his breath, before taking a sip of the refreshing liquid.

Lindsee smiled, and waited for him to finish drinking before she took the glass back and set it on the small nightstand beside his bed.

"My head hurts," he complained as he snuggled back into the pillow. "Why does my heard hurt?"

"Because you hit it quite hard, that's why," she explained, earning a small whine from her son.

Her eyes softened as she watched him. For a moment, she had thought she would lose him – and what was left of her world crumbled down to pieces. She didn't know what she would do if someone were to take Christopher away from her. She would not be able to bear the pain of losing another child. She was simply not strong enough for that.

"Sweetheart, you can't continue to do this to me," she murmured gently, pleadingly, taking a seat next to him on the bed and covering his hand with her own.

The boy looked up at her and blinked, genuinely confused. "What are you talking about? It's the first time I do this."

"Chris, you know what I mean," she insisted. "You promised me you would stay safe."

"I'm trying," he answered.

"You didn't promise me you'd try. You promised me you would."

"Mom," he whined. Having this discussion with her was the last thing he wanted to do now, but the stubborn, stern look in her eyes told him she wouldn't stop until she heard what she wanted to hear. In one last attempt, he shot her a pleading look, begging for understanding, but then rolled his eyes as she remained unmoved.

His answer, when it came, was simple. "Then stop forcing me to make promises I can't keep."

For a moment, she was silent, unable to believe what he had told her. "Is that so?" she eventually whispered.

His eyes softened at her reaction, and he held back a groan.

Lindsee swallowed and nodded, as though understanding. "What should I do now? Apologize for loving you? For caring about you? I can't, Chris, and I won't. You are my son. And no matter how many problems you encounter and how much you grow, how strong you become and how much distance you put between us, I will continue to worry about you."

Grasping her hand within his, he heaved a sigh. "I know," he said. "I'm sorry. It'll be over someday. But it's not like I'm doing this on purpose. Shit happens – there are aspects I can't control."

"That was very eloquent, indeed."

Lindsee turned at the sound of her husband's deep voice, the silent, muted whine from her son bringing a small smile to her face.

"Dad," he greeted, blue eyes watching apprehensively as he advanced inside the room, coming to stand beside his mother. He placed a hand over her back, and a silent conversation seemed to pass between them as they gazed at each other; eventually, his mother smiled, and turned her attention back to him.

The moment his father's gaze fell upon him once again, Christopher scampered for a way out. He turned pleading eyes towards his mother. "Mom, I'm not feeling very well. I think you need to give me something, 'cause…"

"Oh, yes, this ability of yours to become sick on the spot is truly remarkable," Anthony noted, making his son cringe and his wife laugh lightly.

"Just go back to sleep, sweetheart," she advised, smiling gently. "You need your rest. Everything else we'll have time for after you recover."

With a nod and another heavy sigh, Christopher complied, closing his eyes and allowing his body to relax into the mattress.

The last thing he remembered was his mother's hand running soothingly through his hair.

–

–

–

He was already in the study room when she entered, her subtle, yet imposing, presence filling the room – or perhaps only his mind. He lifted his head off the table to see her, watching as she gracefully walked the distance to him. She looked perfect, as always – but there was something in her eyes, something that, he could tell, continued to bother her.

Slipping past him, she removed her coat and took a seat beside him, next to the radiator. She refused to acknowledge him as she unwrapped the scarf from around her neck, and he laid his head back on his folded arms.

She eventually spared him a glance, pulling her long hair over one shoulder.

"What?" she demanded.

He simply grinned, shrugging. "Nothing."

She rolled her eyes. "How about you try not to be an idiot for ten seconds?" she suggested. "Oh, wait. No, that's too much. Five."

He laughed – cheerfully, carelessly – causing her to roll her eyes once again as she leaned with the back against the radiator, curling up like a lazy cat in the heat it gave off.

There was silence for a while. He continued to watch her with a fondness and adoration in his eyes that was hard to describe, and she busied herself with her phone, ignoring him.

Pirika made an appearance before the bell rang, carrying two Starbucks cups.

"I've got hot chocolate!" she sang, slipping into the seat across from them and handing Anna one of the cups. "I would have gotten you an Ice Pick, really, because you look so out of your element right now, but then I thought it's too cold, and they probably wouldn't let me in with it."

"Probably?" Anna jeered, raising an eyebrow.

Yoh laughed silently. Although he knew she was sometimes genuinely appalled as she looked around herself and realized that she had so little in common with her friends, her tendencies – and the ways she chose to point that out – were too cute for him to resist.

The sudden sound of a chair scraping lightly against the floor brought him back from his thoughts, and he lifted his head to see Ren taking a seat beside Pirika at the table.

The blue-haired girl smiled, her cheeks rosy, and shared a look with his fiancée, who simply rolled her eyes and leaned back against the radiator.

"You're back!" he greeted him with a grin. "How's he?"

"Better," Ren answered. "He's back to being the same idiot we all know."

Anna froze in her action of bringing the cup of hot chocolate to her lips, blue eyes immediately darting towards her fiancé. Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart started to beat faster – aspects she couldn't control, no matter how much she tried. Swallowing, she attempted to play down her reaction, hoping that neither Pirika nor Ren had noticed it from the corner of their eyes.

She couldn't emphasize how important it was for this to remain a secret; not even she could fully grasp the concept. She didn't know what she would do if someone were to find out.

On the other hand, Yoh laughed, looking completely at ease as he stretched, leaning back into his seat. "Did he tell you what happened?"

Ren hesitated, and although her head was down for safety reasons, Anna could tell that he had glanced at both her and Pirika meaningfully. "Yes," he answered at length.

"Well –"

The bell rang, and whatever idea Yoh might have had remained unsaid.

Anna was unsure of whether she should feel relieved or annoyed.

Both Ren and Pirika stood, and with a final goodbye, headed to their classes, leaving Yoh and Anna alone. He turned to face her after they had left the room, brown eyes warm and grin in place.

"Are we staying here?" he asked.

Anna took a moment to breathe in before she answered him with a slight shake of her head, "No, but go ahead. I want to remain here a bit more."

"Mkay," he agreed, stretching with his arms above his head, before standing up and recollecting his coat from the back of his chair. "I'll wait for you outside."

The blonde gave a silent nod; her blue eyes watched his departure, and once he was out of the room, she leaned forward in her seat and ran her hands through her hair.

Anna had realized, from the moment she had found out about her brother from Jun and remembered the incident from that same morning, that Yoh knew about this – that he knew about her family. Upon further reflection, she realized that she should have never been surprised by the information. He was Shaman King; it was impossible for him _not_ to be informed. But that raised a whole set of new questions.

How had Yoh met her brother? What had happened to her brother? What could have possibly been so important for Ren to fly halfway across the world and for so much curiosity to be stirred within her otherwise lazy fiancé? If the three knew each other, than they must have something in common. And if the Tao had rushed to see him – leaving the fact that they were, according to Jun, friends aside – Anna could only conclude that that something they had in common was important – perhaps more important than she could dare to admit, than her mind could grasp at this point.

But then again, if something was of such high importance, Yoh would tell her, right?

He couldn't possibly know who she was. He had suspected something the other day, the blonde had seen, but he had been convinced by her words. He had no reasons to suspect otherwise… none of what she knew. Therefore, perhaps the reason why he hadn't informed her of any of this was because he didn't know about her connection with that man – because he didn't know he was her brother.

But the conversations on the phone? The glances shared with Ren? The Tao had hesitated before he answered the question he had been asked mere moments before, and although Yoh had been the one to start the conversation, Anna couldn't base her conclusions solely on that. Yoh was himself; he was careless, he was naïve, he was laidback. He could have simply made a mistake.

Ren, on the other hand, used to know that between the two of them, between her and her fiancé, there were no secrets. He used to speak his mind around them without a care in the world. If he had something he wished to say to Yoh and Anna was there, he wouldn't hesitate, because he knew the brunet had nothing to hide from her. So, what had made him doubt this time?

With a heavy sigh, Anna leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes. In the end, the conclusion was the same. She couldn't doubt Yoh. She couldn't doubt the only person she knew she could trust.

She couldn't doubt him, because that would mean doubting her entire world.

–

–

–

She heard him talking from the empty corridor.

"Hey, man. How are you? Yeah, I heard about that. Who didn't?"

Her steps slowed, almost involuntarily, but Yoh noticed her the moment she stepped out of the school, grinning widely at her as he beckoned her over. She accepted the offer, moving closer, yet not close enough to close the distance between them. Crossing her arms over her chest, she watched him. It was painfully obvious who was on the other line.

"Your mother?" he laughed. "I imagine."

Leaning against the cold cement railing, she looked down. She didn't know what she wanted more – to hear their conversation, or to tune it out. She chewed on her bottom lip. The indecision – along with everything else – was slowly but surely tearing her apart.

Feeling his gaze upon her, she raised her head to meet his eyes. And in an instant, every problem in the world melted away. He grinned at her – that warm, loving, fond grin he seemed to save only for her – and she couldn't even roll her eyes as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, well, try not to get yourself killed again, alright? That would be cool. Good."

He finished the call with a goodbye, and then closed the distance between them, bending down to kiss her lightly on the lips as his warm hands gently cupped her face.

"Sorry," he apologized when they pulled away, brushing their noses together.

She nodded, and he stepped back. Resting her hands on either side of her body, she looked up at him.

"What was that about?" she asked softly. She sent a small thank you to above for not letting him feel her insecurity.

"A friend, from the tournament," he answered simply, twirling a lock of blonde hair around his finger. "He had a car accident… and almost died."

Her throat tightened. "Is he alright?"

"Yeah." He nodded, and then grinned. "I've never heard anybody complain so much. I figure that if he has the strength to whine, then he'll be fine."

Standing up, she crossed her arms over her chest once again, looking up at him tentatively. "You sounded… close."

Yoh shrugged, reaching for her hand. "Yeah, well… when you spend so much time with a person and go through all kinds of stuff with them… you become close even if you don't want to. It's the same thing that happened with Horo-Horo and Ren and, well, everybody else. Let's just say our group expanded."

"…Right," she murmured in agreement, nodding.

A frown slowly replaced his grin as he gave her an once-over. "You don't look good, Anna," he noted after a moment of contemplation.

"Thank you." The blonde rolled her eyes, annoyed.

"You know exactly what I meant," he replied bravely, pulling her closer. "Why are you this pale? Have you eaten anything today?"

Her nod didn't fool him.

"You have to eat something."

He stroked her cheek tenderly, his eyes watching her gently, and she wanted to burst into tears – to bury her face into his chest and forget about the world.

"Take me home," she whispered.

"Alright." He looked positively scared when he took her hand and began to lead her down the stairs. "Come on."

–

–

–

"You okay?" Yoh asked once they had pulled on the main road, sending her a worried look.

Anna heaved a sigh as she leaned her head against the headrest, closing her eyes for a brief second. The dull pain in the back of her head that had been present since morning had intensified significantly over the past minutes, reaching higher and higher, until it became almost unbearable.

Knowing that its presence was obvious on her face was disconcerting, but she chose to ignore that aspect, since it was something of less importance at this point.

"My head is pounding," she replied. It had become quite a familiar phrase, she concluded, having been gravitating around her for almost a week now. She wasn't sleeping well, she wasn't eating well, the snow had become positively blinding, and every single problem seemed to affect not only emotionally, but also physically. She supposed she could understand the connection, but she really just wanted the pain to stop. "So no, I'm not okay."

"Um, I think you can find some pills in the glove-box," he suggested after a moment of contemplation.

Anna frowned in his direction, since Yoh used to stray away from medicine as though it was the devil impersonated, but pushed the matter aside in favor of searching for something to relieve the pounding in her head. Leaning forward in her seat, she opened the glove-box, as instructed, rolling her eyes as mountains of messily stacked CDs came into view. A sarcastic remark – something about how in the world she was even supposed to find the pills in there – was on the tip of her tongue, but she never opened her mouth to voice it. She hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to start, before digging her hand in the contents.

Instead of stumbling over a box of painkillers, however, she stumbled over something else – something heavy, wrapped in a dark, suede cloth. Frowning, she pulled it out of the glove-box, dropping it to her lap in surprise when she realized what exactly it was.

"Yoh…" she started, still staring down, stunned, "What is this? Why do you have a gun?" she demanded, looking at him.

The brunet merely spared her a glance. "It's not mine," he explained. "It's Ren's. His father gave it to him or something."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I doubt that," she said. "Why is it in your car?"

"He must have forgotten it here," he reasoned, shrugging his shoulders uncaringly. His foot pressed down on the brake pedal as he flicked the signal lights on and made a left turn.

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah?" she challenged. "Does he use it often?"

Yoh frowned, glancing briefly at her. "What are you accusing me of?"

"I'm not accusing you!" she defended, her own brows furrowing. "I'm trying to get some answers."

"And I'm giving them to you," he answered calmly. "And you keep rejecting them and interpreting them your own way."

"Are you getting _defensive_ on me, Yoh Asakura?"

He fell silent at her sudden accusation, his hands clenching on the steering wheel.

Anna watched him carefully with suspicious, yet confused, eyes. There was nothing about his demeanor that would tell an ordinary person that he was disgruntled, but she was no ordinary person; she knew him. She was good at reading people, and she was even better at reading Yoh – so much better that even the smallest reaction caught her attention.

He wasn't looking at her, and that wasn't because he was paying attention to the road. No, it was because he _refused_ to look at her.

"You're blocking me out," she stated after a moment of quiet deliberation.

"What?" he asked, frowning.

"I can't read your mind," she snapped.

"That's not my fault!" he defended.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said, and dropped the gun in the glove-box with a palpable indifference. Leaning back in her seat, she crossed her arms over her chest. "Stop at a pharmacy. There's nothing here, and I need something."

"There's one here," he announced, pulling over. "I'll go." He unbuckled his seatbelt and exited the vehicle without another word, the door swinging shut behind him.

The blonde heaved a sigh, dropping her head against the headrest. What was she doing? She was overreacting and being completely irrational – and not only now. She had been doing this for the entire week. Yoh had always given her an answer to her every question; there was no reason for her to doubt him. Besides, she was well-aware of the fact that En had a side of his personality that she herself had never seen. Although he seemed to love his children more than anything in the world, Anna could not simply forget about the childhood they had had, the stories she had heard. Underneath that caring father figure, there was a totally different man who knew when to make an appearance. And who knew what trouble they had gotten themselves into? It wasn't her problem, in any case.

The door opened, and Yoh slipped inside, handing her a box of pills. Anna merely turned her head to the side, accepting the offer with a soft-spoken, "Thank you."

"You alright?" he asked again as he turned the key into ignition, looking at her with a mixture of worry and curiosity on his features.

Anna nodded. "Yeah," she said.

He pulled back on the main road then, and as the scenery changed from towering skyscrapers and busy roads to large mansions and the occasional car passing in the opposite lane, silence fell like a blanket over them. It was only when the car pulled up in front of the inn that it was broken.

"Ren and I are leaving today," Yoh announced as he came to a smooth stop before the gates, making his fiancée turn to face him with a mild furrow between her eyebrows.

"Leaving where?" she asked.

"Out of town," he answered. The suspicious part of her wondered if he was being deliberately vague, idea which she dismissed in an instant. Was Yoh even capable of being vague? The answer was no. "We have some things to solve, so we'll be gone for a few days. Three at most, I think."

She raised an eyebrow. "What things?"

This time, Yoh scratched his head and let out a sigh. "How about I tell you everything when I get back?" he suggested. "It's the longest story ever, and you said your head hurts…"

"Even if my head hurts, I believe I am the only one entitled to decide that I want to hear and what not," she said, speaking slowly, as though she wanted to make herself crystal clear. Then she rolled her eyes. He was lucky she had too much on her mind at the moment. "But whatever. If that's what you want, we can talk about it when you return."

He grinned at her lovingly. "Great," he said.

Anna heaved a sigh as the pain in her head decided to make its presence known yet again. "I'm leaving," she announced, and prepared to open the door, only to have his voice stop her.

"Get some sleep, alright?" he suggested. The blonde raised an eyebrow, and he shrugged in his defense. "You're pale. I'm worried about you."

"Well, don't," she snapped, irritated. "I can take care of myself."

Yoh grinned. "I never said you couldn't."

Her eyes narrowed at his response. "Stop trying to be a smartass with me, Yoh," she advised and opened the door, slipping out of the car – though not before hearing his laughter.

As the door shut behind her and she turned to walk towards the house, she couldn't help the small smile that tugged at her lips.

That cheerful laugh soothed every cell and relaxed every muscle in her body.

No matter what happened, that would never change.

–

–

–

When the blonde entered her room, she found a large box, covered with pink wrapping paper and with a large, obnoxious, red bow on top, lying innocently onto her bed.

She raised an eyebrow. Lowering her bag to the floor, she slowly made her way towards the source of her attention, the wheels in her head turning as she tried to make sense of what was happening. Taking a seat on the bed, she wasted no time in untying the bow and taking the lid off. When the box was open, she was greeted by red silk and golden glitter, tiny particles adhering to the material, while others rose into the air and gently swooned to the mattress. A note – black, hard paper – sat on top.

After shaking off the glitter that clung to it with a mildly irritated glare, the blonde flipped it open.

_Happy Birthday! _

_This is an offer of peace, yes. You were right. That was – and continues to be – none of my business. You'll come around once you want to._

_And since you're seventeen now, and one year older, I expect that to be pretty soon._

_Wear these tonight. (And no, I didn't tell anybody it's your birthday, chill!)_

_Love,  
Jun_

Frowning, despite the softness of her eyes, she gently parted the silk, revealing a pair of beautiful, red high-heels. Anna heaved a sigh as she lifted them out of the box. There was no doubt in her mind that they were expensive, designer-signed. She almost rolled her eyes. It was hard to stay mad at a person who did nice things for you. It was even harder not to stay mad at a person you wanted to avoid, though.

Setting her present on the mattress, beside her, she frowned down at the box – whose surprises were, apparently, not over. Inside, at the very bottom, partially covered by tiny particles of glitter, there was another envelope – a white one this time. Heaving yet another sigh, she picked it up and promptly flapped it open, eager to reveal its contents and get this over with. She had never been fond of surprises.

When the thin piece of paper hidden in the envelope was finally in her hands, her breath caught in her throat, and she very nearly dropped it.

It was a picture. A picture of a boy and a girl, sitting together on a couch, sharing a large, silver tinsel garland as Christmas decorations lay around them. In the background, a large window overlooked snowy hills and dark skies, heavy snowflakes descending. The children, however, cared little about the weather outside. They were both smiling at the camera.

The boy with startling blue eyes was grinning; his hair was a light brown, almost a dark blond shade, and sticking up in every direction. The girl's appearance was neater. She was wearing her long, light blonde hair in a high ponytail, the curling strands hovering over her shoulder as she smiled sweetly at the camera.

Flipping the photograph over, she found out that Jun had left her a message.

_P.S. Perhaps this will be more valuable._

–

–

–

_A/N: Yay, quick update and long chapter! Well, relatively quick update… Anyway, haha!_

_The plot is thickening – will continue to thicken over the next chapters, actually – so it may seem like a lot of information to take in at once, but when things calm down, everything will be explained. So, no worries about that! _

_Anyway, this chapter was centered mainly on Anna beginning to grasp the magnitude of the problem – and beginning to doubt the fundaments of her entire world in the process. Basically, she's confused, she doesn't know what to think, what to do… She's beginning to notice some things that had never stood out before. Because this "problem" has been out there all along, only that she hadn't been aware of it. She's clueless and suspicious at the same time, she doesn't really know what changed and what didn't. Everything about her is conflicted. So if you noticed that kind of air around her, then I did a good job. Haha!_

_Study rooms! I imagine study rooms like some kind of mini-libraries, only not really, where students can go when they have a free period and do homework/read/sleep/whatever. I hear a lot of private schools have them, so I supposed it would be fitting. _

_Now, please review! Some feedback would be greatly appreciated after this monster of a chapter, haha!_

_P.S. Special thanks to **PrincessLazyPants**, **karma eater**, **chashkieh**, **mk**, **i love pusa**, **Culebra del Sol **and **RockStarAnimeLover **for reviewing the last chapter! _


	9. What Hurts the Most

**–**

**You see, life is a crazy thing…**

**There'll be good times**

**And there'll be bad times**

**And everything in between…**

_—"Please Don't Stop the Rain" by James Morrison_

–

By the time February rolled around, life was calmer – at least for Anna. She still had trouble waking up every day without having _one_ thought about her problem cross her busy mind, but at least her head wasn't pounding every time they did anymore.

"You know what? On my birthday, I want you to wear _pink_!"

That was the statement that coaxed her to return her attention to the conversation taking place around her. She looked up to see Pirika, with her elbows on the table and her hands underneath her chin, grinning angelically at the two girls present.

She raised an eyebrow in slight amusement when she realized that the words she had heard belonged to her.

"I mean it!" she defended upon seeing her expression. "Something bright and colorful!" She paused, and rolled her eyes. "Okay, it can be red. But really, girls, you need to step it up!"

They were at a small café across the road from the school, enjoying a couple of hot drinks on such a freezing day, and the blue-haired Ainu would simply _not_ stop talking about the birthday party she was organizing for herself; she had taken a liking to celebrating her birthday with style, which was not surprising to Anna, due to her rather eccentric personality, and now she usually started to plan it in her head months before.

"I'm leaving now, I have a million things to solve," she announced. "But keep in mind what I said, alright?"

No one seemed to bother to acknowledge her piece of advice, least of all the blonde, so the table fell silent after she took her leave. That, until a frustrated, strangled sound came from one of the men present, making her raise her head from the screen of her phone. Haru and Daichi, who seemed to have been forced to join them earlier on, were playing a game, and apparently, the latter had lost – something he did not take very well.

"Who bought you smart-phones?" the blonde muttered under her breath, shaking her head.

Almost in response, she heard Yoh snort from beside her. Glancing in his direction, she saw that he had his earphones in – but another change she had observed in him over the weeks that passed was the fact that he no longer seemed to ever be unaware of the world around him. No matter what he did, he was listening – he was watching, he was drawing conclusions. She wanted to think it was because he was aware of the responsibility placed upon his shoulders, because he had acquired more knowledge, because handling the Great Spirit was no easy task and because watching over an entire world was not something that he took lightly. But, sometimes, she wondered if it had to do with something else.

Nevertheless, she was grateful for the change. He was different, yet in so many ways, he was the same. He was still carefree and still rather foolish at times; his famous grin was there, as well. But he was more responsible. He had matured. The sensation that manifested inside of her was the same as when he walked out of the Yomi cave – only increased tenfold.

"You know, I was thinking…" Daichi, with his light-brown hair and green eyes, started after abandoning his phone on the table.

Anna drew in a deep breath and copied the action, before reaching for her still warm coffee.

Haru, on his part, laughed.

Daichi turned to look at him, irritated. "What?" he demanded.

"Every time you say that, she reaches for her drink," he said, causing him to turn his narrowed eyes in her direction.

"The fact that my brain compels me to do this, even if I do or do not have alcohol in my glass, should say a lot about how I feel about you thinking," she offered, bluntly, as means of an explanation.

Daichi glared. "_Anyway_," he stressed, "Kaede will be there, right? So, I was thinking that maybe we should call her like, an hour before the party, while she's still washing her hair or painting her face or whatever it is that you girls do, and tell her Pirika's had an accident or the building's blown up and the party's been called off."

Haru grinned. "Now you don't feel the need to reach for your drink, do you?"

Anna sighed. "I feel the need to reach for my phone," she deadpanned.

"Why are you all being so mean to her?" Yoh asked, frowning in amusement.

"First of all, Yoh, we are talking about Kaede," the blonde explained, throwing him a look. "You remember Kaede. She began throwing herself at you the moment you enrolled in high-school."

"Did she?" he asked, genuinely confused. "I remember her, but –"

Haru blinked, brown eyes wide while his friend was nearly choking with laughter beside him. "How can you not see when a girl is hitting on you?"

Yoh frowned. "I don't –"

"The question is," Jun interfered, "Why would he _need_ to see? Why would he make the effort?"

They shared a glance, and then promptly ohh'ed in understanding.

Anna rolled her eyes, taking that as her cue to leave. Slipping her coat on, she grabbed her phone from the table and her bag from the seat beside her, before she stood.

Yoh looked up at her with a confused expression on her face. "You leaving?" he asked. She took the time to pull her long hair out of her black coat and flip it over her shoulder, humming her affirmative answer at the same time that he stifled his yawn. "I'm coming with you," he declared, stretching lazily in his seat.

She placed her hands over her hips, staring him down. "You're taking the chair with you?" she asked sarcastically, making him laugh.

"Nah," he answered. Standing up, he shrugged his coat on while Daichi waved at Anna in a beauty queen fashion.

"I will be counting down the days till I see you again," he declared, causing another laugh to tumble past the brunet's lips.

The blonde, however, seemed to be used to his stupidity, because all she did was sigh, turn around, and leave. Yoh followed her out of the building, still grinning, conveniently bumping into her and placing his hands on her hips as she turned around to speak with him. She rolled her eyes at his actions, annoyed, yet not quite.

"Give me the keys," she commanded, exasperated.

Yoh had to release her to search in his pockets. "You want to drive?" he asked.

Anna gave him a flat look. "No, I want the keys because –"

He laughed, and she stopped as she was handed what she had asked for. With one last roll of her eyes, she turned around and started towards the place where he had last parked his car.

Anna's driving style, he had learned, was like her personality – impulsive and aggressive. That being said, it wasn't exactly a surprise when he found himself gripping the door-handle nearly all the way to the suburbs.

"Why don't you let people pull out when they want to pull out?" he asked at some point in their journey, half-terrified, half-amused, after she had zoomed past a car whose driver had already been signaling for enough time for her to have seen him.

"Because they pull out and then they slow down," she answered. For a moment, he had the feeling that she was taking him seriously. "See the man behind me – the man who _let_ him pull out? See how sad he is?"

Yoh threw her a bland look. "Do you even have a license?"

Like so many other times since he came back, he thought she would turn to him and punch him six ways to Sunday, but once again, he ended up stupefied.

"No." Her answer was simple, blunt, and honest.

His eyes widened. "You _don't_ have a _license_?"

"Make up your mind," she said, rolling her eyes, as she changed gears. "Do I or do I not deserve to have a license?"

"I thought you'd smiled at the instructor, but that at least you'd gone through school!" he exclaimed.

"Says who?" she countered. "The guy who most likely slept through the lessons?" Yoh opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him before he could. "Keep the answer to yourself," she said. "And be careful, I can smash your head through the window – you don't learn _that_ in driving school."

For a moment, he was silent. Then he burst into laughter, causing yet another roll of her eyes in her.

Yoh had clung to her at the beginning of classes and had not once let her go since. To be perfectly honest, Anna didn't mind; she could even go as far as saying that she enjoyed his presence. He was gone, sometimes – most of the time. He wasn't home a lot, and when he was, between so many people in the house that all seemed to demand his attention, they didn't have the opportunity to spend much time in each other's company. On the rare occasions that they did, though, something always happened.

Had she been the same person of months prior, she would have declared his phone her number one enemy. It had even rung in the middle of the night once. More surprising had been Yoh's reaction. He had woken up, answered, and left. He was back by the time she awakened, but that didn't make the incident any less disturbing.

Anna wasn't blind. That she chose to be – that was a different story altogether.

–

–

–

Pirika shone on her birthday, dressed in a sequined apparel of a light beige color. She was smiling, glowing, and the happiness could be read clearly in her eyes.

Her brother, on the other hand, did nothing but grumble under his breath the entire time, claiming, once again, that the skirt was too short. He seemed to be displeased with everything that was happening that particular night, but the closest people to him knew that he was actually simply having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that his little sister had grown so much in his absence. The essence of Pirika's effervescent personality hadn't changed over the years, but she had certainly gained the necessary independence to do everything her protective elder brother had tried so hard to shield her from. To cap it all, she didn't seem to care as much as she used to about what he thought or what he commanded her to do.

So, that night, he was sullen.

It was just the icing on his surly cake when the blonde of the group made her appearance. Of course, no one had expected her to actually listen to Pirika. So, obviously, the most Anna thing to do was show up in a bright-red dress to make everyone's jaw drop. The garment was short, exposing most of her thighs, and sleeveless.

But that was not his problem. His problem appeared when Yoh made a beeline for her, stopped, bent his head to hers – and promptly _kissed_ her.

It was then when he snapped.

"Since when can he kiss her without getting slapped?!"

–

–

–

Having her in his arms seemed to melt days and days of tension from his body. That was not a surprise; her presence had always reassured him in a manner that only it could. But sometimes, he had the feeling that he was never quite grateful enough for that.

Breaking the kiss, he grinned as he straightened to his full height, gazing down into her eyes – which seemed even more beautiful, if that was even possible, with the dark make-up surrounding them. Much as she tried to contain herself, the blonde was unable not to answer with a small smile of her own.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "You don't want to know," was her vague answer, and he could only laugh at the traces of annoyance clearly heard in her voice.

Opening his mouth, he was about to answer, when a voice was heard behind him, and he was forced to move to her side, rather than in front of her.

"Anna, I feel so glad that you decided to grace us with your presence."

At first, he frowned, not quite able to recognize the person standing in front of him as he curled an arm around his fiancée's waist. The figure was vaguely familiar – the green eyes, the long, dark hair – and he knew he _should_ be able to remember, but he was at a complete loss.

Anna, on the other hand, seemed to have no problem of that sort.

"Kaede," she greeted, and all the pieces seemed to finally fall into place. "My, am I happy to see you."

The sarcasm in her words was obvious, but she was smirking. She was definitely calmer than he had expected her to be, considering her history with the woman he could now name; the two had never liked each other, and although the blonde had always managed to keep her violent tendencies in check, the strain that put on her would usually be more visible. Now, however, she resumed at gently moving a lock of hair away from her face, raising her eyebrows in mock interest. Even as she did this, she seemed more amused than mad, and it was interesting for Yoh to see this side of her. Anna had been possessive in her younger years, and perhaps she still was, but it was clear that she didn't see Kaede as a threat.

That could not be said about the other woman, though. As the dim lights of the restaurant glinted against the precious stones set in her ring, the piece of jewelry caught her eye; her mouth almost dropping open, she turned to him.

"You actually gave her a ring?" she demanded.

Yoh nearly took a step back as the spotlight suddenly fell on him. Hesitating, unsure of how to answer, he frowned. "Well, I –"

"What do you _see_ in her?" she gasped out, interrupting him.

The brunet blinked.

Pirika laughed as she joined in on their conversation. "Stop picking on Anna just because you wish you were in her place," she advised, grinning.

Kaede seemed scandalized. "I do not –"

"I agree," Anna interrupted her. "You don't wish you were in my place. You wish you were _me_, period. And you know what?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

"What?" she bit out, hands on her hips.

Anna smirked, triumphant. "I don't blame you."

"Yes!" a more entertained Horo-Horo yelled. "Catfight!"

"No," she denied, shaking her head. "What would that solve? When even with a scratch on my face, I'd still look better than her." Shrugging innocently, she smirked as the entire table cheered.

As the raven-haired girl stalked off with a huff of annoyance, Yoh thought he had never seen his fiancée look so satisfied with something that she had done.

"Good job, princess," Daichi, already buzzed, stated. Haru was still laughing beside him, thoroughly entertained. "That's why I kept you a bottle of vodka."

"Thank you," she replied dryly, rolling her eyes, as she took a seat at the table.

Yoh followed blindly, still in shock. As he began to laugh incredulously, she turned to face him, an eyebrow raised.

"What?" she demanded.

"That was the meanest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth," he said. "And that _is_ saying something."

"I hate her," was her simple answer, following by a shrug which only made him laugh harder.

But the blonde was not looking to amuse him. Although what she felt towards Kaede could not be classified as 'hate' – not in the real sense of the word, at least – she couldn't stand her, and that was that. In her opinion, the girl was even worse than her grandfather – not because she was spoiled, but because she was allowing herself to be manipulated so easily.

She had never attempted anything with Yoh; all she had ever tried to do was show him how unsuited _she_ was for him. Kaede didn't want him. But she didn't want Anna with him, either. And that had a name – her grandfather's. In reality, she had no reason to hate her. Of course, the blonde was not one to stand back and take her insults – insults that were, most of the times, classy and well-hidden, she'd give her that – without fighting back. Hence the situation they now found themselves in.

Smirking, she located her, and tried to tap into her mind to feel her annoyance. All she had to do was focus on her and on what she wanted to hear, but for some reason or another, this time, what she encountered with was silence. Where there was supposed to be her thoughts, there was nothing but a blank void.

She frowned, and tried again, this time even closing her eyes, but the result was the same. How could that be? It was exactly what had happened with Yoh the other day, in the car; that she couldn't read the Shaman King's mind – that was understandable. But Kaede's? She had never had a problem with that before.

Out of nowhere, a warm, familiar hand landed softly on her back, making her turn her head to the side to look at her fiancé.

"Are you alright?" he asked, surprised that her mood had dissipated so quickly. Anna usually liked to bask in such achievements, however subtle she might be in doing so.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." Running a hand through her hair, she adjusted her body so that she was fully facing him, in time to catch sight of the wallpaper on his phone before the screen darkened. She raised an eyebrow.

Yoh understood her reasoning, and grinned. "Do you want to know his story?" he asked, as easygoing as he had always been.

"Would that make you any less of an idiot?" she retorted.

His grin grew wider. "It might."

"Go ahead," she said.

"Well, we found him in Patch Village. And you know how cold it can get there at night. So, we took turns receiving him into our beds!"

As opposed to his cheerful attitude – and the obvious pride he took in what he had done – the blonde seemed completely disgusted.

He laughed. "One of my friends took him home," he supplied. "The one who got hurt."

"Oh," she said, her mood sobering visibly as she sat straighter in her seat. "He's… better?"

"Yeah, he's fine," he answered nonchalantly, as though he had always known that would be the outcome.

For a moment, she was silent. Then, when she spoke again, she surprised him by actually showing what could be called an interest in his social life outside of her and their group of friends. "You sound like… like you get along well with him." On top of that, her words were packed with a carefulness and a hesitance that nearly made him frown.

But he pushed it aside in favor of answering her underlying question. "I do," he said. "I already told you." Then he smiled, somewhat adoringly, at her. "You never even asked for his name."

Anna rolled her eyes and leaned back into her seat, lying smoothly, "I don't care to know the names of your stupid friends, Yoh."

"But you care enough to ensure they're alright," he pressed, and she turned her gaze back to him, annoyed.

"Only because I know you're enough of an idiot to blame yourself for everything," she retorted.

He laughed, grinned his signature – and, secretly, her favorite – grin, and bent his head down, planting his lips sweetly on hers. Ignoring the audience, she responded immediately to the kiss, leaning in, one of her hands tangling in his brown locks.

Across the table, a happier Horo-Horo cheered, Pirika aww'ed, and she vaguely heard Jun comment in a good-natured manner.

But Anna couldn't care less about any of them. When he kissed her, nothing else mattered. And when she was with him, the entire world disappeared.

–

–

–

The rest of the night passed in similar fashion. Jun joined them after an hour, accompanied by a friend from college, who seemed to be particularly familiarized with Pirika – something that her brother certainly did _not_ like – and as fond of his fiancée as people nowadays usually were.

The Tao mistress complained about missing the confrontation between the two women, pouted, childishly demanded that the blonde waited for her the next time – which earned her an arch of her eyebrow from Anna and a roll of his eyes from Ren – and then settled to enjoy the party.

Their group was almost complete then, with only a few persons missing; he remembered, once again, how much he had actually missed the times when it was over the years he had spent away.

Anna kept by his side most of the evening, and watching her, Yoh felt that he was now prepared to answer Kaede's question. What did he see in her? _Everything_. She was gorgeous. She was amazing. She was everything he could have ever unconsciously wished for. And he was simply fascinated by this side of her that he had never quite seen before. Her life had gone on without him while he had been in the Shaman Tournament, as had his own, so now that he had returned, he was taken by every change he saw in her.

He was proud – immensely so – that she had opened up, that she had made her own friends, that she had given people the chance to see how much of a stunning person she was, on the inside as much as on the outside. Everybody was inexplicably drawn to her – had always been that – and he loved it when she actually gave them reasons for that.

So, of course, watching her argue with Haru and keep the last bottle of vodka out of Daichi's clutches was, to say the least, entertaining. But the favorite moments of the night were the ones she spent with him – the two of them, together. It might seem late, but it was that night that Yoh realized that Anna had never truly rejected his affections. She may have slapped him once or twice when he crossed the lines she had so carefully drawn, but they had been mere children back then.

Ever since he came back, she had never _once_ pulled away from him when he wanted to kiss her or when he wanted to hug her. Sure enough, he too, understood that she was not the type of girl that would be frequently seen making out in public, but the point remained: she never once rejected him. It was almost as though she had missed his presence in her life on more than one level, as though she now wanted to make the most of the moments she had with him. And he loved her for that – exactly as he loved her for everything else.

It was when he was holding her against him, cradled in the crook of his arm, her head on his shoulder and their fingers intertwined as they watched, with varying amusement, the party dying down, that the magic of the night was broken by the incessant vibration of his phone in his pocket. In the past, Yoh would have ignored it without discussion; he would have ignored it without even glancing at the screen. And honestly speaking, he missed those times – the times when he was able to do that.

Heaving a sigh, he pulled the device out of his pocket and held it to his ear. Anna paid him little attention other than acknowledging his movements, and shifted now that the warmth of his hand over hers was gone. His heart dropped when he heard the person on the other line. For a long moment, he could hardly breathe. Then he abruptly straightened in his seat, ignoring the look of alarm his fiancée was sending him as she was forced to do the same. The questions that would – and should – have been flowing out of his mouth would have given her at least a clue as to what was happening, but the problem was, he already had all the answers.

"I have to go," he announced, ending the call with one hand, settling the other over her back in an unconsciously reassuring gesture as he stood.

"What?" she demanded, looking up at him, but she was more worried than angered. "Why?"

"We'll talk later," he dismissed her. "I _need_ to go."

Had he ever glanced back, he would have seen her exchange a worried look with Ren from across the table. He would have seen the panic in her eyes, the confusion on her features. He would have seen all that. But he didn't, and there was no time for him to regret that.

–

–

–

Sleep never came for the blonde that night.

After Yoh took his leave with Ren storming after him, the party had died down. It would have ended for her, either way, but Pirika seemed to be particularly saddened by the departure of her newest 'obsession'. The only reason why she had stayed until the very end was because she had come to complain to her, and Anna was reluctant to let her know, once again, that something was wrong. She had figured it out on her own a couple of weeks prior, and she would not give her another opportunity to do that; enough slips had been made – she would not stand for more.

It was late into the night, or rather, early into the morning when they arrived home. People scattered around the house to their rooms and slipped into their beds. Anna followed their example, but she was never able to close an eye.

This was not the fist time she had seen Yoh serious or scared or panicked. No, her fiancé was lazy and carefree, but when the circumstances changed, he knew how he should and could act. What worried her was the fact that he happened to have a special gift – the gift of knowing for sure when everything would be alright. He had the solution before he even knew what the situation was, and it was simple and logical and left people wondering why in the world they hadn't thought of it first. So for him to look as panicked as he had… The situation _had_ to be serious. Which in itself was not a novelty, so Anna only had herself to blame for being so worried.

At some point, when everything became too much, she flung the covers to the other side of the bed and stood, making her way out of her room and down the stairs in search for a glass of cold water to drink. She knew it would be useless in terms of lulling her into sleep, but at least it gave her something to do since she had long since given up on the idea of rest until Yoh came home.

She had barely taken a sip of the refreshing liquid when the front door opened – and then slammed.

A furrow between her brows, she placed her glass on the counter and moved out of the kitchen, ready to give an earful to whoever thought that slamming a door in the middle of the night simply to announce his presence was a good idea. But she ended up freezing completely when she saw exactly who that person was.

"Yoh?" she breathed out, her frown deepening. The brunet stopped on his way to the staircase upon hearing her voice, but surprisingly enough, refused to turn around to face her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." When he answered, his voice was tight, as if he was holding something back. "Why are you up?"

"I couldn't sleep. I was thirsty." He was tense and coiled, and she was surprised by how disconcerting it was to see him like that. Yoh hardly ever got angry, but when he did, he was worse, much worse than her. He practically made her fumble with her words! Had she not known he was incapable of hurting her, he would have probably been the only person in the world she would fear.

"Well, I'm going to bed," he announced, but before he could take another step, Anna reached out and, against her better judgment, grasped his arm, stopping him.

"Yoh, you're not alright." She shook her head, and he slowly turned to face her. "What happened?"

Seeing as his body posed no resistance to her insistence, she would have never expected the words that came out of his mouth to be so tightly controlled. "When I tell you I'm alright, it's because I'm alright. Which means that nothing's happened."

For a moment, all she could do was stare at him in pure, unadulterated surprise. Then her temper flared, and she reacted. "Don't talk to me like that! What is _wrong_ with you, I – Is that _blood_?!" she nearly shrieked as the faint moonlight coming in through the window suddenly fell on his shirt when he shifted. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Keep your voice down, and don't cause a scene," he hissed, closing in on her. He was so close, she could feel his breath fanning against her face, and she swallowed hard. The height difference was glaringly obvious now, and had she not been so angry and so worried, she would have felt intimidated.

"Cause a scene?" she seethed. "I'm trying to find out what's wrong with you because I care about you!"

"When I tell you I'm alright, I'm not lying," he spoke through his teeth, his jaw clenched.

Anna stuck her chin up defiantly and stubbornly held her ground. "Yes, you are."

Yoh's eyes narrowed at her insistence. "If I am, if I ever was, that would be my problem, don't you think?"

Her shock was probably the only thing keeping her mouth from dropping open at his rash statement. It was like a slap to her face. She had expected everything and anything – she always did – but it had never even crossed her mind that something like that could come out of her fiancé's mouth.

"Oh, right," she said, stepping back. Her voice was soft, a mixture of shock, pain, anger and confusion. "You're absolutely right. I don't know what I was thinking, really. You storm out of a room, looking like death warmed over when you hardly ever care if danger is staring at you right in the face – and I'm supposed _not_ to worry? I'm to supposed to let it go, to leave you be? Well, _excuse me_ for showing that I care from time to time. It's obvious I'm better off as an Ice Queen. And since that annoys you, too, it seems, I guess we're not meant to be, now are we?"

Slipping her ring from her finger, she held it up for a moment, before loosening her hold and allowing it to fall between them. Yoh reached quickly, catching it, and it was in those few seconds that he spent gazing down at the twinkling stones in his palm that he came to and realized exactly what he had done.

Unfortunately, by the time that happened, the blonde had already brushed past him and made her way upstairs.

"Anna!" he called, but she refused to answer him, and as he raised his head, he caught a glimpse of her as she reached the top of the stairs and turned away. "Anna, no…" Clenching his fist around the ring, he stormed upstairs to catch up to her, but she ignored his protests and closed the door behind her.

The sound of the key twisting in the lock resounded through the hallway despite his hurried footsteps and agitated thoughts.

"Anna!" he called again, rapping his knuckles on the wooden surface. "Anna, open up!"

"No!" came the response from inside. He winced at the anger in her voice. "Leave!"

"I'm not leaving," he stated as calmly as he could. "We need to talk."

"You know what? I don't care."

Yoh gritted his teeth. "Don't make me knock this down."

"You dare to do that and I swear you'll never see me again. And only partially because you'll be dead."

"Dead or not, this door would still be coming down," he snapped, his patience wearing thin. It had been too much of a long day for him to be dealing with _this_ on top of everything. "I want to talk to you. Do you honestly want the entire house to hear?"

There was a moment of silence from the other side before the lock clicked and the door was slung open violently. The blonde put as much distance between them as possible while he stepped inside the familiar bedroom and closed the door behind him. When she finally turned to face him, her eyes were hard and her arms were crossed over her chest.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

Yoh sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? I just…"

She raised her eyebrows in slight challenge. "You're sorry?"

The irritation returned increased tenfold as he realized she was not about to be sympathetic at all. In that moment, he wondered why he had ever even thought she would be. "I am."

"Well, great!" she clasped her hands together and faked a smile that was gone almost as soon as it came. "But do I look like I care about that?"

His eyes hardened in an instant. "No. I just thought you should know," he countered through gritted teeth.

Her desire to play with him dissipated along with the sarcasm in her eyes as she took a step closer and her voice adopted a threatening tone. "Do _not_ treat me like that."

"How am I supposed to treat you, then?" he snapped. "It's like I'm walking on goddamn eggshells with you! I never know how to treat you because I never know how you'll react! You're so unpredictable that even the smallest thing done with the best intentions can piss you off!"

"Well, if that annoys you so damn much, then why the hell didn't you end this a long time ago?" she shouted, and soon enough, he found himself screaming right back at her.

"Because I love you!"

"When you love somebody, you love every part of them – no matter how annoying it is. When you love somebody, you don't treat them like this."

He barked an unamused laugh. "You're very used to being treated like a princess, aren't you? And you like it."

"You know what I think? I think that gun is yours," she confirmed resolutely, spilling every suspicion, every question, and every answer she had found by herself that had been mounting inside of her for so long. "I think you've been lying to me all along. I don't know why you're using it, because you won't tell me. And, _newsflash_! When you love somebody, you don't keep secrets from them."

Yoh scoffed. "Well, you got that one right. Think you can apply it to yourself? But then again, you never did say you loved me, so I don't know why I'm here, trying to work this out. I don't even know what the hell has kept you by my side for so long. Convenience? Was that it?"

He never saw it coming. One moment, he was yelling at her, completely conscious of what he was saying, completely aware of the impact his words would have on her, and wanting – _wanting_ her to hear them, wanting to knock some sense into her despite knowing that this was a situation that not only had she not caused, but also didn't even understand. It made sense to him at the time. But then his cheek was suddenly stinging and his head was turned to the side and he was forced to take a step back.

As his eyes slowly shifted back to her figure, the tension in the room had dissipated. There was silence, and it was only then that it registered into his mind that they had been screaming at each other. At that point, he didn't know what hurt more – the sting in his cheek, or the disarmed look in her eyes she was trying so hard to conceal.

"Convenience?" she repeated slowly. Her blue eyes seemed to shine in the dim light. "Either you leave this room, or I will. The choice is yours."

She waited for a whole tense second. When he showed no signs of moving, she tried to walk past him, only to have him take a step back and raise his hands in the air in a gesture of silent surrender. She crossed her arms over her chest and averted her gaze to the side as his presence slowly left the room.

The door closed. Then there was nothing.

–

–

–

_A/N: Once again, I apologize for the long wait! This chapter was supposed to be out sometimes in… well, believe it or not, June. But two scenes gave me headaches for so long that I started to avoid them. One of them is the one above; you have no idea how hard it was to keep both Yoh and Anna in character and still send the message I wanted to send. _

_The other one you will read in the next chapter. Because I noticed a certain unbalance in terms of word count – and happenings, really – I decided it would be best to split the events. Too bad I only realized that when I was completely done with them, haha! The good news? The next chapter will come out faster, no doubt about that. (To tell you the truth, I'm aiming for late August.)_

_Outfits on Flickr, as usual. _

_Please review! I always love to read your opinions!_


	10. Tomorrow

–

**When the road gets dark**

**And you can no longer see,**

**Let my love throw a spark**

**Have a little faith in me.**

—"_Faith in Me" by John Hiatt_

–

The following day, the blonde found refuge in a small café, deep in thought as she watched the world move outside the window, while absentmindedly twirling a cup of coffee in her hands.

She could not believe Yoh had behaved the way he had. What in the world was happening to him? No matter what she had said or done, Yoh had never, ever reacted in such a violent manner. With her, he had always been calm and patient, even when she was being the bitchiest person on Earth. So why did he lash out precisely when she showed concern for him?

Deep inside, Anna knew that something was wrong. The problem – whatever his problem was – ran deeper than simply a bad mood. Yoh had been upset the night before. He had seemed… different. Something had happened to him – and that something had been strong enough to _change_ him. But for the life of her, Anna could not figure out what that something could be.

Yoh had been through a lot, that was a given, and in the majority of cases, she had been right by his side. The tournament had surely been harsh enough to reward him with some of the worst experiences. She briefly wondered whether he had ever reacted in such a way before. She reached the conclusion that she couldn't know, and that she shouldn't care, in the first place. She was _there_ for him. She had always been there for him when he needed her. Anna might be cold and standoffish most of the times, but there was one thing in the world that she was not, and that was selfish. Especially when it came to Yoh – to the one and only person who she loved with all of her heart.

Whenever he needed her, she had been there – in her own way, she admitted, but she had been there, and he had always understood and appreciated that. So, what had gone wrong this time?

Was it her demanding tone that had topped everything off and finally made him snap?

Anna was not stupid. She knew Yoh had long since realized that something was wrong with her, and that was not due to the questions he asked continuously. It was due to the fact that she knew _him_. She hadn't fooled him one bit, and she had been aware of that all along. They had both been aware of the fact that she kept lying uselessly, that she was fighting to keep up a façade that had already been broken through. The only reason why they continued to play that game was _her_ – it was her stubborn nature, her inability to face problems headlong, it was her fright of revealing the truth to anybody, even to Yoh, even when she knew perfectly well that he would understand her better than anyone.

Looking back, she could see why he had snapped at her, why he had come to doubt her feelings for him, to doubt everything they had built together. That was her own fault, and it was one of the few things Anna wasn't afraid to admit. The question was… why did he react in that manner?

He had been perfectly fine the last time she had seen him, and Anna knew better than to believe that he had become mad out of the blue because he had suddenly reached some conclusions. No. The night before had not been about _them_. The night before had been about _him_ being upset – being upset because of something that she did not know – and taking his anger out on her, on them.

And in spite of all the annoyance and resentment that simple thought awoke inside of her, Anna was worried. Worried about him – about all the problems he could possibly have. And if that was the way he had been feeling for the past few months, the blonde felt more than ready to tell him everything the moment he made his appearance.

Of course, that was easier said than done.

"Anna!" the familiar voice of Jun snapped her out of her thoughts, bringing her back to reality. Looking up, she caught the woman in process of taking a seat at the table, across from her. "Are you alright? What happened? I heard you two screaming at each other last night!"

"Yes, you probably did," the blonde answered, resigned, as she looked back down at her cup of coffee. "Along with the rest of the house."

"What happened?" she repeated.

Anna rolled her eyes. "That is our problem exclusively, Jun."

"I know, but… I'm worried about the two of you, Anna. You guys almost never fight. I mean, I know I've never –"

"Yoh and I…" she began, pausing for a moment to clear her throat, before continuing, "Yoh and I have been having some problems. He's hiding things from me, and I –"

"He's _hiding_ things from you?" Jun repeated, interrupting her. Anna raised an eyebrow at the incredulous tone she had used. "Is that what you're so mad about?"

"Do you think that's little?" she countered, sarcasm coating her voice.

"Do you even realize how much of a freaking hypocrite you're being right now?"

"Yes," she hissed, leveling her glare with one of her own. "And no, I don't care. It's different, no matter how you look at it. And besides, I told you once, and I'll repeat myself if I have to: _this_ never happened."

"You know, this is going to sound as shocking as hell, especially for a person so deep in denial like you, but you, Anna Kyoyama," she said, pointing her finger at her, "are acting like a child, who thinks that if he just sticks his hands over his ears and goes "nah nah nah nah nah", then the problem will go away. Newsflash: it won't!"

"You know what?" Anna snapped, leaning forward in her seat. "I never wanted this to happen. And I'm not proud of the decisions I've made, but I've done my best."

"I'm sure you've realized by now that 'your best' isn't enough," Jun replied. "There's only one thing you can do in order to pull yourself out of this misery you're buried in: _accept_ who you are."

"That would be so much easier if I actually _knew_ who I am!" she whispered harshly, making a conscious effort to keep her voice down. "But how would you know? You've always had the world at your feet. So don't you dare come here now, in front of me, and give me advice like you actually _know_ what you're talking about!"

"So what am I supposed to do? As a friend, as a person who cares about you? Stand aside and watch as you sink into depression?"

"For your information, I am not depressed," she retorted. "I'm behaving like I've been taught, like I've always behaved. And maybe if you stopped seeing me as that little girl you once knew, as that five-year-old _Annalise_, you'd see that nothing has actually changed. Except for you and your perception of me. I know that, in your mind, Annalise is a totally different person, with completely different habits and a radically different way of seeing life, but the harsh truth is, I'm still Anna. And that's that."

Jun shook her head, stubbornly holding her ground. "I've said it before and I'll say it again: you need to accept who you are. You keep complaining that you don't know yourself. Well, that's because you aren't making an effort to know yourself! All you have to do is look deep inside you and you'll find –" She stopped abruptly when she saw her shake her head.

"You don't get it, Jun," she said, and her voice was so calm and collected that it almost scared her. But when she looked into her eyes, there was no storm preparing to unfold. There was calmness, there was resignation – and a deep sense of wisdom that Jun had never truly seen in her before.

And she remembered then, just how much this girl had been through – how much she was still going through. How much of a burden she had chosen to carry by herself.

"You don't get why I stopped caring. You don't get why I stopped trying to put the pieces back together. You don't get why I never even truly attempted, in the first place. And that's alright, because in the end, when it all comes down to it, you wouldn't even _want_ to get it. You wouldn't want to understand, because that would put you in my place – and that's not somewhere anybody would like to be."

–

–

–

**Funbari Park. Come.**

That was what his message said.

Truthfully, in the first couple of seconds, Anna wanted to ignore him – that, or tell him to hang himself from the closest tree branch. Although she understood – or rather, better said, she could make suppositions about – part of his reasoning, that didn't mean his behavior had stopped bothering her. It still did, and a whole lot, at that. The man she had seen the night before had not been the Yoh she had fallen in love with, and 'disturbing' was a word that didn't even begin to cover the bundle of emotions that had taken residence in an uncomfortable place of her heart.

But there was something inside of her that rendered her unable to do what she had set her mind on, what would, in all reality, have been expected from her. She wasn't used to this. She wasn't used to being upset with him, and she most definitely wasn't used to being confused about his behavior.

More than that, though, more than the discomfort this situation caused her, she wanted her Yoh back. She yearned for him. But most importantly, she _needed_ him.

–

–

–

He raised his head from where it lay in his hands when he sensed her approaching presence. Messy strands of brown hair fell in his eyes as he looked up, in time to catch the first glimpse of her walking down the path that led to him.

The day was dark, cold. The sky was covered with steel-colored clouds; frozen raindrops had descended earlier, leaving a thick blanket of mist in their wake.

He hadn't closed an eye the entire night. Yet, by the time he gathered the courage to exit his room, she had been long gone. No one had seen her that morning.

But she was there now.

Dressed in a short, black coat and a red blouse beneath, with light-colored pants and simple, brown boots, she snuggled in a cozy-looking, beige scarf. Her long, blonde hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, and she looked as perfectly put-together as she always had, but he was unable to tell whether she was wearing make-up.

He watched, wide-eyed, as she approached him, crossing her arms over her chest before coming to a stop right in front of him.

"You came…" he whispered. Her simple presence seemed surreal at that point.

Anna nearly scoffed, but answered calmly, "Of course I did."

For a moment, he hesitated. He averted his eyes and swallowed thickly. A silent battle seemed to take place inside of him, before he made up his mind and, straightening his posture, reached behind his back.

It took every ounce of self-control contained in her small body not to take a step back. The shock she was feeling must have been etched on her features, though – perhaps even the fear.

There was a part of her that told her to yell at him, to demand explanations, to scream until he told her exactly why he had lied to her, to shout and shout until he untangled this web of confusion right before her eyes. But there was another part of her, wiser, more experienced, less willing to continue hiding behind a façade, that told her she had been aware of this for a far longer time than she would even dare to acknowledge.

"What do you think I use this for?" he asked, placing the black gun beside him, on the wooden bench, and in that moment, he seemed old – tired, weary, worn-out both on the inside and on the outside. "You get one guess."

Anna scowled. "I'm not stupid, Yoh," she snapped. Then she shook her head, gently. "But no… I know better than to believe that you're capable of –"

"I killed my own brother, Anna," he reminded her, pain lacing his voice. "Why wouldn't I be able to kill a bunch of strangers?"

Her eyes widened at his declaration, the reality that she had been fighting so hard to avoid rapidly gaining ground and catching up with her. Her heartbeat quickened, fear of the unknown racing through her veins. Her entire body froze. What was she to do now?

"See?" Yoh asked, looking up at her in an almost pleading manner. "_This_ is why I didn't want you to know. This is why I fought to keep you away from all this. Because I knew that, once you found out, nothing would ever be the same." Heaving a sigh, he reached in the pocket of his coat and pulled out the engagement ring she had thrown at him a mere couple of hours before. The precious stones glimmered in the faint light as he held it between his fingers, gazing down at it with an unreadable look in his eyes.

Anna remained silent throughout the entire scene.

"I gave you this because I love you," he continued. "And yes, I admit, because I wanted to have some kind of guarantee that you wouldn't leave me as soon as the truth about this whole situation came out." He huffed an amused breath. "I suppose the latter didn't work out quite right… But I'd like you to keep wearing it… if that's not too much to ask, because… because I have a feeling it might keep _them_ away from you. But –"

"Idiot!" she snapped, closing the distance between them in two angry strides. "Give me that." Snatching the ring from his hands, she slipped it on her finger, where it belonged, without a moment of hesitation. "We've been through worse."

"Anna…" he murmured, looking up at her in surprise.

"I don't care who you're killing, for God's sake!" she exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "I care because I know it's killing _you_." Crouching down in front of him, she cupped his face within her hands and demanded his attention. "Listen to me. I know you want the best for everybody. I never doubted that. But there are some people out there that cannot be saved. Like your brother. Think about how many lives you saved by taking one – and the balance changes. Now, we might have to deal with some unpleasant situations in order to make everything alright, to make this world a better place… But we _will_ succeed. I promise."

"I never killed anybody," he told her, his eyes beginning her – begging her to believe him. "I swear I never did."

Her eyes were warm and steady as she assured him, "I believe you."

Touched by his sincerity, by his courage, by his willingness to tell her the truth no matter the possibly painful consequences, Anna felt that it was finally time for her to do the same. Jun was right. She needed to stop acting like a child. Yoh had always been so carefree, and now he seemed a thousand years old to her. He was a man who knew when it was time to become serious, and compared to him, Anna felt like she had been fooling around with a cheap façade of seriousness. Because, deep inside, she had been a scared baby all along. But now it was time to grow up.

"I have something to tell you," she announced, meeting his curious gaze. "Remember that… that personal problem I wanted to solve on my own?"

Yoh shook his head. "Not now, Anna," he said. "I'm sorry, but… but I don't think I'll be able to focus on what you say. Let's leave it for another time, alright?"

Her brows furrowing, she could only nod dumbly. "Sure," she agreed. She hesitated for a long moment, before venturing, "Is there something wrong?"

Heaving a breath, Yoh closed his eyes, though not before the blonde could see the pain glimmering in them. His answer, when it came, was a whisper. "They killed Silva, Anna."

"What?" she breathed, standing up in an abrupt movement.

She never received an answer.

Silva meant so much to Yoh. He was a father, a friend, a counselor – he had helped him in everything. Their bond could have only grown stronger in the two years he had been away form her, and she could only imagine how much pain he was feeling at that point. She didn't even know what to tell him. What could she possibly say to make him feel better? What could she possibly say to sympathize with him?

"I'm sorry," he spoke before she could, gazing up at her pleadingly. "I felt guilty. And I felt angry. And you were there – so close, so real." He chocked on his own words. "I'm sorry."

In the end, she realized that no words could soothe him now. Stepping forward, she tugged him in her arms, letting him cling to her as he buried his face into her stomach. He didn't cry, didn't as much attempt to tell her what he was feeling, but she knew how much the simple fact that she was there meant to him. Running her fingers through his thick hair, she heaved a sigh.

Would anything ever be alright again?

–

–

–

Anna's mind was reeling by the time she parted ways with Yoh. He had offered to take her home, but she had declined; she needed space, some time to herself. She would be foolish and naïve to think that she would actually find a solution to the problem, but analyzing a situation had always calmed her down – it had always given her a much better grip on life. And maybe it was an illusion she had conjured up for herself, but she needed the sense of comfort and security it gave her no matter whether it was real or not.

Her hands buried in her pockets, she kept her gaze on the ground, blue eyes watching yet not truly seeing, mind lost in its own connections.

Yet she knew immediately when something was wrong. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and her heart-rate increased unexplainably. Anna might be in the dark when it came to knowledge, but her sixth sense was there – and it was as strong as it had always been.

There was a man standing in front of her, about six feet away. He was tall, fair-skinned, with messy blond hair and black clothes. As piercing green eyes started right back into her own, Anna didn't need to look around to know she was alone with their possessor.

She never slowed down, though. She never looked away. There wasn't a single falter in her step.

Either it was that that amused the stranger, or he already was in a particularly good mood.

"Hello," he greeted once she was in hearing range.

Anna walked past him and then turned around, her mind buzzing with nothing of what her expression showed.

He smirked. "I must say, I consider myself quite lucky right now. How did that Asakura allow you to leave by yourself, huh?"

The blonde raised her eyebrows. "_That Asakura_ does not own me," she decided to say after a moment of silence.

"Oh, I think he does," he argued, and leaned against the sleek black car that was conveniently parked beside him. Titling his head forwards, he seemed to challenge her as he asked, "What's your name?"

Anna refused to bite. "You'd give your life to find out, wouldn't you?" she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest, blue eyes boring into his green ones.

For a moment, he seemed surprised. Then, laughing, he placed his hand over his hip and pulled his coat back to slowly reveal something that Anna had never known she could hate so much until that particular day.

But it took more than a gun to faze her when she was in a bad mood. "Yes, I think you would," she said.

"You haven't changed at all, Annalise," he declared with a wry shake of the head, and had it not been for her incredible self control, her eyes would have widened and her expression betrayed her. "You are every bit as reckless as you used to be. You thought we didn't know. You thought we were stupid."

"No, I don't think about you," she corrected. "I have a life. That you're stupid – that's a fact and knowledge of mine."

With yet another laugh, the man reached for his weapon and slowly raised his hand to point it straight at her, his finger on the trigger.

Anna closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, before reopening them and gazing sideways at him, annoyance blazing in her blue orbs.

"That's right." He grinned. "Those eyes won't lie to anybody."

Raising her eyebrows, she gave a small nod; then, with a smirk, took a step closer.

The blond cocked his head to the side, amused and intrigued, but his hand never wavered.

"You must think of yourself as very strong and very high and very mighty now, since you have a gun." She spoke as if she was only then contemplating her words, as if she was looking for approval when in reality, she had never needed any in her entire life. "In control, too," she added.

He pretended to ponder his thoughts for a second, before he answered, "Yes."

He never saw it coming. One moment, he was staring at the blonde in the eye, and the next, his head was slammed against the nearest vehicle and his arm was twisted behind his back, the gun no longer in his hand.

"Look," she started, and he had the decency to wonder where, in her small body, she stored all the strength she was currently demonstrating. "I know you guys want to play, and I understand that. But you don't know me. You don't know what I'm capable of. So, I'm going to be a lady and _warn_ you to stay away."

Suddenly, the pressure on his back was gone and his mobility was back as soon as it had been taken. Turning around, he wasn't surprised to see her walking away. With a smirk on his features, he leaned against the car to rub at his sore wrists.

He shook his head as he bent down to retrieve his weapon from the ground.

"The guys weren't lying," he said to himself. "You really are something else, Kyoyama."

–

–

–

"You're putting her in danger, Yoh."

The statement caught him by surprise, so much that his head snapped up to look at the person who had spoken. Ren was standing in front of him, with his back to the kitchen table, looking straight into his eyes – and there was no doubt that it was him who he was addressing.

With a mild furrow between his brows, Yoh turned his attention back to the cat in his arms.

"Anna will want to be there," he said. "And I can't stop her from coming."

"That was not my point," Ren insisted.

The brunet looked at him, confused.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned back against the table and heaved a sigh. "I'm not sure that showing everybody that she's your girlfriend – or fiancée, whatever you prefer calling her – will help your case any."

Yoh's frown deepened. "What do you mean?" he asked. "They don't have the guts to approach me. You know that."

"I do know," he agreed. "And I'm sure no one will dare to touch her while she's with you. But what about when she isn't? What about when she's alone? Don't you think they'll attempt to hurt you – emotionally, if they can't physically? Don't you think they'll exploit any weaknesses they might find?"

"Look, Ren…" Sighing, he bent down so that he could place the kitten on the floor. He understood what his best friend was saying and it made all the sense in the world, but he was tired and had no mind to consider it; not when the solution was already there and so simple. "You and I both know this. If anyone does as much as _think_ about laying one finger on Anna… I'm going to kill them. And that's that."

He seemed surprised as his eyebrows shot up. "So, you would turn into a murderer for her?"

Yoh huffed an amused breath and shook his head. "Of course I would."

–

–

–

Cars were lined up against the sidewalk when Yoh pulled up in an empty parking space outside the cemetery that evening.

Anna was surprised by the sheer number of people attending the funeral. She had never imagined Silva to be appreciated by so many persons, and in moments such as these, she was reminded by how little she actually knew – by how much she had yet to learn if she wanted to survive.

She ignored the incident she had stumbled her way into the other day; it was hardly even a conscious decision on her part, since it barely crossed her mind once. In a way, it was reassuring to know that something finally happened – something tangible, something other than the turmoil in her head, the questions that piled up high and the answers she didn't have. Something _happened_. And that meant she had what to analyze and where to gather information from. It was a good sign – that life finally went on after it had stalled. As long as life gave her something to work with, she would find a way to handle the situation.

"I'm sorry," she heard Yoh tell her as she slipped out of the car. He was waiting for her outside, hands in his pockets.

Anna frowned. "For what?" she asked, moving around her side of the car to approach him.

His answer was so surprising her head snapped up to look at him. "Everything." Grasping her hands, he coaxed her even closer. "I don't think you'll ever understand how important you are to me, how much I depend on you. You're _everything_ to me, Anna. Everything. And that night, I –"

"Shh," she murmured, placing a finger over his lips, blue eyes warm and reassuring. "I know perfectly well what happened that night. I may not be the most understanding woman on Earth, but I am aware of the fact that I also say things I don't mean when I'm angry." Pausing for a moment, she rolled her eyes. "Well, I say things I don't mean most of the time. I know how it feels like. And I understand."

Yoh closed his eyes. "There's no justification for how I treated you, Anna. I –"

"Shut up," she said, but despite the nature of her words, her tone wasn't harsh or condescending. It was soft and gentle, and she seemed more exasperated than upset. "You're probably the only idiot in the world who would worry about that in a situation like this. Now, your charade is admirable and would work perfectly if I was mad at you. But I'm not. Forget about it, alright?"

Heaving a sigh, Yoh closed the distance between them and tugged her into his arms, closing his eyes when he felt her return his embrace, her small arms wrapping around his waist.

"Keep your energy for when you piss me off again," she advised, voice slightly muffled by the material of his black shirt.

He huffed an amused breath. Burying his face into her hair, he held her tight against him.

There was no one like Anna to soothe the ache in his heart, because he knew that, as long as he had her, everything would be alright.

–

–

–

She stood by his side throughout the entire ceremony, holding his hand, sharing her warmth, allowing him to lean on her.

Yoh had never been more thankful for her presence.

All the people he knew and all the people that were his friends, and she was the only one who managed to ground him, managed to make him feel that he could truly continue living after something like this. She gave him a reason to stand back up even at this point, even at this stage when the situation already seemed too much to handle and threatened to swell up and swallow him whole. And that reason was her. It had always been her.

As the service finished and the mass of people slowly began to disperse, Yoh had every intention of loitering behind. As unhealthy as it might be considered, he wanted some time alone before the grave of the man that had been like a father to him for such a long time.

Anna, however, seemed reluctant to indulge him. Tugging on his hand, she took a step back. His brown eyes unglued from the carved gravestone and slid to meet her startling blue ones.

"Come on," she whispered, gently coaxing. "Let's go. It's getting cold."

Yoh opened his mouth to speak, but seemed to hesitate.

"I'm not leaving without you," she told him.

For a moment, he was conflicted. There was a part of him that screamed that he wanted to remain there, that he needed the closure – or whatever it was that he was hoping to achieve – but there was another part of him that whispered that what he truly wanted was to give in and bury himself into her arms and simply forget about everything and everyone if only for an evening. She was all he needed.

So, he let himself be pulled along. Anna knew him better than he knew himself, he then remembered. She knew what was good for him and what was not. And perhaps even more importantly, he could _trust_ her. It might seem as though Yoh was foolish enough to put his heart on the line for every single person he encountered in his way – many had said that would be his downfall – but in reality, the only person he knew he could address when everything became too much for him was Anna; she was the only one who he trusted to be able to pull him up when he fell down. That was one of the many reasons why she was indispensable to him.

"Get in the car," he murmured, placing a hand protectively over her lower back. "I need to have a word with Goldva. I'll be right there, alright?"

Any other time, she would have been curious, and the blonde was surprised to see that this was not the case. Giving him an accepting nod, she moved on to where she knew they had parked the car. Leaning against the hood, she wrapped her arms around herself and crossed her legs at the ankles, blonde hair obscuring her face as she gazed down. The truth was that she was completely sapped of energy; seeing her usually cheerful fiancée the way he was now and knowing how much this situation affected him had left her exhausted.

"What are you doing here?" a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts, and her blue eyes rose to meet golden ones.

A sarcastic reply was on the tip of her tongue, but in the end, she simply raised a challenging eyebrow in response. "Yoh needs me right now," she said. She had not missed Ren's disapproving looks throughout the day. "And I will stay by his side."

"And if Yoh told you to get inside the car, what are you doing outside of it?" he retorted.

Throwing him an exasperated look, she rolled her eyes and straightened, moving around the sleek vehicle to slip inside. She supposed she could have become violent, but this was neither the place nor the time.

On his part, Ren remained in his position for a couple of seconds more, contemplating what exactly it was about this girl that made him feel like he had to protect her – and what exactly it was about her that seemed to familiar.

–

–

–

Christopher had barely managed to turn around and take a step forward before he was assaulted by what some would also call his best friend.

"Did you see her?" he demanded, and his eyebrows drew together in a confused furrow.

Sometimes, he wondered what it was that bound them together, because it should be illegal to be that enthusiastic at a funeral and Chris knew that all too well. But then he remembered everything they had been through since they were children, and he realized that neither of them was at a stage where they could question their friendship – or choose it, for that matter.

"See who?" he asked.

Brian rolled his brows eyes. "Anna, duh!" he scoffed.

Chris' frown deepened. "What Anna?"

"Yoh's girlfriend, for God's sake!" he exclaimed in what he probably thought to be a hushed tone, looking at him as though he was crazy for not having searched for her.

Huffing an amused breath once he realized exactly what this was about, he shook his head. "Sorry, I don't look after girls at funerals," he said.

"Dude, me neither," he claimed, and Chris resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "But there's no way I could have missed her. Just let me tell you this: we all laughed at him when he kept rejecting girls in the tournament, but this guy isn't stupid at all! With the girl he had waiting back home…"

The blond once again shook his head in amusement. He supposed any other time he would have been more curious and intrigued, but as he heaved a sigh and stretched his muscles as discreetly as possible, he realized that he was too tired to manage more interest.

His friend, on the other hand, ploughed on, "Hear me out: she's got the longest legs I've ever seen. And her hair is –"

"I take it you two are talking about Silva?"

They both stiffened at the sound of the familiar voice.

Brian paled as he quickly stammered out a response, tripping over his words, "Sir… Yes, Sir."

Chris wasn't sure his friend could see the hint of amusement in his father's expression, but on his part, he had already relaxed the moment he realized that, even if he had been mad, he wouldn't have directed it at him.

"Come on, Chris," he said as he moved past him.

The blond took a moment to bury his hands into his pockets before following his father, fighting back a yawn in the process.

–

–

–

True to his word, Yoh slipped inside the car mere minutes after his fiancée had. The blonde offered to drive, but he simply smiled subtly and declined, which made her roll her eyes and punch him playfully in the shoulder. But they never did talk as the car purred into life and blended smoothly in the late-afternoon Tokyo traffic. Anna would have said something if she had known there was anything that could possibly make him feel better; but since there wasn't, she remained silent.

As the car came to a stop in front of a traffic light, Yoh leaned back in his seat and ran a hand through his hair, sighing tiredly.

She reached out to touch his arm, her eyes holding the question she wouldn't say.

"I'll be fine," he answered, squeezing her hand, before releasing it as the light changed back to green.

Everybody was in the living room when they entered the house, but the brunet declined her invitation of joining them. Anna had thought he would need his friends in moments like these, but all he did was take her hand and lead her upstairs to his room. She followed wordlessly, kicking off her shoes and curling up into his chest when he sat down on the bed.

"You have no idea how thankful I am that you're here with me," he murmured, lips pressed against her hair, arms wrapped tightly around her middle. "Your presence sooths me so much it's almost ridiculous."

Anna kissed the side of his neck in response. "…They will pay for what they have done," she said.

"…They will," he answered, a small smile curling at the corners of his lips. She was amazing – that was the word for her. "Promise me something."

The blonde looked up at him then, a questioning look in her eyes.

"Promise me you'll never take this off."

His hand was holding her left one, where her ring resided, fingers intertwined, and she realized exactly what he was talking about. Perhaps more importantly, she understood what he was telling her. He was asking her to keep the ring he had given her on, because according to their previous conversation, he believed it might keep _them_ away from her, believed it might guarantee her safety. If only he knew they were after her, in the first place.

She would tell him, she resolved. She would tell him as soon as possible – but first things first.

"I promise."

They fell asleep together, without another word.

–

–

–

When Yoh woke up the following morning, the sky was dark, and the pitter-patter of rain could be heard steadily outside the warm confines of his bedroom. Anna was nestled beside him, her back to him, head resting on his bicep. Her long, blonde hair was scattered on the pillow and on his chest, over her shoulders and over his arm.

Shifting on his side to hug her around the waist, Yoh brought her closer, burying his face into the crook of her neck and inhaling her fresh perfume. Her body was firm and warm and breathing against him, but she was so small, and seemed so fragile… Anna knew how to defend herself, there was no question about that, but one moment of carelessness, and it would be so easy to curb her life… And then what? What would he do without her?

Anna was not simply his fiancée. She was not simply the woman he loved. Anna was everything. She was the one person to have always been there for him. She was the first to truly understand him. She had been the one to silently support him in everything he did, to trust him like no one had ever done before, and help him as though her only purpose in life was to see him succeed.

They had been apart, they had dealt with their own fair share of experiences without each other; they _could_ be apart – they knew how that worked. But if someone were to take her away from him, if someone were to hurt her… Yoh didn't know what he would do.

Horrified, he realized that he had never given this matter enough thought. For him, she had always been there – like a pillar of strength, of unbreakable stubbornness, of reassurance. For him, she would never leave. They had both been through hard times in their lives; they had bled and they had hurt. But it was never until now that he realized what it felt like to lose an important person to him. He had struggled so hard to have people accept him, to make friends, and having one ripped away form him so unexpectedly was more painful than anything he had ever experienced – than anything he could have ever imagined. And now, when he was face-to-face with the prospect of losing Anna…

His eyes opened, and his gaze fell on her left hand, where the ring he had given her glittered in the dim light.

He was nothing without her. He didn't _want_ to be something without her. He needed to protect her. There was nothing in this world that was more important to him than that.

Unconsciously, his grip on her tightened, and he squeezed his eyes shut. There was no way he could survive losing her. No way, no way.

A soft touch to his arm snapped him out of his thoughts. His grip lightened, but only slightly. Anna turned her head to kiss the side of his neck lightly, and he closed his eyes again, the worries receding at the small gesture. Loosening his embrace almost completely, he allowed her to turn around in his arms and bury her face into the crook of his neck. Here, in his room, in his bed, within his arms… she was safe. And she seemed to know that just as well as he did.

As usual, with Anna, there were no questions, no prodding, no misunderstandings. She knew perfectly well what he was feeling, what he was thinking, and she acted accordingly. Her mind and body were completely tuned in with his, and in moments like these, it was as though they were one.

He had no way of knowing how long they lied there, in each other's arms, listening to the soft sound of rain hitting the rooftops, the windows, and the muddy ground beneath them. Her presence relaxed him, made everything and everyone around them disappear, and feeling her back moving up and down rhythmically with each breath she took beneath his arm reassured him of the fact that she was there, that she was safe, that he could – and would – protect her from anything and anyone.

Trailing one hand up her spine to bury his fingers in the wavy hair at the nape of her neck, he swallowed.

"You had something to tell me?" he prompted softly, his voice a mere whisper muffled against her hair.

For a fraction of second, her body tensed against him. Then, just as quickly, she relaxed, and breathed out a puff of air against the skin of his neck. She hesitated in giving him an answer, her hand curling lightly against the fabric of his shirt.

"No," she eventually answered, her voice just as quiet and as soft as his own had been. "It was nothing important. It can wait."

His hand covered hers on his chest, their fingers intertwining. "It doesn't have to," he told her.

Anna swallowed hard before speaking, attempting to keep her voice as even as possible. "I want it to."

Because Yoh loved her more than anything in the world, and he was clinging to her in such a desperate manner… How could she tell him she wasn't safe now? How could she tell him he couldn't protect her? She could not. That was the answer.

"Tomorrow?" he proposed.

She nodded, relieved, against him. "Tomorrow," she agreed.

–

–

–

_A/N: The plot is building up, yay! I am a bit late with the update, but I think I did good. I'm trying my hand at a new writing schedule, which is weird, but it seems to be working – for now. The real test will be when school starts (in a week, gahh). _

_The second scene that gave me trouble was the one with Anna and 'the stranger'. It took me quite a while to figure out how she would react in such a situation. I eventually came to the conclusion that her pride would stop her from feeling scared, that she would be more annoyed than anything else with someone trying to threaten her, and that her worry for Yoh would stop her from actually considering the situation as seriously as she should._

_More action coming soon! _

_Please review! :)_


	11. Secrets Revealed

–

**One more kiss could be the best thing**

**Or one more lie could be the worst.**

**And all these thoughts are never resting**

**And you're not something I deserve…**

—"_Let Me Go" by Three Doors Down_

–

The following morning, Anna woke up alone, tucked neatly in the covers. The sky was dark, still covered by ominous clouds, but the rain seemed to have finally stopped, as the noise she had grown accustomed to over the course of the past day was now gone. Instead, there were muffled voices coming from downstairs; she could recognize Pirika's shrill timbre as well as Jun's calm one. She couldn't hear Tamao, but that was to be expected, and nor could she hear Yoh.

She furrowed her brows as she rolled over on her back, the edges of her consciousness still blurred, her limbs still heavy with the weight of sleep. She vaguely remembered him pressing a kiss to her forehead and whispering in her ear that he was leaving. She had scrunched her brows in displeasure and plastered her body to his side of the bed, and he had smoothed the hair out of her face before placing another blanket over her. She hadn't seen his grin, but she could imagine it now.

Heaving a sigh, she peeled the covers away from her body and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, standing up. The room was cold, as the house usually became when the temperature outside dropped, but her skin retained the warmth of her cozy cocoon, so there was no shiver to wreck her body as she stretched.

She had no energy levels whatsoever, she concluded when she had gathered her clothes and slipped out on the door, making her way to her own bedroom. She supposed it was due to a mixture of the weather and the emotional exhaustion of the past week. In any case, she was grateful it was a Sunday and she didn't have to deal with attending classes and being social.

She set her shoes on the floor and tossed her dress in the wash bin on her way to the bathroom. Turning on the shower, she stifled a yawn and slipped Yoh's shirt off her shoulders, letting it fall and pool around her feet before stepping under the nozzle of the shower. The hot water relaxed her body as it traveled down her skin in rivulets, and she closed her eyes in contentment.

They had spent the day before indoors, with not much interaction with the other members of the household. Yoh hadn't seemed particularly intent on discussing anything with her, but she was certain that he was feeling better, considering the fact that he had left. He was much like her in that regard: he didn't spend much time moping around. He knew that life went on with or without him, and even if it still hurt, he had to keep up with it and move on.

She finished her shower quickly, washed her hair and her body before stepping out and wrapping a towel around herself to absorb the moisture. She pulled on a set of clean underwear and blow dried her hair before making her way to her wardrobe, from where she fetched a grey sweater and a pair of black pants. She wasn't even in the mood for heels, which was strange, because Anna was always in the mood for heels.

She had put her boots on and was in the process of pulling her hair in a ponytail when there was a knock on her door.

Anna furrowed her brows. "What?" she demanded.

Pirika poked her head inside the room, sheepish grin in place. "I want shoes," she declared.

The blonde turned to give her a bland look. "Wonderful," she drawled.

"Come with me?" she pleaded, still smiling. "Please?"

Anna heaved a sigh.

–

–

–

One hour later, there was nothing that she despised more than her own decision, she mused as she made her way down the large hall, towards the café where Pirika had insisted they headed for a drink. The blonde had refused to be dragged through the mall, so she promised to follow her at her own pace. She may have taken a moment or two to breathe, though, because shopping in itself was an activity she hardly ever enjoyed when she was not in the mood, and shopping with Pirika was even more exhausting. The amount of energy that girl had was incredible, and on a rainy day such as this one, Anna told herself it had been a truly bad idea to agree to this, in the first place.

The large mall had various places, but of course the blue-haired girl would choose the one with the best view towards the city. Thankfully and fortunately for Anna, that was also the farthest away from where she had chosen she wanted to start shopping, so it gave her a bit more time to herself. She supposed she would grab a drink and then head home to curl up in bed with a good book… or with her eyes closed and the covers over her head.

She heaved yet another sigh as she turned the corner to the café, because she had a feeling that disappearing from Pirika's radar wouldn't be such an easy task.

She stopped dead in her tracks the moment she took her first step, though, her blue eyes instantly alert. There was a man talking to a grinning Pirika – a man she recalled with absolute clarity. His lips curled into a smirk when he caught sight of her, and Anna clenched her jaw in anger.

She did very little thinking before she was making her way towards them, action which seemed to amuse him. With a final whisper that made Pirika laugh, he stood swiftly from his seat and moved to intercept Anna.

"Leave," she hissed the moment he was in hearing range. Thankfully, there was no one that was paying them attention.

"Why?" He grinned. "Your friend seemed to enjoy my company."

"What do you want?" she asked through gritted teeth, fighting for control over her riveting anger.

His voice was suave and infused with smugness when he answered, "You know what I want, sweetheart. Why else would you see me around you?"

She clenched her jaw, her blue eyes burning through him.

"Yoh isn't here," he continued. "But your friend is. And she seems rather… naïve, wouldn't you say? She seems like the type of person who would trust someone like me. And that… wouldn't really bring her happiness, don't you think?"

"Fuck off," she hissed, before she turned to leave.

But then, in stark contrast to his smug words and gentle tone, he grabbed her arm and violently tugged her back into place.

"Hey, hey, calm down," he said, and there was a dark glint in his eyes that, she knew, should have scared her. As it was, she was once again too angry to have room for another emotion in her veins. "We're not done talking."

She replicated with the deadliest glare she could manage.

He grinned. "I know…" he drawled, visibly amused. "I know you're a spitfire, I got that right, but it really only takes one second. And I have very good aim. You wouldn't want to know how good."

"What do you want?" she demanded, yanking her arm from his grasp with the same violence he had used.

His smile widened. "Come with me."

There was hesitation in her eyes as she once again clenched in her jaw in pure, unadulterated anger, but she was quick to realize that she had no other option. She was Anna; she was level-headed even when she was dominated by raging emotions, and if there was one thing she could do like no one else could even dream of doing, that was taking decisions under pressure. It was a familiar spot on uncharted territory and, had her mind not been swamped with thoughts, she would have been grateful for it. As it was, gratitude was the last thing on her mind.

Slapping his hand off her lower back as she turned around, she stalked out of the café, trying hard to ignore his presence hovering by her side as her brain whirled and buzzed into overdrive to make connections and find a way out of her predicament.

–

–

–

"Guys," Pirika greeted as she eased herself in a seat at their table, setting her shopping bags on the floor beside her.

All heads turned to look at her.

"The weirdest thing just happened."

Jun frowned, amused. "What happened, Pirika?"

"I went shopping with Anna," she said.

She laughed. "Good job! We all did."

"I didn't," Yoh said.

"You should," Jun supplied, smiling. "That girl looks good in _everything_. And I mean it. She can pull anything off."

"That's not the weird part," the blue-haired girl cut in, shaking her head.

Jun turned to regard her curiously. "Then what is it?"

"A guy came to talk to me," she answered. "And he was cute – like, really cute. Not a great personality, but hey, you can't have everything, right?"

"That's true," the older woman agreed, amused, as she stirred her drink with her colored straw.

"He was blond and had this lean build and such a voice," she gasped out, sagging dramatically and making her laugh. "Thank God Horo-Horo isn't here," she stage-whispered, and Yoh laughed. She missed Ren's scowl entirely, but his elder sister didn't – and that became apparent when she sent him a smirk.

Pirika ploughed on, oblivious. "But whatever, I'm getting off track. He saw Anna. And like, duh, every man sees Anna." She rolled her eyes. "He went to her, they talked, and then she left with him."

As alarm signals started to go off one by one in her head, Jun's smile slipped from her face.

"Just like that. And that's not even the weird part. The weird part is that I don't know him. I don't remember seeing him before. I don't even think he's familiar!"

"Anna wouldn't go anywhere with someone she doesn't know," Yoh drawled.

"No, I know she's not that sociable," Pirika agreed. "But she did go with him."

"Do you know what they talked about?" Jun asked, though she was almost afraid to hear the answer.

"No, they were too far away." A furrow appeared between her brows as she seemed to recollect any detail that might have initially escaped her. "One thing that I can tell you, though, is that Anna didn't look very happy with his presence. Actually, now that I think about it, she didn't seem very happy to go with him, either." She paused and, flipping her hair over her shoulder, barked a laugh. "Which I know is idiotic, because who can force Anna to do what she doesn't want to do, right? But I –"

"How did he look like?" Jun demanded, hands flat on the table as she leaned in closer to Pirika.

Both Yoh and Ren frowned at her unusual behavior.

"Blond hair, green eyes… sexy?" Her answer was hesitant.

"Jun, she's fine," the Asakura tried to reassure her. "She –"

"No, you don't get it!" she snapped, abruptly turning to face him. "Anna –" Catching herself in the nick of time, she pressed her lips together. Her decision was quickly made and the battle inside her won as she realized that she didn't have much time to lose and think about what Anna would like her to do – but rather what would do her good. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Yoh furrowed his brows and hesitated, but stood, regardless. "Sure," he said, following her out of the building.

Once outside in the crisp, cool winter air, Jun stopped and wrapped her arms around her middle section.

Burying his hands into his pockets, the brunet came to a stop beside her. "Jun, what is all of this about?"

She let out a long, even breath. "Look," she said, turning her gaze upon him. "I know I shouldn't be telling you this, and God help me if this isn't what I think, but if is… you need to know."

"Need to know what?" he asked, more forcefully – almost irritated. There were always rare chances for Yoh Asakura to become irritated, but when they were, they most probably had to do with his fiancée.

"Anna's in danger," she whispered.

"Why?" he immediately asked, taking a hurried step closer. "What makes you say that, Jun?"

"Her family…" She struggled. "Anna's… Anna's _that_ Kyoyama Anna. She…" She closed her eyes. "Please don't make me say more. It's really not my place."

For a moment, Yoh seemed to struggle with the notion. Then, shaking his head, he dismissed it in an instant, "Anna's… no," he said. "Look, Jun, I don't know what brought this about, but… but no. She would have told me."

"Yoh, Anna… she isn't really –"

"I even _asked_ her once," he interrupted. "She's even had the perfect opportunity to tell me. If she had known what I was talking about, she would have told me. Alright? I trust her."

"Yoh, she _knows_," she insisted, looking straight into his eyes in an effort to make him understand. "She knows. She's not happy about it, and maybe that's why she hasn't told you anything, but she's very much aware of who she is and what that entails."

"But –"

"I don't know much about the relationship between the two of you," she continued. "I understand that you expected her to tell you. It's normal and it's logical and I – I agree with you on every possible level, but this isn't the time nor place. You need to look past that," she stressed. "You need to find a way to ignore that, because there's a high possibility that she needs you right now. You need to find her and to make sure she's safe, and if she isn't, you need to _protect_ her. She can't defend herself against them, you _know_ that."

"Fuck," he cursed, after a moment, once her words registered in his mind, and ran an agitated hand through his hair. "Fuck! Tell Ren! Tell him to – I don't even know. I'm going."

–

–

–

Anna's hand trembled as she laid it back on the steering wheel after shifting gears and coming to a stop in front of a red traffic light.

"You're a badass, aren't you?" his voice mocked from behind her. "I've heard, but I didn't think you wouldn't even wear your seatbelt."

Her jaw clenched and her muscles tensed. Had he not been sitting behind her with a gun in his hand, she would have sent him to hell and refused to be held accountable for her actions. Every feeling in the book coursed through the veins, and she was making the hardest effort to contain them. So far so good, but she would not last much longer. Anna hated being threatened and she had never been good at controlling her temper. She had never had a single reason to.

Taking in a deep breath, she tried to relax her body as the car started moving again and she glanced back in the rearview mirror. She still wasn't sure what he wanted from her. It most definitely wasn't something good, but Anna had no plans of sticking around to find out. She needed to get away. She needed to find a way to leave. Turning her eyes back to the front, she noticed the empty road stretching out before her.

He had told her to drive him to the airport. She found it ridiculous that he would think even for a second that she would do as she was told. But she knew Tokyo like the back of her hand, and she had realized, very early on, that if she had any chance of escaping him when he had a gun in his hand and she didn't even have her rosary, that would have to be done by using all the advantages she had at her disposal.

Anna knew how to drive. Yoh had complained that she drove too fast, and he had not been the only one, but the blonde was in complete control of the vehicle when she was behind the wheel. Perhaps that was why she found it so enjoyable. And that was why, the moment she had the chance, she slammed hard on the brakes and swiftly turned the steering wheel. The car behaved exactly as she had thought it would—it skidded round on the damp road and slammed into a pole right behind her. She heard a groan and felt little shreds of glass catching in her hair, but she didn't linger to gather information; she moved to the passenger seat and slammed the door open. She may be arrogant, but she wasn't stupid. She knew time was not on her side.

"Bitch," she heard the man groan, and jumped out of the vehicle. She never looked back as she dashed away, heading back to the heart of the city.

It was ridiculous how good she was at that—at running. It represented her more than anything else. She did it in every aspect of her life. People thought she was courageous and straight-forward, and she was, no doubt about that, but her first option was always running. Something good had to come out of it at least, she thought.

She had never imagined she would find herself in such a situation, though. She had never even _considered_ the idea that it could or could not happen. She had ignored it completely. And it occurred to her then that perhaps that hadn't been the best course of action.

_Shit_, she swore in her head as she pushed her legs to go faster. She had no sense of direction whatsoever. She had no idea if someone was following her, if the man had recovered or if there were even more people on her trail. Skidding to a halt in a corner, she chanced a glance behind her. Her jaw tightened when she noticed him struggling to catch up with her, but she didn't waste time watching him, and started running again.

She should have been more prepared for this, she told herself. She should have, because she hated the unexpected, but really, how could she have prepared herself for something she didn't even want to hear about? Even now, as she looked back on the past, she realized she wouldn't have done things any differently—not if that meant dwelling on the matter of her family.

Shaking her head, she tried to block any unwanted thoughts from seeping in her brain and put herself together, because if she couldn't think clearly, she wasn't going to escape this situation.

The park was empty when she stumbled her way in through one of the many alleyways. She hadn't expected it to be any different. It was large and therefore never crowded and who went for walks in the middle of the day when the skies were threatening to open up, the wind was blowing, and the weather was cold and humid and utterly unattractive? No one.

Sweat began to bead at her brow as she struggled to maintain her fast pace. Her heartbeat picked up in an instant as the tell-tale sound of another pair of feet pounding against the pavement reached her ears. Escaping the crowded streets had seemed like a good idea when she had made a dash for the park, figuring dodging people would slow her down, but she was starting to second-guess herself now.

Merely a second later, a gunshot tore through the silence of her surroundings. Anna screamed despite herself.

Footsteps continued to shadow her, and she had no doubt that if she had been anywhere more to the right, she would have been dead by now. The knowledge sent a new, different flood of adrenaline through her veins, and she skidded down another path, panic settling deeper in her gut as she realized that her legs were starting to hurt and her breathing to become too accelerated. Anna was in good shape, and she was counting on that; if she was starting to grow tired…

Thunder rumbled, another gunshot was heard, and she ran with all she had to the end of the alley, where the park ended and she was thrown back in the hustle and bustle of the city. She didn't even glance around the street when she crossed it. Every muscle in her body seemed to fail her as she stumbled onto the pavement and slammed into the hard wall of a building. It took everything in her not to allow her body to fall in a disgraceful heap on the sidewalk. It seemed as though she had to make an inhuman effort to force her legs to start moving again.

But she didn't get very far this time. Footsteps were suddenly closer and closer and closing in on her and she tried to remedy that by ducking in another alley, but she stumbled—and a moment of hesitation was all it took. Because, just as she did, a hand shot out and grabbed a fistful of blonde hair, forcefully tugging her head back and stopping her from moving another inch.

She grunted at the sting and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to work on stabilizing her breathing but failing miserably. The man pushed her forwards and she had no other choice but to comply. She only noticed it was a dead-end when she opened her eyes and felt the cold tip of a gun resting against the nape of her neck.

"You are one tough bitch, has anybody told you that?" she heard him ask. She could hear his own labored breathing fanning against her ear and her blonde hair.

Clenching her jaw, she trashed her elbow into his stomach as hard as she could. The grip on her hair loosened enough for her to stumble forward as the man doubled over in pain. He fired the gun before she could make another move, though, destroying a brick to pieces and freezing her in place. Grabbing her hair again, he slammed her into the wall. She groaned.

"And you just… cling to life, don't you?" he continued, watching as she ignored the pain and backed away with no small amount of irritation in her eyes.

Her heart was beating so frantically it felt as though it was almost trying to burst out of her chest as she stumbled backwards and hit the wall hard. She didn't feel the pain. All she felt was fear. Anna was not unfamiliar with that emotion, despite the impression people seemed to be under. But she had never been so numb because of it.

"I have to tell you, it's been fun." Lifting the gun, he pointed it at her. A moment passed, and Anna swore he could hear her heartbeat. "But it's over now."

A gunshot ripped through the air then.

Silence ensued.

–

–

–

Moonlight shone through the large, floor to ceiling windows that adorned the far wall of the kitchen, illuminating his figure as he sat at the dining room table, a small bottle of water in front of him. His blue eyes stared straight ahead as he was lost in his thoughts – so lost that he was unable to hear footsteps coming down the hall.

It was only when he heard her voice that he snapped out of his daze.

"What's going on?"

He immediately turned his head in the direction of the sound, his brows furrowing slightly when he saw his mother standing in the doorway, dressed in a black nightgown and with her blonde hair falling down her back in soft curls.

"Can't sleep," he answered simply after a moment of silence.

Her forehead creased with worry. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," he said, shrugging.

"You have school tomorrow," she tried again.

He wrinkled his nose. "I know."

Lindsee laughed lightly as she made her way further into the room. "Seriously, what's wrong? It's not like you not to sleep when you get the opportunity."

Christopher sighed and placed his bottle of water down on the table. "I don't know," he confessed. Then he titled his head in her direction, watching, with a curious expression, as she opened the door to the refrigerator to retrieve her own bottle of water. "Why are _you_ up?"

She threw him an amused look. "I was thirsty." Nudging the door shut, she walked across the large room and made her way towards the dining area, where he sat. Sliding in a chair across from him, she smiled at his rumpled hair and bored expression. "I know I've told you this before, but I'm really glad you're home," she confessed in a soft voice.

He grinned. "And in one piece, I bet."

She rolled her eyes. "You need to stop talking like that."

"It's fine now, Mom," he assured her with a gentle smile. "I know I scared you, but I'm fine." He could tell that she didn't believe him, but that was alright, because it had never been his intention. It had stopped being that from the moment he realized it was impossible for him to keep his promises and fulfill her wishes – and that had been quite early on.

"I just want you to be safe, sweetie," she said, amber eyes soft as they watched him. "I couldn't bear to lose you, too."

He frowned. "I know," he confirmed. Then, leaning forward on his elbows, he seemed to hesitate. "Mom… Do you ever… think about her?"

He could tell by her expression that she was taken aback, but that was not to say she was as surprised as he had expected her to be. This was a subject that was almost never touched in his family, but his mother seemed to have been waiting for his question.

Regardless, it was a while until she could answer it.

"I always think about her," she whispered, gazing down at the table. "Sometimes more often than others, I admit. You… build your life again and learn how to live it, but in the end… in the end, a part of you will always be gone." Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair and turned her gaze back upon him. "Christopher, I know we haven't been the most open family when it comes to Anna. But I wouldn't want you to think, even for a second, that I don't care about her anymore."

"I never said that!" he was quick to deny. "I know you do. It's just… hard to tell how much."

She huffed a breath. "Probably more than you imagine."

For a long moment, he was silent. "I… I've been thinking about her," he admitted. "When I was in Tokyo… my mind was all over the place. And it wandered. And I started to think… about her." He shrugged. "I'm curious. How she looks, how she's like…"

"I wish I could answer all the questions you probably have…" she murmured sadly. "But I don't know how."

"Why don't we talk about her?" he asked all of a sudden.

"For two reasons: because it's painful and because it's dangerous. And those two complete each other in such a way that… that there's no middle ground. That's your father right there. And I have to admit, sometimes I'm not sure if I want to be upset or be grateful because of it."

"Yeah, he's…" He frowned. "Got loads of self-control."

Lindsee smiled and rested her chin on her hand. "You know, I won't deny that annoys me, too, sometimes. But in the end, what you and I always need to remember… is that he's the one who saw Anna last. He's the one who's had to look at her in the eye and promise her he'd be back. He's the one who's had to speak the last words to his daughter—and make them a lie."

"I know," he whispered, looking down. It wasn't often that he and his father were on the same page when it came to decision making, but Christopher could recognize that he had made the right one by letting his younger sister go. It couldn't have been easy, and that was exactly why he was sure it had been the right thing to do at the time. Because, to his father – he could remember clearly – Anna was nearly _everything_. And if there had been a way for her to remain by their side, he would have found it and would have made it happen.

But there hadn't, and now there they were – talking about someone that shared the very same blood with them as though she were a stranger.

"You know, if I ever see her… if I ever get to meet her, I'm going to talk to her," he stated, firmly and resolutely.

His mother laughed. "Is that a plan?"

"Yes," he answered.

"I'm very happy to hear you'd have that courage," she told him, her expression warm.

Anna had been deprived of everything the moment they broke their ties with her, and to know that she at least had her brother… that would mean more to her, as a mother, than anybody could possibly ever understand. Probably not even her own husband would. He would deem it dangerous; he would try to stop it from happening. But despite the fact that Lindsee was perfectly aware of the danger her entire family – and her daughter more than anybody – was in, her heart still spoke louder. Her heart wanted her daughter back. Her heart still desperately wanted to love her and give her everything in order to ensure that she was happy. Her heart still wanted her near. And if having her near meant having her know her brother, then that was fine.

Anthony had his suspicions that she had found out about them. She had hers, as well, and they had confessed that to each other on one of the rare occasions that he had indulged her in talking about her. Even then, he had tried to distract her and mask his pain. But Lindsee knew what he was feeling – she knew because she felt the same way. And she knew because she was well-aware that it hurt him a million times more.

"I will," Christopher assured her, bringing yet another smile to her face.

"How's your friend?" she asked, changing the subject as she slid out of her chair.

Her son mimicked her movements, and together, they began to make their way out of the kitchen, through the living room, and back upstairs.

"Who?" he asked. "Yoh?"

"Yes," she said. "You mentioned Silva was important to him."

"Yeah, he was… But he'll be fine," he concluded. Then he stopped, and thought again. "If he isn't already. Yoh isn't really the type of person to mourn… anything. Maybe for a day. Besides," he added with a shrug, "I hear he's got a great girlfriend."

"Has he, now?" Lindsee laughed.

"Yes," he answered. Then, slinging an arm over her shoulder, he groaned. "My God, Brian wouldn't shut up about it. He saw her – and I mean, he _searched_ for her – and he went on and on about how beautiful she is all the way back from Tokyo. He only kept his mouth shut when Dad was with us, but that wasn't very often."

"That's good." She smiled. "You guys need good women to take care of you."

Grinning down at her, Christopher nudged her. "Like you."

She grinned back. "Like me," she confirmed.

–

–

–

Anna opened her eyes, her entire body trembling uncontrollably. A gasp escaped her lips, unbidden, as they fell upon the scene taking place right in front of her.

The threat to her address was gone; the gun that had been previously aimed at her head had clattered to the ground and was now lying motionless on the wet pavement. A tall figure stood in the alleyway, obstructing what little light had been, his shadow looming over her like a dark cloud.

"Go," his hard voice commanded, as he flicked his head towards the entrance of the narrow alley.

But she was frozen. Her blue eyes moved from his towering form to the man now lying on the ground in a rapidly increasing pool of his own blood, before coming back up again. She saw bright green eyes narrow at her reticence, and her breath hitched.

"Go!" he exclaimed, more forcefully.

Anna straightened and took a hesitant step forward. Her mouth was dry, so she tried to swallow and lick her lips before speaking. "What…?" Even then, her voice came out raspy and shaky.

"I said, go!" he growled, and in one swift movement, grabbed her arm and pulled harshly, sending her stumbling forward.

She didn't need any more encouragement. She walked out at a rapid pace, only glancing behind her once, when she heard a weak groan, and not truly registering what she saw.

In no time, she once again reached the busy streets of Tokyo. People passed by her in a blur. The sound of traffic fell on deaf ears. Her hands were constantly running through her long hair, and her heartbeat was erratic as she struggled to understand what had happened. She wasn't even looking where she was going.

It was only when her way was cut off that she snapped out of her daze. She was about to cross the street when a sleek, black car suddenly screeched to a stop in front of her. The window rolled down, revealing a familiar face.

"Get in," the man commanded.

Anna had never thought she would be so happy to see En. But she was now, and didn't hesitate for a second in doing exactly as she was asked.

The first couple of minutes were spent in silence as she tried and tried to get her heartbeat under control.

Then he shattered it with a single glance in her direction.

"What's going on?" he demanded to know, his tone leaving almost no room for argument. Almost, but not quite, because with Anna, there was always room for everything she desired.

"What do you mean?" she retorted, and she wondered how in the world she managed to keep her voice so steady.

"I've never seen you agitated," he reasoned. "It's a first."

"You don't even _know_ me!" she exclaimed, frowning in his direction.

En's mouth twisted. "I know you better than you think."

Anna rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "You know what? I've been told that a lot lately, so you're a little late," she snapped, annoyed.

The car came to a stop, and it was only then that she realized he had brought her home. But there was no time for her to contemplate his decision or her next move, because he turned to face her, demanding her full attention.

"Don't roll your eyes at me," he said, and she raised an eyebrow. "You can be rebel and upset and even miserable if you want to, but don't forget that this is not a game. And if I'm right, you've already seen it. Don't close your eyes and pretend you haven't, because that's not going to keep you alive."

It was as though every ill feeling swirling inside her had suddenly been directed to the person across from her. Anger bubbled up beneath her skin until it was almost overwhelming and she was forced to leave the vehicle.

As she slammed the door behind her as hard as she could, Anna swore to herself that she would never find herself in such a situation. Never again. No one was making a single decision regarding her life anymore – no one other than her had that right.

Others had played enough with it. The game was over now.

–

–

–

Anna gasped as the cold water hit her skin at full force, sucking the air out of her lungs. Rebelling against the natural urge to flee, she rested her forehead against the cold tile and released a shuddering breath.

The last couple of events seemed unreal. Even more unreal seemed her emotions. The way she had acted… it was as if she was seeing a movie – and it was the most horrible one. When had anger turned into fear? She didn't know, and she hated herself for it. She had been completely paralyzed in a way she had never been before. She had felt fear throughout her life. She had even feared herself at a certain point. She had _hated_ herself. She had had every feeling in the book for both herself and the world around her.

But she had been under the impression that she had learned how to control them, that she had grasped the reigns of her life. She had never been foolish enough to believe she had a good grip on the current situation, but she had also never thought she would have to face it, either. After ten whole years, it was hard to believe the past would come back to haunt her. Everything had seemed so far behind, so broken from her reality, so unlike something that would happen to her, of all the people… No one ever picked on Kyoyama Anna, because no one cared; no one made her feel afraid, because no one was stupid enough to challenge her.

She wondered if that was another one of the façades she was hiding behind. She wondered if _people_ thought she was strong when, in reality, she was weak. She wondered if someone had finally managed to somehow see how vulnerable she actually was on the inside. And if they had, they had hit bull's eye, because she didn't know how to deal with this.

A startled gasp escaped her lips, a gasp that would normally never come from her, when the door suddenly slid open and a hand shot inside to grab her arm, forcefully pulling her out. She stumbled into the bathroom, wet strands of blonde hair sticking to her face and shoulders, blue eyes wide as she watched Yoh reach inside to shut off the freezing water with a harsh furrow between his brows.

"What are you doing?" he chastised in a hiss, irritation clearly etched on his features and sewn in his voice. His gaze was furthest away from kind as he surveyed her almost-naked body; with a huff of disapproval, he grabbed a towel from the rack and unceremoniously threw it in her direction.

Anna caught it, confused, but not quite managing a scowl or even a frown; unfolding the soft material, she held it to her chest, her bra soaking through it almost immediately, and slowly moved past him. The world was in a daze around her. She was angry and upset and still so petrified with fear and she simply had no time to deal with an irritated Yoh and his questions.

As if on cue, his voice rang out from behind her, "What happened?"

She almost rolled her eyes. Of course, why would the universe have any pity on her? "What do you mean?" she drawled.

"You know exactly what I mean," he hissed, and the viciousness of his words made her stop in her tracks and turn around to face him. "Answer my question."

She shrugged. "I was feeling faint –"

"So you decided that a cold shower would wake you up," he completed, rolling his eyes. "Nice story. Now answer my question."

There was so much clarity in her blue eyes that it almost startled him. There was nothing – absolutely nothing – that would hint at anything at all. Any person who didn't know her would probably take a look at her and say that nothing had happened, that she simply _had_ been feeling faint and had managed to recover.

But Yoh knew better. He knew the look in her eyes – and it was not one of clarity; it was the look she wore when she had something to hide. Every day now, ever since their relationship had reached that point in its evolution, Yoh could see the emotions in her blue eyes. Now, he could see nothing – nothing apart from the perfectly timed and perfectly accurate emotions that she wanted to project. That look irritated him like nothing else about her ever had, ever did, and ever would.

And when he saw it now, his entire wish about how Jun was wrong, about how Anna didn't truly comprehend what was going on, was shattered. No, she did understand. She understood perfectly. She knew exactly who she was and what that implied. She knew what they wanted from her. And perhaps even more importantly, she had known it all along.

It took her no longer than two seconds to make the necessary connections. Her gaze molded into a glare. "Who told you?" she seethed.

"Not you, and that's the only thing that matters," he countered, glaring at her.

Clenching her jaw, she looked away, wrapping the towel tighter around herself. A moment passed in silence, before she rolled her eyes and brushed past him on her way to the wardrobe.

"This is ridiculous," she muttered.

"Yes, it is," he agreed. "It is _beyond_ ridiculous that my own _fiancée_ doesn't trust me and is so stubborn to the point where she'd put her life in danger before even _considering_ opening her mouth and speaking up!"

"You know what –" She started, whipping around to face him, but closed her mouth and stopped before she could go any further. Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to the closet. "Forget it," she murmured. There was nothing she could say that could ameliorate the situation, and the last thing she wanted was for this discussion to blow out into a fight. Fights with Yoh were never pleasant. He was too stubborn, his arguments were too grounded, and she always ended up losing.

"When did you find out?" he demanded.

She sighed as she realized that he had no intention whatsoever of letting it go. Grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a tank-top from one of the many shelves, she turned and headed back to her bed. "A few months ago," she answered as she walked past him. "Right when you came back, actually."

"Who did you tell about this?"

"No one," she answered, more forcefully than she had meant. "I mean, Jun knows… _obviously_. But that's because she stuck her nose in belongings that were not her own. I never wanted her to find out."

Taking a seat on the bed, she had never felt so exhausted. She was drained, physically and mentally, and she could feel the disappointment radiating from Yoh in waves. As much anger as she felt towards the fact that the decision of telling him and the choice of when she would do it had been taken from her hands, it didn't compare to this overpowering feeling that she couldn't identify and that threatened to swallow her whole.

Crouching down in front of her, he caught her gaze. "Why not?" he asked. "Why did you keep this a secret, Anna?"

"Because it was my problem," she snapped. "No one else needed to know how fucked up my life was."

"Oh, yeah?" He raised his eyebrows. "So, in your opinion, no one else needed to know that there are people out there who want to _kill_ you. No on else needed to know that you're in danger, that you –"

"I can take care of myself!" she hissed. "I've done it for the past ten years and I've never needed anyone's help."

"Well, of course you haven't!" He raised his voice, standing up. "And even if you had, why would you ever admit it, right? Why would you ever tell your _fiancé_ what you're going through? It's not like he cares about you and wants – _needs_ – to know!"

"I _wanted_ to tell you!" she spoke through gritted teeth, glaring up at him. "I wanted to tell you –"

"That's bullshit, Anna!" he snapped. "You and I know it perfectly well! That was a split-second decision that you probably didn't even think through – and afterwards, all you did was search for excuses! That's what you always do! That's what you're all about! _Excuses_ – always hiding behind them!"

Shocked, she opened her mouth to speak, only to have him interrupt her, though in a much calmer, much more controlled voice.

"Since today seems to be all about being honest, I'll tell you something: you have no idea how many times I've wondered what I truly mean to you. It's obvious you don't need me. It's obvious you don't want my help – or anything else I can offer you. You said you wanted me to become Shaman King so that I can give you an easy life, and now that I did, your purposes in life seemed to have changed by 180 degrees! You've known me for so long, and yet, you can't wrap your mind around the idea that you are _safe_ with me. That you can let your guard _down_ around me. That I can protect you from anything and anyone. You don't _trust_ me! You never tell me anything, not even important things like these!"

"Stop it!" she hissed. "You know how hard it is for me to open up, even to you. This subject isn't easy to approach. I –"

"You what?" he yelled, and she flinched. He had never raised his voice so much at her. "I _asked_ you about it, Anna," he continued. "I asked you about it and only now do I realize that you'd known all along what I was talking about. You had your moment; what you didn't have was the smallest intention to speak to me." Pausing, he took in a deep breath and then once again crouched down in front of her. "Look at me, Anna," he encouraged, waiting until she did. His voice was calmer now – softer, gentler. He sounded almost resigned. "Look at me in the eye and tell me I didn't give you time. Tell me I didn't give you a chance to become comfortable around me. Tell me that I betrayed your trust, at least once since we've known each other."

A long moment passed in silence. Anna averted her gaze.

"You can't, can you? The reason why you haven't opened up to me yet is because you don't want to, Anna. All this time, you've been waiting for me to give you a reason to lose your trust in me. All this time, you've been waiting for me to betray you. Maybe you still are. And I'm very sorry. Because that's one wish I'll never grant you."

–

–

–

_A/N: Hello! Sorry for taking so long! That fourth scene drove me insane! It's so hard to write Anna as scared and vulnerable, so I can only hope it turned out alright. I think it was my first scene of the type, too. That being said, I may come back to edit it later on, haha!_

_I just love the idea of her being so close and her family not knowing. It's life, you know? Haha! _

_Also, I realized I might have to make some changes in the past chapters—regarding the characters' thoughts, feelings, and behavior—because the plot has changed quite a lot since I first started writing this story. I swear, this plot is crazy, it's constantly changing! But, oh well, I guess it can only get better, haha!_

_Please review! I need and love your feedback! _


	12. Everything

–

**Everybody wants to be loved,**

**Every once in a while…**

**We all need someone to hold on to**

**Just like a helpless child.**

**Can you whisper in my ear,**

**Let me know it's alright?**

—"_Long Time Coming" by Oliver_

–

The following morning, Anna was the first to wake up. The sky was dark and the city still glowed with the light of the streetlamps. The weather seemed to be stable, albeit cold, the wind blowing strongly.

Slipping out of bed, the blonde walked into the attached bathroom, stripped, and headed straight for the shower. She needed a couple of moments under the hot spray of water; she needed it to relax her still tense muscles and clear away the last traces of adrenaline that, unexplainably so, still lingered in her system.

No one had come to bother her the rest of the day before. After Yoh left, slamming the door behind him, she didn't leave her room again; she could hear voices downstairs all throughout the evening, but she didn't join them for dinner. She wasn't sure she could bring herself to swallow anything other than water, either way.

Instead, she curled up on her bed with a small pillow and the softest blanket she owned, closed her eyes and tried to will away her tears, her apprehension, her anger, her fear, and all the mixed emotions that had turned her insides into a battlefield. She would never openly admit it, but she could still feel the terror coursing through her veins, even when she was home, nestled on her bed, with the house full and her fiancé downstairs. She had been ten years old the last time she had felt so impotent, and it wasn't a state of mind she had ever wished she would be in again.

Her sleep was restless. She didn't have nightmares, but her thoughts didn't leave her be. She would fall asleep and wake up after a mere ten minutes, confused as to where she was and why she was feeling the way she was. The first time she had awoken in that state had been at nine, and the process repeated numerous times throughout the night. At some point, she had become so frustrated that she literally wanted to cry; one or two tears might have escaped her eyes with the occasion, but she was quick to brush them away.

She desperately wanted to see Yoh. She wanted to slip under the covers with him and rest her head on his warm chest and hope with all her might that his secure embrace would lull her into a peaceful sleep. If he was still mad at her then he didn't even have to hug her. She could climb in bed with him and bury her face into his pillow and sensing his comforting presence beside her would be enough.

There wasn't enough courage in her for such a bold action, though. If Yoh wanted her presence, he would be there, with her. Needless to say, he wasn't.

Eventually, she believed she was able to sleep for a full two hours. Then she woke up, and knew it would be a waste of time and energy to even try to fall back into unconsciousness.

She was silent as she moved around the house that morning, not trying to hide her presence, but not going out of her way to announce it, either.

When the first streak of lighter blue became evident in the horizon, she unlocked the front door and stepped outside into the freezing cold. She was aware of the fact that she was probably only ruining her relationship with Yoh even more by leaving by herself, without telling anybody, when it was still dark outside and after what had just happened the day before, but frankly, she couldn't bring herself to care. She _wanted_ to; she knew she should. But she simply didn't find it within her.

She didn't head to school right away. There was no point, even though the road there was long when she decided to walk. She stopped by a small café that was just opening on the way. She was one of the first clients of the day, and she relished the silence and peacefulness as she tried to enjoy a cup of coffee. She had hoped it would wake her up, but what it did instead was make her stomach queasy. She wasn't able to take more than two sips.

Her first class was Literature. Pirika had gravitated to Ren's side the moment he decided to join them a couple of months back, and her new desk-mate, Daichi, seemed to have deemed himself worthy of a break, seeing as he was missing. She couldn't be more grateful for that.

As Mrs. Hideyoshi rambled on and on about yet another book, Anna kept her hand in her hair and her eyes on her open notebook. She couldn't focus on the lecture, but she couldn't even focus on her own thoughts with everything the woman was saying. She resumed at not showing her conflicted emotions on the outside.

At a certain point, when the teacher was slowly starting to realize that the class had been hopelessly sucked into a state of general boredom, Ren turned in his seat to face her briefly.

"Wait for me after class," he commanded.

Anna glanced up at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Neither Yoh, nor me—nor _anybody_ else—wants to see any more of your stupid behavior."

The blonde bristled. "Isn't it unbelievable how everybody is fighting to solve _my_ problems?" she hissed between her teeth.

Ren replied in a hiss of his own, this time without even facing her. "Of course," he said. "That's what people do with _children_. And maybe when you stop acting like one, people will start treating you like an adult."

Anna's mouth dropped open in shock. What was _wrong_ with the world? A glare forming in her eyes, she didn't hesitate for a second before she reached out and swiftly slapped the back of Ren's head.

The Tao turned to reciprocate her glare, while Pirika burst into laughter and Mrs. Hideyoshi turned to look at their trio. She smiled, sighed, and shook her head—amused.

"Alright, I suppose that makes it clear," she announced. "See you next time, everybody."

That was all Anna needed to hear. Slamming her notebook shut, she pushed her chair back and headed out of the classroom, intentionally quickening her usual pace and never once looking back. Forcefully pulling the door of her locker open, she carelessly deposited her notebook inside, grabbed her coat and her bag and then slammed it back closed. She didn't care how it affected her or her grades or even her future, because she wasn't staying there a minute more. It had been stupid of her to believe she could focus on anything and it had been even stupider to think that this was the place to avoid her problems. It wasn't; nothing would be anymore.

Storming outside while shrugging on her coat, her breath caught in her throat when she caught her first glimpse of her fiancé. There he was, his hands buried inside his pockets, talking to Horo-Horo about what she could only assume was an idiotic matter so characteristic to them. She could expect something else from the Asakura, but not from the blue-haired Ainu, and her theory was confirmed when she saw Yoh grin. It wasn't his usual grin, though, and she could see that clearly. Something held it back; something made it less sincere.

Breathing out, she advanced down the first step. Her eyes filled with tears as the pure anger she had been feeling only moments ago dissipated, replaced instead by vulnerability and helplessness; the pain that stirred in her chest at the sight of him made her swallow a nonexistent lump in her throat.

Yoh would never hit her. He would never shout hurtful words at her. He would never purposefully ignore her after a fight. He would never leave her. But he would always tell her the truth—and, most of the times, that hurt more than anything.

Casting her eyes on the ground, she walked down the final steps and headed in his direction. He obviously noticed her approach, since what little amusement there was in his eyes died out, but that didn't deter her.

"Disappear," she barked to Horo-Horo, barely sparing him a glance.

He glared, but did as he was told, burying his hands into his pockets and storming away, all of the while mumbling under his breath.

Anna looked up at Yoh. He sighed and turned his gaze to the skies.

"I think it's enough," she snapped, her harsh tone in sharp contrast with the mess inside of her.

"What?" he asked, his tone flat and cold. She had never heard him address her that way before.

"Your temper tantrum," she replied. "I was wrong, _fine_. But—" She stopped when she heard his ironic laugh. "What?"

"Anna, you don't believe that," he said, shaking his head as though amused. "You don't believe you were wrong. You would do it again without a second's hesitation."

For a moment, she was silent. But more lies would get her nowhere. "Yes, I would," she admitted.

Yoh nodded. He had obviously been expecting that.

The bell rang and people began to filter back inside the building. He made no move to do the same. Instead, he stood in front of her, staring into the distance while she gazed up at him, trying to decipher his expression, willing him to look down into her eyes, hoping it would then be easier.

"I have the right to manage my secrets exactly the way I want," she reminded him, speaking slowly, calmly. "I thought we'd moved past that a long time ago."

Finally, his gaze returned to hers. "Yes, we have," he agreed. "You're right. And you do. What's more, you _always_ do. It's the only thing you know. And it sucks, because I once thought I'd taught you how to see the world in a different light. But I guess I didn't. So, there. The problem's with me."

Anna was stunned into silence. What was she supposed to say to that? Shaking her head, she took a step back. "Fine," she said, trying to hide the hurt from her voice. "Have it your way. When you recover, come to me. If you don't, stay where you are."

Turning around, she had every intention of never glancing back as she began to walk away. But she hadn't been fast enough not to catch a glimpse of him rolling his eyes and not to hear him answering his apparently ringing phone, dismissing her presence in an instant. He even began to move in the opposite direction.

Frustration so powerful bubbled inside her chest that it oppressed everything else—perhaps even her judgment. Changing her mind, she whirled back around and walked up to him. She was tired of running away—especially from Yoh.

Grasping his phone, she abruptly pulled it away from his ear, ending the call and raising her gaze to meet his as he turned to face her, shocked.

"You know, it must be easy for you to stand there and make accusations," she said. "You say I've hid things from you? You say I've lied to you? But what do _you_ do? You get a phone-call and you walk five feet away so that I don't _hear_ you! And you're still so sincere that you dare to look at me in the eye and blame me? Talk down to me like you're better?"

"It's different," he spat, snatching his phone back. "I have reasons—"

She scoffed. "And I don't, right? Nothing I do ever needs a reason, because I'm Anna, and I'm irrational by definition, right?"

Yoh's gaze molded into a glare. "I didn't say that!"

"Have you ever thought that perhaps my reason for not telling you about this was you? Us? Have you ever thought that maybe I didn't want this—this _thing_ to turn the only thing I've known as concrete in my life upside down? I didn't want it to be real! It's only normal that I wanted to keep it away from what matters most to me—and that's you!" She paused, taking in a shuddering breath. "You're supposed to _understand_ me! You're supposed to _accept_ me! You're supposed to support me in everything! That's what you promised me! And what do you do? You don't even make the effort! And you should, goddamn it! You should, because you of all the people should be able to understand what finding out about this means to me! You've _been_ there! You've _seen_ what them leaving me did to me! How do you expect me to just accept this?!"

"I'm not calling you out on not telling me about your family!" he snapped. "I'm calling you out on not telling me that you're in danger! You could have been _killed_ yesterday and I wouldn't have even known why!"

"Right!" she exclaimed. "Right, because you always tell me, right? You came home that night with blood all over your shirt and I never asked a single question, because I knew you needed me more!" As his eyes widened almost imperceptibly, she took a step back, before huffing ironically, "But I guess it was stupid of me to expect the same from you."

There was a silent battle unfolding inside of him when he saw her turning away from him. She heard his voice calling out her name and felt his fingers grazing her arm, but she yanked it away before they could fully wrap around it.

Yoh remained rooted to his spot, his eyes following her slim form as it stormed out of the courtyard. A part of him wanted to run after her, to grab her hand and pull her to his chest and say that he was sorry, because he hadn't thought of it that way. He hadn't thought that, perhaps, she needed him in a different way than what he believed was logical. Another part of him, however, told him she had proved just how little she cared about what he thought and felt when she chose to go about this her own way and by herself.

As his phone began to vibrate for the second time in his hand, he made his choice.

For the first time, it wasn't his fiancée.

–

–

–

Anna swung the door of her closet shut with her leg while at the same time pulling her tight blue jeans on. She had changed out of her school uniform, and was now sporting a simple black top to go with her pants. Her blonde hair had been twisted in a messy bun with the sole intention of it not falling into her eyes.

Taking a seat on the bed, she slipped on her shoes, before turning to the items she had carefully laid out beside her. She gathered everything, including her wallet and a clean set of clothes, and tucked them into a bag. Grabbing her phone from where it sat on the nightstand, she hesitated, turning it over in her hands; then she pressed the top button and shut it down. She didn't want to hear from anybody; she didn't want to hear it ring. Not today. Today, she wanted to be alone—alone with her thoughts and her feelings and her past and her present. And she didn't care what anybody had to say or think about that.

Slipping it in a side pocket of her bag, she grasped her scarf and looped it around her neck, before shrugging on her black coat. She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She found her keys, and never gave the matter another thought before she walked out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and out the front door.

A blast of cold air hit her as soon as she stepped out of the front yard, forcing her to button up her coat. A light snowfall was beginning its descent, what she supposed would be the last of the season.

Anna loved winter, yet she had barely enjoyed it at all that year.

The walk to the train station was long, but pleasant. For all the emotions that had been roaring inside of her at the beginning of the day, she was numb now. Her discussion with Yoh seemed to have locked them all away; it was as if her body had built its own defense mechanism that knew how to shut down her feelings when they threatened to overwhelm her. That being said, it was peaceful for her, after so much time spent in a state of agitation and insecurity, to be alone with her thoughts, with the snow around her and the stillness of the city without any of it being overbearing. Tranquility finally reigned inside her head. Not for a long time, she had no doubt about that, but she was glad for this moment of reprieve.

She was Kyoyama Anna, and now, people knew what that meant. Some wanted her dead and some would go to great lengths to protect her. And she was caught in the middle with little to no knowledge about it all.

It was out of her hands, though, and she borrowed a piece of her fiancé's philosophy and tried not to worry about something she couldn't control.

The train that would lead her to her destination was already there when she arrived. She bought her ticked and boarded, before finding herself a secluded seat by the window. She placed her bag on her lap and made herself as comfortable as possible for the long journey that lay ahead of her.

Soon enough, the machine started moving.

All she could do was tilt her head back and watch the darkened scenery moving past lifelessly—letting the droning sound of the train scare her thoughts away.

–

–

–

Aomori was exactly as the blonde remembered—quiet, peaceful, but packed with a spirituality that was hard to ignore.

She walked down the streets, nose buried in her scarf as snowflakes danced around her, arms occasionally hugging her body against the cold gusts of wind. Taking a seat on a bench, she buried her hands in her pockets. Being there made her feel ten different shades of nostalgic, sad, and lost.

Snuggling into the warmth her thick scarf provided, she watched as the town slowly prepared to fall asleep. The sky was already dark, so the lights were on in every store, street, or household, causing the snow to glitter and glow as it lightly fell from the sky and peppered on the ground. The rush of the day died down as the night slowly crept in. People were no longer running to complete their errands, but rather, they were walking at a languid pace, couples holding hands and mothers holding onto their children, heading home after a late stroll or outside in search for a light dinner or a warm drink.

A couple in particular caught her attention. A young woman was hovering close to what was obviously her husband's side, smiling up at him as they talked in soft voices and walked down the street at a slow pace. The man was carrying someone in his arms, a little girl, no older than four, bundled up in a thick, pink coat. She had her small arms around his neck and her head resting on his shoulder as he carried her home, holding her lovingly and protectively against his larger frame.

It was hard to believe she had also been held like that by someone once. She didn't _have_ to believe it, though, and perhaps that was the saddest part. For her, it was as if it had never happened, even if it did, since she had no recollection whatsoever of her past.

This was all she had ever been able to do—watch. Watch as people were happy. Watch as they were loved. Watch as they were accepted. Watch as they weren't forced to carry what seemed to be the weight of the world on their shoulders at the small age of six.

…Or was it?

Shaking her head ironically, she huffed. It _was_.

"_You know what?" _her own voice sounded in her head. _"I never wanted this to happen. And I'm not proud of the decisions I've made, but I've done my best."_

"_I'm sure you've realized by now that 'your best' isn't enough. There's only one thing you can do in order to pull yourself out of this misery you're buried in_—_accept who you are."_

Was it possible that she had ever been like that little girl? Clinging to her father's neck, placing all of her trust in him? She probably had. And if that was the case, she hated herself for it. He betrayed her. And she should have known better even as a small child.

Shaking her head, she seemed to realize how ridiculous she was being. A little girl—that was what she used to be; a spoiled one, even, if her assumptions were correct. A little girl to whom her father must have been her entire world. They usually were. They offered protection like no one else.

Her brows furrowed as a sudden, sharp burst of pain slammed in her head, making her visibly wince. She straightened her back and tried to take in a deep breath, but the pain persisted and her lungs seemed to lock up. Standing up, she remained still for a long moment, regaining her balance. She took another moment to accommodate, before she started down the familiar street at a brisk pace. She had wanted a night of peace and quiet, but it seemed that what she would get instead was a night where she would have to drug herself to sleep.

Anna had always had headaches, especially during the time when she was able to read people's thoughts, but even after that. They had only become worse once her past was revealed, to the point where they were almost unbearable, leaving her unable to focus on anything other than the pain in her head.

They were rare, though. The last one she had was when her brother had been hurt, back in early January. What had caused it this time?

Reaching her destination, she quickly located the key in the pocket of her bag and stuck it into the lock, opening the door.

The house was exactly as she remembered, and it brought along a fresh wave of memories and a feeling of slight nostalgia. She hadn't been happy there—far from it. But it had been a period of her life; this was where she had met Kino, this was where she had met and shared her first moments with Yoh. And despite everything… she wouldn't trade that for anything. She wouldn't trade _him_ for anything. Not Yoh. Not even for her happiness or her protection or the family she had probably been so attached to.

Stopping to lock the door behind her, she took her coat and shoes off and laid them neatly aside. Wandering inside, she made her way down the long hallway to her old bedroom. Everything was surprisingly clean, so she assumed Kino had recently been there.

Dropping her bag on a chair, she let her hair loose and then pulled out a bottle of pills she had taken with her as a precautionary measure. It occurred to her that she was glad she always had the sense to be well-prepared as she stood in the kitchen, helping herself to a glass of water and two painkillers.

Back in her bedroom, she pulled a pillow and a thin blanket out of the closet, laying them on the bed. She shimmied out of her jeans and shirt and then slipped under the cover. The sheets were cold against her skin, but she didn't mind.

She was out before her head even hit the pillow.

–

–

–

_There was a muted rustling sound as the warm blanket was tugged away from her small form, before a pair of strong arms slipped beneath her and easily lifted her up. She made a small sound of discontentment in the back of her throat, but didn't hesitate to wrap her little arms around what she knew to be her father's neck, nestling closer to his warmth. The man lovingly smoothed a hand over her curly tresses, before beginning to walk. She didn't open her eyes, allowing him to take her whenever he was heading. _

_Soon enough, they seemed to have reached their destination, as they stopped, and a familiar voice filtered through her senses. _

"_Is she asleep?" her mother asked, placing a soothing hand over her back. _

"_Yes," he answered in a whisper close to her ear. _

"_Why?" The loud voice of her brother irritated her and she furrowed her brows in annoyance. _

"_Because she's tired, sweetie," the calm, low timbre of her mother answered him. _

_But he persisted. "Why?" he asked once more._

"_We're not sure," her father answered. "It may be because she didn't eat every single ounce of sugar left in the house behind our backs, so she doesn't have as much energy as someone who obviously did."_

_The young boy snickered at his reaction, and she could hear a smile in her mother's voice as she hurried him to put his coat on. A moment passed, and something warm and soft was pressed again her back, which her father took care of spreading up to her shoulders. More voices joined them, but they blended in the background and fell on deaf ears as she was slowly lulled back into unconsciousness._

_By the time the cold winter air hit her small figure as they stepped outside, she was fast asleep. _

–

–

–

Anna sucked in a deep breath as she abruptly sat up in bed, blonde hair tumbling forward with the movement.

The bedroom was dark and the house was cold. The sheets twisted around her legs in a vise grip, and her agitated breathing sounded overly loud in the silent room.

Almost immediately, she hunched over on her side, gasping and trying to catch her breath as her head started to throb more painfully than she had ever experienced, ripping a cry of pain from her throat.

"Fuck!" she cried.

Hastily wrestling the sheet away from her body, she stumbled out of bed and then out of the room. Her head was pounding so hard she could barely see in front of her. She couldn't think, she couldn't speak, she couldn't even _breathe_. All she could do was robotically stumble her way across the hallways and into the kitchen, where she knew she had left her painkillers. Refilling the glass with water with shaking hands, she fumbled with the bottle until she opened it, spilling a couple of pills into her palm. She never hesitated in bringing them up to her mouth and gulping them down with water, grimacing slightly at the bitter taste.

Pressing one hand over her forehead, she walked out of the room, returning to her bedroom. She climbed under the now cold covers and curled up in a ball, still clutching her head. Tears slipped from her eyes, unnoticed, and she whimpered.

The image of a little girl with curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes flashed into her mind.

"I don't want to remember," she whispered to herself. "I don't…"

Unconsciousness claimed her after a mere minute.

It would have been the most blissful feeling had she been able to sense it.

–

–

–

It was snowing heavily by the time Yoh pulled up in front of the old, familiar house. Thick, fat snowflakes fell from the sky at an almost alarming rate that had him seeing barely anything in front of him. Throwing the car into park and slipping the key out of the ignition, he grabbed his coat and hurried out of the vehicle, slamming the door shut behind him. He didn't bother putting it on as he entered the yard and jogged to the front door, quickly unlocking it and slipping inside.

A sigh of relief escaped his lips when he noticed the shoes lying tidily at the entrance and the familiar black coat hanging above them. Doing the same with his two articles of clothing, he ran a hand through his hair and started to make his way down the hallway, the urgency in his movements gone now that he knew where his fiancée was—and that she was safe.

It was cold in the house and he briefly wondered how she hadn't had the common sense to turn on the heat as soon as she arrived. She wasn't the type of person who would stand discomfort of any kind if she didn't have to, and he furrowed his brows as he walked into the dark kitchen, from where he knew he could turn on the central heating. Flicking the light on, he made his way to his destination. It wasn't hard to figure out how the thermostat worked.

It was only after he had finished that he turned around and noticed the small, upturned bottle of pills on the counter and the empty glass of water beside it. His frown deepened as he walked towards the two items to pick the first up. It was Tylenol. Did her head hurt again? Worried, he left the bottle on the counter and stalked out of the kitchen, quickly making his way down the hallway. His intuition didn't fail him.

He opened the door to her old bedroom, and it was clear someone was there from the moment his eyes fell on her bag, slouched on a chair directly in his line of sight. Then he fully entered the room and saw her—lying on the bed, on her stomach, blonde hair spread all over her back and pillow, barely dressed in a set of lacy, black underwear. There was only a sheet covering her, from waist down, leaving her delicate skin exposed to the biting cold of the house. Yoh was dressed in a shirt with a sweater on top and his hands were freezing and there she was, nearly naked.

"My God, what are you _thinking_?" he groaned, storming out of the room to grab a blanket from where he knew his grandmother stocked them, in a closet in the hallway. He remembered well enough. Coming back inside, he tugged the sheet over her back and laid the blanket on top, before gently taking a seat on the bed, behind her. "How did it occur to you to come here, all by yourself, without telling anybody, after what you'd just been through?" he murmured, still displeased, as he leaned over her small frame to gently brush her hair away from her face.

His knuckles grazed her cheek and he sighed as he registered how cold it was. Gently running his hand over the length of her arm, he lowered his body so that he was leaning on his elbow. Resting his cheek against hers, he covered her small hand with his large one, intertwining their fingers.

"What are you doing with your life?" he whispered softly against her cheek, before pressing a light kiss there. "Anna, come on," he murmured, moving his hand back up to rub her arm. "Wake up. You need to drink something warm."

She didn't stir.

"Anna," he tried again, brushing her hair away from her neck. Anna was sensitive there, to the point where even the smallest touch could make her squirm; but not this time.

Frowning, Yoh sat up and gently rolled her onto her back, his hand finding her cold cheek immediately. She didn't seem peacefully asleep, he then realized. She seemed _unconscious_.

Panic gripping his heart, he called out her name, forcefully shaking her awake.

Everything in him seemed to give as she slowly opened her eyes a fraction, a small sound of complaint escaping her lips. Heaving out a relieved sigh, he dropped his head to the crook of her neck, taking in the familiar scent and the faint warmth her skin gave away.

Anna looked up at the ceiling blearily, her mind struggling to understand what was going on. The information was there, but it was hard for her to access it. Every action ensued another throb from her head.

"What are you doing here?" she breathed.

"Thank God," Yoh whispered against her skin, before straightening. In one swift movement, he grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it over his head. She barely had time to sit up before he was pulling it over hers and helping her with her arms into the sleeves. Anna closed her eyes as his warmth enveloped her whole and Yoh pulled her into his embrace, accommodating her in his chest as he slowly began to rub his hand up and down her back in soothing motions.

Her head buried in the crook of his neck, his familiar scent relaxed all of her muscles. But her head still throbbed and Anna just wanted to be left alone.

"What do you want?" she asked, her voice weak. She was dizzy. The world was spinning around her. "Go away, Yoh. I don't want to talk to you right now."

One of her hands pushed against his chest in a way was barely there, but Yoh respected her wish and separated himself from her. She pulled away and shifted backwards so that she was leaning against the headboard. His school sweater was large on her small frame, swallowing her whole, and as she brought her hands up to push the hair away from her face, he noticed the way she was struggling to keep focus.

"I'll bring you a glass of water," he declared.

Her mouth was dry; she couldn't refuse his offer, but she said nothing to encourage it.

Yoh came back after a minute and handed her a tall glass, which she gratefully accepted. The few sips it took to chase the uncomfortable feeling in her throat away made her queasy, so she placed it on the nightstand, beside her.

The room was silent until a sudden burst of pain distracted her and forced her to take a sharp intake of breath. Squeezing her eyes shut, she curled her legs to her chest and fisted her hands in her hair.

Yoh reached out and gently grasped one of them, coaxing it to open up and let go of the blonde strands.

"Tell me what's wrong." His tone was demanding, but still soft and soothing.

Anna tried to breathe in deeply before she answered him. "My head hurts."

"Anna, I imagined that," he started, his voice calm. "But you can't take half a bottle of painkillers and knock yourself out just for that reason."

"You don't _understand_," she breathed, clutching her head as she unconsciously leaned forward. "It _hurts_." Then, in a whisper, she added, "I don't want to remember."

Yoh's breath caught in his throat. For a moment, all he could do was watch her. Then he slowly shifted closer to her.

"Anna…" he murmured her name, coaxing her to look up at him. He didn't succeed. "Are you starting to remember?" It was a mere whisper, yet it hung heavily in the air between them.

The blonde answered with a nod.

He wanted to smile, but something in him stopped him. "Sweetheart…" he tried, brushing his fingers against her forearm in a movement meant to be soothing. "That's a good thing."

Anna shrugged, closed her eyes, and sighed deeply. "I don't care, Yoh. It doesn't change anything."

"Of course it does!" he argued. "You can remember now. You can remember your past life."

"That's great," she huffed sardonically. "As if it would ever come back."

Yoh frowned, surprised by her response. "You have so much resentment in you," he whispered his realization. How had she managed to hide it so well all this time? How had he never been able to tell?

Anna smiled bitterly, eyes still closed. "It's the thing I've held onto for my entire life. Resentment. For the world… for everybody in it." Sniffling silently, she straightened, but didn't look at him, choosing instead to gaze forward, at the window. "I was so angry when I woke up that day in Kino's house," she whispered. "So confused, so heartbroken… To think how incredibly naïve I actually was… I didn't know an _inch_ of the truth. I didn't know an _inch_ of the magnitude of this."

"Anna…" He shook his head. "You don't have to be angry at life for this."

"How do you know what I have to feel?" she snapped, turning to fix him with a glare and raising her voice despite the pain it caused her. "How do you know how I have to act? That's all everybody's ever done! Tell me how I should act, what I should feel. But none of you know an inkling of the effort I put in rebuilding my life every time it tumbles down. If _you_ were in my place…" She huffed and shook her head, letting the matter drop.

"Anna, I'm not telling you how you should feel," Yoh denied. "I'm… You _need_ to let go of this. You need to let go of this resentment."

"Why? Why make an effort? I _am_ resentful. How do you _change_ that? How do you _stop_ that? And if I get rid of it as easily as you make it sound—what _changes_? What _for_? So I can let me guard down and be happy and then find out something else?"

"Anna, you need to let go of it," he repeated, more forcefully. "Talk to me. I can make it alright. I can help you."

"No, I don't need your help," she spat. "I don't want your help because I don't want to solve this. It'll pass. It'll get better. I know that from experience. It'll numb. Eventually, it won't hurt anymore."

"Anna—"

"I don't want to talk about it!" she shouted. Frantic, she threw the covers off her and slid out of bed, walking out of the room.

Yoh groaned and stood to follow her. "You need to talk about it!" he insisted. In two large strides he had already reached her side. "Whether you like it or not, you can't run away form this! You have your proof! The truth cannot be hidden forever, Anna!"

"I don't _care_ about the truth!" she screamed. "I don't care about it because it's not my reality!" Whipping around, she looked up at him, blue eyes filled with tears and begging him to understand, to see the world through them. Her voice dropped to a pained whisper as she continued, "My reality is you." Taking a step forward, she closed the distance between them, reaching up to rest her hands on the base of his neck. "You want to help? Make me forget."

"No," Yoh said, shaking his head and cupping her face within his hands. His warm, brown eyes gazed deep into hers as he spoke reassuringly. "What you need to do is remember."

Her broken expression spoke of betrayal as his words reached her ears. Before he had a chance to clarify his intentions, though, she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his in a characteristic display of stubbornness. Yoh didn't deny her. As predicted, she was the one to pull away. Their lips hovered over each other for a long, tense moment. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and splashed on his hand, still resting on her cheek. Immediately, she jerked out of his arms and tried to flee, but he grasped her forearm and kept her in place. Her blonde hair whipped around her face as she turned to look at him once more.

"Stop running away," he demanded.

"Let me go, Yoh," she said. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, and as much as she willed them away, they seemed to have every intention of staying.

"Anna—"

"Shut up!" she screamed, trying to unsuccessfully break his grip on her arm. "Just shut up and let me leave!"

Yoh grasper her other arm and jerked her even closer. "Why are you always running away from me?" he demanded, in a tone that would have surprised her had she not been so distressed.

"Because I don't know how to deal with this!" she screamed. "Look at me! I don't know how to deal with this and it's driving me crazy! I can't ignore it anymore! I can't—I don't—" Abruptly pausing, she took in a deep breath. "Just—Just leave me alone. I don't want you to see me like this."

"See you like what?" he pressed, his eyes glinting with frustration. "See you cry? See you vulnerable?"

Anna looked down. "I'm not a weak person," she justified in a whisper, and Yoh's heart almost broke right then and there.

His eyes softened. "I know you're not weak, Anna," he soothed, his grip on her arms slackening. "You're the strongest woman I've ever met. But this… this is something that would have broken anybody."

For a moment, she was still. Then, as she seemed to regain her senses, she shook her head and pulled away. "That doesn't change anything," she spat, moving to turn around.

But Yoh caught her again. He rounded her small waist with his arms and forced her to his chest, ignoring her resistance and instead only hugging her tighter. Her slim body was tense against him, every one of her muscles coiled, but he buried his face in her blonde mane and ran a hand over her back regardless. When the first involuntary sob escaped her lips, he closed his eyes and kissed her temple. She sagged against him, her hands fisting tightly into his shirt while her face buried itself into his chest.

"Look, Anna… I know you don't like this," he whispered gently into her ear. "I know you don't. But it's alright to be scared. It's normal. I understand. And it's only me."

"I didn't ask for this," she whimpered softly. She made little noise, but her body was trembling in his embrace and he could feel the dampness of her tears soaking through the thin material of his top. "I didn't ask for it and I don't want it. I don't want _them_. I don't need them. I don't want to deal with this mess because of them."

"Shh, sweetheart, I know. I know," he soothed, his arms tightening around her.

"I don't _want_ this," she repeated, more insistently.

"I know," he whispered once more, before bending down to slip an arm underneath her knees and gently pick her up. She clung to his neck as he led her back to the bedroom, kneeling down on the bed with her still cradled in his arms. Her tears were hot against his skin, but she made no move to remove her arms from around his neck. Just for this once, she wanted to be weak. She wanted to feel loved, and safe, and protected—and he was the only one who could give her that.

Settling down, Yoh kissed her forehead and moved to reach for the blankets tangled at the foot of the bed, but her hand fisted his shirt and stopped him.

"Please don't leave," she choked in the crook of his neck. "I don't want to be alone."

"No, Anna," he hushed her. "I'm not leaving. I'll never leave you." Placing a small kiss on the top of her head, he shifted and grasped the blankets, pulling them over her, making sure she was warm before tucking her into his chest. "I'll always be by your side. We'll make it through this. I'll make it alright. Everything will be alright, I swear."

Another sob escaped her lips as she pushed herself closer to him. At that point, she would have pulled him right through her skin if she could.

Yoh simply clutched her tighter in response. He would whisk her away and never bring her back if that was what it would take, but there was no escaping his destiny.

And Anna definitely wasn't escaping hers anymore.

–

–

–

_**A/N:**__ So, I'm working on editing the first chapters. I know probably no one will go back to read them, but it's irking me, and when it's irking me… well, I have to get it done. Haha!_

_As usual, sorry about the long wait! Life keeps getting in the way, but I am really thankful for all your support—and your patience, of course. _

_There are a couple of things I want to know, so I figured I'd ask:_

_1. What did you like most about this chapter?  
2. What did you not like about it? Did it have to do with the way I portrayed a scene or with the scene itself?  
3. What do you think about Anna's reactions to everything that's been happening around her?  
4. I know I've taken a lot of liberties here, like the way I chose to use guns over spirits, for example. Do you feel like they take away from the story?  
5. Last but not least, am I the only one who loves it when Yoh takes care of Anna? I even went ahead and wrote for the next chapter just because the scenes felt so right and I was so eager to write them! _

_Please review and let me know! :) _


	13. The Future

–

**Time goes by and it feels like I'm going out of my mind.**

**What we had, bring it back now**

**Cause I'm feeling empty inside.**

—"_The Sound of Missing You" by Ameerah_

–

Yoh barely closed an eye that night.

Anna was restless. She would toss and she would turn. Her brows would furrow with whatever it was that was troubling her, whatever demons they were that were haunting her, and he would take care of smoothing her frown away. The blankets would twist around her small body and he would make sure they covered her completely. Not to mention the times when her eyes would open and shine with so much pain, with such a lost, glazed-over look in them that his heart would clench in his chest so hard he was almost certain it hurt him more than her head hurt her.

He made sure to have a physical connection with her throughout the entire night. His arms would always be around her. He would gently stroke her back and comb his fingers through her hair. She was in discomfort, that much was clear to him, and if he had to stay awake in order to initiate the smallest actions that could possibly make her feel the slightest bit better, he would do it without hesitation.

She seemed to fall into a deep sleep in the wee hours of morning, when the sky was beginning to lighten and the shadows of the night didn't seem so threatening anymore. Her breathing evened out against the skin of his neck and her grip on his shirt slackened. Yoh buried his face into her blonde hair, hugged her securely against him, and closed his eyes, slipping into a restless state of unconsciousness of his own for a couple of hours.

When he woke up, she hadn't moved an inch. Glancing at his watch with narrowed eyes, he heaved a sigh. It was well into the morning, and if the churning of his stomach was any indication, he was hungry. Anna would be, too, he concluded as he gazed down at the woman in his arms, and made the decision of leaving in town to bring them both something to eat. He had no doubt that the kitchen was empty, but still, he made sure to check.

Before leaving the house, he tucked another blanket over his fiancée's sleeping figure, wanting to make sure she wouldn't miss his warmth while he was gone. It was almost ridiculous how thankful he was that she seemed to be finally getting some much-deserved rest.

That was the main reason why he decided not to wake her up when he returned with a bag of groceries. She was sleeping peacefully for the first time in God knew how long, so he figured he would allow her to do exactly that.

He made himself a sandwich and ate it with a speed that would rival Horo-Horo's, before slipping under the covers with her once more. He hugged her from behind, careful not to disturb her sleep, and adjusted his frame so that his arm was around her waist and her head was tucked beneath his chin. He pressed his lips to her fragrant hair and simply lay there, thinking.

He would give anything to have a solution to her problem. He would give anything to be able to help her more than by offering his support. Unfortunately, that was the only thing he could see himself doing in the near future. This was a problem only she could solve, and while Yoh had complete trust in Anna and in her strength, seeing her like this was killing him.

Shifting, he moved his hand in search for hers, smiling when he found it tucked into her chest, in the warmth of the crook of her neck. He grasped it softly and interlaced their fingers, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

The next time he woke up, it was afternoon. The room was darkening again, but Anna was still asleep by his side. Gently detangling his body from hers, he decided it was time for her to eat something. He couldn't say he didn't understand her, because he did. He could relate to how she was feeling. He hadn't wanted to do much the day after Silva's funeral, and he hadn't had a raging headache to take care of on top of that. But he was also worried, because no one could possibly go that long without eating anything; as unconscious as she was, what she was doing wasn't healthy or normal.

So, after finishing the light soup he knew she loved so much, he returned to the bedroom and bent over her still sleeping figure, brushing a hand over her head, gently stroking the hair away from her face.

"Anna," he whispered her name and pressed a kiss to her temple, slowly coaxing her into awareness.

The blonde opened her eyes and blinked blearily for a couple of moments, coming to terms with what was happening, before shifting and burying her face back into the pillow.

"Anna, wake up," he murmured softly. "I made you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry," she grumbled.

He had expected to hear that. "You haven't eaten anything in God knows how long, Anna. You _have_ to eat something," he replied firmly, making her groan.

"I don't _care_," she spat, curling into a ball under the covers. "My head hurts. Leave me alone."

Yoh's eyes softened as the first pang of regret at having woken her up bolted through him. He briefly wondered how exactly he was supposed to choose what was best for her in such situations.

"It still hurts?" he whispered softly, gently.

Anna nodded.

Yoh swallowed, his eyes unsure as they watched her. "You still have to eat," he told her in a quiet voice.

The blonde opened her eyes and looked at him as though she wanted to glare, but was unable to muster the technique due to her pain. "Do you _really_ think I can focus on anything else than this _stupid_ headache long enough to take a single bite?" she breathed.

His hand moved over her blonde locks, gently caressing. "I'll give you something, alright?" he said, watching her tenderly with warm eyes that inspired trust. "You eat something and I'll make sure your head doesn't hurt anymore. But I can't give you a pill on an empty stomach."

There was a strange feeling in his chest that didn't quite let him breathe properly when she agreed right away, without asking questions or putting conditions. She pushed herself in a sitting position and he offered his hand to help her, help which she eagerly accepted. Grasping her waist, he pulled her up, gently holding her until she regained her balance. The way she rested her forehead on his shoulder for a moment spoke of exactly how bad she was feeling. He didn't want to imagine what would have happened if he hadn't figured out where she had gone as quickly as he had.

True to her word, she didn't eat much. Yoh could tell she wasn't being herself, so he let it slide and was thankful for the little she had managed to swallow. As promised, he made a trip to his car, from where he retrieved a bottle of pills he had prayed was still there. Apparently, someone had heard and answered him.

Returning to the house, he shook a pill out and broke it in half before presenting it to his fiancée along with a glass of water.

She frowned as she looked up at him. "I'm _dying_ here and you're giving me half a painkiller?" she demanded, her soft voice at odds with the strength of her words.

Yoh almost wanted to smile. "It'll be enough for you, you'll see. Please take it."

Again, she didn't hesitate. She took it and drowned it, before handing the glass back to him. Yoh placed it on the table in front of her and then stood to help her up. She managed to take a single step forward before she was swaying on her feet. He caught her, gently holding her hips to stabilize her.

"See?" he said, smiling as he bent down to grasp her underneath her knees and lift her up in his arms. "I told you so. It might have even been a bit too much."

"What did you give me?" she whispered tiredly into his neck as he carried her to the bedroom.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, kissing her blonde locks.

"I love you for it," she was quick to clarify, and he smiled as he lowered her down on the mattress.

Her eyes were already closing by the time he pressed his lips to her forehead and lulled her to sleep with a whisper.

"Everything will be alright."

–

–

–

With the help of the painkiller she had been given, Anna slept for the rest of the day and well into the night, waking up early in the morning, when the sky was still dark and the street lamps still bathed the streets in a warm glow.

Yoh was sleeping on his side, next to her, the weight of his strong arm warm and protective as it lay around her middle. His short, brown hair was tousled and in sharp contrast with the white pillow, his face peaceful and body relaxed in his state of unconsciousness.

Releasing a silent sigh, Anna rolled over on her side so that she could face him. She smiled as he, bothered by her movements, shifted, his head moving on the pillow, towards her shoulder, and his arm tightening minutely around her small waist, bringing her closer to his strong body.

"What would I do without you?" she whispered to herself as she brought a hand up to gently trace the contour of his jaw. The answer to that question was unknown, and one she hoped she would never receive.

Pressing a tender kiss to his warm cheek, she slipped out of his protective embrace, careful not to disturb him any more than she already had. Once she was on her feet, the brunet shifted again, rolling over on his stomach and throwing his arm out on her side of the bed.

Silently gathering her necessities from her bag, she made her way out of the room and down the hallway, heading for the bathroom. Once there, she stripped out of her clothes—which still consisted of nothing more than her underwear and Yoh's too large sweater—and caught her hair in a bun, before stepping into the shower cabin and letting hot water cascade down her body. The action was more for comfort than for cleaning up, and when she stepped out, she felt refreshed and strangely more powerful.

Wrapping a towel around her body, she padded her way back to the bedroom, where she changed into the spare set of clothing she had packed. Then she took a stand in front of the window to run a brush through her blonde locks. Outside, the snow had piled up so high she suspected it would reach her knees in certain places. Her hair was a mess from all her tossing and turning, so she gave up on the idea of styling it and instead moved it to one side so that she could weave it neatly in a braid.

Yoh stirred just as she was tying a thin elastic around its end. He rolled over on his back and stretched; another moment passed before his eyes blinked open, searching the room until they came to rest on her figure. Then he smiled.

"Hey," he greeted, his voice roughened by sleep.

Her own lips twitched upwards in response.

"Come here," he said, patting the space beside him, and she complied, crossing the room to take a seat on the bed, in the indicated spot. As he watched her with a gentle look in his still sleepy eyes, he reached up to tuck a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," she answered, somewhat evasively.

"Does you head still hurt?" he pressed.

"A bit," she admitted.

Yoh frowned. "I don't understand. Has it ever happened before?"

"No. I guess it's because…" She paused and shrugged. "…of everything."

He nodded, accepting her explanation. It was disturbing to know that even the pill he had given her had not managed to completely rid her of her headache, but the knowledge—and even supposition—that it had never happened before and would most likely never happen again was enough to calm him.

"I'm glad you stayed with me," she whispered, fidgeting with a button on his white shirt.

It was hard for her to speak her feelings out loud, especially when it came to feelings such as love or gratitude. They represented a level of commitment she was afraid to make, because she was afraid to lose. She already had it with Yoh, but saying it, admitting it out loud was a different story entirely. There was something in her that stopped her, that caused a lump to form in her throat that hindered her words from coming out. And it bothered her, because, sometimes, the need to say them was unbearable.

But Yoh grinned, and, as always, seemed to understand. "Did you think, even for a moment, that I would leave?" he asked, gently but steadily holding her gaze.

Try as she might, the blonde was unable to hide her smile. "No."

How could she? Yoh had always been there for her in her hardest times. He had been there to hold her hand even when she shook it away and claimed she didn't need it. He had been there, silently supporting her with everything he had, even when he didn't understand what was happening. He had been there—a constant in her life when all the others had already dissipated.

And that was only half of the reason why she loved him as much as she did.

Swallowing, she averted her gaze. "I'm going to take a walk…"

"Wait for me," he immediately said, sitting up. "Let me run to the bathroom and change and I'll come with you."

_Always there._

Anna nodded. "Alright."

–

–

–

She leaned into him while they walked, breaking down walls and disregarding façades, and he supported her with an arm over her shoulders, smoothing down her blonde hair every once in a while and dropping gentle kisses on her forehead. Aomori wasn't the best environment for her to heal, Yoh knew. It simply held too many memories that were difficult to face, and he would have loved to be able to take her hand and lead her away, but they had to work with what they were given.

"So…" she started after they had been walking for a couple of minutes. "About that pill…"

He rolled his eyes, but smiled, regardless. He knew about his fiancée's affinity for painkillers, and he supposed he could understand it, but he wouldn't go as far as supporting it.

Soon enough, she reached her own conclusions. "I'm never seeing it again, am I?"

Yoh laughed. "Nope," he popped out.

"What was it?" she insisted.

He sighed. "It was something… something we used to take back in the Tournament when we needed it."

The answer seemed to satisfy her enough to let the subject drop, and the rest of the way was spent in comfortable silence. The town was still when they reached it; only a handful of people roamed its streets, some walking briskly in the cold air with a purpose firmly set in mind, others preparing to open up their little shops or businesses. It had stopped snowing overnight, but the nature was bathed in a thick mist. The sky was still colored a dark grey when the two of them took a seat on a snow-covered bench.

"Do you think you can handle something warm to drink?" Yoh asked, watching her with soft, brown eyes.

Anna took a moment to consider his question before she nodded. She felt anything but hungry or thirsty, but it was cold, and the thought of a cup of hot chocolate sounded awfully appealing.

His eyes shined at her response, and she resisted the urge to smile. "What are you so happy about, idiot?" she grouched. "Stop being ridiculous."

Yoh grinned and kissed her forehead. "I'll be right back," he announced, before standing up and heading down the street in a light jog.

Anna heaved a sigh as she watched him leave her sight, passing a hand over her forehead. The intensity of her headache was nowhere near where it had been during the night, when she felt as if tiny bombs were, one by one, exploding inside her head; she had been ready to cry from the pain on more than one occasion, and she was under the impression that she had even given in once or twice. Her memory was hazy. All she knew was that Yoh had been there the entire time, holding her securely in his warm embrace, never saying a word and instead leaving his actions to speak for themselves; as always, he knew exactly what she needed. But even though the pain was now bearable, it was still bothersome and uncomfortable.

Yoh returned after a couple of minutes with two paper cups in his hands, one of which he handed to Anna. She whispered her thank you while bringing it up to her mouth to take a sip of the warm liquid. It burned down her throat as she swallowed it and pooled in her stomach, already starting to emanate heat throughout her body; she almost sighed in pleasure and relaxation.

She glanced over at Yoh. He had sat down beside her and was now smiling against the rim of his cup as he watched two cats hiss at each other on top of a snow boulder. One of them puffed up its pitch black fur and the other seemed to find it threatening enough, because it dashed away, with its enemy right on its tail. It was then that the brunet noticed her staring. He turned his head and smiled down at her, before leaning in to press another gentle kiss to her forehead. Anna closed her eyes. Aomori brought back unpleasant memory after unpleasant memory, but being there, with him by her side, feeling the love and protection he offered her so selflessly… she couldn't help but think that, in spite of all the odds, she had done something good in her life; she had achieved something so important even when her future had seemed so bleak. Because she had Yoh—what else mattered?

"Matamune…" she whispered, opening her eyes and looking up at him. "Have you ever thought about…?"

"I did," he answered, and the meaning was clear.

A furrow between her brows, she reached out to touch his neck. The necklace was gone. How out of it had she been, exactly? How could she have not noticed? Shaking her head, she returned her gaze to him.

"Where is he?" she asked.

Yoh grinned. "I have no idea. He said he wanted to wander around…" He shrugged. "He also said he would be back to see you sometime. Before we get married."

The blonde snorted. "Like I miss him," she muttered softly under her breath.

He laughed.

A moment of silence followed, both of them losing themselves in their thoughts. Reaching out, Yoh moved a lock of hair over her shoulder, effectively capturing her attention as she turned her head to look at him once more.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice soft and gentle.

Anna sighed. "I don't know."

He hesitated. "You don't know… _how_ to tell me? Or you just don't _want_ to tell me?"

She resisted the urge to smile and instead shook her head. "I just don't _know_," she clarified, before averting her eyes to the ground.

Yoh grasped the situation in a mere moment. She had found a way to deal with the situation—however wrong it may have been, according to him—and now it had become ineffective; she had been trying to protect herself against her past for so long and now she had to face it head-on. _Of course_ she felt lost and disconcerted. _Of course_ she was hurting. There was no easy manner in which she could embrace the truth; there was no road that would take her to peace without pain.

But she had finally realized that, and he couldn't be prouder of her for that.

"Do you want to go to Izumo?" he asked.

The blonde glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, before sipping from her hot chocolate.

"Go," he encouraged upon noticing her insecurity. "Take my car and go."

Tears welled up in her eyes; from his spot beside her, he saw them clearly.

"I'm scared, Yoh," she confessed as she stood up and took a couple of steps away. There was a lump in her throat that choked her voice and distorted her words, and that, at the same time, made Yoh's heart clench painfully in his chest. He had seen her cry the night before, but this was different. She wasn't breaking down. She was pouring her heart out to him, and she was completely aware of it. She _wanted_ it, even.

Standing up, he followed her as she began to make her way down the road that would lead them back to the house.

"I'm scared of pushing this too far," she continued once he was beside her, and he gazed down at her, listening attentively, "I know it's the right thing to do… I've been told by so many persons that I'm beginning to believe it, too, but… what I know for _sure_ is that I don't know how to deal with this. I feel lost and insecure and helpless; I feel exactly how I used to feel all those years back. I'd come running at you for help, but not even you can give me that now. And—" Stopping, she turned to face him. "And where does that leave me?"

Taking her cup from her hands, Yoh turned and placed them both on another bench in front of which they had unconsciously stopped.

"It leaves you exactly where you're supposed to be," he told her as he faced her once again. Taking a step forward, he closed the distance between them and cupped her face into his hands, keeping her gaze locked with his. "You can do this. _Of course_ you can do this, Anna. You're strong—stronger than you give yourself credit for." Gently caressing her cheek with his thumb, he leaned in and placed a small kiss on the tip of her nose. "You've always trusted me. You've always believed in me no matter what I did or what happened in the world. You know this all too well." Anna nodded in response. "Well, that's the kind of trust I have in you, Anna. You will make it. There is no doubt in my mind that you will."

"I'm scared of what else I will discover," she said. "I only know part of the truth, even now, and I… I can't even handle it."

"Anna…"

"I'm tired of _fighting_! I'm tired of always struggling! I want to be happy with you. I've been waiting for you to come back to me, thinking that I'd finally have a shot at happiness, and… and look what happens! Yoh, this is too much. This is too cruel."

"No, don't say that," he chided softly. "This is your destiny. This is the life that has been chosen for you. Don't think of it as cruel. I know it's hard, but look on the bright side! Remember your parents, your brother—your loving family. Think that you have the chance to win them back."

As soon as the words left his mouth, she pulled away, vehemently shaking her head. "That's _never_ going to happen. _Ever_." Wiping her tears away, her vulnerable demeanor seemed to dissipate in an instant.

Yoh pressed his lips together. "Fine," he said, dismissing the subject. "Let's not talk about that now. But look, there's one way you can deal with this."

She looked up at him curiously. "What way?"

"The way you deal with everything else!" he exclaimed simply, grinning brightly. Anna wanted to groan, but he continued, "Maybe that's your mistake, Anna. Stop trying to separate this from your life. It _is_ your life. They are your family, that was your childhood, and _that_ was what brought you to _me_. Take one matter at a time, as they come. Make connections, draw conclusions—you have all the time in the world. But most of all, _accept_ this. _Live_ this. Stop running away. And if you ever need help, I'm here, sweetheart. I'll always be here."

She nodded, sniffling as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I know," she whispered. "I know that's what I have to do. But it's much easier said than done, and this… it's already tearing me apart."

Yoh smiled gently. "Hey, I'm here," he reminded her softly, catching her gaze. "Remember? You said I was what mattered most, the one thing in your life that will never change, never disappear. You got that right. Any time this becomes too much, you can always find refuge in my arms. We'll gather our bearings and move forward again. That's how it's always been, hasn't it?"

Anna gave another timid nod.

Smiling widely, the brunet tugged her into his arms. "Come here," he coaxed, brushing a hand over her head, tucking it beneath his chin. "Everything I said is true. But you know what? I'm sure you'll never need to do that. You're strong, much stronger than I've ever been. You're going to face this and you're going to do great. You're amazing."

Tears slipped from her eyes, unbidden, as she clung to him, standing on her tip toes to bury her face into the crook of his neck.

"I _love_ you," she choked out. "I love you, Yoh. You're _everything_. You're everything that matters to me. I can't do this without you. I _can't_."

"You won't have to," he promised, kissing her temple.

"Come with me?" she asked in a small voice.

A smile slowly spread on his features as he gently pulled her away so that he could see her face. "You want me to come with you to Izumo?" he asked, watching her tenderly. Their faces were only far enough for their eyes not to cross when they gazed at each other.

Anna nodded, sending him an almost pleading look from under her long lashes.

Silly woman. When was she going to learn that he would go to the end of the world for her?

–

–

–

They arrived in Izumo at noon the following day, after spending a night in Kyoto. It would have been too tiring for Yoh to drive all the way across the country, and Anna had jumped at the opportunity to escape reality for another couple of hours.

They checked in at a hotel, skipped dinner, and spent the entire night wrapped up in each other's arms.

Yoh fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, and the blonde followed soon after. All the talking she had done in the past twelve hours had rendered her exhausted—blissfully so. She could confide in Yoh and she had never had a single doubt about that. He had taken care of teaching her how to open up to him with a patience and perseverance that was almost unbelievable. He had asked questions until she gave him the right answers and had followed her when she slammed the door to her room enough times for her to understand that she could—and _should_—be the one to come to him. She would always be immensely grateful to him for that. Who knew where she would be now had it not been for him and his unwavering presence?

She would have run into his arms with this problem, as well. She would have, because she loved him with every fiber of her being, and she would have because she had felt so lost she thought she would never find herself again. But she hadn't—exactly _because_ she loved him. She hadn't wanted her past to taint him or their relationship; she had brought enough negative energy into it.

But she supposed she could see now that it had been inevitable that he would eventually find out—and, in a way, she was grateful that he had, because now she had him to rely on… and, suddenly, a light had been turned on in her darkness; she could see again.

Keiko had her in her arms the moment she opened the door to see her standing behind it, hugging her tightly, as if for fear that she would disappear if her grip slackened even slightly.

Anna blinked, surprised and confused, but most of all uncomfortable. Her relationship with Keiko had never been as close as maybe it could have, so it disconcerted her to see the desperation in her actions. She didn't understand it, and the truth was that she was tired of not understanding.

"Thank God you're here, Anna," she whispered, pulling back, yet still holding onto her hands. The blonde blinked. "_Thank God_ you're alright." Her deep brown eyes then moved from her face to the figure standing behind her, and they seemed to soften and brighten all at once. "Yoh," she murmured, before moving past her to stand on her tiptoes and envelop her son in a warm hug. He returned it with a gentle smile that made Anna turn her gaze elsewhere.

She hated to admit it because it pained her terribly, but Kino had been right. Now that she could remember her past, it was much harder to deal with the present. Before, she hadn't known how the embrace of a mother felt. Before, she hadn't understood why some girls craved the attention and protection of their father. Before, she hadn't been able to tell there was more to the fights Pirika and Horo-Horo or even Ren and Jun had than it seemed. And it hurt. It hurt so badly—knowing that she'd once had everything and that she'd lost it in the blink of an eye for something she hadn't caused and didn't understand.

"Come on," Keiko said, ushering both of them further inside the house. She'd had a silent conversation with Yoh that had not gone unnoticed by the blonde, but at that point, in that house, she had other problems to deal with than trying to decipher the sound of their whispers. "I made chocolate cookies," she announced, smiling while holding onto her son's hand.

He laughed. "Did you know we were coming?"

"No," she answered as the three of them made their way into the large kitchen. She headed for the counter as soon as they entered the room, while Yoh wasted no more time in plopping down on a seat at the table. Anna remained standing.

Noticing that, her fiancé glanced at her with a worried, questioning look in his eyes. She swallowed, crossed her arms over her chest, and shook her head. As much as she appreciated his help, this was a battle that only she could fight.

"I did hope, though," Keiko added, breaking into their silent conversation, as she placed a plate of cookies on the table. "I've been hoping to see you two again for a long time."

"Come on, Mom, it hasn't been that long since we were last here," Yoh said, pulling the plate closer to him.

Anna was grateful for the distraction and for the fact that the action made Keiko's eyes slip away from hers; there was no doubt who she was referring to more through her statement.

Swallowing once again, she hurried to find her voice to speak. "Where's Kino?"

The brunette seemed surprised, but she answered, nonetheless. "She's in the back—with Danzo."

Anna wanted to groan at the news and Yoh seemed to have noticed that, because he almost choked on a cookie with the laugh that threatened to escape his throat. She threw him a glare and quickly made her decision.

"I'll go," she announced, throwing caution to the wind the moment she turned her back on them and stepped out of the room. Danzo had a strange ability to rile her up with the smallest of words, but in that moment, she was so far from caring it surprised even her.

She reached her destination quickly; Kino and the Elders always met in a room at the back of the compound, and before she could rethink her actions and change her mind, she knocked once on the wooden door and pushed it open without waiting for a response.

Danzo looked up from his spot at the table, right on the other side of the room, his gaze molding into a glare as soon as he recognized her.

"What are you doing here, Kyoyama?" he demanded. The arrogance in his voice made her cock her head to the side and wish she could rip his from his shoulders. "I am sure you must have been informed of the fact that we are rather busy at the moment."

"I have," she answered simply.

Danzo raised his eyebrows. "Then may I ask what your purpose here is?"

The blonde didn't even blink before she spoke. "I need to discuss a matter with Kino-sama."

He narrowed his eyes. "Did you not hear a word of what I have just said, or are you being deliberately defying?"

"Not at all," she replied, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest. "Kino-sama has always had her priorities well-set, though."

"That is true," the woman in question interfered before Danzo could even think of an appropriate comeback, standing up.

Pushing away from the doorframe, Anna could only level his glare with a smug smirk. If there was someone she could count on in her attempts to hurt Danzo's ego, that someone was, without a doubt, her old master.

It had been a while since she last allowed herself to revel in such unexpected, gratifying feelings, she then realized, and it was safe to say that she had missed it—if only the slightest bit.

–

–

–

"What brings you here, Anna?" Kino asked as they sat across from each other at the same table in the same room as nearly four months before.

The blonde felt her throat closing up at the memory of how she had acted and what she had said, as well as the way her life had been turned upside down while she sat in that very spot.

"I wanted to apologize," she said as soon as she found her voice, "for how I acted the last time I was here. And for everything I said. I was rude… and my words were uncalled for."

To her surprise, Kino leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table and intertwining her fingers beneath her chin. "There is no need for you to apologize, child; I understand. And, to a certain degree, you were right. I _did_ change you. I knew you would be perfect for my grandson—and that he will be perfect for you. That you will support him, help him get to where he is now… and that he, in return, will protect you. I _did_ change you—so you could face reality better, and I trained you so you could handle your life and everything that it entailed. But there was never a moment in which your well-being left my mind."

"I know," Anna whispered, almost shamefully. Kino had been there for her in ways that nobody ever had. How could she have taken everything she had done for her and thrown it back into her face?

"What is also true," the old woman sighed, "Change was needed for a variety of reasons. One of them being the way you were raised."

Anna perked up in curiosity.

"You were… polite and well-mannered, as one would expect from a Kyoyama. But you were also fussy, finicky—quite spoiled. Your father waited hand and foot on you and you knew it all too well." Kino shook her head. "That was most definitely not the way a future queen was to act."

The blonde swallowed and gazed down at her hands. She didn't know if she wanted to smile or glare or… not do anything at all. She saw herself in Kino's words, and she saw herself in her memories. She was such a different little girl from what she had expected, and she had become such a different woman from what she would have become if she had stayed home… What were the emotions she was supposed to feel? What were the thoughts she was supposed to have?

"Have you remembered?" the Asakura added, pulling her out of her darkened mind.

"Yes," she whispered in response.

"Does your head hurt?"

"Yes."

"And your Reishi?"

She blinked, surprised by the question. "It's gone."

Her mentor nodded once, as though in understanding, and it only took a moment for her to explain her reaction. "Not having thoughts and emotions invading your being was not a sign of you having finally acquired control over your gift," she said. "It was a sign of it becoming weaker."

"What do you mean by that?" Anna whispered, shell-shocked.

"You didn't always have your Reishi, Anna," Kino answered. "It was only after I blocked your memories that it manifested for the first time—a sign of your unbelievable power. Now that you have your memory back, it makes sense for your gift to disappear."

"But how does that work?"

"My theory is that… You were deprived of a part of your life, of something that defined you—of your past. Your reaction was to extend your field of knowledge by any means and as soon as possible. That is why you became hypersensitive to the world around you. Your spiritual power increased, as did your connection with the two worlds; you also became able to read people's thoughts and emotions. I believe it was so that you could be as aware as possible of the present, since you couldn't be aware of your past."

The blonde blinked and opened her mouth to speak—once, twice, even thrice. Then she closed it back and swallowed heavily. "That's…"

"Nothing short of impressive," Kino completed in her place. "You're a very powerful individual, Anna."

"My Reishi had been gradually losing its intensity… And when you told me the truth, it began to _drop_. And then it was gone," she recalled.

The old woman nodded. "That proves my theory is correct."

It was disconcerting for Anna to know that her Reishi had weakened—further and further until it disappeared. She supposed she could always find the power to turn it back on, but she wasn't sure she wanted to access that part of herself ever again. It was, after all, something dark that had tormented her for years and that had made her entire childhood a nightmare. It was a power that had endangered not only her, but so many other innocent people, as well. No, she didn't want it back, that was for sure.

But she couldn't deny the fact that she had become _used_ to her mind-reading ability. Once it had tamed, everything had gone well in that regard, so long as she kept away from crowded places—such as the city centre, where people were milling around with their minds in completely different directions. Malls, cafés, and even clubs were easier to handle; there, they only focused on clothes, food, or listened intently to the beat of the music. There weren't nearly enough emotions to tear her apart—not when she could control her power so well.

And because of that, she had to admit that, to a certain degree, she had begun to _rely_ on her Reishi. She had learned how to use it to her advantage and she had liked that. She had liked having that advantage, she had liked being leagues ahead of everyone else. Anna loved being in control—and that was what her Reishi offered her: control. _Absolute_ control. Control of knowing exactly what people thought and felt exactly _when_ she wanted to know and only _if_ she wanted to know. A new form of defense had been built around it. And then, all of a sudden, when she needed it most, it was gone.

To say that she had been bothered would be an understatement, but the truth was that she hadn't had time to dwell on it. Everything that had happened had lifted her off the ground and thrown her into a whirlwind—a tornado whose force she couldn't beat, couldn't even equal.

She realized then how important this time-out had been for her—the fact that Yoh had come after her to Aomori and forced her to cry her heart out and tell him everything _she_ thought and felt while holding her in his arms and promising that nothing could ever take him away from her. Had he not reacted the way he had, she wouldn't have had any chance of winding down. How much more could she have taken? she wondered, and she found, not with great surprise, that it wouldn't have been much more.

She remained silent in Kino's presence. There was simply too much information for her to absorb all at once.

"You don't know how to deal with this." It was not a question—it was a statement. And although her pride stung, Anna knew truer words had never been spoken. "I wish I were able to give an answer to all of your questions."

"I wish I were able to find my own answers," she countered softly.

Kino smiled faintly. "There are things in this world that can't be achieved. You don't have to reprimand yourself for your inability to reach all of your goals; it's human nature. The spiritual world, however, is another story. And it may hold certain answers for you."

–

–

–

Anna retreated to her room after her discussion with Kino. Yoh was still in the kitchen with his mother and the house seemed to be devoid of other presences, save for Seyram and Redseb. She wanted to be alone, though, so that suited her perfectly fine.

Stopping before the bed, she hesitated for a moment, silently contemplating, before she crouched down and reached underneath for the box she had abandoned so carelessly what now seemed to be such a long time in the past. Grasping it in her hands, she stood and placed it on the mattress, before curling up against the headboard. Dust had accumulated over the lid and she sent the particles flying with a swipe of her hand. Then, slowly, she grasped the lid and opened the box, setting it aside.

This time, she knew exactly what to expect, as well as what she was looking for. Pushing the white envelope away and ignoring the tiny glass box, she retrieved a set of three pictures. She only wanted to see one.

Three smiling faces stared back at her; one had her curly blonde hair, the other her deep blue eyes. Reaching out, she traced their contours with her fingertips.

"How could you do this to me?" she whispered, softly, to herself. "How could you never once ask about me? How could you not care that I almost died?"

The questions were spoken, but no answers were heard. She had a feeling she wouldn't hear them for a long time, if not ever. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, whether she was relieved or upset, but a knock on the door stopped her from reflecting on the matter any further.

A moment later, the knob turned and a small, blond head poked in without waiting for a reply. Anna didn't find it in her to scold him.

"Can I come in, Anna?" he asked, blue eyes large and curious as they watched her.

The blonde nodded, though not before setting the pictures face-down on the mattress, beside her. "Yes, you can, Redseb. What do you want?"

The boy bounded over to her and scrambled up on the bed. His question was immediate. "Are you mad at us?"

Anna frowned. "Mad at you?" she repeated, confused.

"Yeah," he replied with a shrug. "I mean… the other time you were here? You left without even saying goodbye. You didn't come back for Christmas or New Years; you didn't come back for months! And Keiko's been talking about you—_worried_ about you."

"Worried about me?" she breathed, her frown deepening. Why would…?

Redseb nodded. "I heard her talking to Kino lots of times. And when Mikihisa's home, you're all they talk about. I don't think I've ever heard your name as much as in the past few months!"

Anna's eyes softened as his confession.

"If you're here," he pressed, leaning in closer. "That means you're not mad anymore, right?"

"I was never mad." The words were out of her mouth before her mind could process them, but that was alright, because they were the truth and she meant them. "Not at them. Not at anybody."

"Hey," Yoh interrupted their conversation as he appeared in the doorway, still munching on what she could only guess was a cookie. "Mom's done with dinner."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Redseb was crossing the room and flying out the door, leaving them both dumbfounded for a moment.

Anna was the first to recover. "You've been eating since I left?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

The brunet laughed. "What can I say, I'm a growing boy."

"And exactly how much do you plan on growing?" she challenged.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, still laughing. "Don't pick on me because you're small, that's not my fault!"

Anna rolled her eyes. Throwing a sideward glance at the pictures still lying face-down on the mattress, she picked them up and, without even looking at them, threw them inside the box. That wasn't her life anymore, she reminded herself as she set the lid back in place. Then she turned her head and looked at her fiancé, still waiting patiently for her by the door.

_This_ was her life; her light, her future, her Yoh.

Standing up, she made her way towards him, and grasped his hand when he turned to walk to the kitchen.

"Thank you," she whispered, gazing up at him with soft, vulnerable eyes. She had told him she was sorry and she had told him she loved him; and yet, this seemed to be the most genuine she had ever been. Perhaps it was because she wasn't truly sorry for what she had done. Perhaps it was because her love for him was too intense for words to convey. Regardless, as she stood in front of him now, she had never felt more naked. It was as if her soul was in his hands. But if that was the case, she realized, there was no one better than Yoh to take care of it.

Smiling, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her waist, bending down kiss her lips softly and chastely. "So… I take it my girl is finally back?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Good," he said. Taking one of her hands in his, he brought it to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss upon her skin. "Because I haven't seen her in two years. And I've missed her."

Anna could only smile.

–

–

–

She was sleeping when he arrived home that evening; the large house was silent, but bathed in the warm light of the setting sun. She was lying on the couch, dressed comfortably in a pair of jeans and a large sweater, with a book open on her chest and her blonde hair spread all over the dark leather.

A smile pulling at the corners of his lips, he crouched down beside the couch and brushed a hand over her head, gazing down at her adoringly. Only he knew how much this woman meant to him.

"Lindsee," he whispered, leaning in to place a soft kiss on her warm neck.

Her eyes opened, consciousness claiming her with the feathery touch; she blinked a couple of times to chase the sleep away and then stretched lightly, smiling up at the familiar face of her husband.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey," he answered, still smiling. "When did you get home?"

She took a moment to yawn silently. "A couple of hours ago," she replied, before heaving a sigh. "It's been a long day."

"It has," he agreed, and they lapsed into a moment of silence. "Did you talk to Chris?"

"Yeah." Closing the book, she reached out and set it on the coffee table, before pushing her body in a sitting position. "He said he landed safely and that he'd talk to us soon."

"Where did he leave, again?" Anthony asked, taking a seat on the couch and pulling her into his arms. She melted into him, her body molding perfectly to his, and allowed him to brush his hand through her long hair.

"I don't know," she answered. It still bothered her, this habit of her son of leaving without telling her all the details, this freedom he had claimed and needed too early in his life for her to have the time to come to terms with. She was used to it, at least. "He left with Brian. He told me it wasn't anything I should worry about, but… I don't know."

"If he's taking vacations in the middle of the school year, he's going to hear it from me," Anthony grouched.

Lindsee laughed. "I don't think he is."

He heaved a sigh and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"I'm good," he said in response. He lingered for a moment, before confessing in a somewhat strangled voice that made her frown, "I'll have to leave, too."

She turned in his arms to face him. "Where?"

"I have to be on a business trip on Friday."

"Oh," she said. "Can I go with you?"

He had expected her question. He swallowed. "Yes," he said, at length. Lindsee watched him closely with a questioning look in her honey eyes. "I know you need a break… some time away from… everything."

"…But?" she prompted at his hesitation, raising her eyebrows.

Anthony sighed. "I have to go to Tokyo, Lindsee," he stated, and her breath was suddenly sucked out of her lungs.

For a long moment, neither of them spoke. She looked at him, yet he refused to meet her gaze, choosing instead to focus it on the hardwood floor. She understood the sensitivity of the subject, but she swallowed and pushed past the tears it stirred in her eyes. It was time for her to be strong and firm in the decisions she made.

"Perfect," she whispered, and his eyes snapped up to meet hers in shock. "That way, you can take me to see my daughter."

–

–

–

_**A/N:**__ Can you believe this? I updated! Haha! I actually updated in less than a month! I feel proud of myself! But the truth is, it was your wonderful responses to the last chapter that fueled me to work harder and write faster! So, thank you for that!_

_To make it a tradition…_

_1. What did you like most about this chapter?  
2. What did you not like about it?  
3. Anna's coming to terms with her past. What do you think about that?  
4. How do you feel about the glimpses of her family I give every other chapter? They're necessary for the plot, but it's hard to build characters from scratch, so tell me! _

_I hope I can read as many of your answers as possible! _

_Please review! :)_


	14. Stop and Stare

–

**Stop and stare,**

**You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there,**

**And you'd give anything to get what's fair**

**But fair ain't what you really need…**

—"_Stop and Stare" by One Republic_

–

The following morning, for the first time in four days, Anna woke up with a clear head and without any lingering traces of a headache.

She frowned—confused, at first, as to how it was that she was feeling so well, but then heaved a sigh and relaxed into the mattress, determined to enjoy her early start of the day. It was still dark outside, and there was something so incredibly peaceful about the cool, fresh mountain air wafting through the open window, something about the soft pillows and the crisp sheets, about the warm, heavy blanket draped over her body, cocooning her and protecting her against the cold… Something about the way her head had stopped throbbing, something about the sudden calm that had enveloped her without her even realizing… Something that made the blonde want to never leave that bed, never leave that house, and, if the pessimist in her was right and her current state of well-being was simply a product of her imagination, never leave that dream.

It was real, though.

After several more minutes spent in tranquil silence, she stretched and sat up in bed, swinging her legs over the edge as she moved the covers to the side. She wasn't tired anymore. She'd had enough rest and, as it was, she was feeling much too good to let it go to waste.

With that thought in mind, she headed over to her wardrobe, from where she retrieved a pair of old, washed-out jeans and a white sweater that she remembered being ridiculously comfortable. She pulled on her shoes and her coat and then headed out of the house, into the frigid, early-morning air.

She knew exactly where she was going, without actively considering it even once. She wondered if a part of her had known all along that she would eventually find herself there, walking down that road.

Despite Kino's confident assurance, though, Anna knew it was a one in a million chance. The spirits could not provide her with nearly enough information for all the puzzle pieces in her head to come together. This issue—whatever it represented and however it could be defined—was strictly human; it wasn't related to the spiritual word in any way, shape, or form, otherwise it would have long since been solved with the election of Yoh as the Shaman King. There was very little—ridiculously little, even, for a person as hot-headed as she—that she could achieve through meditation; other than to clear a portion of the confusion coating her brain and to take another step forward in trying to understand the cause of the problem, the root of the hatred that obviously existed between two parts of the world that she could hardly even distinguish now, in the light of recent events, there was nothing the spirits could help her with. Unless she wanted to reconnect with old, long-deceased members of her family that may or may not have an idea about what was happening—but that was something she absolutely _refused_ to do. With the relations she had, Anna could go straight to her own father for answers. But the itch would have to be much, _much_ stronger, and even then, her ego would probably dictate that she would rather die first.

Regardless of whether it could help her or not, though, as an Itako, it was a _part_ of her. It—the process, the world itself—was a part of her, a part that she had denied for much too long. It would calm her. It would put everything into perspective and it would hopefully turn her back into the woman she used to be before her world was thrown upside down. Kino had probably been aware of that; most likely, she had simply chosen her wording according to what the blonde had needed to hear in that moment.

The town of Izumo was quiet. Covered in ice and snow, its streets were still, emanating calm, peace, and safety. It was there that she had completed her spiritual training. It was there that she came to pray, to connect, to _breathe_ when Yoh was away and she was worried. It was there that she had spent a good majority of her childhood, not laughing and running and playing, but rather trying to understand the world that surrounded her. It was there that she knew she could find the closet thing she had to a family, aside from her fiancé.

Walking down the path that led to the familiar temple brought back memories that were not necessarily pleasant; dealing with the afterworld hardly ever was. But, this time around, she seemed to be immune to every negative feeling.

It was incredible how much can happen in such a short period of time, how much one simple event could alter the way she viewed the world so drastically. What she used to consider problems in the past were now mere nagging thoughts in the back of her mind. She was finally mature enough to realize the difference between things that were beyond repair and beyond her control, and those that did have a solution.

Her current predicament did. Like Yoh had once told her, it was only a matter of finding it. She knew that now—and she would not hide from it anymore. She would face it—headlong, exactly as was her nature and exactly as she should have done from the very beginning. She refused to let minor details about her past change the person she had become under the care of the Asakura family. She did not know herself? Yes, she did. It was only a matter of accepting—and understanding—the fact that, no matter where she had lived, no matter who had raised and educated her, no matter who had been, or had not been, for that matter, there for her, she was her own person, and while some aspects of her personality might have been shaped by the circumstances, her way of being, her way of thinking, the very essence that was Anna, had not.

As the snow crunched under her feet, the temple came into view, as empowering as ever. It stood tall and proud, and the intimidating architecture made it awfully easy to understand why it was such a central point in the locals' social life. Walking up the stairs that led to the entrance, she pushed the door open, stepping inside; her footsteps echoed in the tall room, until she came to a stop in front of the large, center statue, kneeling down in front of it. Closing her eyes and bowing her head in submission, she forced her breathing into soft, rhythmic movements, allowing her mind to open to the world around her, a world that other people didn't have the privilege of seeing or even knowing about.

She remembered summers. Hot days spent playing in the shallow waters of the blue lake behind their vacation home, plotting revenge against her brother, who always pushed her inside before she considered herself ready. She remembered her mother, who always treated them with the best of sweets, and her father, who always took her side in arguments, no matter who was truly at fault.

She remembered long, harsh winters. She remembered warm Christmas holidays spent decorating a big tree in their living room and eating festive dinners at a full table. She remembered the many presents she received and how they were always a surprise, because she never had to wait for a special occasion to be given exactly what she wanted whenever she wanted it.

She remembered the trips they would take to her grandparents' place, bickering back and forth with Christopher in the back of the car until they drove both of their parents crazy and they considered taking the plane the next time. They never did.

Her mother would be warm and bright and understanding no matter what their problems were. She would cook them their favorite foods and take them to their favorite places. She would always have an answer to their every question. She would soothe them when they were in distress and make them smile when they were sad, and every single day, she would fight for that smile to remain there, on their faces.

Her father treated the two of them differently; looking back, she could see that clearly. There was no doubt that he loved them both with everything he had in him. His family was his life. But she was his little girl. She was the one who crawled in bed with him at nights when her mother was gone and he never had the heart to carry back to her room. She was the one he defended whenever the conflict between siblings would reach him. She was the one who always managed to get everything she wanted from him.

But Christopher had never seemed to mind, because he had a different relationship with him, special in its own way and beautiful in its own right, a relationship that suited him best. He would teach him things she had never been interested in learning, because everything she was able to do came so naturally to her that she couldn't care less if her brother tried to show off with what he had learned from his father. No, she had other matters to focus on. Her status was different—in their family and in the world.

While Christopher… They would bicker all the time and about everything—that was, perhaps, what she remembered most vividly. They were loud and a handful, but their parents always had smiles on their faces while they watched them—something she found extremely difficult to understand. He would pick on her, do something to rile her up, because that was, apparently, his favorite pastime activity, and she would always get back at him, because Kyoyama Anna had never been a coward, not even in her early years, and she never let a matter unresolved. Though that could have also been because she had always known perfectly well that she would never be punished.

At the end of the day, though, Christopher would always be there for her when she needed him—especially in the last month that she had spent with them. She had needed him then, and he hadn't failed her.

Opening her eyes, she heaved a sigh and ran a hand through her tangled, blonde hair. There was a strange tickling sensation in the back of her eyes that she willed with all of her power to disappear.

The same questions prevailed.

_If you loved me as much as I thought you did… How could you abandon me? How could you lie to me? How could you take everything with you and leave?_

–

–

–

"Yoh."

The young man looked up when he heard his name being called, watching as his mother pulled out a seat for herself at the table, in front of him, her brown eyes worried as they met his.

He frowned. "Yeah?"

"I know you must be tired of hearing this question, but… is Anna alright? Is she really alright?"

"Keiko…" Mikihisa groaned from across the room, where he stood leaning against the counter with a cup of tea in his hands.

"No, I'm serious," she insisted, throwing him a glance. "I _need_ to know this girl's alright. I love her as if she were my own daughter. I—"

"Ma," Yoh interrupted, shaking his head. He abandoned his food in favor of calming down his obviously distressed parent. "Anna deals with things in her own way. We all know that. Just because she hasn't been reacting how we would have, in her place, doesn't mean she's not coping well. She needs time to figure it all out, that's all. She'll be fine, I'm sure—if she isn't already."

Although his words seemed to soothe Keiko to an extent, she still wasn't completely convinced, and he was deterred from returning to his meal. "Yoh, Anna…" She stopped, trying to find her words. "…She needs you."

The brunet smiled. "I know, Mom."

"Promise me you'll be there for her," she pressed, in a more serious—if not even slightly threatening—tone. "Anytime she needs you, you'll be there."

Yoh had learned, very young, that when his mother asked him to make a promise, she expected him to keep it in every way and despite every circumstance. She did not take no for an answer and she did not accept an excuse. It was no secret that he was, more often than not, terrified of that. But this was not the case, because the mere thought of not being there when his fiancée needed him might as well have been the most ridiculous thing he had heard the entire week—and that was truly saying something, considering he lived with Horo-Horo, of all the people.

So, more amused than scared, Yoh nodded. "I promise."

With a chuckle, his father interfered, "Yes, well… _That_, in case the rock on her finger wasn't enough of an indication."

The way his mother's eyes widened at the implication was almost comical, but Yoh would have enjoyed the situation more had he not known what would follow it.

"You _proposed_?" she asked in a near shriek, slamming her hand down on the table in what he _hoped_ was excitement.

The brunet made a small mental note to ask his father later about what exactly he had done for him to send such a storm his way. "Not really…" he said, unsure of how to phrase his answer. "I gave her a ring, that's all."

It was only when her eyes narrowed in that dangerous way they always did when she was angry that Yoh realized he had not entirely said what he should have. "You gave her a ring without proposing?" Keiko hissed.

In tune with his easy-going personality, the brunet shrugged off her anger with a laugh. "Ma, what's the point in proposing when we both already know she'll be my wife one day?"

"It's the _principle_ of it, Asakura!" she exclaimed. "Don't you think that when we told you she was your fiancée, we did your job for you!"

"Anna appreciated the gesture as it was," he insisted.

Keiko rolled her eyes. "Right," she scoffed. "Where is she, anyway? I want to see the ring!"

Yoh laughed at her sudden change in mood, while Mikihisa simply smiled from a distance.

To be perfectly honest, he was simply glad that his wife seemed to have been successfully distracted. She had done nothing but worry about Anna ever since she had stormed out of the house in the middle of the night two months prior. She had been too afraid to call or visit, thinking that there was a chance she would only succeed in pushing her away even more by doing that, and so, she had worked herself into a state of concern and anxiety from which he had trouble pulling her out. Mikihisa couldn't say he didn't understand her; after all, he cared about Anna, as well, definitely more than he let on, due to his way of being. He had watched this girl grow up, had watched her struggle to go on, had watched her fight with her monsters and win—and he had gained such an honest affection for her that it would have been impossible for him _not_ to worry about how she was feeling or what she was doing once she found out the truth about what must have been the most horrible event in her short life.

By any means, he _understood_ the gravity of the situation. But, at the same time, he felt that everyone was making a bigger deal out of it than was necessary. Anna was no longer a helpless little girl—and he sometimes wondered if she had ever truly been one, in the first place. There was no doubt that she could take care of herself; she had been through too much for something to still be able to break her. She may be emotionally volatile, that was something Mikihisa could not deny, as good as she was at hiding it, but then again, that was why _Yoh_ was there: to support her, to make sure she wouldn't trip and fall—and he had always done a ridiculously good job at that. The rest were details—details that had been overlooked in the past, but that now, ever since Anna had been told the truth, seemed to mean the world to everybody involved. There weren't enough fingers on his hands for him to count the number of times he'd heard Keiko and Kino talking about the people that were hunting for her life and how she had no clue how to deal with them. In his opinion, what the blonde didn't have was a _reason_ to deal with them.

Two months, and it was almost as though everybody was expecting her, in one way or another, possibly without even realizing it, to take a wrong step. And it was a pity, truly, for he knew perfectly well that she would never do that. If there was anything in the world that Anna was not—because she could truly achieve anything if she put her mind to it—that was careless. He had lost count of how many times he had repeated that to his wife. He could only hope that, now that she had seen, with her own eyes, that the blonde was alive and well, now that she had been reassured by their own son that she would be alright, that he would be there to help her if she needed him, she would offer her trust instead of needless worry.

She deserved it.

–

–

–

The day was cold in Izumo. It was the type of cold he hadn't experienced in a long time; the type of cold that reminded him of long ski trips and winter vacations spent at his grandparents' house.

San Francisco was never as cold. It was never as snowy, either. And if any other time he would have felt grateful for the change of scenery, at this point, he wasn't entirely sure of what he was feeling—but he was quite certain that, beneath anxiety and forcefully driven determination—he was also very, very annoyed.

Stomping his way through the hard mixture of snow and ice that covered the sidewalk and that would, most likely, remain unbothered by the threat of the upcoming spring for a long time ahead, he glanced briefly to his right, then his left, before crossing the street—walking with no clear idea of where he wanted to go, simply picking a way at random.

People would call him crazy if they knew what he was doing, and that was alright, because he wasn't sure he was completely normal, either. But that had always been the case with him. Having an impulse, listening to it. It was his way of being. He wasn't analytical. He wasn't extremely pragmatic. And that was a shame, because he would have had whom to inherit it from, but apparently, he'd chosen not to. That was not to say he didn't think his actions through, because he did—eventually. Only that, on most occasions, by the time he actually bothered to stop and do that, he was already good on his way to his destination.

This time around, he was already there.

Truth to be told, he wasn't sure what he'd thought he'd encounter when he boarded the plane. He'd touched down in the morning, had been wandering the streets ever since, and he still hadn't found an answer to that question.

Izumo was a small city, quaint and silent. It wasn't what he was used to, and it wasn't a place that could grant him peace, not at this point and in these circumstances. He would get what he came there for, without a doubt; there was no going back and no giving up for him. But a part of him wondered exactly _how_ he would achieve it—and how long it would take, since he didn't know where or how to start, and he'd had this dilemma for longer than he cared to admit.

He knew she was there. She had to be. Somewhere in that city, she breathed in the same cold air as him—he was sure of it. He simply needed to find out _where_.

Reaching an intersection, he decided to head right, a slight sense of direction finally mapping out in his mind as the tall tower of a temple slid into his line of sight. If Izumo was a small town, then everybody knew where everybody else was, and if it was as spiritual as the region indicated it was, then the only place that everybody visited—and therefore the best place to search for information—was the temple.

Snow crunched beneath his boots as he hurried his pace, and the stairs, he discovered, were slippery with a thin layer of ice. Behind him, the sky was slowly but surely turning red with an early sunset. The sun was slowly lowering in the horizon, peaking only slightly, from time to time, from behind the dark cover of grey, monotonous clouds. It was a beautiful effect, but, a man on a mission, he didn't turn his head to observe it. Skipping up the last flight of stairs, he reached for the door, only to have it evade his grasp as someone else opened it before he could.

Then it was as if he was in a movie, the following seconds unrolling before his eyes in painful slow motion, allowing him to take in even the smallest of details in high definition.

A woman stepped out, only barely avoiding bumping into him. She was short, hardly even reached his shoulders, and was dressed in tight jeans and a coat that she had left unopened. Long locks of blonde hair fell into her face with her abrupt movements, but she brushed them back with a tiny, delicate hand as she glanced up at him for the first time.

It was impossible for the whole process to have lasted more than two seconds—and then he was staring down into eyes as blue as the sea and the sky thrown together in a glittering mixture. Eyes that could hypnotize people with a single glance. Eyes that he saw, time and time again, every day, in the mirror.

"Anna…" The word escaped him before he could process it. It escaped him before his mind had even made the necessary connections to associate it with the person standing in front of him. _Somehow_, something shifted in the back of his mind, in his memory, zinged with electricity and pushed the name out of his mouth—it was as simple as that.

Something flashed in her eyes, as well. He saw it clearly. It could have been fear, doubt, or recognition. That, he didn't know. But she didn't blink, and she didn't move, and the more he looked at her, the more he realized he didn't regret the single word that now hung in between them. It was, perhaps, the most honest one he could have spoken in this situation.

A long moment passed in silence. He gazed down at the girl—no, _woman_—standing in front of him, his mind working itself into overdrive trying to explain his current predicament—and failing, unfortunately, unable to process much more than the knowledge that _she was there. _

After a second, she averted her gaze and moved to the side, but he hurried to reestablish the connection as he absentmindedly grasped her arm to keep her in place.

"Wait," he said, and he was surprised to hear his voice sounding so unlike what he was used to. He wondered if that was because his throat felt sore and tight, or because his ears behaved as if they were submerged deep into the ocean.

The blonde looked up at him once more, her eyes clear, but swimming in confusion. Did she realize who was standing in front of her, holding onto her arm? he wondered. Did she know who he was? Did she know who she, herself, was? The alert expression in her eyes told him that she did. The way she was so ready to brush off his presence and leave without a single sound or gesture made him doubt it.

"Don't leave," he continued, this time in full control—because while he wasn't sure he would be pleased with the answers to his questions, he still wanted to know them; he wanted to find out. "Please."

In sharp contrast with his request, though, he let go of her arm. His throat was still as dry as the desert, despite how heavily he swallowed as he struggled to find the right words to express himself, wishing for the first time that he had planned at least _something_ in advance. Would it have served him, though? he had to wonder. Would he have found it easier to push the sentences out of his mouth had he prepared them beforehand? Or would he have been lost—in the moment, in her eyes, just as he was now?

Intentionally or unintentionally, she put him out of his misery, blinking languidly, almost lazily—unaffectedly. "What do you want?" she asked with a clarity that startled him. This wasn't a woman asking a man she'd never met before why he was keeping her in place after they'd accidentally almost bumped into each other outside a temple in Izumo. No, this was a woman that knew what she was asking—and, perhaps more importantly, _who_ she was asking.

His heartbeat slowed at the realization, returning close to normal—not quite there, but nearly. His hands stopped sweating, and a grin broke on his face, without him being able to initiate the simplest of actions to prevent it. He doubted he would have bothered—or even wanted—if he could have.

"You're here," he said, reverently, as if he only then realized it, as if he was only then able to truly digest the reality of what was happening, of who was in front of him, of the fact that he'd actually accomplished what he'd come there for. "_Thank God_ you are! And you know who I am!"

For a moment, she looked ready to argue, but he interrupted her in instant, almost as though he was afraid of a rejection, of the possibility of her squashing his growing hope.

"I know you do," he insisted, not entirely sure of whom he was trying to convince more. But she said nothing in return, simply gazing at him with an unreadable emotion in her eyes—and he assumed he had won. "You can't _not_ know. There's no way." His grin widened. "And I can't believe I actually _found_ you, but I did…" Shaking his head to stop his rambling, he grasped her hand, without thinking. "Just stay, alright? Don't leave yet."

Once again, the blonde opened her mouth, ready to retaliate. But he didn't register her frown, and he didn't register her growing distress. Euphoria was sizzling through his veins, and he couldn't quite be bothered. He did that sometimes, people had told him. Get so wrapped up in his own world and his own happiness that he dragged everybody else in it with him, whether they wanted and enjoyed being there or not. The girl seemed to fall in the latter category, if the expression on her face and the manner in which she tried to pull her hand away were any indication, but he simply turned around and tightened his grip.

There was nothing that could have ruined this moment for him.

As he began to hurriedly make his way down the stairs, he pulled her with him. "Come on," he encouraged, ignoring what seemed to him only half-hearted protests. "Come with me."

Turning the corner with her right behind him, he couldn't help but grin even wider to himself.

After all, what Christopher Kyoyama wanted, Christopher Kyoyama got. His little sister included.

–

–

–

"So… You're pretty hot."

Anna looked up from her cup of hot chocolate, blinked once, and glanced across the table at the man sitting opposite from her, grinning sheepishly from ear to ear in a way that reminded her ridiculously much of her fiancé.

It was a couple of moments until she found her voice and her words. "…Are you kidding me?"

He laughed, shaking his head. "I wished I was, but no."

With a frown, the blonde returned her gaze to the dark liquid swirling in her foam cup. As much as she would have sent anyone who dared to make such a bold statement in her presence to the afterworld, she felt much too overwhelmed at this point to manage to summon even an ounce of proper annoyance. Her mind refused, point blank, to dwell on it. It refused to _dwell_, period. The sight of him and the knowledge of who he was had rendered the inside of her head completely blank.

How was she supposed to act around a stranger that was her brother? And why was she even supposed to interact with him? Never in her wildest dreams had she expected to see a member of her family again other than in photographs—and she had been perfectly fine with that, because otherwise the entire process would have been too painful and too strange.

It _was_ strange, alright.

But having Christopher in front of her didn't feel painful. It didn't quite feel much of anything at all. And perhaps it was that that befuddled her so much.

"What do you want?" Her voice was so soft it surprised even her.

But his answer was simple. "I wanted to see you."

She raised her head to meet his gaze, her expression almost challenging as she dared him to elaborate, "And you did."

Christopher smiled. "I wanted to _meet_ you," he clarified.

"How did you know where I was?" she immediately asked, giving him no reprieve.

He didn't seem to mind as he shrugged. "I supposed you were still living with the Asakuras."

Anna frowned. "I'm not." Shaking her head, she almost wanted to laugh at the fat chance.

A grin spread on his face upon hearing her response. "I'm a lucky man," he boasted.

She remained silent. He considered himself lucky for being there, sitting across from his long-lost sister. Could she do the same? Was his luck synonymous with hers? The answer would have been painful had her capability of feeling returned.

As silence fell over them in a thick blanket, his smile diminished, and he reached across the table to touch her—only to stop halfway when he realized he had no way of knowing how his action would be received.

"Anna…" he started, and for once, his voice was quiet, almost pleading. Her gaze rose to meet his again, identical shades of blue clashing. "Please don't push me away… I know you must be angry, and I understand—really, I do. But…" He trailed off, shaking his head. It had always been the least of his problems, but, at this point and in this situation, Christopher had no idea how to word his feelings.

Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, the blonde breathed out a silent sigh. She wasn't angry. Far from it, even. She simply didn't know how she felt with regard to him and his presence and his words. Christopher… she had spent the majority of her life without even knowing that he existed. She'd always known about her parents. She'd always known they'd left her. She'd always felt _something_ for them—whether it was anger or hate or pain or resignation. But she'd never known about Christopher, and perhaps that was part of the reason why she was finding it so difficult to grasp at which emotions were swirling inside of her now that she had him in front of her. At the same time, though, Anna knew she could never put him in the same category as her parents. No, Christopher had always been there for her. Christopher had never failed her. And there was absolutely no reason for her to treat him as though he had.

And yet… What could she possibly tell him? What could he possibly want from her? What had he expected when he flew halfway across the world to look for her? They didn't know each other anymore, that was more than obvious. And why did he want to be there, with her, in the first place? Why had he come? It was late, much too late. It was too late for anything to be salvaged. She could try to claw her way out of her dangerous predicament, to make peace with her past so that she could move on with her future—but the family she'd once had could never be part of her present again.

Swallowing, she cleared her throat. "Why are you here?" she repeated, dissatisfied with his first answer.

"I wanted to see you," he said. "I already told you."

Meeting his eyes, she seemed tired of the game he was playing. "You don't know me, Christopher."

"But I want to," he insisted with a grin.

She shook her head with a silent, tired sigh. "Don't you see?"

His brows furrowed—whether in confusion or annoyance, she had yet to understand. "All I can see is that you're my sister, Anna. If I want to see you, I have the right to."

"Yes, I am," Anna snapped, rolling her eyes, her patience already reaching its limit. "You're my brother, Christopher, way to go, you're right. But you're also their son, and I'm not their daughter anymore. I haven't been since the day they left me—and I don't _want_ to be," she spat, leaning forward in her seat to take her point across. "Is that clear?"

Christopher simply sighed. "Our relationship doesn't need to have anything to do with our parents," he told her.

Anna raised an eyebrow, her tone infused with sarcasm as she answered, "Really?"

For the first time since their conversation started, his blue eyes flashed with annoyance. "When did it ever, Anna?" he snapped right back.

Her eyes narrowing dangerously, the blonde prepared to lash out at him and show him what she was truly made of, show him that no one ever spoke to her like that without suffering the consequences, but she stopped at the last moment and snapped her mouth shut. Gritting her teeth, she realized that he was _right_. What their parents said or did had obviously had an effect on them—as children, as persons, as future adults; but never as brothers. Their relationship had never been affected by outward factors. They accepted and understood each other regardless of the changes that occurred within them, as persons, and no one had ever managed to change that. Looking back, Anna could clearly see that they'd had a wonderful relationship—so tight-knit that maybe it could have been considered strange, even for brothers. But could they really have that back, as he was so blatantly insisting? With a gap of ten years and millions of wrongdoings between them, could they be siblings again?

"Look," Christopher sighed, capturing her attention. "You have a point," he admitted. "The truth is… With all this shit going on, I wanted to come and see you. I needed to see my sister. I promised Mom that I would talk to you if I ever saw you, if I ever recognized you, but… but I guess I never realized until then just how much I actually wanted to meet you. I _miss_ you, Anna," he stressed, his blue eyes almost pleading with her to understand, to relate. "Don't turn me away before you find out what could be between us. Besides, you have no real reason to reject me, Anna, you're just being stubborn!"

"I'm not—" Pressing her lips together to avoid saying something she would most likely regret later on, Anna slouched in her seat, with her arms crossed over her chest and her glare directed to the world moving outside the large window.

For a long moment, she was silent. She could send him to hell for treating her as he so obviously thought he had the right to—surely, she could do that. But was that what she truly wanted? God, she did not _know_! She did not _know_, and it was driving her crazy.

"I…" Wetting her lips, she eventually decided to give him something in return, if only to soothe that stubborn part of her that told her to give him all the explanations he needed, so that maybe then he would understand, see that she was right, and stop pestering her with useless demands. "I don't know what I'm feeling. I only found out about this a couple of months back. I haven't come to terms with it yet—and maybe I never will. You being here… I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know what you want, I don't understand what you want, because… because I never thought I'd see you again." Making a small, annoyed sound in the back of her throat, Anna rolled her eyes, "I didn't even know you _existed_, Christopher."

From across the table, he blinked dryly in her direction. "You don't care much about tact or about people's feelings, do you?"

"No," she snapped, glaring at him. Then, after a moment, she sighed and shook her head in resignation. "You're a moron. I don't even know why I'm surprised—I should have been able to tell. Who the hell comes all this way… without even knowing who he's looking for or if she's even there?"

Christopher shrugged. "A brother does anything for his little sister," he said, grinning when he saw the dangerous tint in her eyes. She hadn't changed as much as she made it seem, that was a given. The more he talked to her, the easier it became to see his little sister in the woman sitting across from him. His amusement slowly faded as the thought and reality of what exactly had pulled them apart lowered down upon him. "It's not my fault," he felt the need to say.

"I know," she answered with a slight shake of her head.

"No, really," he insisted, shifting in his seat, as the need for her to understand and see his point engulfed him whole once more. "I know you may think that I… that I had a great life because I was with my parents, while you were deprived of that. It's not exactly like that. I mean, yeah, they never left me," he admitted, rolling his eyes. "I get that. But… but the situation is more complicated than that. I—"

"It's fine," she interrupted him. "I'm not about to blame you for something you're obviously not responsible of. I'm not even about to start delving into such matters. I only want this to be over so I can finally move on with my life and forget it ever happened."

Christopher simply smiled behind his cup of coffee, more amused at her logic than intending on taking it seriously. "It sucks," he confessed after a second. "Having a sister and not knowing how she's doing—or where she is, for that matter."

A moment passed before she felt the actual need to huff an amused breath. It was as if she was wasting her words for nothing with him. As much as she tried to stray away from his preferred topic of conversation, all he did was continuously find ways to return to it.

Shaking her head, she leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table as she reached for the straw of her drink, slowly starting to swirl it in the still steaming liquid. "How can you claim to be so attached to me when you don't know anything about me other than my name—and, now, how I look?"

"That's the thing," he replied, grinning. "I _do_ know you. I grew up with you. We did everything together. I can recognize you, Anna. And maybe I don't know you _now_, in the real sense of the word, but I _want_ to. I don't know about you, but I want my sister."

And as he looked into her eyes, Christopher knew: truer words had never been spoken.

She was beautiful. He'd always imagined she would be, but nothing truly prepared him for seeing her in reality. She truly took the best from both of their parents—the honey blonde hair that curled into loose, large ringlets from their mother, along with her full lips. Pale complexion; smooth, perfect skin. Light brown eyebrows, the deep blue eyes that ran in their father's family, complete with long, thick, jet-black lashes. Small nose. High cheekbones. And, definitely, their father's personality. She was obviously tough, practical, and level-headed, with a tint of coldness that she might have achieved in the absence of her family, and yet with an underlying hint of softness and vulnerability that he never saw in their father anymore.

And he could _recognize_ her. He could see the fire in her eyes—the fire that had always been there, propelling and fueling her every move.

Smiling nostalgically, somewhat sadly, he continued, "You know, sometimes I ask myself the same question," he admitted. "I wonder what exactly it is that ties me to you, that makes me think of you. You were a kid. I was a kid. My memories are faint. And, as much as I'd like to put it simply and say Mom and Dad kept your memory alive for me, I can't. They didn't. It's too much, even for them. And I…" He paused, struggling to find his words. "It's confusing. And it gets annoying sometimes. Because I can't seem _not_ to think of you. So much time has passed and I've been through so much without you… All I know about you adds up to a couple of faded memories and the knowledge of your existence—you're right about that. I don't know why you're on my mind, what drove me, even now, to fall back on everything I've ever known and everything everybody's always told me, everything my mind warned me not to do, and come and see you. But…" He shook his head, giving up. He couldn't find the way to explain himself. He hadn't been able to explain how he felt when it came to her in a long time, and he had reached a point where he had almost come to terms with it.

"That time…" Anna swallowed, and hesitated. There was a nagging thought in the back of her mind, though, along with her inborn curiosity, that would not allow her to walk away before she cleared her own suspicions. "You didn't have a car accident, did you?" Christopher blinked in surprise, unaware that she had known of his injury—and confused as to why she would bring it up. "You were shot, weren't you?"

"Yes…" he replied unsurely.

She nodded. "Everybody told me you'd had an accident. But I… knew differently."

Christopher blinked. "How?"

"I had a dream," she answered simply, this time with no reluctance. But she wanted to roll her eyes at how ridiculous her explanation seemed, and after a moment, she caved and did exactly that.

Then she frowned.

It was disconcerting, how easy it was for her to talk to him, how quickly the words fell from her lips, uncensored. Her guard was down, completely, and although she knew the man in front of her would never hurt her, she wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. He wasn't a stranger. But he wasn't the definition of a brother, either, not in their story and in their circumstances.

Regardless, the fact remained: she hadn't told a soul about the dreams she'd had or about the beliefs that had come to form in her head. Yoh had been there; he knew of their existence because he'd been the one she would sometimes wake up to, forehead creased with worry and eyes intent as they watched her warmly. She'd always brushed it off as a recurring nightmare, and he'd seemed to be content with the explanation, seeing as it wasn't the first time she had them—and probably wouldn't be the last. As for the reason why she'd never even thought of telling him the truth, that was simple: because she didn't _understand_ it. But, now… as she sat across from a man of her past that seemed so intent on worming his way into her present, it all began to make more and more sense, jumbled words that had once formed a theory coming together like pieces of a mismatched puzzle to form a terrifying reality—but one that was hers, regardless.

"How…?" His question pulled her out of her thoughts, the frown etched on his features speaking of his confusion.

Anna shrugged. How she wished she had an answer to that question.

As if sensing her unease, Christopher reached across the table, and before she had the time to register his action and move away, grasped her hand. "I believe you," he said, his voice warm and reassuring. But there was only one thing she could focus on in that moment, and it wasn't his words.

His touch was ridiculously familiar for a stranger; his hand was warm and much larger than her own, and although she stiffened at the contact, it wasn't entirely uncomfortable, and she didn't feel the need to jerk away, like she usually did when faced with intimate contact from unfamiliar persons.

"I guess there are things in this world that simply can't be explained," he stated. Then he paused, seemed to think better of it, and changed his previous statement with confidence. "No, actually, they can."

Anna raised an eyebrow, already wary of what he would say. "Is that so?" she drawled.

Christopher grinned, leaning back into his seat. "Yeah," he answered. "You're my sister."

The blonde blinked once, before she huffed an exasperated breath and shook her head, reaching for her hot chocolate. "I don't know why I expected a more intelligent response."

He laughed. "Me neither."

Once more, Anna shook her head. There was simply too much for her to deal with, too much she had yet to sort out, too much she had yet to come to terms with. The fact that she'd woken up in a better mood, willing to accept her past and the world that surrounded her, what it had done to her present and how it had shaped her future, along with everything else that she still had no knowledge of, but that would soon be revealed to her in one way or another, didn't mean that she was alright. It didn't mean that she was ready to take on the world. It didn't mean much of anything, to be perfectly honest—not in the grand scheme of things.

And now her brother had appeared, on top of everything—and the door that had been in front of her opened, a door that led to an entirely different world that she hadn't known of, possibilities that she hadn't even considered spilling before her in a disorganized mess.

"I have to go," she said, pushing her chair back while wrapping her scarf around her neck.

Chris was on his feet before she was.

"I'll go with you," he claimed, and for some reason, which she supposed was tiredness, she didn't find it in her to fight him.

They walked out of the small café together, into the cold winter air of the city. It had started snowing again, and Anna's breath escaped her lips in a puff of white air when she sighed.

"I'm going home," she told him, more than ready to leave his unnerving presence that very instant.

But Chris caught her wrist, holding her in place. Her entire body tensed, but she complied, looking up at him in exasperation.

"Come with me down the street," he told her. "I've rented a car. It's shit, but I can take you home."

"I like to walk," she retorted, twisting out of his grip.

"It's cold," he insisted.

She rolled her eyes. "I _like_ the cold."

He laughed. "You're cute, I'll give you that."

Anna pressed her lips together, sending him a murderous glance that warned him he clearly had no idea who he was dealing with.

However, either he was too stupid to notice or he ignored her completely—and the mere thought of that possibility made her even more annoyed.

A moment passed in silence.

Chris stuck his hands into the pockets of his pants.

"I'll be around," he told her, his words drawing her gaze towards him.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "I won't."

He fought a grin. "I meant Tokyo. I assume that's where you're headed so hurriedly?"

Anna groaned, ignoring the way her blonde hair fell into her eyes, disturbed by the cold wind that was blowing. "Look, I don't know what you want from me, but—"

"I don't want anything from you," he said, and it surprised her to hear how sincere he was. "I'm not asking for anything. I just…" He stopped, and shook his head. Every time he thought he had come up with a logical explanation that would allow him to be close to her and he opened his mouth to communicate it, he ended up facing the cruel realization that he actually had no clue.

Anna had no patience, either.

"Listen, I—" she started, ready to push him away, but her sentence was cut short as he suddenly grasped her arm even tighter and abruptly pulled her forward, ripping a surprised gasp from her throat. "_What_—"

Following his attentive gaze, his expression serious and suddenly almost aggressive, she immediately glimpsed his reasons—and rolled her eyes.

"Black cars," she concluded, yanking her arm away as the two SUVs turned the corner and slowly drove out of sight. "You saw black cars. That's nice. They're associated with Mafiosi, but that's in _movies_."

It was Chris' turn to roll his eyes. "Come with me," he commanded in a firm tone that left barely any room for argument, reaching for her arm once more. "I'll take you home."

Anna evaded his grasp by moving away, glaring at him. If only she were a little less emotionally exhausted, she thought, he would have had a very, _very_ bad time that day.

"Listen," she hissed, yet again, glancing around to ensure they weren't attracting more attention than they should. "Being here with you—it's not even _safe_ if you want to go down that road. It's not safe for me to be seen beside you—beside _any_ of you, for that matter. I don't belong in your life, you don't belong in mine, no matter what you choose to believe about us being connected in any way. That doesn't matter in the grand scheme—and the harsh reality is, I have to take care of that _first_ before delving into smaller matters."

There was a brief moment of silence, before he blinked. "You're calling me a small matter?"

Anna huffed. Out of everything she had said, _that_ was what he had understood? "You're lucky to be called even that," she snapped.

He laughed, but his unease was clear as he reached up to scratch the back of his head. "Listen, can we just have this conversation somewhere else?"

"No," she said, with an air of finality around it. "I have nothing to do here, talking to someone whose existence I hadn't known of for ten years. Alright? You don't have a place in my life."

"That's mature," he pointed out as she turned around to leave, rolling his eyes. "Just, sweep everything under the carpet. Today never happened."

"I will," she promised, sending him one last look over her shoulder, just in time to catch his sigh and the unconvinced shake of his head.

–

–

–

Yoh was there to greet her when she returned to the compound late that afternoon. With his lips stretched in his signature grin, he stood from his spot on the porch, stuffed his hands into his pockets, and started walking in her direction, meeting her halfway by opening his arms and enveloping her in a warm hug. Anna closed her eyes and didn't waste a single second in returning the gesture, slipping her hands beneath his open coat and burying her face into his chest.

She felt exhausted; physically, mentally, emotionally—from all possible points of view. She had been surprised by how well she had felt in the morning, but she had now returned to the point where all she wanted was to place her head on the pillow, close her eyes, and sleep—remain unconscious and unbothered and not have to deal with everything life decided to throw in her face without a single glance to see if she could even deal with more on her already full plate. She'd had all the faith that a new day would offer her the chance to reflect and find the conclusions she so desperately needed. Instead, what it had offered her was even more material for reflection—and she was growing so, _so_ weary of that.

The message was clear, though, without a doubt: she was not getting a break.

"Where have you been?" Yoh inquired as he pulled back, taking the liberty to tuck a lock of blonde hair behind her ear.

Anna didn't mind, and she didn't protest.

"Around," she answered, not being deliberately vague despite the circumstances. A part of her argued and roared in protest, reminding her that she had just come clean and that she had made a promise to herself to never lie to the most important person in her life again, but she was _tired_. She was so tired. The last thing she wanted at that point was to discuss what had happened and whom she had met. She would, later on. She would, without a doubt. But not now. She couldn't.

Oblivious to her inner turmoil, Yoh smiled, smoothing his hands over her hair and then stopping to cup her cold cheeks. "Feeling better?" he asked, brown eyes, endless pools of warmth, boring into hers.

She simply nodded in response.

"How's your head? Still hurting?"

"No," she said. "It's fine."

"Good." He paused, and then grinned. "Dad saw your ring and he told Mom. Most likely, you'll have a lot of questions to answer tonight."

Resisting the urge to groan, Anna let her head fall back only with a roll of her eyes.

Yoh laughed lightly. "Sorry."

She shrugged and sighed, repeating, "It's fine."

"Let's go inside," he encouraged, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he began to steer her in the direction of the front door without waiting for a response.

Anna had no strength and no reason to fight him. The sky was starting to darken, the night almost closing in on the village, and although the snow had stopped falling, the cold was potent—chilling her down to her very bones.

Thankfully, they were able to reach her room without interruptions, and the blonde found it in her to feel grateful for that. She wasn't in the mood for conversations. She wasn't in the mood for much of anything, to be honest. She knew the reason, but she didn't necessarily _feel_ it. She wasn't angry. She wasn't upset. She wasn't even sad, or happy. She supposed there was a certain amount of frustration sizzling through her veins, frustration directed specifically at her helplessness and her inability to control the situation, control her life and her destiny, but other than that, she was simply tired. Her mind was working—too much, too hard—and that either stifled her ability to read her emotions or her emotions had completely given up on trying to sort themselves out. Either way, Anna cared for nothing other than blissful unconsciousness.

As soon as they entered her room, she kicked off her boots, shrugged out of her coat, and then lied down on the bed, on her side, slipping her arms underneath a pillow and closing her eyes.

A mere second passed, and the mattress dipped with another weight. A warm hand reached out to smooth the hair away from her face, tucking it gently behind her ear.

"Do you want me to leave?" Yoh asked in a soft voice, brushing his fingertips over her cheek, pressing a lingering kiss to her temple.

"No," she answered—because it was the truth. She may not have something to tell him, she may not want to talk and she may not want to do much other than sleep, but she wanted him there—_needed_ him there, almost. Now that she had found out how it felt to have him know, have him hold her hand and tell her everything would be alright when actually knowing what he was talking about, she never wanted to live without it. She didn't think she _could_ live without it anymore. And a certain part of her, a part of her that wasn't scarred enough to have trust issues, was soothed by the knowledge that she'd never have to.

"Are you alright?" he murmured, his voice slightly muffled by her hair.

Anna spent a second contemplating his question. Was she alright? The most obvious answer would be a resounding 'no'. But the truth was that she had been in worse places, so she felt compelled to nod.

A minute crawled by in silence. Anna closed her eyes and focused only on him—on the arm that wrapped tenderly around her middle section, bringing her securely against his strong chest, as well as the breath that fanned steadily against the back of her neck.

Finding her hand, Yoh intertwined their fingers, squeezing it gently. "We will need to talk about what happened four days ago," he told her, his voice soft, soothing. It was only later that she realized he was trying to gauge the impact the incident—unknown in its entirety to him—had had on her. "Alright? Not now, you don't have to tell me anything now. Not even tomorrow. But once we're back home, at some point… we'll have to talk. Alright?"

"It's fine," she told him, brushing his concern away. She wouldn't mind discussing what had happened; she could even go as far as saying it was the least of her problems. A long time had passed and she had come an even longer way since then, but Anna was used to violence; uncertainty scared her more.

Yoh nuzzled her cheek in response, gently kissing her soft skin.

"Did you ever doubt me?" she eventually asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. "I know I denied everything, but I could have simply not known by then."

"I know," he answered, and they both seemed to share the same thought as they separated, shifting so that they could face each other as they spoke. "I never did. I knew it was possible. I guess a part of me simply refused to accept it. But, in the end, I found it very… unrealistic, you know? I've known you for my entire life and everything was so… real, so believable." He shrugged. "It makes sense, though. Everything does, now. Why you felt sick that day. Why you kept asking questions. Why you were pissed that night, when I came here."

Anna tried to hide a smile at his choice of words. "How were you able to tell?" she asked instead.

"When you almost fainted on me that day, at school… I got a phone-call. Remember?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"It was to tell me that… your bother, Christopher, had an accident."

Anna bit her tongue and forced her expression to remain neutral. There had been nothing accidental in what had happened to her brother; it had been a deliberate assassination attempt that had failed in some way, and while she was aware of the fact that Yoh was only trying to protect her emotionally, she still felt slivers of annoyance at the knowledge that she was being lied to. But because her brother was the last subject she wanted to open, she remained silent.

Moving into a sitting position made her fiancé have to gaze up at her as he continued. "I looked at you, and… and it was as if a light suddenly went on in my head and everything clicked and connected for a moment. I mean, it would have been normal for you to feel… _something_, to _know_ that your brother was in danger, I guess. Then the moment passed and I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever come up with."

With a tired sigh, Anna nodded, and reached for the little purple box that still sat on her nightstand, undisturbed, placing it on her lap. "This is what Kino gave me when she told me the truth," she said, her voice calm and steady, if not a tad bit too quiet. Yoh settled himself beside her while she ran a hand over the lid. "This… is what they left me with."

Pressing a kiss to her temple, he tangled one of his hands in the blonde hair at the nape of her neck.

"Basically," she continued as her fingers pried open the box, "They left me with a credit card and three pictures. As if that was supposed to make it alright. As if that was supposed to make me think they actually cared."

"Can I see?" he asked, and she nodded, handing him the object in question without complaint.

"It happened the exact day you came home," she added. "Kino called me here without giving me much of an explanation—and she told me everything."

Removing the lid, Yoh scanned the contents with curious eyes. There was a white envelope inside, together with a small stack of upside-down photographs and a smaller, transparent box with a little bow on top. "People know of you," he told her as he picked the latter up and held it up to examine its contents. Slowly, he turned his gaze back to her. "They know of what your father did to protect you. Some think you're dead. Some doubt that."

"I guess…" She shrugged. "I've seen how Jun reacted."

Turning his attention back to the box in his lap, he reached for the pictures at the bottom, turning them over in his hands.

A laugh tumbled past his lips before he could stop it. "Oh my God, you were too cute!" he exclaimed, peeking at her over the top of the photograph in his hands. True enough, she was glaring at him, though the intensity of her stare was nothing compared to what he was usually at the receiving end of. "I'm sorry," he laughed, "but I can't help it! You were adorable! Look at your hair, it _curled_!"

With a roll of her eyes, Anna lied back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"It didn't curl when I met you," Yoh stated, the memory as vivid in his mind as though it had only happened the day before.

"It was shorter when I met you," she offered as means of an explanation.

Glancing back at the photograph in his hand, he frowned. "Why did you cut it?"

Her answer came late. "I don't remember," she said. "You know I try to forget memories of my childhood."

Yoh's eyes softened. "Anna…"

She shook her head and, with a sigh, once again pushed her body into a sitting position. Long hair tumbled over her shoulders with the movement, obscuring most of her face, prompting her to tuck it behind her ears.

"Yoh, you know what I was like back then," she said.

Her voice was silent, but resigned. As much as he'd love to think that talking about her past wasn't as much of an issue as it used to be, Yoh knew he would only be fooling himself by doing that. It _was_ an issue—not because she continued to try to hide it from him, but because it was painful, plain and simple. Anna would never reach a stage in her life when she could say that she was truly over it. And it killed him to know that there was nothing he could do to help her achieve that.

"You know how my life was. But you weren't able to feel what I felt—and thank God for that. When you came into my life… I was even better. Because… I'd become used to everything. I was numb, really, you could say. But when I woke up that day…"

A delicate shiver ran through her as she shook her head and rolled her eyes in an effort to stop her tears from falling, and Yoh didn't think twice: he reached out and tugged her into his arms, enveloping her tightly with his warmth. Reclining against the headboard, he kissed the top of her head, and slowly felt her relax against him. She settled her hands on his chest and her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply.

The brunet was well aware of everything that had happened in her past, but no matter how many times they talked about it or how many times _he_ turned it over in his head, his heart always broke at the thought of her as a small child. It was almost torturous for him to consider everything she had been through, and although he knew his pain could never equal the one she had felt for so long nor could it help her in any way, he couldn't control it. She didn't deserve anything of what she'd had to endure. Who did? How do you explain to a child that she was different from all others? How do you explain _why_? How do you explain why she was avoided? Why she was hated? Why she had powers she could not control? How do you give her the safety, the stability, and the comfort of a home when you are unable to help her with her biggest problems and be there for her when she needs you the most? His grandmother had tried—there was no doubt in his mind that she had, because he knew how much he loved her. But there was nothing no one could have done for his fiancée, and perhaps it was that that broke his heart into the tiniest splinters: the knowledge that her reluctance to trust and to rely on someone other than herself was perfectly justified.

"Remember the first time we met?" he whispered gently in her ear after he was sure her heartbeat had calmed.

Anna scoffed. "Of course I do, idiot."

He smiled. "I knew right away you were going to be everything to me," he confessed, gazing down at her lovingly.

The blonde threw him a bland look. "I _threatened_ you, Yoh."

"Yes," he admitted with a small laugh. "And I believed every word of it. You were the most terrifying little human being I had ever seen." As he stopped to brush a lock of unruly hair from her forehead, a gentle smile curved his lips upwards. "But that made no difference, because, in the end, you were already there—in my heart. You made your way there in an instant. And since then, there's been no way you could possibly leave."

Anna closed her eyes to hide the glossy sheen they had gained during his speech and buried her face into the crook of his neck. Yoh smiled at her reaction, placing a lingering kiss on her temple.

"I'm sorry," she whispered after a moment of silence, shifting so that she was sitting beside him, their shoulders touching, "for not telling you from the very beginning." She refused to look at him, choosing instead to curl her legs to her chest and fix her gaze on her knees, but she was talking, and when had Yoh not been grateful for that? "I know you're going to say I'm not really sorry, you've said it before and maybe you're right… to a point. Not telling you…" She sighed. "It wasn't much of a conscious decision… I just didn't see any other way. And because I still remember so vividly how I felt, I still don't. I didn't know how to control the situation. I didn't even know what the situation _was_. But I _am_ sorry… for the circumstances… for my lies and my secrets… for what they brought between us." Shaking her head, she looked up at him. "I never wanted anything to come between us… and this did… and I let it."

"It would have come between us, anyway," he assured her, tracing her cheek gently with his fingertips. "But I don't love you any less because of it."

Anna swallowed. "I want you to know… to have it very clear in your head… that I didn't do this because I didn't trust you." She couldn't express how important it was to her that Yoh knew how she truly felt about him. He was the only person who had been there for her in everything, and the simple thought of him doubting their relationship made her heart clench painfully in her chest. She didn't care about other people, she didn't care about Kino or about Jun or even about her parents and brother if it came to that, but she couldn't lose what she had with Yoh; she couldn't lose his trust and his respect.

The brunet smiled. "I know."

His understanding nearly melted her resolve, but she pushed through, because there was more that needed to reach his ears. "When I'm with you…" She paused, struggling to find her words. "I forget about everything. Because what we have is so much more important. There are moments when I still wonder why you love me, and I never find an answer, but I _feel_ that you do… and that outweighs anything and everything."

"It's okay," Yoh insisted, sitting up straighter and reaching out to cup her face in his hands. Before he could touch her, however, she slapped them away.

"No, it's _not_ okay," she argued. "It's not. I see that now. And maybe I saw it all along. But…"

"It _is_ okay," he stressed. "I know I told you things I shouldn't have. I was angry. It's alright—I can understand. I can relate. It wasn't easy, I get it now."

"You said some things that I felt were the truth. I—"

"They were the truth on the spot," he made a hasty interruption. "I don't actually feel that way. Or maybe it was how I used to feel in the past. Who knows? It doesn't matter. It _doesn't_, because I _know_ how you feel about me. I know you love me. Couples have problems. Whatever." He shook his head. "My reaction was wrong because my motivation was wrong. You're not under any obligation to tell me anything about yourself unless you want to. But…" Turning so that he was fully facing her, he took one of her hands in his own. "But what I really need you to do from now on is tell me when you're in danger. Anna, what you did back there was reckless and stupid and you _need_ to understand that. Pirika said you already knew the man who attacked you. You've met him before, I'm sure of it. You can't ignore that. You can't ignore _them_."

An acid reply on the tip of her tongue, Anna simply sighed and leaned forward, burying her head into his chest, letting the warmth of his protective embrace envelop her whole. She wanted to say that she could defend herself, that she had been well aware of what she was doing all along, because, in her twisted logic based on what little she knew, she had. But the truth that nobody could deny was that she _had_ almost died; she _had_ almost been killed and there was absolutely _nothing_ she could have done in that moment to save her life—so there would be no point in even attempting to argue with her fiancé's reasoning.

"I need to know that you are safe," Yoh murmured in her hair. "You're everything to me. You say you should be able to understand that."

"You know that… I won't always be able to do that," she confessed, almost immediately. "Tell you everything right away, I mean. You know I prefer to solve my problems on my own."

Yoh sighed. "I know. You make the effort." Kissing the top of her head, he rested his cheek against her temple. "I'll love you, anyway."

–

–

–

A subtle creak was what brought him to consciousness that night. The house was old, so the doors and floorboards were noisy, but although he almost always ended up being awakened every time someone walked down the hallway and made the smallest step in the wrong direction and with the wrong amount of force, it never bothered him. This time was no exception. He supposed, aside from his laidback attitude and calm demeanor, that there was simply a certain comfort that only being _home_ could bring him, making him immune to any disturbance.

As he opened his eyes, he was able to immediately recognize his surroundings, though he failed to tell exactly for how long he'd been asleep. He gave up on his attempt in an instant, his brows furrowing as he made out her small form approaching him from the darkness, tendrils of worry beginning to grasp at his heart as he sat up in bed.

"Can I sleep with you?" she whispered. Her long hair was pulled back in a disheveled ponytail and she was dressed in pair of navy shorts and a white tank top.

His frown deepened, his confusion growing even as he shifted to make place for her on the bed, lifting the covers for her to slip in beside him.

"Of course you can," he murmured. "What's wrong?" As she joined him, he curled an arm protectively around her shoulders; she snuggled into his side, every crook and nook of his body seeming to be perfectly made so that hers could fit against it, and he pulled the covers over both of them, burying a hand into her hair and pressing a light kiss to her forehead.

It wasn't immediately that she answered him, but he waited patiently.

"I have dreams…" she eventually whispered, almost shamefully. "And I don't want them."

Yoh sighed. He was more than grateful that she had come to him, more than grateful that she had trusted him enough to tell him what was wrong, that she seemed to have overcome her original inhibitions, but he also hated the fact that she was feeling the way she was, hated that there was nothing he could do about it other than wrap her up in his arms and tell her everything would be alright. He wanted to do _more_ than that. He wanted to _make_ it alright.

"Dreams about the past?" he inquired softly, with his lips pressed to her temple.

Anna nodded almost imperceptibly into his chest. "Yes." Frustration had almost swallowed her whole as she'd tossed and turned before finally accepting defeat and slipping out of bed, heading down the hall for her fiancé's room. She had not expected her dreams, and she could understand their presence even less. She tried so hard not to remember her family, tried so hard to push every associated memory in the darkest of corners—and she _managed_; there was simply no explanation of why they would reappear every time she closed her eyes.

"Anna…" Yoh heaved out, tightening his embrace.

"I've never dreamed about them before, Yoh," she explained. "They have no place in my life."

"Anna," he tried once more, struggling to find an explanation, struggling to tie together at least one sentence that could soothe her, "As an Itako… you must have a certain connection with the world around you. You—"

"A connection that manifests _now_?" she snapped, throwing him a harsh glare. "Stop being ridiculous." With a huff, she turned her back to him, resting her head on the pillow.

Yoh smiled gently at her reaction, shifting to wrap his arm around her waist. "Relax," he murmured. "You didn't know about your family. Now that you do, your entire being molds differently to the world around you. You're aware of more, you're—"

"I know _nothing_ about them," she interrupted with fierce determination. He could imagine the hard look in her eyes as she stared forward into the darkness.

He shook his head. "Your mind doesn't," he clarified as his fingers ghosted over the sliver of exposed skin at her waist and his lips came to brush against her ear. "But your heart… your heart would do anything for them."

–

–

–

Asakura Keiko heaved a silent sigh as she walked out of her bedroom, making her way down the intricate, yet familiar, hallways of her house until she reached the large kitchen.

She was thirsty. Usually, she kept a glass or a small bottle of water on her nightstand, since she always seemed to face the same problem during the night, but with everything that had happened the day before, between caring for Redseb and Seyram, spending precious time with her son, and worrying about his fiancée, she had forgotten all about her own needs.

Without turning the light on, relying purely on what little crept in through the window, she headed for the sink and poured herself a glass of the cold liquid, leaning with her back against the counter to sip from it.

It had been a hectic two days, to say the least. But she was glad—glad that she had gotten to see her son, glad that she had seen Anna, glad that she had been assured that she was fine, that she was slowly coming to accept who she was and what had happened. And, with the knowledge that Yoh would be there for her every step of the way, she felt that she could finally sleep more easily at night.

Mikihisa was right, she thought, with a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. The rock on her finger _was_ every indication.

She spent a couple of minutes there, basking in the darkness and silence of the house, before setting her empty glass in the sink and heading back down the hallway to her bedroom.

On the way there, though, she couldn't help but stop outside her son's room; smiling as she rested her hand on the doorknob, she then slowly turned it, pushing the door open carefully, trying to make as little noise as possible.

She had missed having him there, under the same roof as the rest of her family, being able to spoil him with cookies and goodies and his favorite home-cooked meals, hearing his infectious laugh, seeing his charming grin… He had been hers for much too little time.

Stopping as soon as the crack was large enough for her to slip through, she stepped inside. No sooner had she taken two steps that the sight she was met with suddenly became clear—and her eyes softened.

Yoh was lying on the bed, on his side, one arm buried under his pillow, the other thrown lazily around his fiancée's waist, his head buried in her blonde mane. Anna was lying with her back to him, nestled in his protective embrace, her vulnerability more evident than Keiko had ever seen it. Her engagement ring shone brightly on her finger, the precious stones catching even the dim light from outside, glittering in the darkness of the room.

She had to bite her lip and make a conscious effort to stop herself from cooing over them.

Sighing softly, she moved further inside the room, her heart clenching as her mood suddenly sobered. Grasping the blanket, she tugged it over both of their bodies, making sure they were covered and protected from the chill of the night.

"My children," she whispered softly, running a hand over their heads, respectively. "The destinies you both have… the weights you have to carry on your shoulders…"

There was only one thing that could possibly make a mother feel better in such a situation, and Keiko was immensely glad that she had access to it: the fact that, through thick and thin… they had each other.

–

–

–

_**A/N:** I have no excuse for how late this update is. Have a long chapter in exchange? I am really, truly sorry that it took so long, but as usual, I wanted it to be as perfect as possible._

_Particular aspects that I would want some feedback on are…_

_1. What did you think about Christopher?  
__2. What did you think about their reunion? It was a nightmare to write, but did it turn out realistic?  
__3. Lastly, do you think Anna's behaviour is consistent? Unfortunately, it's a problem I always have with stories that I don't update so often._

_Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and your patience! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, late as it was!_

_P.S. There's a project set up on Tumblr to offer help to the Philippines; I've reblogged it, so go see what it's about if you're interested!_


End file.
